Summary

Ichigo, Rukia and Shiro are sharing an apartment as roommates. It'd be completely 100% peaceful, right?

A phone book, a bored Shiro and Rukia, and an unsuspecting Ichigo. What happens next? oneshot

Author's note

Don't own Bleach or the idea to this story. I found a chat forum thing discussing the outcomes of Shiro, Ichigo and Rukia rooming together and this is what I came up with. Read and review

"Hey Ru~kia," Shiro drawls out mischievously. She looks up from her drawing of Chappy the rabbit.

"What now Shiro?" she replies with a sigh. "Don't you have something better to do than annoy me? Go pester Ichigo." She continues with her drawing.

Tch, Shiro thinks, I would but he locked himself in his room.

An idea comes to him. "Rukia-chan," he says again, more insistently. "Wanna have some fun?" She ignores him. "It involves getting Ichigo in trooouublee~" he adds. Rukia stops her drawing and raises an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Go on."

A malevolent grin spreads slowly over Shiro's features.

"Do you have your brother's phone number?" he asks.

She looks at him, confused. "Yes, but how is that—"

He covers her mouth with a snow-white hand. "Here's what we're gonna do…"

Rukia holds the phone up to her ear nervously, listening to the steady dial tone. Byakuya picks up.

"Moshi moshi. This is Kuchiki Byakuya speaking," comes the static voice.

Oh god, she doesn't know what to say. Shiro had said to say something insulting, but Rukia can't say such a disrespectful thing to her older brother! Finally she says, "…Um…err…have a good evening, Nii-sama!" She hangs up, shaking slightly.

Shiro just stares at her, dumbfounded. "What was that? That was so lame! Gimme the phone." He snatches it out of her hand. "I'll show you how the pro's do it." He dials the number again.

The phone rings again and after a long sigh, Byakuya answers.

"Moshi moshi. This is Kuchiki Byaku—" He's cut off by a male voice.

A series of insults are issued and the caller hangs up.

Byakuya stares at the phone, trying to keep his temper under control under his cool façade.

He checks the caller ID: Kurosaki Ichigo. He dials the number.

"And that, my dear Rukia, is how you do it," Shiro says with a chuckle. She stares at him for a moment, either in awe or horror, he's not sure. But then she explodes in a fit of laughter and they're both cacking themselves laughing.

"Ichi…go is so….screwed," she manages to gasp between breaths.

"Imagine…his face!"

The phone rings. They look at each other, then towards Ichigo's room, evil grins plastered across their faces. They creep up to Ichigo's door and wait in anticipation.

The phone rings, waking Ichigo up from his nap. He shakes his head and blinks groggily at the phone. He picks it up.

"Yo," he answers sleepily.

"Kurosaki Ichigo," a familiar icy voice replies. It's Byakuya, Ichigo realises.

"Speaking."

"Ichigo. I have caller ID. That was incredibly idiotic, even for you."

"Wait, hold up—"

"When I said I would allow my sister to be your roommate I did not expect you to lead her down such a path of wanton misbehaviour and delinquency."

"What—"

"I expect to see you at the training grounds so I can teach you some respect for the Kuchiki name."

"Wait, Byakuya—"

He hangs up.

Rukia and Shiro struggle to hold in their giggles, and are fighting a losing battle. They explode in laughter. Rukia manages to crawl back to the kitchen table, looking for her address book.

Ichigo flings open his door to the snickering Shiro.

"You! What did you do, prank call him?" He's answered with another outburst of laughing from Shiro.

"Maybe Renji would appreciate a late-night call…?" Rukia ponders.

Shiro rolls his eyes. "MISSING THE POINT," Shiro yells in her direction.

Ichigo shifts his glare between the two miscreants. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!" he screams.

~Fin~

xD how waz that? Review :)