Ridley: Yay! I read a few of these, and I liked them so much, and I just LOVE this movie, so I'm doing the ever cliché 'Watching the Movie' bit. I might bring Future!Hiccup and Valka in later. :) Enjoy

Dragon: If they enjoy this, which sane people do not.

Ridley: Dragon, do you want me to lock you in the Pit of Doom again?

Dragon: *shrinks back in fear* NO!

Ridley: Good, then shut up. Again, ENJOY!

Ridley: I do not own this, obviously.

"I SAID STOP THE FIGHT!" Stoick yelled, whacking his hammer down upon the iron enclosure, which rattled the entire arena. Suddenly, there was a burst of white light, and the next thing the inhabitants of Berk knew, they were in a room with dark walls and floor. One of the walls was covered with what looked to be an enormous white sheet stretched across it, and there were… were those giant pillows on the ground?

Everyone seemed incredibly confused, as they rightly should be. Hiccup looked around and his eyes widened when he saw Toothless sitting in the back of the dark room, surrounded by other dragons. He started to walk towards Hiccup, but Hiccup made a motion with his hands that clearly said, 'stay where you are'.

Toothless did as he was told, but seemed very glum about it.

There was another flash of the white light, and everyone shielded his or her eyes. When the light faded, it revealed a teenage girl. She had long, curly red-blonde hair and blue eyes, and was wearing an odd assortment of clothing; trousers made of a course blue fabric, strange footwear that resembled the sandals that some of the Vikings had seen Romans wear, and a light green tunic of sorts, though it was missing the sleeves. She waved to the confused Vikings.

"Hello, there!" She said cheerfully. To everyone in the room, she sounded absolutely insane. Perhaps she was, to be in a room full of Vikings and dragons. "My name is Ridley, and I will be your host this evening."

"Host?" Stoick growled at her. "Host for what, exactly?"

Ridley giggled, and the Vikings exchanged looks. Yup, very much insane. "Well, you see, I am from the future, and-"

"The future?" Snotlout scoffed, crossing his arms across his chest, "Prove it."

Ridley rolled her eyes. "Um, I just brought your entire village from your dragon training arena to a movie theatre, so does that work for ya?"

Snotlout glared at her. "No, it just proves that you're a witch. Let's burn her!" He shouted.

The strange girl rolled her eyes again and snapped her fingers. Snotlout was thrown onto a nearby pillow by an invisible source, and seemed to be stuck there. Ridley grinned. "Oops, my finger slipped." She deadpanned. Turning back to the rest of the villagers, who shrank back from her (they may be bad ass Vikings, but even they weren't stupid enough to go up against a witch), and she continued to speak as if she had never been interrupted. "As I was saying, I am from the future. I brought you here to watch your past and future actions for my own amusement, before I wipe your memories and send you back to your one time. Any questions?"

A lone Viking raised his hand. Ridley pointed at him. "You, with the eye patch."

"Ah, yeah, why are there dragons over there?" He asked hesitantly. He did not want to anger this witch.

Ridley grinned her maniac grin. "OOH, you noticed. Gold star for you!" A star-shaped gold sticker suddenly appeared in-between the Viking's eyes. "They are hear as my guests, and there is an enchantment on this room making it impossible for them to hut you, and vice versa. Yes, what is it?" She asked the last part wearily as the same Viking raised his hand again.

"What does 'vice versa' mean?"

"It means that you can't attack them either." She said.

The Viking nodded. "Alright, then."

Ridley smiled dangerously at them. "Take a seat," she said, motioning to the pillows with her hands. "I brought you all some bean bags instead of chairs. They're much cooler."

Hiccup sat down next to Astrid, relieved at the knowledge that know one was going to hurt Toothless.

Ridley disappeared, and so did all the light in the room, but her voice could still be heard as an image lit up on the white wall. "Enjoy the movie, folks!"

FADE IN:

EXT. NORTH SEA/VILLAGE - NIGHT

We skim above a dark, wild ocean. The camera turns toward a lone island, Berk. It is a gigantic shard of rock jutting straight out of the water.

HICCUP (V.O.) This is Berk. It's twelve days North of hopeless, and a few degrees South of freezing to death. It's located solidly on the meridian of misery.

