Joss took a deep breath, collecting her scattering emotions and opened the door.

"Hey Carter."

"What are you doing here?" It came out wrong, sounding harsher than she'd meant. "I mean.., out. What are you doing out so soon?" He looked amazing, staggeringly so, despite what he'd been through. The quietly confident, commanding air that always emanated from him, was back. Though somehow not entirely the same. The always present strained look, as if every burden was his to bear... looked...?

"Long as I avoid any mob brawls, Finch, or Fusco... I'll survive." John looked at her gun with raised brows and the slightest smile, "pretty sure I'm not too dangerous yet, Carter."

"You're always dangerous John." Carter holstered her gun only then realizing it was still in her hand. "Is everything alright?"

Reese's face grew serious. "I'm not sure..."

Carter again faced him in worried question.

"Are you?" Of the millions of things he wanted to say, that needed to be said, it was a meager start.

She didn't know where to begin or how to respond. So she simply lied, "I'm fine."

Carter ignored the disbelieving frown, instead just tried to absorb the fact that he was here, standing in her doorway large as life. He was thinner, but just more chiseled, paler but good color... but the look... It struck her - she recognized it now. Sad-hollowness.

Because of her. Her selfish avoidance. And now he was here risking, his recovery because she'd given him no choice but to track her down. "John, come inside."

Reese quietly slipped in, waiting for her to close the door. She was far from 'ok.' Though hidden under loose clothes, he could see the weight loss along with the knotted and rigid posture of too many sleepless nights, now gone numb. Her lack of faux annoyance, or any real opinion about him 'ruining her quiet evening' spoke to that, but her tired, red rimmed eyes and the piles of tissue next to the empty box, proved it. And it was his fault. "Carter..."

"Please..," she cut him off and motioned him to the couch, "sit down, you should still take it easy."

It wasn't a suggestion.

She however, remained standing, not trusting herself to say what she needed to say without keeping some distance between them. And those eyes. She had to avoid them. They could still take over all thought and reason, melting their way over any wall she may have thought impenetrable. As it was, all she wanted to do was curl up in his arms and sob tears of apology and joy. Instead she waited until he sat, scrutinized his every move.

Reese lowered himself with masked discomfort. He didn't want to sit. Didn't want to be this far from her. Though recognizing she needed the illusion of bolstering space, he gave her the distance and waited until it became clear she couldn't start. "Carter.."

No. "No John, wait. I need to say something." Joss nervously raised a halting hand and shifted, "I'm glad you're here. Able to be here! Alive." She inhaled while trying to calm down. "And I'm sorry. Sorry for the way I've been acting and not being there. I've... been... dealing with some stuff, but think I've got it figured out." God, she hated the sound of her weak voice, unconvincing to her own ears.

Her obvious distress was more than he could handle. Reese slowly rose and closed the separation between them not stopping until he stood right in front of her. "Joss, whatever it is, I'm here."

His nearness and whispered assurance sent shivers of desire teaming through her body. But she drew back - that was exactly the problem. She avoided looking at his face now, not sure if she could bear to look into those pained eyes without breaking down.

"Joss... Please talk to me." He brought long fingers to her cheek, tracing his thumb over her silken skin and swiping at a remaining tear.

Joss swallowed. This wasn't fair. For either of them. "That's just it." She pulled back and rallied her resolve, despite the threatening tears. She had to say this. "You say 'you're here,' but not really. Not the way I need. I don't need protecting. I watched you die. I... lost you, and all I could think about was that our chance was gone, maybe we never really had a chance, but we never got to try. It killed me."

Reese was frozen in place, unable to choke down the dry lump in his throat or to pull out the spike driven so thoroughly through his soul.

"I know.., you've been nothing but honest. I get your fears about enemies trying to use me against you, and believe me, I get the risks of your job. But I can't just stop my feelings for you because it's not safe. The threats - I can handle. And dammit John, how many more chances are you gonna get? You don't have to solely exist for the sake of others - this is your life too! You don't have to sacrifice everything good and just skim along the surface because you don't think your worthy. Happiness is a choice as important to life, as life itself. Love is a choice..," she whispered and closed her eyes.

Her anguished admission rendered him completely speechless and nearly staggered him with guilt. He'd come here tonight, determined to somehow free her of her pain. It was true, his fears had been holding them back, not because of his lack of love, but because of it. He couldn't bear the idea of putting her in more danger, but he'd been so caught up in trying to protect her, that he didn't realize what he was costing her. Her love for him kept her waiting, and hobbled by his hesitancy, only condemned her to an empty and loveless life. A fate far worse than his fears for her, and one he would gladly battle head-on for her happiness.

