a/n: Sorry that it took me so long and for this short chapter. This is me basically just saying Hi to you all. I'm not dead, so this story isn't, too.

Hello Meemy-chan, Nissaw, and Hoseokshi! I hope this chap makes you a little happier.

Realize

The next morning, Sakura was determined to leave the house as early as she could. She had decided to leave, and although she'd realized it was a bit of a premature decision, she'd realized she actually had to start the preparations for it. And the first step would always be something as concrete as a slow detachment. She didn't even need to ignore him deliberately because he'd always do something to counter it; she just needed to make it seem like their schedules couldn't just coincide. Or something.

She smirked at her little victory when as she quietly descended the steps, she saw that none of the lights were on. It was only five in the morning anyway.

But usually, he'd be up by this time, and she almost failed to squash that part of her which was starting to worry because what if he couldn't get up in time because he was assaulted by his nightmares again and there was no one he could turn to that night because she was in another room and he was so alone and hurting and -

She promptly slapped her face to jolt herself into reality. He wasn't up yet because just like any working man, he was dead tired, and he wasn't in any obligation to wake himself up at such an ungodly hour when his working hours wouldn't be until three hours later and when, given his status and position, he actually had a much more flexible schedule.

However, as she was making her way to the door, she felt a sharp abdominal sensation. She managed to grab the back of a chair to steady herself but had to release it when another dash of pain shot through her and she had to slide down onto the floor and bend over, pressing a hand onto her abdomen. She took quick breaths to calm herself down even though cold beads of perspiration were already rolling down the sides of her face.

She then heard a quick shuffling of feet with the lights switching on in succession, and he was at her side before she could even turn her head.

"Sakura!"

Sasuke cradled her into his arms as he lifted her and laid her on the sofa. He then knelt beside her, his voice hoarse and from up close, she could also see sweat glistening on his face.

"Are you okay? Should we go to the hospital?"

His eyes darted around her body and especially lingering on her bump before he gently stroked it with his thumb.

"Is our child okay?"

She could feel it coming. But she tried to speak with a levelled voice.

"Hmm—mm," she nodded, "This is natural. We're okay."

And without warning, she started crying. She didn't know why exactly. But her damn tears wouldn't just stop flowing.

Seeing her suddenly cry launched Sasuke into another fit of panic. He was already berating himself for not waking up early. If not for that screeching, heavy sound he had heard from below, his senses wouldn't even have been coaxed out of slumber. He hated himself for even giving in to exhaustion.

But now that she was crying despite telling him that everything was normal – supposedly – he didn't know what else to do. He figured he should probably start reading maternity books and ask Kakashi for some valid help.

So, he held her even when he was unsure if she'd allow him to because that was the only way he could comfort them both. He gently wiped away her tears and sat beside her, embracing her onto his lap and lightly patting her arm. Her face was nestled against the crook of his neck, and she felt so light, and he wished they could stay like this forever.

He wished it hadn't taken him so long to hold her like this every minute that he could. She had stood so close before, and he just stood there, even pushed her away, and now, she was slipping out of his reach day by day.

His warmth furthered triggered her unnecessary breakdown. She supposed it was part of her pregnancy, being emotional on random occasions or maybe because just when she was so hellbent on detaching herself from him, he'd do things like this and make her question her decisions. She wished there was a switch inside her which she could automatically pull down when she needed to force down her barriers on him.

"Let me drive you to the hospital," he said when he felt her breathing stable.

He felt her head shaking and just sighed.

"Thought so. I'll just follow you then."

He looked at her, and with such proximity, his intense stare just dulled her senses altogether. She noted the fresh bags under his eyes.

"You look tired yourself. Did you . . . have another nightmare?"

The words were out before she could even process her thoughts. But Sasuke's widening eyes and her fingertips touching his cheek finally made her aware of what she had just said and done. She struggled to rise to her feet, but she managed somehow, and retreated from him, disoriented at the same time.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up. I'm so sorry."

She grabbed for her bag which was still lying on the floor before running out, her resolve quickly dissolving once more.