Many people started when they realized that the voice now narrorating was Hiccups. Hiccup shrunk lower in his seat. He already didn't like what was happening.

The camera drifts over rolling hills to reveal a small village nestled on an outcropping of seamounts.

HICCUP (V.O.) (CONT'D) My village. In a word, sturdy. And it's been here for seven generations, but every single building is new.

The camera drifts closer, circling.

HICCUP (V.O.) (CONT'D) We have fishing, hunting, and a charming view of the sunsets. The only problems are the pests. You see, most places have mice or

mosquitoes. We have...

Sheep graze peacefully on a hillside. Suddenly one is snatched.

CUT TO:

INT. STOICK'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

A door is pulled open... as a DRAGON swoops directly toward it, BLASTING FIRE. The door is SLAMMED. The fire shoots through the slats of wood, illuminating HICCUP, a gangly teenage Viking.

HICCUP

...dragons.

Snotlout decided that now was the perfect time to speak up. "Uh, we already knew that, Fishbone." He said with a roll of his eyes. Astrid reached over to punch him in the thigh, and he yelped.

EXT. STOICK'S HOUSE

He reopens the sizzling door, as leaps off of the front porch. He weaves through the erupting mayhem as Vikings pour out of the buildings, ready for a fight.

More dragons swarm in, setting rooftops alight and hauling off sheep.

HICCUP (V.O.)

Most people would leave. Not us. We're Vikings. We have stubbornness issues.

Some of the Vikings shrugged and nodded at that last comment.

Vikings sound the alarm. Viking men and women pour out into the streets, axes in hand. ON HICCUP darting through alleys, staying under eaves, making his way through the battle.

HICCUP (V.O.) (CONT'D)

My name's Hiccup. Great name, I know. But it's not the worst. Parents believe a hideous name will frighten off gnomes and trolls. Like our charming Viking demeanor wouldn't do that.

Stoick glared at him. "There's nothing wrong with the name, boy," he growled. Hiccup flushed a little bit, but said nothing.

Dragons sweep back and forth, dodging axes and blasting the Vikings who throw them. A burly warrior gets tossed in an explosion, knocking Hiccup to the ground.

VIKING (FIERCE) Arggghhhhh! (cheery, insane) Mornin'!

The Viking in question chuckled a bit. "Tha's wha' 'appens when you 'ave one to many pints!" He chortled.

Some others laughed along side him, even one or two of the dragons.

Hiccup gets to his feet and continues to rush past gigantic men and women.

HICCUP (V.O.) Meet the neighbors. Hoark the Haggard...

HOARK What are you doing out!?

HICCUP ... Burnthair the Broad...

BURNTHAIR Get inside!

HICCUP ... Phlegma the Fierce...

PHLEGMA THE FIERCE Get back inside!

HICCUP Ack.

He passes a silent ox of a Viking, picking his ear.

HICCUP (CONT'D) Yep, just Ack.

Enter STOICK, the biggest Viking of all. He yanks Hiccup from the path of a strafing dragon and holds aloft to the crowd.

STOICK Hiccup!? (accusingly; to the crowd) What is he doing out again?! (TO HICCUP) What are you doing out?! Get inside!

The flames light up his scowling face and matted red beard. He sets Hiccup down and turns to the sky, searching.

Stoick pursed his lips at the image on the screen. That wasn't really how he was, was it?

HICCUP (V.O.) (IN AWE) That's Stoick the Vast. Chief of the tribe. They say that when he was a baby he popped a dragon's head clean off of its shoulders. Do I believe it?

Stoick grabs a wooden cart and hurls it, knocking the

strafing dragon out of the sky.

HICCUP (V.O.) (CONT'D) Yes I do.

The dragons all looked uneasy at this, while Hiccup glared at the screen.

Stoick looked at it in shock. Hiccup sounded like he admired him. It felt good to know that his son looked up to him. He turned to see if he could see Hiccup in the crowd, but did not catch sight of him.

An EXPLOSION forces Vikings to DUCK. Stoick stands firm, brushing flaming debris off of his shoulder.

STOICK (barking; to his men) What have we got?

