4.

In the end, it was Draco who was most willing to listen, or at least whom Harry ended up going to. He had no idea why he was talking to Draco, but with the exception of informing Luna that Ginny didn't seem interested in counseling (and her sad but unsurprised expression at that) Draco was the easiest one to talk to.

It was strange. He didn't snark, he seemed sad more than anything else.

Not that it was a secret. Gossip travels fast, especially in a family as close as the Weasleys. Within two days, everyone knew Harry and Ginny had separated.

They seemed to be leaving him his space, however. He received an owl from Arthur saying he was still welcome to Friday dinner, and Hermione poked her head in his office and asked him to lunch where they met with Ron. They spent most of the meal laughing over the notice Professor McGonagall had just taken out in the Prophet advertising for a new Transfiguration Professor who could "manage a transfiguration more complex than a twig into a slightly different twig."

When they parted, Ron gave his shoulder an extra thump, and Hermione held the hug a little longer than usual, but they treated the lunch like something completely normal, and he left feeling grateful for such supportive friends.

The biggest problem he had was how normal things felt. He was still smarting after the argument, after the accusation that he only saw Ginny as a walking womb and that he was doing the same with Draco. But the fact they'd grown so far apart that Ginny moving out felt like nothing out of the normal made him wonder if that should tell him something.

He posed the question to Luna the next week. "You can't change the past, Harry. Not even really the future, because there are too many variables. You can only work on your present. The question is if this makes you content or makes you happy."

"And what's the difference between being content and being happy, anyway?" Harry mushed the spaghetti around his plate and glanced up at Draco, who was twirling his spaghetti neatly, one strand at a time, before raising the fork to his mouth. "I mean... You can't be blissfully happy all the time, life isn't like that. But generally content is doable."

Draco sighed, setting his fork on his plate and taking a sip of water. "There's a difference between feeling slightly low and miserable, correct?"

"Yeah, but—"

"And if one were to feel slightly low, it would be just as worth trying to improve as if they were miserable? Even though they are completely different things."

Draco picked up his fork and began to twirl his spaghetti again while Harry frowned at him. "That makes no sense. Both of those are negative emotions, not positive. How can you say it's the same? Contentment is still positive, it's a matter of scale."

"You simply asked about the difference, not whether or not I thought you should do anything. It's a matter of scale. That is what the difference is."

He poked at his spaghetti again. "Are you happy?"

There was a screech as Draco's fork slid on his plate. "Of course I'm not." Draco's words came out a low hiss, and he stared at his clenched hands. "Please tell me what I have to be happy about. I can't do magic, I can't see my feet, and I can only see my mother via supervised International Floo. I'm pregnant, not by my choosing, and my only friends, using that term loosely, are a loony bint and someone with an overdeveloped hero complex. I spend my days watching the shite on your telly-thing because I have literally nothing else I can do right now. What about that is supposed to make me happy?"

"Draco—"

"What? What, Potter? You're going through a rough patch, fine. But you are so fucking blind to everything you do have. And soon enough this will blow over and you'll have your perfect family with the Weasley and this baby. So please forgive me if I have little patience for your crisis about not knowing how to properly judge your levels of happiness." Draco dropped his head onto his hands, trembling visibly.

"Draco—"

"What?"

"You're right. I'm sorry."

Draco looked up at that, his face almost comically surprised. "What did you say?"

"I said that you're right, you wanker. I'm being an arse." Draco stared at him, and he squirmed a bit, uncomfortable of the focused attention. "What?"

"I'm just trying to... I'm going to bottle this memory so I can watch it later in a Penseive. I want to make sure it will last."

"Oh, shut it."

"The Great Harry Potter, not only did he say I was right, but he apologized." Draco's lips twitched into something Harry was willing to bet was a smothered smile, and he found himself stifling laughter as well. "No one will believe me, otherwise."

Harry snorted. "No one who knows me would be surprised I'm wrong about something. And no one who doesn't would believe you even with proof."

Draco began laughing at that, and he quickly followed. He had no idea if it was that funny, or just finally feeling the release. And it was the first time he'd seen Draco laugh. Smirk, smile, and sneer, yes, but Draco's laughter was different. It was surprisingly light, joyful. His face flushed and his eyes shone, and he looked both younger and beautiful.

And that realization stopped Harry's laughter flat. He was married. Draco was his friend. His beautiful friend who had just come out of an abusive relationship and was almost seven months pregnant with what was going to be his baby. His baby with his wife.

"What's wrong? Harry?"

Harry blinked, and found himself meeting Draco's concerned gaze. "Yeah, sorry."

There was a moment of silence while Draco dropped his gaze. "I should apologize as well. I didn't mean what I said earlier. About you and Luna, I mean."

"No, it's all right. I know what you meant. I know you can't do potions right now, but... I could see about other things. Raid Hermione's library or something if you don't want to watch the telly. I don't want you feeling trapped."

"That would... Thank you." Draco's smile caused his heart to soar and his stomach to sink. He was fucked, but he returned the smile, his heart pounding as something in Draco's smile deepened. "Thank you."

"Hey Hermione?" Harry stuck his head in Hermione's office early the next morning, still yawning and rubbing sleep from his eyes.

There was some muffled grumbling and Hermione's chair twitched before it spun around to reveal Hermione, three large files in her arms and two quills in her hair. "Morning Harry. Is there something you need? Only I've been up to my eyes in the Heywood file..."

"No, I just wanted to know if it would be okay to Floo over to your place sometime later with Draco. He's read his way through our books and hasn't the patience for EastEnders."

"Mmm. I imagine I can offer him something more than Quidditch publications and Auror training manuals, yes. I'll send an owl to Ron to leave the Floo open for you this evening. He's manning the shop after dinner tonight and I'll be lucky to be home before midnight at this point."

"No bother, I'll do it. And get out of your hair so maybe you'll make it home before then."

Hermione nodded, her expression distracted. "How is Draco doing?"

He sighed. "Pregnant. Very..." He waved his arm out in front of him, mimicking the curve of Draco's belly. "His Healer assures us that it's perfectly normal for a man to look ready to pop at six or seven months just because there aren't any hips there."

"And his magic?"

"He's still restricted. But the Healer checks him weekly to monitor the levels of his core now. In addition to everything else, I mean. And it's still falling, but..." Harry ran his hand over his face. "This is the point where things went wrong with Ginny, and I'm just..."

The files fell with a thunk and then Hermione's arms were tight around him. "Draco isn't Ginny, and this pregnancy is completely different. He's being monitored much more frequently and thoroughly due to the start, yes?"

Harry nodded.

"You don't need to worry about history repeating itself."