…

Thankfully, she wasn't given much time to ponder on what happened that morning because she had to attend to two emergencies, and by the time she got back to her clinic, there was already a long queue of kids with their moms waiting. It must be the flu season again, she surmised. She felt a bit dizzy probably because she hadn't eaten anything sufficient yet except for two bananas which she hastily grabbed from the cafeteria, but she proceeded to get her tools ready and asked her receptionist to call on the first on the list.

She had finished her shift an hour after lunch, and by then, she was completely starving. She decided to head to the cafeteria but had to stop when she saw a mom with her toddler walking by. They weren't familiar faces, but she couldn't help smiling at the sight of the adorable toddler who was firmly holding her mother's hand. The little girl then looked at her and distractedly dropped her teddy bear. Sakura was quick to pick it up and hand it to her.

"Here you go, sweetie."

The girl's mom smiled and politely nodded at her which she returned.

"Your daughter has such cute, bouncy curls."

"Thank you. She might have inherited it from her father."

The lady then gave a small delightful gasp. "Oh, could it be that you're also expecting a girl?"

She blushed. "I'm not yet sure. But . . . that'd be great," she smiled shyly.

They continued with their quick chat, with the little girl whose name she learned was Kaori sitting on her lap as she and Kaori's mom talked about pregnancy and motherhood. It was only when the lady's phone rang that they ended the conversation.

"Sorry. We need to go. My husband's picking us up. I hope to see you and your baby soon, Haruno-san."

"Thank you. I'll see you around." She smiled then bent down to the toddler's level and ruffled her hair. "Bye-bye Kao-chan!"

The little girl just beamed at her and lightly touched her face before tugging hard at her mom's hand, probably willing her to start moving and at which both Sakura and her mom just laughed.

As she watched them leave, Sakura was waving at Kaori who was also enthusiastically waving back until they finally turned at a corner. Sakura herself was just about to turn towards a corner to go to the cafeteria when Gaara came into view, his lips twitching into a wide smile when he saw her.

"I'm glad I found you. I bought us some lunch," he said then paused. "Can I invite you to join me?"

He was smiling, but she could sense a bit of hesitancy, and she knew why.

"Sure! I'm starving myself, so perfect timing!" she chirped before leading the way to the hospital's garden.

He bought her sandwich and salad and even apologized for his choice because he said he wasn't really sure what she'd like on top of deciding which food he shouldn't be getting for pregnant women, but she just waved his worries off humorously.

"You don't need to be so worried! I basically eat everything. I'm pretty sure you know that we, pregnant women, just have this enormous appetite, don't you?"

He engaged her for a bit before his laugh slowly fizzled out, and Sakura knew this was indication for her to start explaining things. To be honest, she wasn't prepared to talk to him about it yet because she didn't know where to start, but she was also feeling guilty about the whole situation, and he was such a caring friend he didn't deserve any of this.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you before. . ."

He smiled tautly. "Well, you didn't have any reason to."

She countered quickly.

"You're my friend, Gaara-kun! And I have every reason to tell you, but it's just . . . it's just that there are things I'd rather not explain. . ." she said softly, looking down at her lap.

"I've noticed your condition. I've just been waiting for you to tell me about it, so I'd also know where to stand."

She looked up, confused. "What do you mean?"

His eyes met hers briefly before turning away, taking interest at their surroundings.

"I've told you about my transfer to Suna – "

"Wait, you said you were still thinking about it!"

He smiled. "I just accepted it."

Sakura was silent for a while, not really knowing where this conversation was going. But she felt a stab of pain to have heard him say he'd be leaving soon.

"I was thinking of asking you to come with me."

Her eyes grew wide as she caught on to his meaning.

"I'm sorry, Sakura. You're a dear friend to me, too, but I thought I stood a chance," he said, looking at her again and smiling sadly. "And sorry for springing this up on you now."

