The room is crowded with chattering people sitting at their tables. Forks and knives are scraping noisily against plates. The place is so full of people that it was just so, so easy to get in. Nobody has even noticed the two unfamiliar guests who were seated in the ceremony and were now just about to enter the reception. These two were like flies on walls - somehow they always managed to go unseen. They were professionals.

"Do I really have to do this?" Ally questioned, a pout on her lips as Austin was finishing the final touches on her new look.

"Trust me, it's gonna work." Austin replied, peeking over her shoulder to give Ally his look of pure confidence.

"This is the dumbest idea you've ever had," Ally grumbled, shuffling her feet.

"No, this is the greatest idea I've ever had," he smirked before he stepped away from her. He reached into one of the plastic bags and tugged out a purple dress. "Purple has always been your color."

Ally glared at him and snatched the dress from his hands. She looked it over and decided that it wasn't as bad as she thought it might've been. She bit her lip. "Can I still wear my Chuck's?"

Austin rolled his eyes, "Fuck, I don't care, just put this on!" he said, impatiently. Ally shook her head at him and slipped into the dress. Austin helped her zip up the back and then Ally jumped up on the sink so Austin could put on her shoes considering the lump that was now in her midsection refused to let her bend over. When Austin had her black, worn down Chuck Taylor's all tied up, Ally jumped down from the counter. Austin took a giant step back to look at her.

"Well, would you look at that," Austin said, giving her a grin, "The pregnant look suits you."

"It does not!" Ally growled, hitting him with her purple clutch. Austin forced her arms down to her sides.

"Adorable. Absolutely adorable." he said, smirking. Ally stomped her foot, resisting the urge to start yelling at him. "Now, get out there and do your job and do it good!" he told her. Ally sighed and started leaving the washroom. Austin smacked her butt as she started walking - well, waddling.

"Austin!" she hissed, sending him an angry look before she walked out completely and began to do her job. She stepped into the reception hall where she was greeted with the loud yet gentle chattering of the guests. She spotted the bride and groom sitting at the head table, giggling and smiling with one another. Ally scans the room and sees the table of gifts not too far from her. "Okay," she whispers to herself.

Ally works a sweet smile onto her lips as she waddles further inside. Ally decided this really was the dumbest idea Austin's ever had because this was very uncomfortable. Not like Austin would know anything about it, she's the "pregnant" one, not him!

She casually stands next to the table full of gifts, already daydreaming about what those gifts could be. A few people give her casual glances. Ally looks around casually. She waits a couple moments before she glances over at the door and sees Austin peering inside. He gives her the look.

Ally nods once at him and then turns away. She glances around and makes sure no one is looking. She reaches across a table and starts to pour water in front of her on the ground, faking her water breaking. Ally takes a lungful of air and then shouts loudly, "Oh, Dear God!" The attention is immediately directed on her as she cups the bloated belly with both hands. "Oh, my God! Oh, God! Oh, man, Okay, okay. Shit, I think...I think I've gone into labor!" she shouts dramatically.

Gasps are heard and a few people leap up from their chairs to attend to Ally who is still shouting out in pain, cursing at the heaven's. Austin runs a hand through his hair smoothly. He inhales then exhales. He suddenly comes running into the reception hall.

"Oh, dear, Tammy!" he shouts, eyes wide with apparent horror, "What's wrong?" he pretends to get a better look at her before he touches his forehead with his palm and takes a deep breath, "Are you fucking kidding me?!" he shouts at her. "This isn't happening! Not here, not now! I'm not ready to be a father! This is...oh my God...Getting dizzy...feeling lightheaded..." Austin dramatically collapses on the table, ignoring the pain he felt in his side when the table collapses with him. "Shit," he whispers to himself, cringing.

"Oh, no! Jim!" Ally shrieked, pretending that her breathing was labored as she did so.

Shouts were heard all over the reception hall. A few of the guests were too shocked to do anything and others were rushing to help Austin and others were still attending to Ally. Austin carefully peaks one eye open and gives Ally a look before faking his fainting spell again. Ally gasps and lets out a blood curdling scream, dropping onto her knees for a more dramatic effect. "Lord have mercy on me!" she howled loudly.

