Chapter 4: Oh crap, you forgot to add plot until you were halfway done with the fic.

A/N: Not too happy with this chapter, tried to spit something out before I go missing for a week and a half.

Elsa and Anna had come to an arrangement, so to speak, regarding the feistypants' ickle tutoring. Once a week, they would meet for the appointed hour after school, and if Anna kept her hands to herself and made no inappropriate come-ons to Elsa, Elsa would give her a pass and fudge the grades to allow Anna to actually pass with a low B. If Anna so much as whistled at Elsa, Anna was required to do all the work she would normally be required to do, as well as work on memorizing formulas.

Six weeks into tutoring, Anna had kept herself under control once, and her grade was sitting at a dismal 37. Unfortunately for Elsa, this was improvement, so Principal Weselton [redacted] her in front of the entire faculty for her commitment and dedication to student performance.

And lo, on the seventh week, all hell hath broken loose.

Elsa was tutoring Anna as before, and the usual way, too—Anna was kept at the opposite corner of the room, as far away from Elsa and the door as she possibly could be, and Elsa would use her ice cream powers to create pneumatic tubes to send Anna her work—when Elsa looked away, for just a moment. Anna then decided to use her magical wormhole powers and leapt into Elsa's unsuspecting lap, knocking the professional onto the ground.

"What the—Get off of me!" Elsa shouted. "What the [redacted] is your problem?"

Anna giggled and started tickling Elsa's sides, because that's exactly what a sane 19 year old woman-child would do.

Elsa's screams of torment drifted down the hallway, alerting the only other person in the building that there was some funny business going on in the Chem lab. Kristoff Bjorgman gallantly galloped his way down the corridors, much like a valiant reindeer king, if reindeer had kings and if the strange pungent odor disappeared. "Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee, as he stuck his head in the door just in time to see Anna successfully pulling off Elsa's shirt.

Anna immediately teleported over to Kristoff, and snapped her fingers together, causing her to fucking light on fire. It wasn't just her hands, either—she lit up worse than a Christmas tree covered in hairspray.

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

"Blood for the Blood God!" Anna shouted, and charged.

"…Wrong fandom…" Elsa muttered, before throwing a snowball at her sister. Kristoff ducked.

The snowball absorbed its way in between Anna's shoulder blades, and the girl shrieked as she reverted back into non-crispy mode. "[Redacted]!" Anna shrieked again.

"…Just… stop, Anna," Elsa pleaded.

"Skulls for the Skull Throne!" Anna shrieked. And shrieked. And shrieked.

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

"Eulalia!" Anna shrieked.

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

"… Are you a fucking [redacted]?" Elsa asked, incredulity heavily laced in her voice.

Kristoff chose this moment to run away, and Anna chose this moment to stop shrieking, because really, that's the only word that can describe Anna when she's being a bitch. Elsa, naturally, chose this moment to get her shirt back on. The blonde then rounded on the younger girl, steam literally coming out of her ears.

Remember boys and girls, incest is bad. Especially when it causes cartoon vapor to become a Thing.

Anna closed the door behind her, and grumbled, "Stupid smelly boys."

"Anna, this has got to end!" Elsa yelled. "What do I have to do, to convince you to quit assaulting me, to quit molesting me, and to quit trying to get me fired?"

"Oh, so that's your priority! You just don't want to lose your job over True Love!"

"… No. I don't want to engage in a sexual relationship with my sister, who also happens to be in a position to get me fired. What's wrong with that?"

"It's TRUE LOVE!" Anna [redacted].

Tired of Anna's antics, Elsa quickly encased Anna into an ice tomb. Anna, instead of staying put and dying of hypothermia like a normal person, teleported home, and sobbed herself dramatically to sleep.

Kristoff quickly put up his cell phone when he saw Elsa leave the classroom, but he wasn't quick enough to escape her when she saw him loitering around. "What do you want?" she snapped.

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

Elsa scoffed. "Don't make me call security on you, Bjorgman. What is it you're planning at?"

Kristoff dropped his hands into his pockets, "accidentally" playing the tape he recorded.

"No, I [redacted] want to engage in a sexual relationship with my sister, who also happens to be in a position to get me fired. What's wrong with that?"

Elsa sighed. "What do you want, Bjorgman?"

Kristoff fished into his other pocket, discarded the first item that he pulled out (a couple of larger-sized condoms), and finally settled on his progress report. He shoved the sweaty paper in Elsa's face, and pointed towards his Chemistry grade. "Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

Elsa pulled a pen from her newly-reacquainted blouse, and added an extra point to his grade, pulling every single grade on his progress report up to a 100. "Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee, as he galloped away.

"… That boy has to die," Elsa muttered, before locking up the Chem lab and getting on her [redacted] and going home and having [redacted] and then [redacted] before [redacted] with [redacted], although [redacted] totally happened, and then she either [redacted] or fell asleep.

The next day at school, class was unruly.

"What the fuck is all of your problems?" Elsa yelled at the class as they refused to listen to anything Elsa had to say about covalent bonds.

"You need to get laid, Ms. Arendelle," Hans supplied. "No, seriously, all that tension can't be good for you."

"Um… female hysteria treatment was the product of an unenlightened society who knew next to nothing about actually treating female emotional issues," Milo Thatch supplied. He was quickly beaten into a pulp by Ariel [Do mermaids even have surnames?].

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

"Detention with Mr. Frollo, Westerfuck. Now get back to your fucking worksheet."

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

"Bjorgman, shut the fuck up. No one likes you anways."

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

"… Seriously, is that all you can say? How the fuck are you even passing English?"

"Uh… Elsa?" Anna piped up. "Kristoff's from Finland."

"He's from Norway, and they teach English over there. Very well, I might add."

"Well, maybe he's just one of them Rainman kinda peoplez?"

"...And you show the class how you're failing English with a 41," Elsa provided, completely ignoring that she had just openly violated three separate points of her contract (confidentially, discussing special programs, and professional language, if anyone was wondering).

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee, and his tape recording "accidentally"played.

"LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA IT'S FRIDAY, FRIDAY, GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY," Elsa yelled at the top of her lungs, to cover up Kristoff's slip up.

"I think class is dismissed," Anna said, and nobody thought to argue with her.