Author's Note: This "oneshot" is the first installment in a Glee fanfic series. The title of this series is: To Have Loved and Lost.

I almost opted to make this series of oneshots a single multi-chapter fic (instead of a series) here on FFN, because multiple fics as part of the same series is something that works a lot better on a site like Archive of Our Own (AO3).

On AO3, you can actually subscribe to a series and hit a button in order to get to the next fic in the series – the button is similar to how the "next chapter" button works over here. You can be subscribed to just a fic, just a series, OR just an author over there, whereas here there are only fic or author options, no separate option for series.

However, I ultimately decided that I wanted to separate the fics this way because each "chapter" focuses on its own characters. I just want to do it this way, with separate story descriptions & character categories for each "oneshot". So at least until I finish the series, you may want to add me to your author alerts. You can always remove me from your alerts at a later point in time. You can also just subscribe to the series on AO3 instead of adding me to your author alerts here on FFN, if you'd prefer. I personally prefer the site AO3 now, anyway. :D

Here is the link, if you want to do that: archiveofourown DOT org/series/126750

If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.

— Orson Welles

Finn's POV:

Finn had an excuse. He was too busy taking college classes. He knew now that he was allowed to get college credit for working with the glee club, but he was postponing going back to McKinley for the time being. He wanted to get through the first few weeks of his first semester uninterrupted. He had tests to study for, homework to complete… he couldn't really afford to spend time going back to the high school. The University of Lima was a fairly far drive from McKinley, and Finn didn't actually have a car when he was living at school, because the campus had no parking. So even if he did want to go back to McKinley, he'd have to get someone to agree to pick him up and drop him back off at his dorm. Schuester could handle leading the kids to a Regionals victory on their home turf, right?

Finn had no idea he'd end up missing out on one of Marley's original songs. He would've loved to have heard it, especially because he'd developed a soft spot for her more than any of the other new kids. After all, she'd been the one to help him realize that going to school to become a teacher would be the best way to follow his passion and achieve his dream!

But more importantly, he never thought that he'd actually miss Mr. Schue's wedding.

"I guess it's a good thing I decided not to come back," Finn commented, holding his cell phone to his ear. "I mean, if I had been there to see the club perform, you might have been stuck trying to decide if I should still be your best man despite me having ruined everything the last time." Finn tried to say it lightheartedly, but Will still picked up on the poorly shielded disappointment and hurt in his former student's voice.

"No, it wasn't like that!" Will assured him from the other end of the line. "You didn't ruin everything last time. Emma…" Will didn't quite finish his thought, and then decided on a new sentence. "It wasn't about you at all. She wouldn't have been able to handle that huge wedding, regardless of if you'd kissed her when you did or not."

"Really?" Finn replied, cautiously beginning to let himself feel relieved. He'd been feeling guilty ever since Emma had fled from the church on Valentine's Day.

"Really." Will answered. "For what it's worth, I thought about waiting till you could be with us… but we were just so impatient to finally make it official and Emma was ready, and-"

Finn cut him off. "I get it, dude. Don't worry. Congratulations! I'm so glad it all worked out for you, man."

"Thanks, Finn," Will said sincerely.

When they hung up their phones, Finn found himself feeling oddly proud of his mentor, the way one might really feel about a friend who was your equal. He cared about both Will and Emma, having grown quite close to each of them over the course of three-and-a-half years. He was happy for them and was glad they had not delayed their wedding even further merely on his account.

Finn spent some time considering what kind of teacher he'd like to be once he got his degree, and because of Will Schuester more than anyone, he thought that trying to work in a high school would probably be the place he'd feel most comfortable. He never had thought of his elementary or middle school teachers as very influential toward who he would become, and Finn wanted to be able to really leave a lasting impact on his future students, the way Mr. Schue had had an impact on him.

Finn grinned as he realized that he definitely didn't see himself teaching Spanish or History. Spending his days teaching subjects he never had fully mastered? He knew he wouldn't be following in Mr. Schue's footsteps exactly. He needed to forge his own path and figure out what subject would be his forte. Maybe he'd reconsider the elementary school route. He wasn't sure, so he put off that decision for some other time as he continued to take the basic classes for his education degree.

Only a little over a week later, Finn discovered that Blaine had sent him a private message through Facebook. Curiously, he went to open the email.

"Hey, Everybody!" Blaine's message began.

"I have some exciting news to share with you: I'm going to propose to Kurt! Gay marriage is now legal in New York, where we both plan to want to live anyway. I want my proposal to him to be the most amazing and memorable experience of his life… until our wedding day. In order to make that happen, I'm gonna need everyone's help! I've already asked the people still in New Directions, but now I'm asking the former NDs, as well as my old Warbler friends, and …"

Finn got the point and stopped reading. He'd read enough. Blaine was gonna propose to Kurt? Really? And have everyone Kurt knew in the world show up there? Finn wondered what would happen if his step-brother didn't even want to say 'yes'. As far as Finn knew, the two guys weren't really back together. Blaine had cheated on him and broke Kurt's heart, and Finn felt fairly awkward about the whole thing.