VIKING #1 Gronkles. Nadders. Zipplebacks. Oh, and Hoark saw a Monstrous Nightmare.

All of the mentioned dragons sat up a little straighter as they're names were said.

STOICK Any Night Furies?

Hiccup turned to look at Toothless with a small smile.

VIKING #1None so far.

STOICK (RELIEVED) Good.

VIKING Hoist the torches!

Massive flaming braziers are raised on poles, lighting up the night sky... and revealing swirling dragons of all types.

Below, Hiccup crosses an open plaza and ducks into an open building with a tall chimney.

INT. BLACKSMITH STALL - CONTINUOUS

He crosses behind a counter, where a peg-legged, one-armed hulk of a Blacksmith reshapes blades with a hammer and tongs appendage.

Gobber pointed to the screen. "Look, there I am!" He said loudly, and several people shushed him. "Eh, sorry."

GOBBER

Ah! Nice of you to join the party. I thought you'd been carried off.

Hiccup dons a leather apron and starts to put away Gobber's scattered appendages.

HICCUP Who me? Nah, come on! I'm way too muscular for their taste. They wouldn't know what to do with all this.

Hiccup strikes a bodybuilder pose.

Every single person and dragon in the theatre laughed their bellies ached. Hiccup felt his cheeks burn. This was a private conversation; he didn't want anyone to hear it!

GOBBER They need toothpicks, don't they?

More laughter, but it died down quicker this time.

Hiccup gets to work, transferring bent and chipped weapons to the forge as Vikings crowd the counter for replacements.

HICCUP (V.O.) The meathead with attitude and interchangeable hands is Gobber. I've been his apprentice ever since I was little. Well...littler.

Astrid turned to Hiccup and smirked. "Because you still are little." She said with false sweetness.

Gobber yelled, "Meathead? Who are ya callin' a meathead, ya little toothpick?!"

Hiccup chuckled, and called over to him, "Sorry…meathead."

EXT. VILLAGE – CONTINUOUS ON STOICK

STOICK We move to the lower defenses. We'll counter-attack with the catapults.

Armed men rush past, flanking others who carry sheep to safety. Stoick follows up the rear as, overhead, a dragon strafes the rooftops with Napalm-like fire.

HICCUP (V.O.) See? Old village. Lots and lots of new houses.

VIKING -FIRE!

In response, the fire brigade charges through the plaza - four TEENS, tugging a large wooden cask on wheels. From it, they fill buckets of water to douse the flames. One among them is a cute, energetic Viking girl. Hiccup leans out of the stall to watch her.

HICCUP (V.O.) Oh and that's Fishlegs, Snotlout. The twins Ruffnut and Tuffnut. And… (DREAMY) Astrid.

Hiccup felt his cheeks flush again as Astrid smirked at him once more.

A SLOW-MOTION explosion erupts behind her, framing her in a sexy ball of fire. The others join her, looking awesome and heroic.

HICCUP (V.O.) (CONT'D)

Their job is so much cooler.

"You got that right! OW!" Snotlout said as someone threw something at him.

Hiccup tries to join them as they pass, but he's hooked by Gobber and hoisted back inside.

"I really hate it when he does that," Hiccup said quietly to Astrid.

HICCUP (CONT'D) (PLEADING) Ah, come on. Let me out, please. I need to make my mark.

GOBBER

Oh, you've made plenty of marks. All in the wrong places.

The people in the room chuckled, except for Toothless, Astrid, and Hiccup.

HICCUP Please, two minutes. I'll kill a dragon. My life will get infinitely better. I might even get a date.

Snotlout snorted. That Fishbone, get a date? Yeah, right. Lucky for him, he said this inside his head, saving himself from bodily harm.

GOBBER You can't lift a hammer. You can't swing an axe...

Gobber grabs a bola (iron balls connected by rope).

GOBBER (CONT'D)

... you can't even throw one of these.

"Wait for it…" Hiccup said under his breath.

A Viking runs by and nabs it out of Gobber's hand, hurling it at a dive-bombing Gronkle. The bola binds its legs, sending it into a heavy crash.

HICCUP (ready with the answer) Okay fine, but... He rushes to the back corner of the stall and presents a bizarre, wheel barrow-like contraption.