Having to hear how she suffered from Fusco was the punch in the gut he needed, hearing her now, was the final blow. He loved her with every fiber of his being, in ways and for reasons he could never even have dreamt possible - and that just made the situation more cruel to them both.

Truly, he had loved Jessica, but Carter was undeniably different. More. She was his savior, his soul mate, and for a million more reasons he couldn't let things go on like this. She deserved free and unconditional love...

And yet all he could do was stand there, so emotionally overwhelmed by it all, that she mistook his silence and began to back away.

In that instant, the terror of feeling her pull away, shook him to reach out and still her trembling body. "Joss wait." He nearly choked the whisper. "I came here tonight knowing nothing more than I want you to be happy. And you're right. About everything. My life hasn't lent itself to personal needs or fulfillments, it's been dark and lonely and filled with dirty lies masked under false causes. It's not an excuse, just the reason I learned to skirt the edges of relationships and stay detached - so I could do whatever needed to be done. Whatever the cost. But I never meant to hurt you. I'm so sorry I didn't see it - what I was costing you. I do now, and can't do this anymore. You deserve more. You deserve everything Joss."

"John I understand..." She sadly smiled struggling to keep herself together while parting from his hold. She had always known he was the victim of his own past, tortured and betrayed by it, and somehow he'd found the strength to crawl on until finding purpose and true friendship. He had come so far and yet she now knew he would never allow himself love. "I... I don't know what I deserve... But you're right. I... I can't continue to do this."

John's frustration grew with his own epic failure to make himself clear. "You don't understand... What I'm trying to say is.., from the first moment I met you, I knew things were different, changing for me in ways I didn't understand. You and Harold changed me, connected me to this world in ways I'd never known. And it's because of you I now see there is so much more to this life worth fighting for. I survived because of you Joss Carter, because I'm in love with you. And nothing is going to get in the way of that. Not anymore!" He met her tear filled eyes and gently pulled her into him. "I don't know if I can bring you the life you deserve, but I know I want to try - now, tomorrow and everyday we have left - let me love you." Knowing his words could never convey what he truly felt, he leaned down and captured her in a kiss desperate to show the depth of his love.

At first, ridged shock gripped her body, leaving her stiff and not trusting her interpretation of his heartfelt words, until the dizzying heat of John's affirming lips melted any possibility of doubt. She let herself be swept away by the moment and Reese's rapturing kiss, lost in his strong embrace and pressed into him with the drunk sensation of hearing the words she'd only imagined.

John reveled in the sweetness of her taste while feeling intoxicated by the immediate response of her body to his swelling plea. But he had to know - to hear her say - this was what she wanted.

A soft whimper of loss left her lips as he broke their desperate contact. "Joss," he panted, stroking a rogue lock of hair behind her ear, and held her with intense conviction. "I can't promise you a safe and normal life, I can't promise anything but my love with everything that I am, and I swear I'll do everything in my power to protect you and Taylor to my dying breath... If that's what you want."

Carter could feel the flooding rush of emotions swirling to her very soul as his words and their full meaning crystalized into miraculous truth. How long had she prayed for him to let her in, to open himself up to her love? How long had she dreamt of this moment!

She looked up into his soulful eyes as a stray tear ran from hers. "I never wanted normal or safe, I just wanted you John Reese... For a long as fate will allow, I just want you."

Reese gently drew her shaking hands to his lips, kissing each with a look of loving contemplation. "Carter... You and Taylor may be targeted because of me. There's no going back... You're sure?"

"John, I accepted that a long time ago. We are no strangers to dangerous and evil people. But why should we not have love because of them? So yeah, I've never been more sure about anything in my life."

That was all he needed for all his fears to fall away, leaving only the two of them, standing side by side, fated souls, always destined to be together and finally stealing their chance regardless of the chaotic world outside.

Reese swept an arm around her waist and pulled her to his wanting body with a devouring kiss. Their tongues dueled for supremacy - the battle given up as happily won - with each stroking taste.

Lost to their overwhelmed senses, the nearby wall made for fortuitous support as they stumbled up against it. John never took his lips from her skin, nipping a mind-numbing trail down her jaw, neck, shoulder, sending shivers of icy-hot sparks up her back and down through her stomach to hidden places previously stirred by fantasies alone.

Carter moaned her approval and let her head fall back in complete surrender.