Sakura didn't know what to say. She'd never noticed nor had she even considered the possibility of things turning out this way between them. After all, he was like the best friend she'd never had. She was surprised, to say the least, but not upset. In fact, she just felt even guiltier than ever and felt ashamed of herself for unconsciously having allowed things to come to this.

"No, I should be the one saying sorry. I'm sorry I've dragged you into this mess," she all but whispered in mortification.

"This is a bit shameful to ask, but. . .can we still be friends?"

She looked up instantly. "Of course, why not! And I know you're leaving and all, but please keep in touch, and I'll visit Suna as often as I can!"

Gaara just chuckled. "But you shouldn't be traveling around with your current condition, Sakura. I'll do the visiting this time."

She just smiled. "Okay!"

And suddenly, just like that, the air between then was cleared, and it felt normal again like nothing unusual had even transpired nor swayed their friendship. She happily let out a huge sigh of relief.

"I think I should properly apologize to Uchiha-san as well. I might have given him the wrong idea when I stepped in – "

"No. Please don't worry about it. He might be the father of my child, but we're not really together. Besides, there was nothing to misunderstand, right? And if there was, he didn't have the right to misunderstand."

She was surprised at how she could've said that smoothly and with such point-blank coldness as if it was the natural state of things which never even bother her. Not even in the least bit.

To her further surprise though, he just laughed.

"That was the first time I heard you being so cold, Sakura. It was uncharacteristic of you." Then, in his usual serious tone, he added, "You could always talk to me about it."

She, in turn, just smiled faintly to put an end to the topic.

"When are you leaving?"

"I still have to finish some business here but maybe in two weeks?"

"That's too soon!"

"Don't worry about it. It's not like we'll never see each other again, and if I remember correctly, just a while ago, you said to keep in touch."

She pouted and laughed. "Yes, that's a promise!"

They then decided to chatter away about the less complicated things as she continued to finish her meal with Gaara even handing her his sandwich and over which they had a little argument but in the end, just had a good laugh about it, with the sandwich now resting on Sakura's lap.

…

When Sakura left that morning, Sasuke hastily followed and had a 10-minute debate with himself whether to go inside or just stay in his car. But he really wanted to see her, to see for himself that she was okay. He tried hard not to be seen, and maybe it was also because Sakura was too busy to be paying too much attention to her surroundings. He couldn't believe she had to attend to several patients right after dealing with two successive emergencies. He had half a mind to get her her favorite Caesar salad and just unceremoniously barge into her clinic to drop it off. But he knew Sakura wouldn't like that, so he just patiently waited until she finished and thought of inviting her for lunch.

He knew he should be at the office because none of his two trusted comrades could be there as of the moment, but he reasoned with himself that he deserved this break. After all, he was able to bring back some successful deals from his business trip.

After four long hours of waiting at a seat not too visible from the door of her clinic, he thought he'd finally gotten the chance to talk to her when she emerged from her clinic. Just that he was beaten to it by a mere . . .toddler. He wouldn't deny though that he had also enjoyed seeing Sakura's expressions as she interacted with the little girl. Seeing the toddler laugh with Sakura was such an arresting sight, and he allowed himself to smile when he briefly pictured himself laughing with her and their soon-to-be little one.

But all these pleasant, warm feelings were displaced by anger when Gaara played into the scene, and Sakura clearly had no trouble entertaining him. He could only watch them from afar, but even without hearing their conversation, he knew that Sakura was having fun, that they were happy together.

And all of a sudden, he wasn't angry anymore.

To attribute the pain to the feeling of jealousy and possessiveness over her wouldn't really justify what Sasuke was currently feeling. He felt his body go numb as he'd finally come to admit to himself that maybe it was just too late for him to fix everything and make her happy. He had had his chances for so many times before, and he threw them all away.

More than this, however, the shattering he was feeling could only be due to the realization that Sakura, this smiling, carefree Sakura might never be his to hold again.

…

Tbc.

(That scene with Kaori-chan was suggested by a reader from a long time ago.

11/14: Today's my mom's death anniversary and I needed an outlet. I tried. This is probably my way of remembering. Oh, and it's the 14th chapter!)