"What's that supposed to do?" Fishlegs asked him curiously.

Hiccup grimaced. "You'll see."

HICCUP (CONT'D) ... this will throw it for me.

Hiccup OPENS the hinged lid of the device. An arm springs up, equipped with twin bows. They prematurely launch a bola, narrowly missing Gobber... and taking out a Viking at the counter.

The Viking that had been hit huffed. "Tha' really hurt, you know." He accused.

Hiccup mumbled a small, "sorry."

VIKING Arggh!

GOBBER See, now this right here is what I'm talking about.

HICCUP

Mild calibration issue.

"Big calibration issue." Gobber said with a smirk.

"Thank you for pointing that out, Gobber." Hiccup replied sarcastically.

GOBBER Hiccup. If you ever want to get out there to fight dragons, you need to stop all...

Gobber gestures in Hiccup's general direction.

GOBBER (CONT'D) ... this.

HICCUP (ASTONISHED) But... you just pointed to all of me.

GOBBER Yes! That's it! Stop being all of you.

Astrid laughed a bit at that. "Oh, don't give me that look," she said as Hiccup glared at her, "It was funny!"

"Was not."

HICCUP (THREATENING) Ohhhh...

GOBBER (MIMICKING) Ohhhhh, yes.

HICCUP You, sir, are playing a dangerous game. Keeping this much, raw...Vikingness contained. (BEAT) There will be consequences!

"Consequences?" Tuffnut asked, screwing up his face in thought?

"What consequences?" Ruffnut finished.

"Um…" Hiccup said awkwardly.

Gobber tosses him a sword.

GOBBER I'll take my chances. Sword. Sharpen. Now.

Hiccup takes it begrudgingly and lobs it onto the grinding

wheel. He stews... fantasizing...

All of the Vikings, teens included, stared at the screen in shock. Finally, Fishlegs said what everyone was obviously thinking. "I didn't know you could even lift a sword."

Hiccup eyed him. "Thank you… I think…"

HICCUP (V.O.) One day I'll get out there. Because killing a dragon is everything around here.

Hiccup snorted to himself. The dragons in the room shifted uneasily.

EXT. VILLAGE - LOWER PLAINS - CONTINUOUS

Nadders land, gathering like seagulls around a seemingly vacant house.

HICCUP (V.O.) A Nadder head is sure to get me at least noticed.

The Nadder looked like it was smiling.

The Nadders clamber onto the building, tearing the roof and walls apart. Sheep pour out and SCATTER.

Elsewhere, hippo-like Gronckles pick drying racks clean of fish and fly off like loaded pelicans.

HICCUP (V.O.) (CONT'D) Gronckles are tough. Taking down one of those would definitely get me a girlfriend.

Astrid punched him on his arm. "Girls don't need you to kill things to get their attention, moron!" She said this with some affection, before placing a kiss on his cheek. "Though it's nice to know that you try."

Hiccup looked at Toothless with a WTF? expression.

The Gronkle present looked pleased with itself, knowing that it was worth something.

A stealthy, snake-like dragon head peeks over a rooftop, breathing gas into a chimney.

HICCUP (V.O.) (CONT'D) A Zippelback? Exotic, exciting. Two heads, twice the status.

The two heads of the Zippelback looked up, interested. Twice the status, huh?

A second head pokes through the door and lights it. KABLAM! The two heads fly through the explosion, their necks zipping together to reveal a single body. It flies past Stoick as he climbs to the top of a CATAPULT TOWER.

CATAPULT OPERATOR They found the sheep!

STOICK (FRUSTRATED) Concentrate fire over the lower bank!

CATAPULT OPERATOR Fire!

Boulders are catapulted at the corralling Nadders... Just as a huge red dragon whips past, spraying the base of the catapult with sticky fire.

HICCUP (V.O.)

And then there's the Monstrous Nightmare. Only the best Vikings go after those. They have this nasty habit of setting themselves on fire.

The Monstrous Nightmare in the room gave a wicked grin, but realized that it could not set itself on fire, probably having to do with the enchantments that the Ridley girl mentioned.

It emerges from the flames, climbing the catapult with a leering, toothy grin.

