****I know it's been a long time since I've updated. I've been without at computer and it's taken me until now to get things going again. I hope you enjoy this chapter for those of you who are still interested in reading it lol Let me know what you think!

To Kill or Pussy Out

Night fell on Steelport as Shaundi raced her car down the street. I didn't say much, just gripped the door handle for dear life as she weaved in and out of traffic. The radio was off. Nothing but the loud hum of the engine filled the cabin air as she pressed the gas harder. I was certain her foot was pushing the pedal to the floor.

"You mind telling me where we're going in such a hurry…and why you don't seem to care if we make it there alive?" I asked after she made a sharp turn and hit the curb of a sidewalk. She didn't answer me. "Hello? Earth to Shaundi!"

She continued to focus on the road. She completely ignored me. "The silent treatment huh?" I said after a moment. "I can play the treatment game too you know. How about a treatment of vomit all over your dash if you don't stop driving like a maniac?" Once again, she ignored me. "I mean it. I'll spew everywhere. *gag* Ugh, I can taste what I had for lunch. I knew sushi was a bad idea."

Shaundi's eyes darted in my direction at the mention of warm fish bits splashed in her car. I looked at her and smiled. "I knew you were listening to me. So, you gonna tell me where we're going or not?"

"Nope, 'cause we're here." Shaundi slammed on her breaks. I lurched forward in my seat until the seatbelt locked and caught me. The air left my lungs and I went into a coughing fit. Shaundi got out of the car, without an apology for almost breaking my ribcage mind you, and waited as another car pulled up. It was a purple car, reminiscent of something I could only imagine a pimp would drive. A group of men got out. They were all wearing purple, signifying they were members of The Saints. They were heavily armed. My eyes widened. Were we going into a gunfight? Did Shaundi really expect me to put my rad gun skills to use this soon? I shook my head 'no'. I wasn't ready for this. The men nodded at Shaundi and she yelled at me. "Let's go, Killer!"

I don't know if it was the forcefulness in her voice, or the fear of what would happen if I didn't listen, but I didn't hesitate to get out. I did, however, hesitate to grab my pistol. I slowly put the weapon in the hem of my pants and put on a brave face. I did have a persona to portray after all. I took a deep breath and walked forward, bouncing like a "gangsta" with each step. I met up with them and crossed my arms over my chest. I looked at Shaundi. She looked back at me, baffled, before putting a hand over her eyes.

"Yo, girl. You alright?" asked one of the Saints.

"Yeah." Shaundi dropped her hand and looked at me again. "I'm just getting a headache all of the sudden." She gestured to me. "This is…Doug. He's new."

Doug? Doug?! She couldn't think of a better name than that? Like Vigo? Or Sly? Or Arnold Swarzenasskicker? Anything better than Doug…not that it's a horrible name, but it's not really Saint worthy. May as well just keep my actual name. I opened my mouth to retort and Shaundi placed a hand over my mouth.

"Doug is a deaf mute. He can't speak." She said with force so I'd get the hint to keep my mouth shut. "But, he can read lips. Isn't that right, Doug?"

I just gave a short grunt in agreement and gave her a stern look. A deaf mute? Really? Shaundi smiled at me. She was so pleased with herself, I could tell. Boy, did she have a few well placed grunts coming her way later. Her phone rang and she answered quickly. A few moments of silenced passed. "The crew's ready downstairs. Say the word and we crash the party." She said before hanging up.

Party? What party? I finally took a look at where we were. We had stopped at a tall high-rise apartment building. The crew started to move inside and Shaundi nudged me with her elbow to follow her. I slowly stepped forward. I had a feeling this party was going to suck. I followed the group into the lobby. A security guard watching the building moved forward and started to draw his gun.

Shaundi aimed her pistol at him. "Don't even think about it."

The guard backed down and we continued toward a service elevator. We waited. And we waited. Why were we not moving?

"Boss is sending the elevator down. Once it opens, we'll make our way up. Just be ready for a fight." Said Shaundi.

The boss was there? I was right. This party was going to suck. I felt like hyperventilating. My palms started sweating. The amount of firepower these guys had showed me whatever we were doing here, it wasn't going to end well. And, I was going along with it. Was I crazy?

Shaundi could sense my growing nerves. "Just stay by me and don't do anything stupid." She said quietly. She stopped and stared at me with a look of bewilderment.