"I'm not. It's just... I don't know what I'm going to do. I didn't think I'd be having children with anyone but Ginny, whether ours or adopted or what. But this entire thing, it's me, Draco, and Luna. And when the baby is here, what do I do? This fucking Vow means I have to take the baby from Draco.

"Do you know what he did? It was shortly after he moved in, we were talking in the nursery and he did that thing... He was standing there straight and tense and he did the thing with his hand you sometimes see in the really bad cases. He just reached up with his fingers to check his belly was still there. Like he was afraid it was gone, afraid to show he was checking for it.

"How badly did Bletchley fuck him up that he was doing that? That he had to hide something he loved that wasn't even an issue when they were together?"

Hermione just watched him, her expression sad. "Was he hiding it from Bletchley or from you?"

"What?"

She shook her head. "Not like that. I'm not comparing you to Bletchley. But you are friends now, yes?" At Harry's nod, she continued. "You're friends, he knows the baby is going to go to you when it's born, as soon as it's born. He may not want to be any more attached. Or he may feel, as his friend, you shouldn't be made to see how attached he is."

"That's horrible."

"I don't know that it's true. You know Draco much better than I do."

He sighed. "He told me last night, in amidst the complaining about daytime telly, that he thought this thing with Ginny would blow over and we'd be one happy family as soon as the baby came." He looked down at Hermione, watched as her eyes filled with tears. "I don't think he's right. I think we've been apart so long that it's easier to be apart. We just didn't admit it."

Hermione held him tightly, and he didn't comment on her sniffles, or when his shoulder got wet.

They followed Hermione's instruction that the living room and library were fully available for perusal and borrowing, but the dining room and bedrooms were off-limits. Draco had merely raised his eyebrows when Harry explained the rules before Floo'ing to Ron and Hermione's, but on seeing the piles and shelves of books, his jaw had dropped. Harry couldn't help but laugh.

"Shut it, I didn't think even Granger could amass this number of books in a house this size. How much Wizard Space has she crammed in here?"

"You really don't want to know." He snagged Draco's elbow and nudged him in the direction of Hermione's library. "I figure you can start in the Library, as it's the most organized. Or at least shelved, everything is organized, just Hermione's the only one who knows how."

"I'm sorry I ever doubted you." Draco's expression still registered shock as he eyed the shelves stretching across each of the walls and from floor to ceiling. "Madame Pince would have a field day in here..."

He snorted a laugh, watching Draco bend to peer at a shelf, seemingly at random, his eyes wandering down the line of Draco's robe before he caught himself. "I don't doubt it. She's got more than a bit of everything. Fiction, nonfiction, theory, law, science..."

"So I see," Draco held up a copy of Gadding with Ghouls with a smirk. "Unfortunately, this doesn't tell me if I'm in fiction or non-."

"Can't help you there. I said it was shelved, not that I knew how she organized." Harry flopped down in Hermione's favorite reading chair. "If you're going to be a while, I might just catch a nap while you look."

"You could use some reading." Draco's mutter was quiet and sounded fond, so he ignored it, watching through mostly-closed eyes as Draco slowly made his way around the room, grabbing books as he went and stacking them in the center of the room.

"Ha. Wands and Cauldrons. I'm shocked. Pansy used to read these aloud in the common room after the firsties were asleep. They're quite racy." Harry peered across the room to where Draco was holding up a book with a picture on the cover of a buxom witch falling out of her robes and into the arms of an equally improbably clothed and muscled wizard. Draco stared fondly at the book a moment before adding it to the pile. At Harry's look, he shrugged. "Nostalgia. And I could use the laugh."

"Whatever you say. I reserve the right to mock you mercilessly about your reading habits later."

"At least I know how to read. I can read it aloud to you if you're jealous." He glanced down at it once again, his expression thoughtful. "I wonder if this is the one where they fuck on his broomstick."

Harry lost the battle to stifle his laughter while Draco looked pleased.

"You don't think I saw Ginny as just a womb, do you?" Harry broke the silence of Luna's office after both sat together quietly for nearly 10 minutes.

"You're the only one who knows what you're thinking, Harry." Luna seemed to take Harry's words as a cue and pulled a square of blue paper towards her, folding it into a fan shape. "But I don't believe you're the type of person to hold so limiting an opinion on another person. Did Ginny say that?"

"Her parting shot before she went to stay with Arthur and Molly. That I saw her as nothing but a walking womb, and now I had Draco to do that for me." He sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I didn't. I swear I didn't. I just thought it was what we both wanted."

Luna hummed quietly, examining the paper with a slight frown and unfolding half before starting again. "Maybe she meant less that she was a means to an end than your relationship was?"

"I loved Ginny!"

"Oh, Harry." Luna left off the paper and leaned across, grasping his hand tightly. "No one would ever doubt your capacity for love. But would it be fair to say that each of you had forgotten what your marriage was originally about? The focus on each other was overwhelmed by the focus on a child, both the child that was lost and the attempts to have a new one?"

"I still say that's different than thinking of her as being a walking womb."

Luna sighed. "You two react very differently to things you don't want to face. You try to avoid them. Ginny is actually a good bit like Draco, she would rather go on the attack to divert attention away from them."

Harry snorted. "Is that why she refused to try to get along? Too much alike?"

"No, she refused to try to get along because the memory of what Lucius did to her in her first year of Hogwarts is not one she's ready to let go of."

"Draco isn't his father." Luna nodded, her attention once again on the paper.

"He's not a walking womb, either."

"No he's not."

"It might be easier if he was."

At Harry's mutter, Luna looked up again, smiling sadly. "I'm certain a great many things would be easier for the both of you if you didn't have to think of each other as real people."

"Merlin, Potter, stop hovering." Draco's irritated mumble made Harry's jaw tighten as he sat beside Draco in Mylor's waiting room. They'd arrived early, ever since Draco passed his seventh month, Harry's anxiety had been through the roof, and he'd been bundling Draco to his appointments earlier and earlier.

"What if he says—"

"We'll find out what he says in half an hour, just like every week regardless of you mother henning me or not."

"Maybe I should take a leave of absence."

"No!" Draco's yelp cut off when the door to the hall opened and Luna wandered in. She raised her eyebrows slightly, but said nothing as she made her way over to the empty seat beside Draco, clasping his hand familiarly when she sat. Draco sighed and continued in a lower voice, "You would drive both of us mad if you had nothing to do all day besides worry about this pregnancy."

"I'm worried about you as well, you git."

"Draco's right, Harry."

"Yes I am. I like it when you say that I'm right about things. Can we go back to that and away from you hovering all the time?"

