It took what felt like years, but Mikan had finally finished the school day. As the teacher called out final reminders while everyone packed up, Hotaru and Mikan nodded to each other.

Passing notes to each other back during their first class of the day, they agreed to meet up properly after school and catch up with each other, and more specifically get to the bottom of Mikan's feelings about a certain crimson eyed boy.

"I want to say again how sorry I am for not telling you I was leaving, Hotaru" Mikan sighed as they sat down on one of the more secluded benches in the high school courtyard.

Hotaru smiled, she'd never hated Mikan for not telling her that she was leaving. Of course, she was upset at the sudden disappearance of her best friend and also extremely worried for her safety… but she was never angry at her. And Although Narumi had refused to divulge any specific information, he had promised that she was safe and that just maybe, one day, she'd return. Hotaru then did something Mikan was quite unfamiliar with, she hugged Mikan tightly.

"Mikan, you know I'd never hate you and while I do appreciate the apology, you don't need to feel guilty for leaving. I understand it must've been something extremely important – we all understand that… okay?" Hotaru pulled back from Mikan slightly to look her in the eyes. All Mikan could manage was a small nod, she wasn't very used to Hotaru being so.. genuine about her feelings.

They hugged again for a few moments before Mikan finally pulled away.

"Wow, Hotaru. You've changed so much in five years! I can't lie and say I don't feel a little sad I missed so much of your life but I'm happy to be able to be your friend again." Mikan smiled.

"What do you mean 'again'? Just because you weren't here, doesn't mean we weren't friends." Hotaru laughed a little, before adding "Dummy."

The two girls just laughed, happy to finally be together again and for a moment nothing else in the world mattered – just two childhood friends laughing away like old times.

Hotaru wiped her eye from her tears of laughter before settling her gaze back onto Mikan.

"So, tell me, what's going on in that head of yours?" Hotaru enquired.

"I know this is kind of what we were meeting up to talk about, but do we really have to talk about it after all?" Mikan sighed slightly. She was answered with Hotaru looking at her pointedly, telepathically telling her yes, we do. "Okay, well. I had this… dream last night. No, let's call it a nightmare!"

"Mhmm and what was this nightmare about?" Hotaru enquired, wanting Mikan to go with the flow of her thoughts.

"…Natsume… I think" Mikan confessed quietly staring at the ground. Deciding to get a peek of her friend's reaction, she glanced up and saw Hotaru's version of a surprised expression. "He was… embracing me and was about to kiss me but then I woke up. To sum it up."

"So, what are you feeling conflicted about?" Hotaru looked at her friend intently.

"Well, I suppose I'm feeling confused about how it made me feel…" Mikan sighed, "I was happy, you know? Being embraced by him like I was something precious to him, I guess."

Hotaru's eyes softened as she asked her next question, "So why do you call it a nightmare?"

"Because! He really hurt me, and I lived with that pain for five years all by myself and then he just expects me to swoon when he pulls me out of the classroom suddenly like that? It's not fair, Hotaru. Earlier, he even said he was sorry for everything! And I just-" Mikan stopped as she felt her body tensing in frustration. She looked at Hotaru, expecting her to have an opinion on what she had said so far, but Hotaru was just waiting patiently. Happy to listen as Mikan worked through her meddled mind. "I suppose my issue is that, I still really like him, but I don't feel like he deserves to be forgiven for always being so cruel to me."

Hotaru nodded, understanding where her friend was coming from. "You now, ever since Ruka and I started dating, I've become friends with Natsume. Can I… tell you something?" Hotaru glanced at her friend, careful not to say something to upset her more. Mikan nodded and so Hotaru continued, "I don't think one day went by during the entire five years you were gone where Natsume didn't think about you."

Mikan felt her eyes widen in shock as she digested what Hotaru had just said. Natsume thought about her every day while she was gone? Hotaru saw how Mikan was reacting to his and chose to continue.

"I can't tell you what the right decision or choice of action is here, Mikan. I don't want you to feel like I'm valuing my friendship with Natsume more than ours but, he really did change after you left, and not for the better. I hope… I hope that in the end we can all be friends at the least." Hotaru took Mikan's hand in hers and smiled at her friend.

