I'd Like For Us To Be Friends

Kaori walked down the street lightly, a skip in her step. She was happy, her mind finally free of tension and stress. Over the past few weeks, she had been dismayed, watching the relationship between Hase-kun and her slowly deteriorate. She couldn't do anything about it though: you need two people to start a relationship, to keep it going. You needed to people to be friends. Two people to fight, or even… court. Hase-kun had stopped trying to be her friend, and they had ceased to become more than acquaintances, much less friends.

All the while, Kaori hoped that they could reverse this, or change things back to the way they were, even if she didn't quite remember how they were before. Her diary helped with that though. Kaori tried her best to connect with him again, to befriend him again, like he had done for her so many times, but Hase-kun seemed to have made up his mind to stop his efforts, even if it was for her.

Kaori watched Hase-kun from behind, his legs longer than hers, so Kaori was always a few steps behind. With a pout, she hurried her pace up to match his, to walk by his side. Hase-kun's ears were growing red, Kaori noticed. It was a cold day, after all. Maybe even his thick furry coat might not be enough to keep him warm. Now that Kaori thought about it, the cold stung her exposed fingers, making her shiver.

Kaori had to admit: even if she forgot the boy over and over again, he still made a lasting impression on her, regardless of how he acted. Hase-kun looked cute too, his pale complexion reddening in the cold, or perhaps, something else. Could it be happiness that brought this redness, this rouge to his cheeks? Kaori hoped so, for the boy had had to endure much over the months they had been with each other. Kaori was almost envious of his persistence, as she had long since given up on the idea of having friends before meeting him, due to her unique condition.

On that train of thought, Kaori's mood shifted. No longer was she thinking about the wonderful day she'd had with the boy, but of the fact it would be forgotten. Kaori would forget him again, and there was nothing she could do about it. She wouldn't even remember what she felt today, aside from a paltry description, and a few written words. Kaori felt tears come to her eyes, but she rubbed them away, not wanting Hase-kun to get the wrong impression.

"Ah, this way right?" Hase-kun asked, turning to face her. Kaori glanced both ways, smiling lightly, but shook her head as a no.

"There's another way." Kaori pointed in another direction, towards a side street. On it was a small shrine she used to visit periodically during elementary school, since it was on the way there. "It's not much farther, but I-I want to show you something." Since it was New Year's, it might be a good time to visit.

"Oh, alright." Hase-kun smiled back, and pivoted to face the way Kaori pointed. With a brisk pace, the duo started moving once again, light conversation occasionally breaking the silence. They talked about anything and everything, from the crepes, the wax paper that Hase-kun had 'accidentally' eaten, to school even.

Kaori glanced towards the signpost, visible from across the street, and the two simultaneously became silent as they crossed the road. Hase-kun was still ahead of her, and Kaori watched a car whiz by, staring at a peculiarly large splotch of white feces on the blue paint, when she heard a scream. At the time, Kaori hadn't realized who it was, nor what the words screamed were, but moments after, a pair of fleshy hands plowed into her, sending her falling backwards onto her bum, a complaint on her tongue, mind wondering what had just happened.

That is, until Kaori saw the blood. A car, the front splattered with the stuff, screeched to a halt upon grisly impact. Hase-kun was on the ground unmoving, bloody and bruised. The reality of the situation sunk in, and Kaori realized what had happened. Hase-kun had been hit. And it was her fault, all her fault. She was to blame for Hase-kun's predicament, unmoving on the cold concrete, his vital liquid gushing out. Her fault she hadn't paid more attention. Her fault he might die.

"Hase-kun!" Kaori shrieked, staring at the limp body of her friend, before sinking to her knees. Her heartbeat sped up, eyes wide with fear. Blood was everywhere, but that wasn't important. She didn't know how to stop it. How to save him. She couldn't do anything for him, and yet she called him her friend. Tears spilled down her face like a faucet, the hot liquid spilling onto the snow, mixing with the spreading blood.

"Oh scheisse. Scheisse scheisse scheisse." Kaori couldn't understand the unfamiliar words, but they were rushed and the speaker was clearly panicking. A middle-aged man stumbled out of the car, struggling to find his footing. Kaori could smell the stench of alcohol coming off of him, and it didn't help that he kept a half finished bottle of the stuff in his one hand. He stared at Hase-kun for a bit, chanting the unfamiliar word, before fleeing the scene.