The moans of sheer heaven touched his ears as he continued tasting Joss's exquisite skin, but as she leaned back and thrust her supple breasts against him, he realized he needed more. Skillfully, he slipped his hands under her shirt savoring every inch of her delicate form as he worked his beauty free of the barring fabric.

With utter pleasure he found she was wearing no bra and caressed her perfect breathes with masterfully hands and greedy eyes.

Carter enjoyed the look of heady-want that passed over his predatory eyes. She shoved his suit jacket from his shoulders and aggressively worked the buttons on his shirt, desperate to also feel his bare flesh against hers. She'd been so lost in the thralls of their heated abandon it came as a gut-wrenching shock to see the lingering bruises and stark white bandages still covering his body. "Oh John..." She traced the tape with remorseful fingers, embarrassed that she'd forgotten.

Reese grabbed her hands and pressed them to his wounds with a whisper, "the only thing that hurts.., is not feeling you touch me."

For a moment her voice cracked with emotion. She feared for him, with his above-danger approach, always rushing in without regard to himself, but she would never want him to change who he was, or had become. Right or wrong he was perfect. She loved him and would continue loving him, hoping that he would fall in love with more than just her, but life itself. She stood on her toes, placing her delicate hands against his chest and enjoyed the smooth angles of his chiseled body. "Then I'll never stop touching you." She promised and met his lips with gentle and yearning passion.

Reese bent to her lips, moaning his approval and quickly cast away the slow tenderness for his growing need and sheer want of this amazing woman. His Joss.

Their lips mirroring each other in perfect symmetry, while hands searched and explored undiscovered perfection.

John drank in her utopian form, running his hands up and down her body, breasts and back - flawless silk, smooth, strong and deadly. He knew it was like stroking a panther, but the cloaked danger only intensified his burning desire.

A lustful grin curled his lips as he undid her pants and slowly sank with them until they pooled around her bare feet. Kneeling before such a beauty seemed so appropriate, and took his breath away. Her cocoa skin glistened in the low light of her apartment, reminding him of a few erotic fantasies he'd conjured over the years. And soon... realities.

Joss leaned against the wall as Reese deeply traced his strong fingers up the backs of her legs and drew her to his greedy mouth. She sucked a rasping breath with the blindingly evident talent, nearly loosing her balance from the spinning head rush of tingling heat that spread through her body to her very finger tips.

Despite being a lethal killer, Carter reveled in the gentleness of John's loving touch as she soared on the euphoric wave, rising until she could no longer contain the explosion of dancing tremors within her core. She was lost, floating in a fantasy that had finally become reality as she sang out his name in utter release. "Oh... John..."

John savored every writhing buck of her blossoming orgasm, slowing and lightening his touch until she eased and sank into his waiting embrace. He rose to hold and nuzzled his erotic angel.

Joss leaned into him, her body limp and sated, but only for a moment; they had years to make up for. With a devilish grin, her attention moved to his belt, pants then boxers working them over his slender hips as she let them fall to the floor.

John toed off his shoes and socks, stepping from the forgotten pile, "Joss I didn't plan this..."

Carter took in the sight of his gloriously naked form. As amazing as the man was in clothes, he was even more stunning without. His statement barely registered through her haze of appreciation, until she met his eyes and realized what he'd meant. "Oh. There's no chance of that," She couldn't help but smile at the concern in his voice. "and I never tempted fate."

Reese's concern eased. "I've never been the trusting sort either," he assuredly grinned, "until now." He resumed his mind numbing nibbling of her neck and teased her skin into goosebumps of anticipation.

The idea of unhindered freedom only sweetened every taste and ignited their passion.

The last of their clothes were shed and tossed, left like a breadcrumb trail to certain rapture, as Reese guided them to the couch.

With a look of hungry awe, he encircled Carter's waist and lowered her down to the soft cushions, pulling away just long enough to drink in her draped beauty before bending to deliriously drew his tongue up her toned stomach, over her tantalizing scares, and to her full and waiting breasts. "I have dreamt of this, so many times, and in so many ways." He whispered.

Joss was honestly surprised by his admission, all this time harboring a private guilt for fantasizing so many of her own about him. His reverence made her feel suddenly empowered as she laced her long, shapely legs around his hips, and pulled him to her. She couldn't hold back the hitched moan with the sudden feel of his hardness and intense heat pressing perfectly against her ready folds.

Reese braced above her and held her eyes with one last questioning look. "Joss?"