The attention that had been getting to Austin was immediately directed to Ally as they ushered her to breathe and mentioned that somebody had called the ambulance. While the attention was still on his partner in crime, Austin manages to sneak a few presents under his jacket.

"Oh, God..." Ally moaned, rubbing the bloated belly. Ally kept glancing over at Austin, mentally yelling at him to hurry up. Suddenly, Austin shoots up from the floor. He pretends to still be a little unbalanced as he stumbles towards Ally.

"Tammy! Babe!" he shouts, pretending to be frantic as he shoves somebody to the side. He gets down next to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulder. "Come on! I'll help you to the car!"

"Oh, it's alright, Sir, we called the ambulance," said a polite guest.

Austin gives him a dark look, "Did I ask you to call the fucking ambulance?" Austin hissed, his voice pouring like acid.

"Well...No, but she's in a lot of pain and we-"

"Are you telling me I'm not capable of taking my fucking pregnant wife to the fucking hospital? It's my fucking child, not fucking yours!" Austin growled at the guest, removing his arms from Ally and shoving the guest.

Ally tried not to roll her eyes because it was typical of Austin to want to start a fight for fun. It was nearly starting to become a routine at these weddings. Austin was a trained fighter and often loved to throw a few punches to impress the ladies. (It's doesn't work.) She recalled telling him several times that he can't go around hitting people just because he wants to make some cool memories. Ally gripped Austin's arm, getting his attention, "Jim! It's happening now!" she roared at him. Austin jumped up to his feet, scooping Ally into his arms.

"Let's go have our baby, baby!" he shouted. Just because Ally felt like she deserved a round of applause, she let out one last cry for God's mercy before they were finally out of the reception hall. When they were no longer in sight of anyone, Austin dropped Ally to the ground and the two booked it out of there as fast as their legs could go.

In mid-run, Ally unstrapped the pregnancy suit from her midsection and tugged it off her body. When they made it to the car, Ally opened the backdoor and tossed in the suit before jumping into the passenger side. She was relieved to have the suit off of her, it was heavy and uncomfortable.

Austin slammed his door shut and exhaled. Ally looked over at him with a glower. Austin felt her stare and looked at her, giving her an odd look. "Tammy? Fucking Tammy? You named me Tammy?"

"Don't be snooty, you named me Jim." Austin retorted.

"Only because you named me Tammy!" Ally exclaimed. Austin rolled his eyes. He heard the sound of an ambulances sirens and immediately put the car into reverse, pulling out of the parking lot. He shifted the gear into drive and they took off down the street.

"I have to hand it to you, Ally, you make a mean pregnant woman," Austin told her.

"Mean? Do you mean, mean as in, like, mean-mean? Or mean as in I did a good job? Or did you-"

"Ally, Take the damn compliment." he told her. Ally smirked and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

"Well, you know, I aced Drama class all throughout high school," she said.

Austin frowned. "What? No, you didn't. Ally, I was there. You failed drama. All four years of it." Austin replied. Ally waved her hand dismissively and searched through the bag for the six gifts that Austin had managed to snatch. Ally ripped open the first gift: It was three Clear Blue pregnancy tests. Ally cringed in disgust and tossed them into the back seat. The second gift was a scrapbook. Ally glowered at it. The third gift was a picture frame with fancy writing that read Mr. And Mrs. Lame, Ally thought. The fourth gift was a mug with the Bride and Groom's faces on it. Ally looked at it oddly. All she knew was that if anyone were to give her that kind of gift on her wedding day, she'd break them. Fifth gift: An encouraging card from hallmark with a gift card to the theatre. Ally should hang onto that. The sixth gift: A diamond necklace with today's date on it. Her eyes widened.

"A necklace," Ally murmured.

"Oh, great. We'll just stock up on some jewelry so you can feel fancy." Austin said, sarcastically. He muttered something incoherent under his breath that Ally didn't quite catch.