Hotaru knew she had already said more than Ruka would've wanted her to, so she'd have to explain to him how she couldn't just leave Mikan going through such painful thoughts over and over again. He'd understand.

Mikan stood up slowly, her mind buzzing with thoughts. "Thanks for talking with me, Hotaru, I think... I need to go and face all of this."

Hotaru stood up too and gave Mikan one last hug before saying goodbye. Mikan watched her leave in the direction of the forest – probably to go see Ruka. She sat back down on the bench and with that, she was alone with only her thoughts for company.

30 minutes passed before Mikan stood up, a look of determination on her face.

Natsume hadn't gone to class that day, he instead had spent all day hiding out by the sakura tree. Well he wouldn't call it hiding, but he was definitely avoiding people. He'd felt terrible about how things ended with Mikan last time, even though he had told himself this time was different – in the end he couldn't stop her, and he stood helplessly watching her receding back. Thinking about it makes him feel small, a feeling he doesn't relish in.

He was deep in thought about what he could do to make things better, how he could show her how he feels, anything! He could feel himself getting worked up, he could feel fire playing at the tips of his fingers as he tried to breathe deeply.

"Um…" He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sudden welcomed intrusion of Mikan's voice. His head snapped in her direction, and he stood there, gazing at her.

Natsume didn't quite know what to do or say in that matter. He just stood there, shocked at her coming to him willingly.

"Hi." Mikan managed to say, feeling every nerve in her body prickle with electricity as she felt his eyes on her. After thinking about everything, she had decided that maybe she should talk to Natsume properly, one on one, before making her judgement on where they stood.

"Hey." Natsume finally replied after what felt like minutes of silence.

"I just came because… I want to talk to you about everything, I guess…" She slowly dwindled off as she noticed he was walking towards her, inching closer and closer. Feeling embarrassed, she averted her eyes from him.

"Mikan…" Natsume's voice sounded so vulnerable, and he was within her reach now. "Mikan, look at me, please"

Natsume's heart was heavy as he gazed at her, he had only ever felt such sorrow in his life once before when his family had been in danger, but looking down at her now, he felt his heart tighten.

Slowly, Mikan looked up at him. Her eyes were teary, for reasons she herself didn't completely understand, but she felt sad and tired. They looked at each other, and Natsume couldn't take it anymore. He closed the distance between them and wrapped her up in his arms. He didn't care if she would push him away instantly, he just needed to feel her in his arms at least once – just once and he'd be happy. To his surprise however, she didn't struggle or even try fight back. If anything, it was as though she melted in his arms. Her delicate frame finally giving in and accepting him. They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity.

Mikan had never felt so at peace before, she could hear his heartbeat and could smell his scent – something that sounded weird even to her but proved to be very soothing. Mikan slumped down to the ground, exhausted. She still didn't quite understand why she felt so compelled to come to him, when she had decided to hate him, why his embrace made her feel so calm and safe.

Natsume sat down on the grass in front of her, peering into her eyes. Feeling his gaze on her, Mikan couldn't take it anymore and tears slowly but surely started falling freely down her face. Embarrassed, she hid behind her hands, wiping at her tears. Almost angry with herself for crying in front of him, something she had promised herself she would never do again. She was ready for him to start making fun of her, teasing her for being so weak. But Natsume just took her hands in his, gently pulling them away from her face.

"It- It's not fair." Mikan spoke in a small voice, and Natsume's heart broke because he knew he was the source of her pain.

"What isn't, Mikan?" He cooed, trying to not scare her away or anger her again.

"Even though you were always so mean to me, and you never cared for me, why do I…" she trailed off as her tears started falling more, managing to continue between deep breaths. "I should hate you, I want to hate you, and yet… I can't."

Natsume just watched her, still holding her delicate hands in his, her felt like she was unravelling in his arms. He slowly moved and pulled her head to his chest in the hopes of soothing her. "I'm- I'm sorry, Mikan."

She just shook her head against him, not wanting to hear more false sincerities.