Her eyes burned with desire. "Oh yes John..." she whispered putting any doubt to rest with the passionate vow. Her hands slide down his broad back to his hips in guiding affirmation.

With nothing left between them, no more fear, hesitation, or question, he lowered himself to Joss's long-awaited touch.

Carter sharply inhaled, arching her body from the exquisite pain and joyful delirium as Reese slowly moved into her, touching her very soul.

The sensation was overwhelming.

John closed his eyes, using every ounce of control not to bury himself in the full depths of her perfection, but he waited, gently coaxing her body, wanting her to relax and accept him in every intimate way before delving deeper.

As with everything he did, Carter felt Reese put other's before his own needs. He moved with such slow and worrying tenderness, she would have felt guilty if she were capable of forming the thought. But as her body conformed to his size, she eased his concern by searching for more. She needed to feel every wildly released part of John Reese. "I want you..."

"Then you'll have me..," he exhaled. When he saw his own emotions reflected back in Carter's eyes, he knew, no longer would he have to be guarded, nor ever hold back his desire and love for her.

Reese thrust himself in declaration, feeling a surging excitement at hearing his name spoken on a breathy gasp of pleasure as he gave himself to her completely.

Carter never, even in all her dreams, imagined it would be like this. He predicted her desires before she even realized them, and satisfied her in a way no man ever had. Could. Without question he answered her unspoken pleas, quickly bringing her passed coherent pleasure and enveloping her in boundless ecstasy.

Reese drank in his seductive beauty, riding his rhythm with both elegant grace and ravaging freedom. She kept nothing hidden from him, sharing her most intimate feelings with every unabashed look and meeting motion.

As with everything they did together, they moved in perfect understanding, as one seamless force of dangerous reckoning. But she was cunning too. John had to fight loosing control to her wickedly drawn nails radiating trails of control-stealing fire down his back.

He growled a threatening warning, dragging retaliating teeth down her neck and bite a tasting kiss as he drove himself to the hilt.

Carter screamed with the sudden flood of tingling sparks ignited throughout her body. She could no more speak than think as the orgasmic wave swept her away.

John's last shreds of control were instantly stolen when Carter gripped him in her fiery pulses of release.

They melted into each other, both still vibrating and panting with the exertion of their love, but relaxed in momentarily appeasement as they clung to each other's slickened bodies.

Carter snuggled against his chest, careful to avoid his incisions and bruises while marveling at how he'd had the strength so soon after his horrific injuries, far exceeding her fantasies no less. God only knew what the man was capable of at a hundred percent. But astonishing her was nothing new. Every moment with this man, from the start, had been either awe-inspiringly amazing or utterly maddening, but never predictable and never dull.

Glad to feel his taut muscles giving way to a rare contentment that blanketed them both in the warm embrace, she lay there, quietly contemplating her unimaginable newfound happiness. Part of her still didn't accept the truth laying right beside her, that somehow she'd finally fallen asleep, that this was a dream and she'd wake to the same lost stated he'd found her in. But she couldn't deny the feel of his heated skin, the smell of intoxicating body, the eyes that stared directly into her soul.

"I love you Joss Carter."

There it was. Change. Freedom. Their truth. She could only smile in stupid glee.

John inhaled, savoring the perfect moment. To finally be holding Carter as his, feeling her, having her, loving her... the way he was meant to, it was indescribable. His eyes slide shut in thanks.

"Was that ok? You ok?"

Reese chuckled at the understatement. "More than ok."

She smiled, "I meant, it didn't hurt you did it?"

He thought about that.., "mmmm only in all the right ways."

"Dammit John, would you just answer the question." She laughed in frustration, but couldn't handle it if he'd re-injured himself making love to her too soon.

"No, Carter I'm perfect." He nuzzled a kiss. "Anyway Finch has his squad of Gestapo doctors following my every move. Probably outside the door having a heart attack and ready to break it down any second." He winked a grin.

"Ok, as glad as I am it didn't hurt you, that's a really creepy image. Thanks." She laughed, suddenly feeling a wave of lustful desire. "You know.., there's only one problem with what we just did..."

Reese rolled up on his elbow in question wearing a mock frown.

"How can we ever top what we just did? It was... un-top-able." She giggled at her silly term.

"That sounded suspiciously like a challenge Detective. You know I'm not one to back down from a challenge."

"I know..." She purred.

"Accepted..." Reese mischievously grinned, pulling her into a deep kiss of renewed fire. "Bedroom?"