"What?" I whispered and wiped my nose. "Do I have a booger?"

"No, I just realized who I was talking to."

"You're really good at that reassurance thing. You know that right?" I said with sarcasm.

The elevator door opened and her crew stepped inside. "Just be quiet and follow my lead. You'll be fine." She radioed ahead with her phone. "We're coming up. Keep the door clear."

We rode the elevator up to the top of the building. It felt like it took forever, but that could have just been my nerves. The doors finally opened to the basement of a penthouse apartment where we were met with multiple gunfire from people wearing pink and black suits. Shaundi and her crew rushed out, guns blazing. I would have moved out too, but my feet were frightened.

"What's the plan here?!" asked Shaundi.

"We clear these bastards out of our new place!" Screamed The Boss over the gunfire. He popped a headshot into a foe and ran upstairs.

"Easy enough." Said Shaundi as she ducked behind a stack of sheetrock to reload.

I a bullet grazed by my head and I darted out of the elevator. I ran up and crouched down beside her. "You think you could have picked an easier initiation than this?!" The gunfire was hard to speak over. "I about pissed my pants when those doors opened! Would have been nice to have a little bit of a heads up!"

"Hey, you wanted to see what it was like to be a Saint. This is it." Shaundi popped up and fired a few rounds into an enemy. "These things aren't always planned."

"Uh-huh" I said. "Oh yeah, nice job on making me look like a dumbass back there. A deaf mute? Really?"

"You already achieved dumbass status with that stupid walk you did. What the hell was that by the way?"

"I was trying to act the part." A bullet blasted through the sheetrock, narrowly missing me. Shaundi ducked out of cover to shoot. I guarded my head from oncoming bullets. "Who the fuck are these guys?!"

"They work for The Morningstar."

"Morningstar? But, aren't they supposed to be part of The Syndicate?" I was confused. "I thought Mayor Reynolds said they were a myth."

"You always believe politicians?" Shaundi kept firing as she spoke. "Now shut up and help!"

I grabbed my pistol and looked over cover. There was a Morningstar agent coming right toward us. I raised my weapon and aimed. I put my finger on the trigger. I hesitated to pull it. I could shoot cans all day, but a person? I guess I didn't think this through as much as I thought. I'd done too much to get here to back out now, I had to pull this off...but...no. I couldn't take a life like that, bad guys or not. Yet, I couldn't just sit and do nothing either. So, I aimed a bit to the left of my target and purposefully missed. I kept firing and missing each shot. The Saints had it covered and the Morningstar were dropping like flies. How was it so easy for them to take lives like this? Great. A thought popped into my head. Me being there made me an accomplice to murder. That made me just as bad. Shaundi broke my concentration with a gunshot and took care of the agent coming toward us. She stood up. The basement was clear.

"Were you even trying to hit that guy?" She asked, skeptically.

"It's hard to concentrate with all the noise. Bullets flying everywhere. I panicked. I'm sorry." I shrugged and noticed a Saint staring at us. I remembered how I wasn't supposed to talk and changed my tune. "I mean…ungh."

Shaundi rolled her eyes and darted upstairs. I hurried behind her. We were met with more gunfire once up top. The penthouse was huge and decked out in nice furniture and décor, complete with a gym, bar, pool, and elaborate bathrooms…very fitting for the Saints. I could see why they wanted it. A feeling of sadness quickly flowed through me. If the Saints wanted this place as their new crib, that meant Shaundi would no longer be next door. That thought didn't sit well with me for some reason. Morningstar were everywhere and I could see more of them being dropped off in helicopters outside. Did I mention the place had a fucking helipad?

I nudged Shaundi and pointed. "Boss, guys are getting dropped off outside." She said.

More Morningstar busted through the tall windows into the main living space. I ducked into a bathroom for cover and occasionally popped my head out to fire a few rounds. Each one missed. I heard a loud explosion from a grenade going off and I shut the bathroom door.

"A fucking grenade?!" I said to myself. "Who throws a grenade indoors? These people are fucking crazy. What the fuck did I get myself into? This HAS to be the stupidest thing I've ever done."