"But what if something—"

Draco made a noise of frustration, burying his face in his hands. "Merlin. Luna please, please talk to him before I'm sent to Azkaban for murdering the Savior of the Wizarding World."

"You're almost eight months pregnant, I doubt anyone would hold you responsible. And Harry is worried about you, Draco. You should be using that to your advantage and making him get you things."

"Thanks, Luna," Harry grumbled, staring at Mylor's door.

"If I send him to Belgium for chocolates, does that count?"

"I'm not going to fucking Belgium for—"

"Hello! I'm so glad to see everyone getting along this morning!" Mylor's exuberance filled the room as he gave everyone the standard enthusiastic handshakes. "Draco if you will step in so we can do the checks..."

"Can you do something about Potter's fussing?" Harry watched Draco, certain his heart was in his eyes, as he made his way slowly to Mylor's exam room. Each step had a sway, a weight, compensating for the forward thrust of his belly, and the movement drew his eyes and held his focus in a way he couldn't break from.

Mylor turned to Harry and gave him an understanding smile. "Fussing is completely understandable at this stage."

Harry pulled his attention from Draco, smiling faintly at Mylor. "I just don't want anything to go wrong..."

"It is a valid concern." Mylor nodded seriously, clapping one large hand on Harry's shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. "There are many things that can go wrong. But I think the kind of wrong you most fear is not at all likely. Pregnancies and babies delight in causing chaos, it is the inconvenient wrongs you should most be prepared to deal with."

His shoulder was patted again, and then Mylor turned to follow Draco into the examination room. He stared at the closed door, only realizing Luna had moved to take Draco's chair when he felt her arm around him. "There are a lot of things that can happen. Your concerns are reasonable. But you can't focus on the possibility of things going wrong and miss out on noticing all that's going right."

"What's going right?" Harry rubbed a hand through his hair. "Please tell me what is going right here? He's miserable and there's nothing I can do to make things better. And this stupid Vow..."

"Would you undo the Vow if it meant that things were back to what they were eight months ago?"

"I—" He bit his lip, staring at the door, willing it to open and free him from waiting. "I don't know. I would do things differently, I think."

Luna sighed. "Harry. If you'd done things differently, you'd be in a completely different position now. You know that. I'm not going to say that things happen for a reason, because that negates the importance of choice. Things don't happen for a reason, they happen because of specific choices, specific reasons. If you chose to do something differently, all this would be completely different.

"You have the chance for happiness here, Harry. I know you do. And it's all right to try and be happy."

His head snapped around and he stared at Luna, feeling the blood rush from his face. "Wha—"

"Harry? Luna?" Mylor's grave voice dragged his attention away from Luna's sad smile. "Would you come with me, please?"

Harry was through the door before he had a chance to realize he'd even left his seat. Draco was lying reclined on the examination table, his expression closed. He was wearing his shirt and covered by a sheet, but his feet were bare and sticking out below the spread of white. Harry stumbled to a halt, focusing on Draco's feet (bare feet, ten toes, a sparse dusting of white-gold hair on the largest on each foot—why had he never seen Draco's feet? Shouldn't he be giving foot rubs or something?) because thinking about Mylor's voice or Draco's expression was more than he could process.

"Sit, please." Luna nudged him and he stumbled into a chair. He was terrified, and he knew his expression showed it when Mylor raised a hand. "Now, now, nothing so terrible as that. The testing of Draco's magical core showed a larger drop than normal. He says he has done no magic, and I trust him. These sorts of spikes are unusual, but not unheard of. However, it means we may need to adjust his potions."

"Will he need to come in more often?" Harry kept his gaze firmly on Mylor, ignoring the quiet noise of protest from Draco at that.

Mylor reached for his quill and sucked the end into his mouth, frowning absently. "I do not think we are at that point. It may become a possibility later, but for now, I believe we shall continue as we are."

He sat a moment in silence before he shook his head. "But further spikes in drain is something we will need to watch out for. Sudden dizziness, particularly not upon standing, weakness of the extremities, breathlessness, with any of these symptoms, you should contact me immediately. And I do mean immediately, not like when your magic first began to suffer."

Mylor turned a faint glare in Draco's direction before turning to look at Harry and Luna. "I will trust you to watch out for him even if he does not take proper care for himself."

Draco cut in then. "Don't tell him that, he's in my hair all the time as it is." His voice was sharp, but there was something under it that Harry couldn't interpret. It seemed like every time he thought he could really read Draco, he'd turn around with something like that, and always when Harry felt most adrift and need of the nudge.

He'd just turned back to Draco to ask what the fuck he meant when Luna interrupted him. "We will keep an eye on him, thank you Mylor."

He was left glaring at a Draco who was specifically not looking at him, instead smoothing the sheet primly across his lap, when Luna stood and tugged his arm as well. "This is one of those moments when Draco is just being abrasive to get some space, Harry." The flush that climbed Draco's cheeks at that convinced him she was right, and he allowed himself to be dragged out the door.

Once the door closed again, he stood there staring at it a moment. "Does this count as the possibility of things going wrong?"

Luna just wrapped him in a hug. He hugged her back, dazed. The only thing he felt he was processing was the thought that he couldn't stand to lose Draco, not now. Not ever.

They'd only just made it out of the Floo when Draco turned on him. "I swear, Potter. You say one more thing about taking time off and hovering over me, I will break my magic restriction to hex you right now."

"I didn't even say anything!" Harry shot back, stung.

"You were thinking it. Loudly." He made his way to the couch, turning and flopping onto it.

"Well forgive me for being worried about you, you git!"

"You're not worried about me, you're worried because your wife miscarried around this point and are afraid I'm going to do the same."

"She was in St. Mungo's for weeks! The two are not mutually exclusive!" He tried to hold onto his frustration, anything to keep the fear at bay, but Draco's slump took the fight out of him. He sighed and approached Draco hesitantly, kneeling between his knees and trying to make eye contact. "I don't want anything to happen to you. Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes!" Draco's face was flushed and his eyes had the glassy sheen of tears, though his voice was steady. "Yes! I don't understand why you insist on pretending this is about more than the baby!"

"Because it's about more than the baby! I care about you!"

He wasn't certain what exactly happened then. Draco moved more quickly than he thought him still capable, and his arms were suddenly full of hardness and heat. Draco's hands were tangled in his hair and he was leaning down, across the large round expanse of his belly and his mouth was on his.

Merlin, but it felt like the first sip of water after weeks of parched heat. Draco kissed messily, with lips and tongue and bumping noses and knocking teeth and desperation. It felt amazing, and Harry groaned, pulling Draco closer, trying to press himself closer to the hard stretch of chest and belly.