He didn't hate Blaine, especially since Blaine had been so nice to him while Finn had been 'in charge' of the Glee club in Mr. Schue's absence. Finn also knew from his own personal experience – knew from repeated experiences, with what Quinn did to him, then Rachel when they were in high school, and even Rachel again more recently with that Brody dude - that it was possible to forgive someone for cheating on you. It was. Finn has ultimately forgiven Quinn, Puck, and Rachel. And maybe Kurt was forgiving Blaine right now. Finn didn't know. Regardless, Finn felt a little awkward about this whole "proposal" thing. After all, it had only been about a year since Kurt tried to talk Finn out of marrying Rachel, and in the end Finn kind of had seen Kurt's point of view.

Finn felt like if he showed up, he'd be just one more person expected to be smiling and acting like the only answer Kurt was allowed to give was yes. Finn had things to do anyway. Staying at school claiming he had to study wasn't really a lie, and this way Finn wouldn't feel like he was pressuring his step-brother into anything. He knew Kurt might have complicated feelings about being proposed to by a person who hadn't yet graduated high school. He didn't want to make things any harder for him. And so he hesitantly replied to Blaine's Facebook message.

"Sorry… can't make it. Good luck, tho."

Puck excitedly blew into a noisemaker, which in turn emitted a piercing squeal. Then, he pulled it out of his mouth.

"Happy birthday, dude!"

Finn smiled. "Thanks for remembering. I can't believe I'm nineteen. I'm getting so old!"

"Just wait till you hit twenty," Puck teased. "You won't be able to call yourself a teenager anymore."

"I guess I better make this final year count," Finn replied with a chuckle.

"You have classes today?" Puck asked.

"I have a few, yeah."

"What about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow's Saturday."

"Oh. Right. Okay, perfect!"

"What's perfect?" Finn was getting confused.

"We're gonna go out tonight, stay up as late as we want, and celebrate your birthday, man!"

"Oh," Finn replied, all of it starting to dawn on him. The corners of his mouth started curling upward.

"I'll figure out where we should head to find the people who have access to booze. I had no other plans today anyway."

Finn rolled his eyes. Didn't the guy have a screenplay he was supposed to be trying to write?

"I guess I'll go take a shower and get ready for my first class," Finn told his friend, grabbing his flip flops, soap, and a towel before disappearing into the hallway.

Santana's POV:

"Oh my gosh!" Rachel exclaimed sometime in the mid-afternoon that Friday, causing her two roommates to turn and look toward her.

"What? Did you accidentally leave your Barbara Streisand shrine in class or something?" Santana asked sarcastically.

"No," Rachel replied, ignoring the snipe. "I almost forgot to call up Finn and wish him a happy birthday!"

Kurt's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, I probably should have done that too," he commented.

"I can tell him you're wishing him a happy birthday too, if you want?" Rachel asked, reaching for her phone.

"Sure, that'd be nice," Kurt replied with a smile.

Santana wasn't as close to Finn and decidedly stayed out of the conversation. She wondered if Rachel felt the same way about Finn that she felt for Brittany. That even if they were broken up… Finn was still the most important person in her whole world to her? Did Rachel still hope she and Finn would end up together someday? Maybe. She knew Rachel was single again, and that she'd slept with Finn back at Schuester's failed wedding. My sex with Quinn was way hotter than whatever they might've been doing, she thought with a devilish grin. Still, she realized, maybe the two of them suit each other. It was actually kind of sweet, and she was glad Berry was able to step out of her usually self-centered shell long enough to wish Hudson a happy birthday.

Finn's POV:

Finn had spent his Friday being a good student, showing up on time for all of his classes, turning in a few assignments, and feeling happy that he could get away with putting off his homework for another day or two because today was his birthday. Rachel had called him which had made him feel… butterflies. He loved her so much, and it really did help to know that she was no longer shacked up with that Brody guy.

He had eaten a simple dinner in the dining hall, truly enjoying what had been served that evening – tacos had been the main course. They'd even had pieces of carrot cake set out as a dessert option. When he first saw the word "carrot" next to the word "cake", he thought it might be a cruel joke in the form of food, but he gave the dessert a chance. He found it to not taste the least bit like the boiled carrots his mother had sometimes served at dinner, and for that, Finn was very grateful. Actually, it had turned out to be the perfect way to eat some 'birthday cake', even while away at college. It was a lucky coincidence that the dining hall had served cake on that particular Friday.

When he got back to his dorm, Puck was super-psyched for their night out.

"So this guy is having a frat party tonight, and admission is only ten dollars a person, and then we can drink as much as we want!" Puck informed Finn. "It's gonna be awesome!"

Finn smiled. "Cool."

They got to the party a few hours later, at around ten or so.

The music was blaring, the lights were low, and there were tons of hot girls.

"You're single, I'm single… life is good!" Puck exclaimed, immediately heading toward a red-headed chick, clearly intending to chat her up.

Finn laughed and looked around, not sure where to begin celebrating. He'd only been to a couple of college parties before, and one of those two times he'd been pretty busy playing the drums most of the time. He had enjoyed himself quite a bit at the other one though… especially since he'd gotten drunk for the first time and he'd loved that feeling.