I walked over to the sink to wash my face. Maybe cold water would shock me out of this nightmare. I splashed water over my eyes and looked in the mirror. I looked so different than I had a few weeks ago. My beard had grown thicker. I looked rugged. I looked like a man. A man. I thought about what that meant. Was it enough to look like a man? To look tough even though I'm not? I was playing a part that no amount of rehearsing could ever prepare me for. But, there was a reason I was there. There was a reason I took the job for Jane. That reason was important to me. Too important to back out of. I wiped my face on a towel and made my way toward the door. A magazine cover caught my eye. It was an old issue of BoyToy. The one with topless Shaundi on the cover. I picked it up and looked at her picture. She looked young. It was obviously back in her stoner days. You could tell that by the joint in her hand and her dreadlock hair do. She sure had changed a lot over the years. She'd matured so much. If you asked, I'm sure she'd credit that to The Saints. They changed her life for the better. Maybe I was there for more than just a job. Maybe being with The Saints would change me too. I heard another explosion. I dropped the magazine and grabbed my chest. My heart was beating hard from terror.

"Then again, maybe being with the Saints will get me killed." I said before turning the knob to the door. I opened it and hit someone on the other side. It was a dead Morningstar agent. I stared at him as Shaundi ran up to me.

"Where the hell have you been?" she asked. "We could have used you."

"Nature called." I lied, gesturing to the toilet behind me. "I wouldn't go in there. It's pretty rank."

"Well, while you were crimping one off we found out this place is rigged to blow. Boss is on the hunt for the guy with a way to disarm it."

I stared at her. I know my face turned white. "I think nature is about to call again."

"It can wait. Come on." She grabbed me by my jacket and pulled me back downstairs to the basement and over to a box on the wall. She opened it to a small clock running backwards from 5 minutes. She cursed under her breath and started messing with the wires inside, one red, one blue, one green, and one black.

"You sure you know what you're doing?" I asked looking over her shoulder.

"Shhh!" she responded. "Just watch my back while I do this."

"Got it." I stepped back and stared at her ass. I tilted my head at it's perfect form.

Shaundi looked around and at me. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm watching your back." I said redundantly. "It's quite distracting."

"Quit being an idiot and go watch the damn entrance. There may be some stragglers hiding out." She ordered. "Or would you prefer to go hide in the bathroom again?"

"No. No. I can keep a lookout." I walked away toward the stairway. "Jeez, you have no sense of humor."

"And you have no sense of intelligence."

"I have sense enough to tell you that you need to cut the red wire."

"How the hell would you know what wire to cut?"

"I did an article on bomb making a few years ago. You'd be surprised how easy they are to make. You can use objects in your own home." I looked up the stairs to see if they were clear. "Article almost got me put on a terror watch list when it ran."

Shaundi huffed and continued to fiddle with the wires.

"I bet you 20 dollars it's the red wire."

Shaundi put a finger up for me to be quiet and brought her phone to her ear. She waited for it to pick up and wasted no time. "Looks like this thing is on a coded timer and the clock is ticking. You got him yet?" A moment passed as she got her answer from the Boss. "Nope. No codes. Just four wires. Red, green, blue, and black."

As Shaundi continued on the phone I heard a rustling from behind a concrete pillar. It was a rogue Morningstar agent. He was coming up behind Shaundi. I tried to get her attention but she was still focused on disarming the bomb. He didn't even see me, or know I was there, but he was going to hurt Shaundi. He raised his weapon up to shoot her. I raised mine as well. I couldn't let Shaundi die. I wouldn't. But, I couldn't take a life either. I saw a propane tank nearby and hatched an idea. I ran, grabbed the tank, came up behind the agent, and slammed him upside the head.

*CLINK*

The agent fell to the ground and I kicked his gun away. I dropped the tank as Shaundi turned around. She looked down at the agent and then up at me. She seemed surprised I was able to take him down. I smiled triumphantly and stepped over the unconscious man.

"Not bad for someone with no intelligence, eh?" I said, keeping my smile.

Shaundi crossed her arms and nodded behind me. "Not bad, but you still have a problem."

I furrowed my brow, confused. I turned around to see the agent I'd just bitch slapped with the propane tank staring at me with angry eyes. His face was red and his fists were clenched.

"This is going to hurt isn't it?" I asked him. He nodded and knocked me out cold. The last thing I remember was his pale white fist coming towards my beautiful, rugged face before everything went black.