A sensual smile spread to her lips as she savored the lingering taste of him and answered what words didn't need to. Using her body's seductive gifts, she slowly rose from the couch, reveling in John's immediate responses as she drew him with her.

The storms had all passed, leaving a crisp and vivid full moon in its wake. John didn't need any lights to see Carter's alluring form as they kissed their way to her room. She smelled of sunshine-warmed jasmine, and tasted of honey-wine and salty desire, all drawing a wanting growl from deep within him.

As they lay across the bed, the silvery rays of moonlight spilled through her window, dancing a glistening path over her cocoa skin in stunning contrast.

Reese took in her impossible beauty, beside himself with a forgotten happiness and swelled to have her once again. To have her spread beneath him, to run his tongue from her tight breasts, giving pause only to tease hardening nibbles, then again move down her silken skin to taste her delicious bliss.

John moved to get up, until Joss gently coaxed his shoulders back down instead. "My turn..." She whispered with a glint of bedeviling charm then trailed her hair down his body until straddling him with a look of sinful intent.

Every inch of his well built body turned her on, called to her - it always had. He'd only become more defined since seeing him shirtless in New Orleans. Deadly honed perfection. Now her's.

Reese marveled at Carter snaking her glorious curves above him, tasting and exploring with her bewitching tongue and teeth while her hands found every begging inch of him. He was lost to her enthralling movements and maddening massage, and released a sudden hiss of sheer pleasure when she wholly took him into her mouth. He moaned at her tongues rolling pulses and wicked strokes, enjoying the mind-numbing sensation, but refused to give in to her heavenly torture. "Joss.., cum with me."

Sucking one last time with devilish greed, Carter stopped her un-hinging teasing and flashed Reese a look of dark yearning while gliding up his hips. She hovered, poised to wield her captivating control, and met his imploring blue eyes. With a soft whimper she descended, taking him into her.

Teeth bared, Reese gasped in assaulted delight watching his warrior woman begin to dominate and clam what had, in truth, always been hers.

Matching strengths, they moved in frenzied delirium, writhing perfection, each just knowing what the other wanted as working muscles and harmonious bodies moved as one. Together they again climbed to the peaks of pleasure, skirting along its edge, daring the fall.

Carter held onto John's broad shoulders avoiding his injuries as much as dizzy comprehension would allow, while continuing her tormenting teasing, taunting, and tantalizing until the desperate call of need escaped him.

The feral growl reminded Carter of the dangerous power held with waning control and nearly lost her's to the mere thought of him. The sound of his want made her burn, and build until she sank her hungering body around him and could go no further. Joss elated with the delight of his life's essence and hissing moans of release.

Both sated and spent, they collapsed in exquisite surrender. Neither their love nor their passion would ever be denied again.

Reese pressed a gentle kiss to Carter's forehead, wonderfully and truly too tired to think about anything beyond the Angel curled in his arms. He hoped he could bring her the happiness and peace she deserved. "You became a part of me the moment we met, Carter. I won't hold back, but I'll always protect you. I love you, and now you can finally sleep my Joss."

Carter smiled into his neck where she'd contentedly snuggled and rose to an elbow. His blue-green eyes twinkled with the moonlight and carefully watched her as she chased her finger tips over a cheek. She was beyond exhaustedly-happy. The confused tension, the pain and anger had all been melted from her body, and now she wholly felt those wonderful words lulling her into a love filled future for the first time in her life. "I think now, I will... John. I love you with all my heart, and no matter what life throws at us, I know you'll be there and so will I. Sleep well... my personal Vigilante and Man- Finally Out-Of His Suit."

They shared a soft smiled and leaned in for one more - of a million - kisses to come.

The end... (... they have to sleep some time... :-) but to be continued.

Author's notes*** I have no plans to kill Carter, at least not in the permanent sense like the show. I just can't fathom loosing that wonderful dynamic - and a very turned on John Reese.

I will be bringing things a little more up to date as far as using bits of Shaw and Root in some plots, but Reese will never share as much 'screen time' as the show is now making him do. ( POI is, and always will be, about Finch and Reese and their journey through this technologically convoluted human condition.)

POI Stories in order: 1)Energy, 2)Twisted, 3)Death Dealer 4)The Hunt ~ Hope you enjoy them as well!

Please R&R - It's candy for writers! Thank you all!

To the Guest reviewers - thank you! And I'm sorry I can't PM you personally to say thanks. I appreciate you sharing.

POI - I don't own any of the Characters, I just like to barrow and play with them for fun! ;-)