Ally smacked his arm, making him wince. "It's a diamond necklace, you stupid idiot! We can trade this in for money!"

"Money? Give it to me!" Austin ripped the dangling necklace out of Ally's fingertips.

"Finders keepers!" Ally growled, reaching for it, but Austin held it out of her grasp while still managing to keep his eyes on the road.

"I'm the reason we have this," Austin retorted.

Ally looked at him with incredulity dancing in her gaze. "You're the reason? I just faked going into labor in front of hundreds of people! If anything, I'm the reason we have that damn necklace!"

"You don't deserve the money," Austin shot back.

"I don't deserve the money?" Ally gawked, "You don't deserve it, you tard! I do everything for you! Every wedding we run to, I'm always doing your dirty work while you hit on hot girls! This should be my reward for putting up with you!"

"Putting up with me?" Austin scoffed, "Please, don't pretend like you don't want me. I hear you moaning my name in your sleep, Ally."

"Oh, what's that? I can't hear you over the sound of your big fucking ego!" Ally growled before she finally reached over in front of him and snatched the necklace.

Austin's eyes widened as the car swerved. "Ally!" he snarled, clutching the wheel tightly. Ally held the necklace tightly in her fist, silently declaring that she receives the money. The car fell silent as Ally observed the sparkling diamonds and Austin stared straight ahead. He slowly glanced over at Ally. "You know," he started, "You never did deny-"

"I'm sorry, do you value your dignity?" Ally questioned.

"I'm done." Austin resigned, knowing that if he didn't stop, Ally would probably string him over the telephone lines most likely after cutting him to pieces. He doesn't doubt that she'd do it either. He's known the girl since he was four.

"That's what I thought," Ally replied.

"You know, I really wouldn't mind friends with ben-"

"Austin," Ally hissed.

"Okay...Now, I'm done." he assured her, giving her a nervous smile and silently thanking God that she hadn't already clocked him one in the head already.

They made it to the motel and jumped out of the car. Austin grabbed Ally's arm and attempted to snatch the necklace. "Nope! Nope! Nope!" Ally chanted, ripping herself away from him and running ahead. She waited outside the motel door as Austin slowly approached and opened the motel door and walked in. Ally's mouth dropped open. "Austin! You didn't lock the door?!"

Austin laughed slightly, "Oh, that's what you were waiting for? I thought you were trying to seduce a bug or something."

"A bug?" Ally narrowed her eyes.

Austin sucked a deep breath in with his teeth, "Yeah...You're not so great at looking sexy."

"You just said you wouldn't mind friends with benefits," Ally replied.

"I don't recall." Austin said smugly, throwing himself onto the bed.

Ally was still appalled to find out that he hadn't locked the motel door. "Austin, you seriously didn't lock our door?" she asked.

"Well, I didn't see the point. I would've lost the key and then we would've never gotten back in here." Austin said.

"We could've gotten robbed," Ally replied, "Somebody could've just walked in here and taken anything!"

"But they didn't," Austin said, gesturing around before he sat up and said, "Besides, who would've wanted to take anything from us? We're fucking losers."

"You still should've locked it!" Ally tossed a jacket at him. Austin observed the jacket before setting it aside.

"Again, I would've lost the key." Austin said.

"Where did you leave the key?" Ally questioned, glancing around before seeing it on the table. She snatched the key. "I'll hold onto this."

"Be my guest. I didn't want it anyways." Austin said. Ally shook her head and walked into the bathroom where she stripped out of her dress and changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants. "So what do you say about splitting the money on that diamond necklace? It looks expensive. I like expensive."

"Dream on." Ally said, relaxing into her bed and closing her eyes. "Besides, you got all the money from the last wedding we crashed."

"It was well earned," replied Austin.

"You slept with a prostitute." Ally deadpanned.

"Exactly."

"You're disgusting."

First chapter to a story I'm not very sure about, but decided to post anyways. Yes, this story is AU and very OOC. I am also rating it T for the use of bad language. Yes, it's short because all of my first chapters are short. Reminder: Reviews are very rad.