"Help!" Kaori screamed, hoping for aid, for anyone who could save Hase-kun's life. Anyone. She screamed again, her willpower slowly draining away. Kaori didn't know first aid procedures; she never expected that she would need them at the age of seventeen. Her lack of knowledge could mean Hase-kun's death, a friend's death. Kaori's hopes rose when she saw a car come around the bend, skidding to a stop upon seeing the scene, a brunette hastily getting out.

"Help…" Kaori called out, tears blurring her vision to the point which she couldn't clearly see who was coming. The figure broke out into a run, heading straight for her.

"Kaori!" An all too familiar voice cried out, embracing the young girl. "Thank goodness you're safe." The shock made her freeze up, still panicking about Hase-kun's condition.

"M-mom?" Kaori stuttered, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. Her mom broke the embrace almost as suddenly as she started it, and immediately took out her cell phone to dial 119. Kaori watched in silence, all the while cradling the motionless Hase-kun. She took deep breaths, trying to calm herself down, while ever so happy that her mom had come to help. But that didn't mean Kaori still wasn't at fault.

If only she had never been careless.

If only she had looked both ways.

If only she had walked faster.

If only she had gone the short route.

If only.

Kaori felt a new surge of tears come, her mother back to trying to comfort her, but to no avail. Her thoughts cycled through her mind, endlessly looping the torturous words. That she was responsible for the accident. That it was all, every single bit of it, a result of her actions. That she was a murderer. Her breathing sped up, her heart pounding in place, shuddering in her mom's arms.

…

Kaori awoke a good twenty minutes later, her mom relieved to see her up and about. They said that she had collapsed due to stress, and the paramedics took her along with Hase-kun, and that they had managed to prolong his life. He was still in critical condition, and he required multiple surgeries, but they said he had a fair chance of living. Kaori let out an exhausted breath, feeling so taxed, yet having done so little.

"He'll be alright, don't worry." Kaori's mother reassured her, though they both knew she was lying. No one was 'alright' after being hit by a car. No one. Kaori shuddered again, unable to shake off the notion that something had gone wrong, aside from the car accident. Something would fail, would crash and burn. Her mother embraced her once more, yet Kaori still feared the day she would be right.

Regardless, it was a relief to know that Hase-kun would likely live, that she hadn't sent one of her first friends on a death sentence. It eased the guilt somewhat, knowing that she may not be a murderer, but perhaps just a criminal. Tears threatened to break out once more, but Kaori closed her eyes, resting in her mother's embrace, who hummed a gentle rhythm, like grass swaying in the wind.

…

By the end of the day, the paramedics had stated that Hase-kun was no longer in a state at which he might die. Kaori was relieved, almost happy, if not for the fact that she had caused his injury. Still, it provided a sense of security to know that Hase-kun hadn't died by her hands. Kaori cried herself to sleep that night though, guilt overwhelming her in the darkness. It was all Kaori could write about in her diary, the guilt, the fear, and the worry.

Word of the incident soon spread, and many friends came to visit Kaori's house to comfort her, as someone who witnessed the bloody horror. Though inwardly glad that others had come, Kaori silently turned them away, making it known that she did not wish to speak of the topic. Kaori tried not to speak on the topic, almost wondering if she could choose to forget something in particular. But she knew she could not, and her sins taunted her at night, and shadowed her mind in day.

…

When school had resumed, Kaori withdrew from her friendships, her world shrinking back to herself and her family. Not quite as cold and withdrawn as before meeting Hase-kun, but just… different. She no longer smiled at Saki-chan's antics. Kaori didn't laugh or giggle in everyday banter, but instead became stoic and silent. She was simply not herself, or at least the person she'd come to be in recent months.

Everyone noticed, her parents knowing, teachers concerned, friends curious, Saki-chan and Kiryu-kun knowing about Hase-kun's condition. Kaori waited and waited, hoping to receive news on the incident, only knowing that Hase-kun had gone through several surgeries after coming to the hospital in a near death state, severe injuries, head trauma, and major blood loss being some of the reported concerns. After the first day, they had not received many notifications on Hase-kun's condition, although Kaori had asked to be informed when visitors were allowed.

The wait made Kaori so anxious that a week after, she once again wandered the city, mindlessly travelling. In her wanderings, Kaori found herself on the bridge once more, looking out to the river. She remembered Hase-kun's words from earlier in the year, when he told her where his house was. Kaori thought about it for a moment, before departing in the directions he had once stated. But that seemed like so so long ago, impossibly far back. She wondered if she even remembered the route properly.