He ran his hands down, over the smooth material of Draco's robes, feeling each bump and swell under the smooth roundness of his belly. He pushed the kiss deeper, his tongue delving into Draco's mouth, sliding and twining with Draco's, swallowing the whimpers Draco gave in response.

His hands slid lower and lower under the round swell until he bumped into something else entirely. Draco gave a groan and pulled back, eyeing Harry dazedly. "Sorry, I... My..." His cheeks were flushed and his lips were stained red and swollen, and Harry became abruptly aware of his own hardness when the sight caused his cock to twitch.

"Fuck..." He leaned in again, pulled by the gravity of Draco's mouth, his hand grabbing Draco's cock firmly through the layers of clothing and giving it a slow tug. He tried to curl closer, to have mouths and chests and cocks touching, but the outward thrust of Draco's belly prevented it. Instead he broke the kiss again, shoving Draco back to sprawl against the back of the couch, and shoved the robes up.

He stifled a chuckle when he saw underneath. Draco was wearing a pair of loose grey track bottoms and a white t-shirt under his robes, both more casual than Harry had ever imagined Draco wearing. The shirt was stretched almost to transparent over Draco's belly, and the waistband of the trousers lay trapped below his belly and above his erect cock.

He spent a moment wondering if he was actually going to do this, if he was going to take this next step, but one look at Draco's face, nervous and uncertain and wanting decided him. He pushed the shirt slowly up, letting it roll over the top of Draco's belly. Draco had always been so covered, he stared a moment at it, taking in the size of it, the smoothness of the skin, marked only by the black line stretching from his navel to beneath the band of his trousers. A thin line of coarse pale gold hair followed the darkness, and he leaned forward to lay a kiss there, then another.

Draco's breath whooshed out at the first touch of Harry's lips to his belly, and he whimpered again when Harry tugged on the elastic of his bottoms, tugging it out and around his erection. Then he paused; this was the moment. Kneeling before a breathless Draco, cock out and whimpering, this was the moment when everything changed. The moment when he took control of his choices and made the decision that would make him the most happy.

It was an easier feeling than he'd feared, and he felt nothing so much as relief when he reached out and grasped Draco's prick, feeling the slide of soft skin over hardness, watching the foreskin slide down to reveal the dark pink head, shining with moisture.

"Is this all right?" His voice was breathless, as if all his earlier nerves had left his hand and moved to his throat. He gave another tug and Draco nodded frantically, biting his lip and watching Harry avidly. He remembered Draco's earlier joke about bottling a memory and smiled, letting his thumb trace over the head before sliding down the shaft and rubbing firmly along the ridge.

It seemed obvious what he should do then, and he leaned forward, placing another kiss, this time on Draco's cock. The sound Draco made at that seemed caught between surprise and tears, and he took pity, taking the head into his mouth and suckling gently.

It wasn't like anything he'd experienced before, and the faint tug of Draco's fingers in his hair kept him firmly rooted in the present as the weighted slide of Draco's cock over his tongue attempted to fill his senses. He dropped, took more and more until Draco's hips twitched and drove his cock against the back of his throat.

Draco's breathless "sorry sorry" came before he'd even had a chance to cough, and then he was being pulled up, kissed again and again, Draco's tongue delving deep, his hands clutching. After a moment, Draco pulled away again, dragging Harry's hand back to his cock and wanking it gently. "Just this, okay?"

He nodded. The angle was awkward, he was used to his own cock pointing the other direction, and he kept bumping into the underside of Draco's belly. But then he felt Draco's hands working on his own jeans, and reaching into his boxers and then strong fingers wrapped around his own cock. "We'll just do this," Draco breathed as he began to tug in earnest.

He leaned forward to recapture Draco's mouth. The awkwardness of the angle, the newness of the situation, all lost in the feeling of Draco's hand on his prick, of his own hand tugging Draco in time. He let the fingers of his free hand twine in Draco's hair, marveling at the smoothness of the strands. Draco seemed to let out a quiet whimper with each breath, and he could feel the closeness of his release with the trembling tension in his thighs.

Draco was closer, however, breaking the kiss to gasp and moan as Harry felt the first spray of wetness against his hand. He breathed deep, sucking in Draco's hasty exhalation. He thought there might have been a curse there, but words were lost as he thrust his hips into the tight grasp of Draco's hand and his own release caught him.

When he caught his breath, Draco's eyes were open and watching him. His expression was one Harry couldn't decipher, but he leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Draco's forehead then lips. When he pulled back, a small smile had formed, and Draco leaned in to kiss him back.

Later, he thought that of course things were going too well and were bound to fall apart. His life had settled into another routine over the next two weeks. He worked, met with Luna, lunched with Ron and Hermione. He felt freer than he'd been since the mad rush of adrenaline after the war. He and Draco had adopted the nervous awkwardness he thought of being common in new relationships.
They each kept to their own rooms at night, and they didn't again end up letting things progress to the point they'd reached after the appointment with Mylor, but verbal jabs were now met with kisses and quiet moments with leans.

Though Draco turned red and sputtered when Harry asked if he should be giving foot massages, which he shouldn't have found as endearing as he had.

When Harry stepped through the Floo a few minutes late and arrived in a silent house, he didn't think much of it. Draco had taken to dozing off in the rocking chair in the nursery, usually with Wands and Cauldrons opened on his belly. He dropped his cloak over the back of the chair and started up the stairs.

He entered the nursery and stopped when he saw Draco's sprawled figure on the floor, pale as death in his dark robes and against the dark wood of the floor.

It took two tries to send his Patronus to Luna, but he heard the sound of the Floo downstairs within minutes. "Harry?" Luna's voice was loud and strong and lacked all it's usual dreaminess.

"Upstairs!" The part of his mind he usually relegated to work could hear the panic under his tone, but he didn't care, kneeling over Draco, one hand on his chest because he couldn't stand not feeling his heartbeat even for a moment as he lay unresponsive.

Luna knelt beside him, casting a few basic diagnostic spells over them both before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a half-chewed pen and sliding it between Harry's hand and Draco's chest. "Take the Portkey and hold on to Draco, Harry. Portus."

What followed was like revisiting a nightmare. They arrived in the Gorsemoor Wing and were immediately surrounded by chaos. He vaguely recognized Luna's voice calmly answering questions as Draco was levitated onto a gurney and sent down the hall to a small room.

The room quickly filled with Healers in lime green robes, and his hand was pried from Draco's and he was efficiently shuffled from the room and into Luna's waiting embrace. "I've called Ron and Hermione. I'll wait with you here. I promise you won't be alone."

It was all he could do to hold on to her. At first he thought she was trembling, but as she began to lead him back down the hall to one of the private waiting rooms, he realized it was him.