"Mikan, please, I'm serious." His voice trembled ever so slightly. "That day, that you left, my whole world crumbled. I always believed it was because of me that you left… and I've missed you so much. It's crazy how much I missed you, and then when you came back, you were so happy to see everyone but me… I know I deserve it, Mikan… but please, can we move forward?"

Mikan pulled away from him and looked up into his eyes, he was gazing at her so tenderly she wanted to believe him. She wanted to move past all the struggles they'd been through, all the torment he had put her through, forgive the anger she felt towards him that festered during the entirety of the five years they were separated. But she looked away, and slowly shook her head. "I… I don't know."

His shoulders slumped ever so slightly, and he felt his heart tighten once again. Here she was sitting right in front of him, and he couldn't break down her wall. She was closed off and he wasn't sure how else he could get through to her how sorry he was, how much he missed her, how much he needs her. He didn't even realise what he was doing till it was too late.

He let go of her hands and gently placed his own on either side of her face, making her look at him. And then before either of them fully understood what was happening, his lips met hers. It was a gentle, tender kiss. Mikan didn't know how to react at first, and she felt her whole body tense. But slowly, she relaxed into it. She felt her own arms reach up and wrap around his neck, pulling him closer. A bit later, they pulled apart ever so slightly, and gazed at each other. Mikan didn't know what to think, but she wasn't upset if anything, she was happy… She couldn't help herself from glancing down at his lips for a brief moment before looking back into his eyes, hopping he hadn't noticed. However, Natsume had in fact noticed and he couldn't help the small victory he felt deep in his heart – she had enjoyed that too.

He slowly inched his face closer and was so close to her he could feel her breath on his lips. But he waited, he wanted to make sure she also wanted this. His heart beat a thousand times quicker when he felt her soft lips press against his again. She had closed the distance this time. They kissed for what felt like hours, Natsume nipped at her bottom lip gently, and she gingerly parted her lips. He wasted no time, as he explored the inside of her mouth with his tongue. Mikan was hesitant at first, cautious of what to do. But slowly, she melted into the kiss and the feeling of him. Before she knew it, what started as an innocent tender kiss, albeit surprising, had turned into a passionate deep kiss that left her trembling and relieved she was already sitting as she wasn't sure if her legs would've been able to hold her up.

When they finally pulled apart for the second time, Natsume gazed into her eyes. He couldn't help the smile that spread over his face. Mikan noticed this, and audibly gasped.

"You're smiling!" She pointed out, smiling herself. Natsume felt his face warm up, and he looked away in embarrassment. Mikan watched him in amusement, noticing the slight pink tinge the tip of his ears had, she giggled at this, her heart swarming with warmth.

Natsume snuck a peek at her from the corner of his eye. She looked beautiful, mesmerising in fact, as she giggled to herself. The light from the afternoon sun made her hair shine brightly and there was a sparkle in her eyes as she laughed. Natsume barely managed to stop himself from saying it out loud, but she really is gorgeous.

Mikan finally stopped laughing to herself and noticed Natsume gazing at her. It was her turn to blush this time.

"W- what is it?" She asked sheepishly, feeling her face burn.

It was Natsume's turn to laugh this time, "After all that, you're embarrassed now?"

Mikan pouted ever so slightly and grumbled to herself. But remembering what they'd just done made her face burn even more and she whipped her head away, attempting to hide her embarrassment. Natsume laughed gently at this, and he's heart swelled.

"Hey, Mikan." Natsume breathed out her name, and she slowly looked at him. "Go out with me."

Hello again! It's been a few years since I last updated, sorry! Life just got hectic and I wasn't able to write as much as I would've liked. I'm sure many of you that started this journey with me have moved on from Fanfiction (and therefore won't see this) so I'm sorry I never gave you all the story you were probably hoping for But I want to finish this story even if it's been a while since I read the manga or watched the anime oops. Maybe I should rewatch? Lol.

Anyway, to those of you that are reading this now, I fully intend to finish this story, and I know it isn't a lot but I promise to update a least twice a month! I'll aim for more but in the cases that I don't, I apologise ^^' Anyway! I hope you liked this chapter, I'd appreciate any reviews and opinions – I was worried them kissing felt too rushed but at the same time it felt right? Idk lol anyway, see you next update xox