Finn decided to find the place where the alcohol was freely available.

Puck's POV:

It took a few hours before Puck was satisfied that he'd had enough fun on his own. He had actually found a bedroom in the frat house where he could have a quick one-night-stand, which was awesome and so convenient. Both Puck and any girl he might want to hook up with only had a dorm to take people home to, and between small beds and roommates, those things weren't very convenient. This frat house had bigger beds and doors that locked, and tonight, Puck had taken full advantage of that.

As Puck zipped up his pants, he started taking to the girl.

"I better go head out and find my best friend. It's his birthday today!"

"Oh, okay," she replied, a little disappointed at him rushing away from her. She had known what she was getting into, it was just supposed to be a quick hook-up, but for some reason she was still acting like it stung. Puck wasn't in the mood to deal with her emotions, though, so he made a choice to pretend he didn't notice them.

"Hey, can you toss me my shirt?" he asked, spotting it on the other side of the bed.

The girl obliged, and then started re-clasping her bra on her own body.

When Puck found Finn, the boy was in the corner, his eyes completely closed.

"He needs to sleep it off," a random, drunk, frat guy informed Puck with a chuckle. Puck looked from Finn to the random guy.

"How much did he drink?" Puck asked, confused by Finn's unconscious state.

The guy laughed. "We found out it was his nineteenth birthday," he replied, gesturing around to a couple of his friends to help explain who the 'we' was. "So… we dared him to drink nineteen shots as a way to celebrate."

"What?!" Puck exclaimed, his eyes going wide. "You… you what?" he stammered, still not quite believing it. Puck glanced at the table behind the group of frat brothers. There were multiple empty bottles of vodka visible. It was unclear who had drank what.

"He was slurring his speech after way less than nineteen," the drunk twenty-year-old elaborated. "Your boy gave up after ten or so shots," he said, gesturing toward Finn, "so yeah, he certainly lost the bet."

Puck gaped at the frat member.

"How many shots have you ever drank in a row?" Puck challenged him.

"I don't know… maybe four. I'd never be so stupid as to take that kind of dare in the first place," he reasoned before continuing to chuckle at Finn's lack of common sense.

Puck wanted to kill this guy, but his concern for his friend reclaimed his attention. He leaned down over the former quarterback's tall, resting body.

"Finn, buddy? Wake up." Puck shook the six-foot-four boy, who in turn emitted a small moan.

"I told you, he needs to sleep it off."

Puck turned back around toward the speaker. "You really think he'll be okay if we just give him a few hours?" he asked, realizing that it seemed like this guy had a lot more experience with people drinking to excess than Puck did.

Puck didn't do vodka. Puck drank beer, or sometimes wine coolers because – and you can call him girly for it if you want, but it was true – he thought they tasted delicious, kind of like candy.

Puck knew he'd been to juvie and people might think he had more experience with all illegal things, including underage drinking, than anyone. But the truth was that he didn't even own a fake ID! And he knew Quinn and Santana had brought their own to Schuester's failed wedding – in fact, he had a sneaking suspicion that Santana was the former New Direction to go to for advice on most booze-related matters.

The frat brother reassured him. "Yeah, dude. He'll be fine. I've seen this. Bro drinks too much, but in no time he's awake. They're always ready to do it all again the next night!" The guy laughed, apparently finding the whole thing hilarious.

Puck hesitantly nodded. He was still worried, but he trusted this random frat brother's judgment.

He shouldn't have. Puck had no idea how much he would later regret that decision.

Author's Note 2: I can't believe it's been over a year without Cory now. I'm still so sad.

I actually have written a meta post related to this fic and why I chose for Finn's cause of death to be alcohol poisoning, and the meta also explains the timeline of the show as I've interpreted it for the sake of my fic. Since you're going to have to type in the URL yourself, and unfortunately this particular fanfiction website (FFN) has removed selecting and copying/pasting as an option, I've created an easy tinyurl link for you guys to type into your address bar:

tinyurlDOTcom/FinnMeta (change the DOT to a . though, please)

That will take you to my only posting of the meta anywhere, which happens to be on AO3! I would especially appreciate it if you left me kudos or a comment, even if you don't have an account over there – guests can do that too. It's mainly relevant to this fic I'm writing now, so I just wanted to ask any readers of this fic in particular to please read it if possible.

And like I mentioned in my first author's note, please add me to your "author alerts" so that you won't miss the second installment (or please subscribe to this "To Have Loved and Lost" series on AO3 as an alternative, link here: archiveofourown DOT org/series/126750 ). I'd also greatly appreciate it if you took the time to leave me a review. Thank you!

Installments #2 and #3 have already been posted, and maybe more depending on when you read this. You may read the next two "Chapters" of this fic now - the next two oneshots in this series. They're both linked to on my profile as well as in that AO3 series, which I provided the link to. The second one is "Puck Tells Quinn It's All His Fault - Carole & Burt Blame Themselves" and includes mainly Quinn's POV but also a little of Carole's. The third oneshot is "He Was My Brother" and is Kurt's point of view.)