He didn't know how long he was sitting when Ron and Hermione arrived. He'd sat for a moment when Luna brought him, before his nerves got the better of him and he had to stand, to move. Luna had watched him as he'd crossed the room again and again like a caged Nundu. He'd sat again because some part of his head insisted they'd only give him news if he was sitting, because of all the stories told about people fainting when Healers gave them good news.

And Healers wouldn't talk to him if he had farther to fall.

He wasn't certain he was making sense, but the tight grip Luna had on his hand told him that maybe sitting was good for both of them. So he was sitting and holding Luna's hand, neither speaking nor looking at the other, when Hermione poked her head in the door.

She took one look between them and something in their expressions made her blanch. She pushed the door open the rest of the way and Harry could see Ron's solid presence behind her.

"What happened?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I came in from work and he was just... on the floor."

Luna gave his hand a squeeze. "We won't know for certain until the Healers are done. But given his earlier complications, I think it likely due to drain to his core."

Both Ron and Hermione winced at that. Hermione opened her mouth, likely to ask more questions, when the door opened again and Mylor came into the room.

"Harry, Luna." He glanced at the others. "And hello, I am Draco's Healer, I don't mean to be rude, but Draco has been very particular about his privacy in this situation. Would you be so kind as to wait outside, it won't be a moment."

Ron gave him a pat on the shoulder and Hermione bussed the top of his head before they turned to leave. Mylor smiled and spoke quietly to each of them as they left, and then he shut the door.

"Is it his core?"

At Harry's question, Mylor held up a hand. "Draco will be well. He is unconscious now and will likely be that way overnight, but we will be able to awaken him in the morning. He will be well. To answer your question, yes. It appears there was another surge and his core was unable to handle it. Lacking a proper reservoir, it turned inward and his body... shut down, I suppose is the simplest way to think of it. This was always a possibility, but one we'd hoped to avoid. It is not anything you could have prevented."

"But he was just..."

"Harry. His body is in a sort of stasis. The difference between five minutes and five hours is nothing. He could have been there a full day with no other problems. We aren't trying to awaken him now because with everything held static, we can ensure there are no other problems we will need to deal with when he wakes."

Mylor's face twisted into a slight grimace. "Our biggest problem from this situation will be that he now needs to remain in hospital until the babe is born, and that is not a discussion I am looking forward to." Mylor chuckled quietly, shaking his head. "He has passed his eighth month. In witches, the baby could be delivered tomorrow with no ill effects. But with complicated pregnancies, we wish the child to remain in the womb... At least another week, two would be better."

Beside him, Luna began laughing. "Two weeks and the ward will be as happy to see the back of him as he will be to be free."

Mylor nodded, his deep laughter joining Luna's. "Indeed. I will say I thought briefly about telling him it would be three to four weeks, just to lessen the blow. But I do not think that would work."

Harry just looked between the two of them. "He'll be okay?"

"Yes, Harry." Mylor's smile was kind, and he gave his back a few solid pats. "Bored and grumpy and stuck here, but he will be well in the end. He and the baby both. All will be well."

He nodded, overwhelmed with relief. He closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing, trying to will the lingering panic away. When he felt Ron and Hermione's familiar arms around him, he was able to hug them back.

Sometime in the dark hours before dawn, Ron passed him a cup of weak tea from the cart in the main lobby of the ward. Luna had left shortly after Mylor, hugging him and saying she had an early appointment but she'd bring him some breakfast after. Hermione had left near midnight, assuring him she would finish filling his leave form and make certain it went to Robards.

Ron stayed. He watched him pace, sat with him, and left only to visit the toilet or bring more tea. He had talked Quidditch, relayed stories about creative explosions in the shop, and discussed his and Hermione's plans to visit France in the spring. He also sat in silence, a steady warmth on Harry's right.

But when Ron handed him that cup of tea, he heaved a sigh. "You're keeping him, aren't you?"

"What?" His head snapped up to look at Ron fast enough he felt something in his neck pop.

"Malfoy." Ron was wearing a strange grimace, staring at his tea. "You're keeping him. You wouldn't be this big a mess otherwise."

"I..." He let his words trail off, uncertain of what he was going to say.

"I'm not saying I'm okay with it. And if you cheated on Ginny, I'll punch you no matter what sort of mess you are right now. But it's pretty obvious to everyone you and Gin aren't getting back together. And now this."

"We've... kissed." He was certain his cheeks matched the scarlet of Ron's ears, and he fell silent when Ron held up his hand.

"I don't want to know. I don't ever want to know details. But you should probably let the family know if this is going to be... you know... something."

He nodded, feeling lighter than he'd done since finding Draco. "Thanks. Thanks Ron."

Ron just took a large gulp of tea.

He'd dozed off in the chair sometime after that, and he woke to Luna gently shaking his shoulder. "Ron went home. I brought you some toast and coffee."

"Draco?"

Luna smiled. "They haven't woken him yet. They're waiting until after the morning rounds in case he raises a fuss."

He nodded and sat up, taking the cup and napkin wrapped toast from Luna. He took a long sip of coffee, strong and over brewed in the way he associated with St. Mungo's, before nibbling on the toast.

"What time is it?"

"A bit after nine. They should call you back in about 30 minutes."

He sighed and nodded. "I hate waiting."

She patted his arm and smiled. "You always have. Did you have a good talk with Ron?"

He didn't even wonder what she was asking about. "Better than I thought I would, yeah."

"Good. I need to get back; my schedule today is pretty full. But you can ask someone to send me a memo if you need anything."

"Thanks. I mean it. Thanks."

Luna hugged him and left him alone in the waiting room with his cold toast and his swiftly cooling coffee.

His relief when a Mediwitch poked her head in and beckoned him to follow was quickly surpassed when he heard Draco's annoyed voice from down the hallway. Nevertheless, he broke into a jog and burst into the room, cutting Draco off mid-rant. Mylor was standing at the foot of the bed, and beamed at Harry when he entered.

"Harry! Hello! As you can see, Draco is awake and well." Mylor gestured expansively toward the bed, and Harry eyed Draco carefully. He was pale and his eyes sunken and dark, but the peevish expression on his face was what convinced him Draco really was feeling well.

"We were just discussing how to make the next few weeks more comfortable—"

"Not being in this fucking hospital would be more comfortable..."

"—But Draco seems to be a bit in denial about the necessity." Mylor shook his head, still smiling.

"I'm on an indefinite leave of absence. So it's either Draco stays here in hospital where I'll likely need to not spend every moment, or he comes home and has me hovering over him trying to do things for him all day, every day."