But would Hase-kun's family want to see her? The accomplice, the criminal, the person who had gotten their son in that situation? The reason, the problem, the guilty child? Why would they ever want to see her? Questions echoed through her mind, Kaori staring fervently at the house she stood before, Hase-kun's home. She lifted a quivering hand to knock, sealing her eyes shut tightly. Nothing.

Kaori looked around, glancing in through the windows, before realizing no one was home. There were no lights on, no sounds, no movement. The Hase family was out. Nervous, Kaori backed away from the building, before coming face to face with a woman who resembled Hase-kun to a startling degree. They shared the same brown hair, and a similar face, although Kaori realized she was much too old to be Hase-kun's sister. Hase-kun's mother stood before her, a few inches taller carrying a bag of groceries.

"May I help you?" The woman asked, unfamiliar with the girl standing on her doorstep.

"A-ah, umm." Kaori hesitated. "My name is Kaori Fujimiya, nice to meet you!" She bowed lightly.

"And why are you here?" The woman questioned, sounding genuinely curious.

"Uh, about that. I'm one of your son's friends." Kaori replied timidly. At the mention of her son, the woman flinched, but beckoned for her to go on. "I-I would like to know how he is." She sighed.

"He's improving." Hase-kun's mother deadpanned. "They weren't so sure a week ago, but his condition has mostly stabilized. He had major head trauma though, and that's one of the things they're still unsure about." Kaori fiddled with her hands, unsure of how to respond to that.

"Oh." Kaori said. "W-well that's nice to know. I'll be going now!" Hase-kun's mother simply nodded before moving aside to let the young girl pass, hurrying to get away from the woman, afraid she might find out that Kaori was responsible for her son's injury. It was a needless fear, yet Kaori ran the moment she turned the corner, trying to get as far away form the Hase household as she could. Guilt gripped her, tortured her. Yet Kaori still walked on, knowing not to cry out in the open.

…

It was a few weeks after the incident before Kaori was allowed to visit. She was anxious in that time, waiting and wondering, hoping for the best. That was all Kaori could do now, knowing that the guilt wouldn't go away until after she had a chat with Hase-kun, and maybe it might stay later still. He had injured himself in her place, saved her and hurt himself. No matter how Kaori looked at it, she was at fault.

Kaori had to slow herself to a more expected walk, taking care not to run in the busy hospital as she found the room Hase-kun was in. After it was declared he was taking visitors, Kaori had rushed over as fast as she could on foot, hoping to make amends, and to thank the boy that had saved her life. Swinging the door wide open and rushing in, she saw him. Hase-kun, sitting in bed, wearing a bland white hospital gown. He looked just like Kaori had described in her diary, messy brown hair wild on his head parted in the center, and kind eyes.

"H-Hase-kun!" Kaori cried out, rushing to his side, to clasp his hand. "I-I-I… I was so worried!" The startled boy flinched, but let the contact continue. A blush arose on his cheeks, his eyes widening from surprise.

"I-I'm sorry for what I did!" Kaori told him, hoping that it would make him feel better. "Please forgive me!" She bowed her head, her grip on the boy's hand tightening. Kaori hoped that he didn't hate her for her weakness, for the accident. The thought that he might had been tormenting her for weeks, the chance that their friendship might have been irreparably damaged. Kaori disregarded the notion, hoping that Hase-kun could forgive her. When she looked up though, the boy's confusion was evident.

"A-ah I-I'm sorry, but…" Hase-kun trailed off, refusing to meet Kaori's gaze. "Do I know you?" Kaori froze, hands falling limp. She stared at Hase-kun's expression, realizing he honestly didn't know who she was. Kaori felt tears coming, the relationship finally flipped. Hase-kun had forgotten her. Why did it hurt so much? This was worse than him hating her, so much so. If only Hase-kun detested her, at least then he would know who she was.

"D-don't cry…" Hase-kun said hesitantly. "The doctors said I had something called 'retrograde amnesia'." Kaori wiped her tears once more, finally making up her mind. Hase-kun had always persevered for her, becoming her friend time after time, despite knowing this would happen. He must've gone through so much pain because of her, yet Kaori had never known it. She grabbed for Hase-kun's hand once more, but gentler this time. Kaori smiled brightly at the confused boy, whose face reddened a few shades deeper.

"I-I'd like for us to be friends."

AN: Originally, before I had finished watching the twelfth episode, I thought this was going to happen. Sadly, it didn't, but oh well. Close enough.

Though I don't think I portrayed the characters well enough, and editing past midnight is probably gonna ruin the 'quality' (assuming it was there in the first place), but oh well, too late now.