STOICK Reload! I'll take care of this.

Stoick takes on the Nightmare, face to hammer.

Suddenly, a LOUD BALLISTIC MOANING streaks overhead. The catapult crew ducks.

Toothless sat up a little straighter and puffed out his chest, recognizing his call.

INT. BLACKSMITH STALL - CONTINUOUS

ON HICCUP, looking up from his work, reacting to the same sound.

HICCUP (V.O.)

But the ultimate prize is the dragon no one has ever seen. We call it the-

VIKING Night Fury! Get down!

Vikings everywhere take shelter. The moaning sound BUILDS.

EXT. VILLAGE - CATAPULT - CONTINUOUS

The Monstrous Nightmare suddenly stops fighting and takes

flight. Stoick looks skyward.

STOICK: JUMP!

KABOOM! The Catapult EXPLODES as though hit by an artillery

shell... sending Stoick and the crew leaping for their lives.

HICCUP (V.O.) This thing never steals food, never shows itself, and...

The sound recedes, leaving the crippled catapult in flames.

HICCUP (V.O.) (CONT'D) ...never misses.

(BEAT)

No one has ever killed a Night Fury. That's why I'm going to be the first.

IN THE STALL

Gobber trades his hammer for an axe.

GOBBER

Man the fort, Hiccup, they need me out there!

Gobber pauses. Turns with a threatening glare.

GOBBER (CONT'D)

Stay. Put. There. You know what I mean.

Gobber charges into the fray, HOLLERING.

ON HICCUP, a smirk crosses his face.

EXT. VILLAGE - MOMENTS LATER

WHAM! Hiccup pushes his wheeled contraption through a wall of clustered Vikings. He weaves through the ongoing mayhem, as fast as his legs can carry him.

VIKING #6 (O.S.) Hiccup, where are you going!

VIKING #7 Come back here!

HICCUP I know. Be right back!

Stoick shook his head. Hiccup would never listen.

ON THE PLAIN BELOW

The Nadders have cornered the house-full of sheep. They close in, ready to spring upon them.

Stoick suddenly appears, HURLING FISHING NETS over them. The surprised Nadders are caught. Stoick and his men rush in.

A Nadder blasts a hole through its net. Stoick leaps onto it, clamping his thick arms around its head, forcing its jaws shut.

STOICK Mind yourselves! The devils still have some juice in them.

ON THE PLAIN ABOVE

Hiccup reaches a cliff overlooking the smoking CATAPULT and drops the handles to the ground. He cranks several levers, unfolding and then cocking the bowed arms of his contraption. He drops a bola onto a chamber and then pivots the weapon on a gimbal head toward the dark sky. He listens, with his eye pressed to the scope, hand poised on the trigger. He hears the NIGHT FURY approaching... and turns his aim to the defense tower. It closes in for the final strike, completely camouflaged in the night.

HICCUP (TO HIMSELF) Come on. Give me something to shoot at, give me something to shoot at.

KABLAM! The tower topples. The blast of fire illuminates the

dragon for a split second. Hiccup pulls the trigger.

KERTHUNK! The flexed arms SNAP forward, springing the weapon

off the ground. The bola disappears into the sky, followed by

a WHACK and a SCREECH.

More surprise for the group of Vikings. "Good fer you, son!" Stoick bellowed. He had absolutely no idea why Hiccup was glaring at him.

HICCUP (CONT'D) (surprised, then elated) Oh I hit it! Yes, I hit it! Did anybody see that?

Hiccup's victory is short-lived. A Monstrous Nightmare appears, slithering up over the lip of the cliff.

HICCUP (CONT'D) Except for you.

A weak chuckle escaped many people's lips. They knew Hiccup would be alright, but it was amusing to see his dry humor even in such a dangerous situation.

They prepared themselves for the next scene.

Ridley: I would appreciate it if you left what you thought in the reviews. I know it was semi-short, but I was REALLY tired while typing it, and didn't want to deal with formatting and stuff.

Dragon: And you're really lazy.

Ridley: Agreed. Oh, and Dragon?

Dragon: Yes...?

Ridley: I hope you like your stay in the Pit of Doom!

Dragon: NNNNNNOOOOOO!