Draco's jaw dropped and his cheeks pinked. "I hate you both so much right now."

Mylor beamed. "Excellent! We'll be transferring you to the non-emergency hall later this morning! Good morning to you both!"

Once Mylor had left the room, Draco turned on Harry. "That was completely unfair! You are a sneaky horrible arse."

Harry just grinned, sitting beside Draco and kissing his forehead. "You're proud of me, I can tell."

"You can fuck right off." Draco's arms were crossed, but his lips were twitching, and Harry laughed in response.

The days seemed to pass slowly. Draco was moved to another small room, this one with an enchanted window showing a peaceful seascape with a window bench Harry had taken to spending his nights asleep on. It was uncomfortable, but he couldn't stand the thought of being away long if something happened.

He tried to balance his time between sitting with Draco and finding errands to do before they killed each other. He enjoyed bringing Draco things. On his first trip home, he snagged Draco's pajamas, toiletries, and Hermione's copy of Wands and Cauldrons (which he was really beginning to think she wouldn't be getting back). He intentionally forgot Draco's slippers to give him something to fuss about and send him out for later. He also regularly snuck food past the Welcome Witches: apple tarts, jars of olives, and Worcestershire sauce flavored crisps.

Draco grumbled and threatened, but held the worst of his temper in check as he was regularly poked and prodded and potioned.

Luna visited regularly, poking her head in for a few minutes here and there throughout the day. Ron and Hermione came most evenings. The first night, Hermione had given him a stern look and a hug before surprising Draco with the same treatment. Mylor, they saw twice each day: after breakfast and before dinner. Each time, Harry left to allow Draco privacy while Mylor performed the examination, and received a large smile and a "that's one more day, yes?" as Mylor left.

And each day did feel like a victory. They'd both taken to murmuring encouragement to Draco's belly, congratulating the baby on each day she stayed and grew. And then on the eighth day, she proved she had the Malfoy contrary temperament and one week was more than enough time for them to be ready.

The process was relatively straightforward. Draco had begun experiencing cramps in his back and lower belly a few hours before dawn, and at Harry's panicked summons of a Mediwitch, they'd been told that when Mylor arrived at his normal time, he would likely deliver the baby.

She left them in stunned silence as she waved her wand, activating a golden ward above Draco's door, and returned to her desk.

Harry collapsed back on the bench. "Fuck. I need... Fuck."

Draco threw a pillow at him. "You need to contact Luna, and anyone else you need to hold your hand and keep you distracted." He grimaced and rubbed a hand along his belly. "And give me that fucking pillow back, it was apparently useful."

Harry helped Draco tuck the pillow back behind Draco's back before running out to the public Floo. The fire had barely turned green before he was yelling into it. "Luna! Luna!"

A moment later, Luna's head appeared in the flames, her hair wisping around her face like a living thing. "Hello, Harry. I wasn't expecting to hear from you until morning."

"They're going to... Draco's going to... This morning. I mean, the baby."

Luna nodded. "Yes, I thought that would be why you would be contacting me at three in the morning. It's not an emergency?"

"No?"

Luna nodded. "All right, I'm going to go back to bed now. I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Harry."

The fire turned orange, and he ignored the snickering coming from the desk behind him until the Mediwitch spoke. "Try and be gettin' some sleep, love. When the babe comes, you'll not be seein' any of that for a while."

He stared at her a moment, certain she was mad. She just smiled and shrugged at him. "Didn' say it was likely. Still good advice."

"Thanks." He sighed and made his way back to Draco's room. "Luna will be here in a few hours. Can I do anything?"

He thought Draco was going to snap at him as he usually did when Harry felt helpless and needing to do something, but instead Draco eyed him hesitantly. "Would you rub my back? Please? Rub my back, please?"

Harry stood a moment before a quiet moan from Draco broke him out of his shock and he climbed onto the bed. "Yes. Here, budge up."

"You fucking budge. I can barely move." Draco's complaint was half-hearted at best, which as much as his asking for help told Harry how much pain he was in. He also knew he'd be punched if he said anything, instead he helped Draco lean forward and focused his attention on the muscles in Draco's lower back, tight and trembling with strain.

"Everything will be okay."

"Of course it will. Don't be such a Hufflepuff." But he felt Draco relax into him, anyway.

Luna arrived with Mylor, and before he knew quite what was happening, Luna had led him out of the room, talking about the cafeteria and breakfast and he was at the lift before he got a word in edgewise.

When he protested, her response was a smile. "It will take about an hour, and Draco is doubtless already asleep. You'll be there when you need to be, and this way you're out of everyone's hair."

"Why does everyone treat me like an idiot?" He rubbed his hands over his face, coffee was sounding like a marvelous idea.

"Because you're a wreck, and many people equate that with being a bit of an idiot. I apologize, I don't think you're an idiot, Harry."

He sighed. "Thanks."

"We'll get some coffee, and maybe some muffins. Do you want Ron and Hermione to be here?" She gestured him into the lift and followed.

"I don't know. I have no idea what we're even doing right now. We never talked about all the stuff after. She doesn't even have a name!"

"I think that is more common than you might believe right now. All of those things, I mean." The chime as the lift reached its destination was drowned out by the comparative volume of the cafeteria. "Here, find a table, and I'll get us something to eat. We'll sit here for thirty minutes and you can decide if you want anyone here with you, or if you want the first few hours with Draco and the baby to be private."

He nodded and found a table near one of the windows. He couldn't tell immediately if it was charmed, as the drizzly London traffic could be just as likely the true view from this vantage. He sat and watched the cars, and when Luna brought him coffee and a pastry, he enjoyed the silence of her presence. She was comfortably there; he could smell her herbal tea and hear the quiet sound of her eating, but she sat with him in silence while he ate and thought.

When she placed her hand on his arm, he smiled at her, feeling much calmer.

"Thank you. I think—no I know Draco would want you there, but I think I'd rather wait on everyone else until after lunch."

"Of course. I'll Floo Hermione and let her contact the rest of the family. Then I'll meet you in the waiting room near Draco's room in ten minutes."

"Thank you, Luna." He tugged her in a hug and watched as she made her way back to the lifts. He took a few more moments to gather himself before he followed.

Everything would be all right.

The Mediwitch stuck her head in the door and called him back to Draco's room before Luna arrived. He followed on her heels, his stomach in knots, and when she opened the door to Draco's room, he needed to stand for a moment to just breathe.

The first thing he saw was Draco, looking oddly flat under the white sheets without the swell of stomach he'd become so used to. His eyes were closed and his breathing was deep and even. Beside the bed was a small bassinet where Harry could see what appeared to be a pile of blankets.

"Good morning, Harry." Mylor's smile was warm and open, though his voice was hushed. Harry found a little more nervousness leaving him. "Everything went well. Draco should be waking in the next few minutes, and he will be good to go home tomorrow or Friday."

"So soon?" He couldn't keep the note of surprise out of his voice, but Mylor simply shook his head.

"The birth went well, twenty-four hours is the standard observation period. We are open to extending longer because of the other factors of the pregnancy; we will have a better idea tomorrow. But the only lingering issue is the drain." Mylor shrugged his shoulders. "There will be no more spikes now that this little one is here, but there is nothing we can do here to speed the process of recovery. So our options become keep him here or allow him to be where he is more comfortable. He will need supervision, but I know he has friends who can do that, so there's no reason to stay."

Harry nodded, his attention drawn once more to the bassinet. "Can I...?"

"Of course! Don't be silly, come meet her!" Draco stirred as Mylor's voice gained is normal register, and Harry glanced at him before approaching the bassinet.

"She's so tiny." And she was. Her face was red and round, and he counted her fingers where they gripped the blanket in her sleep. She had a scattering of light brown hair and his heart swelled as she snuffled and yawned.

"Pick her up! Pick her up! Go on!"

He reached into the bassinet and carefully lifted the small bundle. She snuffled again, and then was quiet except for quiet snoring. There was a quiet moan from the bed and he looked up to see Draco's eyes blink open.

"Hello Draco!" Draco blinked a few more times before turning his head to Mylor. "Welcome back! Everything went well!"

"How is she?" Draco's voice was low and vaguely muddled, but his eyes were rapidly regaining clarity.

"Small, but healthy. The Pediatric Healer has checked, and she will be able to leave when you are. Which will be tomorrow or Friday. She may have a tendency toward illness in her first year or two, but not out of the normal range."

As Mylor spoke, Draco's attention was obviously drawn to the blankets in Harry's arms. He sat on the bed beside him, tilting the baby so Draco could see. "She's perfect." The words were quiet as breath, and Harry doubted Draco was even aware he'd spoken.

"Hold her."

Draco glanced down at his wrist, where the lines still showed a faint red. "I think you'd better keep ahold of her until these fade."

"Draco—"

"No, it's okay. It may be that it just takes time for the marks to disappear completely, but I'd rather not lose my hand if it's all the same."

"We'll talk to Luna, she should be here any moment. Okay?"

Draco nodded, his hands tight in his lap.

"It's simple. Harry, you just need to state your intentions. And she probably needs a name first, something Potter-only to separate her from Malfoy and Bletchley." Luna's voice was matter of fact when she arrived and Harry asked about the marks. The baby was still asleep in his arms, and Draco had been avoiding even looking at them.

"You should name her Lily. For your mother."

He looked to Draco, surprised he'd spoken, and saw he was still staring at his knees. "Lily Narcissa. For both our mums."

Draco pinked and Luna smiled, stroking a tiny hand. "It's a lovely name, Harry. Now, make a declaration. Just something with her name and such. Shouldn't be too hard."

"I, uh... I Harry James Potter am the father of Lily Narcissa Potter, and wish Draco Abraxas Malfoy to remain part of our lives."

There was a red flash and his wrist began tingling sharply. He glanced down to see the lines winding off his wrist until there was nothing there but his own skin. A glance at Draco's arm revealed the same thing.

"Merlin, finally," he sighed, relieved as if the completion of the Vow was a literal weight lost from his shoulders. "Draco, hold her?"

Draco still looked nervous, so Harry simply took the initiative and pressed the bundle of blanket and baby against his chest. Sure enough, Draco's arms lifted to cradle her close as if on instinct.

He exhaled in a whoosh, collapsing onto the side of the bed. Every emotion he thought he'd been feeling when he first saw little Lily had doubled seeing her in Draco's arms. He was vaguely aware of Luna kissing both of them goodbye and closing the door behind her, but his world was entirely focused on that bed.

Ron and Hermione arrived mid-afternoon bearing cake, a book titled A Wizard's Guide to the First Year and a yellow knit hat and pair of booties. Ron made faces at Lily where she lay half-asleep in the bassinet while Hermione discussed the table of contents of the book with a dazed-looking Draco.

After a few moments, Ron tugged him aside. "Told the family that the baby came, but they're all holding off until tomorrow morning. Expect the rush as soon as visiting hours are open. Mum hasn't been this excited since Fleur popped."

Harry glanced at Draco and murmured, "Did you tell them?"

Ron shook his head. "No, but Hermione may have hinted something about that to Mum and Dad."

He nodded. "How's Ginny?"

Ron sighed. "Busy. She's almost never there; Mum was complaining about her always coming in at odd hours and leaving at dawn, missing dinners. If she wasn't so happy, I'd probably have punched you anyway. But..." He shrugged and bumped shoulders with Harry. "I don't think anyone will end up too surprised."

Harry smiled. "You're the best mate I could ever have."

Ron nodded soberly. "I want you to remember that every birthday and Christmas until the end of time."

Harry was still bleary-eyed when the door burst open at 9am. Lily had wanted a feed and a nappy change every two hours like clockwork, and only the fact she spent the rest of the time sound asleep made the previous night at all bearable.

Arthur and Molly entered the room in a rush of excitement, arms full of wrapped boxes and platters of biscuits. Before he knew quite what was happening, Molly had taken Lily from him and left him with a lap-full of presents. "Oh, isn't she just a dear? Arthur, look. She's going to have Draco's hands, look at those long fingers."

Molly and Arthur cooed over Lily while Harry tried to get his fingers working well enough to unwrap the packages. Draco huffed quietly beside him, taking a box to work on himself. "She really is lovely. And don't you two look awake." He looked up to see Molly hand Lily off to Arthur, who expertly hefted her one-handed and began to bounce, keeping up a steady stream of babble.

She gave him a hug before turning to Draco and patting his shoulder. "It gets better. It gets worse first, but it gets better. I want you two to Floo me any time you need anything. I can make you dinner or take her for a few hours and let you sleep." She straightened. "Now don't worry about those packages. Just open the brown one over there; it's got a going-home dress for her. The rest can be dealt with later. When are they releasing you?"

He glanced at Draco. "We can leave after lunch."

Molly nodded. "Let me get one more kiss..." She took Lily back from Arthur and kissed her forehead before handing her back to Harry. "I'll pop by the house and get it all set up, you've barely set foot in it for a week. I'll fill your coldbox, too. The rest of the family may pop by in a bit, but I think they'll mostly wait until you're home. Open the brown box! And eat some of those biscuits! You're nothing but skin and bones, the both of you."

There was a moment of silence after they left before Draco climbed out of bed to get the brown package. "She scares me."

Harry laughed, putting Lily back in her bassinet and popping a biscuit in his mouth. "That means you're smart."

"Harry?"

His head shot up from where he'd been watching Lily sleep at the sound of Ginny's voice at the door. Draco was in the en suite, and he stood quickly. "Ginny! I wasn't... Well, I wasn't expecting to see you."

She gave a nervous smile. "No, I thought not. Could we...?" She gestured out the door.

He glanced toward the bathroom door before scooping Lily up in his arms and following Ginny out. The hallway was busy this time in the morning he took a moment to really look at her once they'd reached a quiet corner. Her hair was shorter, and her face relaxed and happy under the nerves. "How are you? You look good."

She smiled, this time open and relieved. "I am good. Thanks. I... I just wanted to say I'm sorry. About all this. Is that her?"

"Yeah. Lily Narcissa." He tilted the bundle down so Ginny could see inside.

"I... Part of me wishes we still worked. But we really just don't anymore, do we?"

He shook his head slightly. "You're happier. Now. Without me, I mean."

She laughed. "I could say the same." There was a pause, then: "I've been talking to Luna. I think... I think I really need to start putting the past behind me. The only way it can still affect me is if I let it."

He gave her a slight smile. "I just want you happy, Gin. It's all I've wanted."

She pulled him into a careful hug. "Don't wait up for me," she murmured. "We should both be happy."

He pulled back and looked down at her. She seemed both sad and hopeful, so he simply nodded in response. She gave him another quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you."

Once she was gone, he turned to fetch some tea from the cart. "That, baby girl, was your Auntie Ginny."

When he returned to the room, two cups floating behind him, Draco was gone.

"He signed himself out not two minutes ago." The Mediwitch at the desk pulled out a file and pointed to the signature reading Draco Malfoy.

"Fuck! Where did he go?"

"To the lifts, I assume. Mr. Potter! You can't take the baby off the ward without the Healer's signature!" The Mediwitch scurried around the desk, grabbing his sleeve at the lift.

"He hasn't any magic! He wasn't supposed to be able to leave without supervision!"

"He's an adult wizard. He acknowledged the risks and signed himself out. This little one cannot leave the ward without authorization."

"Fuck." He passed Lily to the surprised Mediwitch as the doors opened, trying to ignore the burst of anxiety when he did so. "I'll be back with Draco in a few minutes!"

When he reached the lobby, he looked around frantically until he spotted Draco's white-blond hair near the entrance. "Draco! You fucker- get back here!"

The expression of surprise on Draco's face would have been funny had he not been so angry and scared. He ignored the shocked expressions of the Welcome Witch and people in the lobby as he raced for the entrance and grabbed Draco's arm.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? You're not supposed to go anywhere without assistance, you idiot!"

Draco's chin lifted in a familiar defensive gesture. "I'm fully within my rights to sign myself out of hospital if I choose."

"Not without telling me!"

"And why is that? So you can tell me to get lost and leave you to your happy family?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

Draco's expression was shuttered, and he stared at a point somewhere around Harry's left ear. "I saw you with your Weasley and the baby. I don't need to be told that my part in this thing is done."

"What?"

"You were really very kind to me, but your good deed is done and the exchange is made. I was expecting this, maybe not quite so quickly, but—"

"You shut your fucking mouth. We are going back upstairs and getting Lily and then we are going to talk." He tugged Draco none-too-gently back toward the lift, ignoring the murmuring around them.

When the lift dinged back on the Gorsemoor Ward, he pulled Draco through and back to the desk. The Mediwitch was sitting there looking vaguely skeptical as he held out his arms for Lily. When she passed her over, he promptly deposited her in Draco's arms and dragged him back to his room.

"Sit there." He pointed at the window bench and when Draco opened his mouth to protest, he interrupted, "No, I don't want to hear it. I listened to you talk downstairs and it was shit, now you're going to listen to me."

Draco's mouth shut with a snap, and his expression was mulish, but he sat on the bench and bounced Lily gently in his arms.

"You are so fucking full of shit, I think I want to punch you harder than I did back at Hogwarts. What on earth were you thinking? I told you I wanted you to be part of our lives!"

"I saw you with—"

"You saw me saying goodbye to my wife. Who I am separated from. Who no one expects me to get back together with, because they all know I'm a complete loss for you!"

"You hugged her. She kissed—"

"Goodbye! We were wishing each other well! I wouldn't be surprised if she owled me divorce papers on Monday!" He sighed. "Why the fuck would you just leave me like that?"

There was silence and then Draco sighed. "I... I didn't want to be left behind. After everything, to almost have something and then lose it. I didn't want to watch you leave me, or come up with an excuse later when you realize I'm not..." His voice was quiet, and when his words trailed off, Harry almost wondered if it had just become that soft.

"You're not what?"

"What you really want. A Death Eater, damaged goods, can't do magic, hated by your family, all the rest."

"Draco..." He rubbed a hand through his hair.

"No, I mean, I understand. And I mean when I say you've been... really wonderful through this. You took me in, you... did things you didn't have to. I know... I know Lily will be loved and cared for and surrounded by people who love her. And I want that for her. And... And I believe you when you say that you don't want me cut out of her life, but things being how they are..."

Draco stared down at the bundle of blankets, but Harry would be surprised if he actually saw anything. His face was wrecked and his trembling was visible from where Harry stood.

"I think I'd rather not be there than get attached. I'm already too attached."

"Do you..." Harry had to clear his throat when his words came out a croak. "Do you want to leave? I don't want to make you stay if you really want to go."

"It would be easier."

"Fuck easier! I'm asking what you fucking want!"

"You! All right? I fucking want both of you! I've loved her since I found I was pregnant, even with... Miles... And then you had to come and be kind and treat me like... like I was human, and you look like that and what am I supposed to do?"

And this is Draco, not the cowed version so willing to give up. He is flushed and panting, his eyes flashing. This is the Draco he sucked, the Draco he wanked because he couldn't help himself. He crossed the room in two strides, grabbing Draco's head and kissing him desperately. And when Draco kissed him back, he moaned, wanting nothing more than to push Draco down and try that blow and wank thing again to see if it was any easier without the belly in the way.

But he couldn't, because Lily squalled at the jostling and he pulled back. "Then why is it so hard to believe I want all that as well?"

Draco blinked at him. "You... want me?"

"I want you, Draco Malfoy. If you really want to leave, I will let you, but if you stay I am never letting you go."

Draco's cheeks pinked, and his gaze darted down to Harry's mouth before he looked back up. "Then never let me go."

There was nothing to do then but kiss him again.

end