Chapter XXI:

People Such as These

After almost eighteen years of hard-earned experience, Carla found that the primary problem with living in family comprised of overbearing siblings and two parents with polar opposite personalities is that 'peace and quiet' is an almost impossible concept in a crowded household. Someone was always having their friends over for the weekend and making the living a makeshift bear cave. Someone was always playing their music too loud as they suffered through a mid-term existential crisis. Someone was always stomping too hard on the floors or making scuff marks on the carpets. Someone was always stealing the last of the Nutella from the jar. Always.

Carla had gotten used to these little imperfections in her family life, the small moments of bickering between her sisters and the constant teasing from her older brothers. The Nerf gun fights, the screaming matches over who got the right to occupy the living room for the hour, the backyard footy games of three-on-three. Life was an endless cycle of unhindered noise for Carla. Maybe that was why she found such discomfort in moments of obligatory silence; she was just so used to the consistency of noise that the quiet felt simply unnatural to her ears.

Without question, Sosuke was a quiet person. He mostly spoke only when spoken to, asked questions upon a rule of necessity and out of what Carla supposed was a general habit, blocked out background conversations with music playing rough his headphones. Music, music, music.

As far as Carla was aware, Sosuke ran his life on a schedule of music. He played it through his earphones at any opportunity, any time in which he wasn't swimming, at school or entertaining people who he either barely tolerated or loved too dearly to ignore. Carla liked to think that she was a part of the latter group, although she couldn't particularly pinpoint what Sosuke's thoughts and feelings actually were half the time. Mostly, Sosuke just blocked out everyone with music. Even at the most inconvenient of times.

The walk to Sosuke's house was a rather short one, at least in comparison to the distances that Carla had been forced to walk in the past. Sosuke grumbled in complaint all the way there, an earphone cord dangling from his right ear and his hands stuffed into the pockets of his faded blue jeans. They spoke little on their way to Sosuke's home, the enveloping silence clouded by waves of tension from their former bouts of bickering.

Carla felt as if there was something strange and unresolved about the nervous, angry energy that crackled between them like rogue lighting striking the ground in a heavy thunderstorm. Carla wanted to say something, to end the silence that was suffocating her with every waking breath. She hated the act of simply not talking, even though her boyfriend was more on the silent side than the talkative and her best friend preferred written words over spoken ones.

As crazy as it sounded, the very sound of people sharing conversation and laughing amongst themselves comforted Carla better than any care-package from home ever could. Somehow, the noise reminded her of her life back home. It soothed whatever homesickness came her way in a wave of memories cloaked in echoes of yelling, laughing and put plainly...voices.

Unable to take the uncomfortable feeling settling in her stomach any longer, Carla reached out and took ahold of Sosuke's free earphone, her fingers shaking and her head pounding.

She didn't know why she was nervous. The prospect of meeting Sosuke's parents wasn't necessarily a worrying thing to Carla, even if they were — how had Sosuke put it before they left the Sakura dorms? — 'upper class kind of people'. Carla wasn't completely inadequate in terms of handling the more privileged kind of people. She lived in a life in the shadow of a father who was continually wrapped in a web of sticky politics, his family and home life constantly in question as well as his party's values. But as much as her life was surrounded by media attention and false scandals, Carla couldn't say that she had ever gone without in her life.

If she hadn't had a choice, Carla suspected that she would have gone to some pretentious private boarding school in Sydney or Melbourne, like her father and all his family before him. The family house was one of three great mansions across the country; one in the outskirts of the Blue Mountains, where the family currently resided, one built on the fringes of Melbourne and another constructed on the Gold Coast as a family summer house. Carla had never gone without the extravagant pleasures of life. A flat screen on her bedroom wall, all the best technology cascaded across her million-dollar home, needlessly expensive clothing stuffed into her wardrobe, Chanel make-up, Tiffany jewellery. Money, money...money.

From a bystander's view, Carla wouldn't seem very equipped to live in the real world. Not with her three laptops, slick black Mercedes-Benz and fully paid university fees all providing by Daddy's over-stuffed wallet. There was a reason Carla's nickname had been 'Her Majesty' for the first three years of high school. She was the queen, as far as her shallow, egotistical 'friends' were concerned. Emotions and personalities didn't matter to them. It was all about the money, the possessions. Everything that faded and disappeared over time, no matter how good they felt in the moment.

Sosuke, surprisingly, was rather defensive of his earphone when Carla reached for it. As soon as her fingers even so much as twitched, Sosuke snatched it away without any explanation and grumbled indignantly, muttering furiously about 'invasion of privacy'. Or at least, that's what Carla thought he was complaining about. She wasn't particularly good at the 'rushed, annoyed and mumbled' dialect of Japanese.

"Well, someone's angsty today," Carla snapped, flicking her golden blonde hair over one shoulder with an emotionless chuckle. "You got any reason to be nervous and snippy on this fine afternoon? Note that the fact that you're bringing your somewhat hippie girlfriend home to socially conservative parents is not an excuse for such behaviour."

Sosuke scoffed, raking a hand through his hair and twisting his expression into his usual, unadulterated scowl. "Is there honestly any other possible excuse? You have at least one conservative, overpaid parent. You know what it's like. They have certain...standards when it comes to other people. Unachievable standards."

"Yes but difference being, I have Australian conservative-slash-hippie parents. Cultural differences apply here."

"How? Conservative people are still conservative people."

Carla shrugged, smiling despite her well-concealed nerves. "Well, my dad is the official treasurer for the Coalition and holds a seat in the upper house parliament. However, he will still down a bottle and a half of Bundaburg Rum when family friends come over for dinner. I'm assuming that doesn't happen every Saturday night at your place till three in the morning, now does it?"

Sosuke laughed, the action stiff and brisk in execution, and shook his head with a tight-lipped smile. "Not exactly. I think my father's more of a non-alcoholic type compared to most others."

"I can see that. Being uptight about alcohol consumption is a slightly-less-than-likely reason as to why you're so very secretive about your goddamn music."

Sosuke raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean my 'goddamn music'? What do you have against it?"

"Nothing. Mainly because I've never even listened to it, thank you very much. I'd like to at least know what you enjoy in music, just so I can stop concealing every Pierce The Veil album I own out of fear of your possible physical and emotional repulsion from it."

"Who the hell are Pierce The Veil?"

Carla resisted the urge to punch Sosuke's clueless face in and sighed heavily. "Oh dear God, we're already off the a bad start in terms of music taste. Really bad start..."

Sosuke furrowed his brow in confusion, his mouth set in a frustrated pout that almost resembled that of a five-year-old who had just been told that he couldn't go to jump out of the backyard tree like he had planned to. The next few minutes passed by in even more unbearable moments of blistering silence, Carla's eyes firmly fixed on the horizon as she tried not to think about the soft undertones and baselines that could barely be heard from Sosuke's earphones. Carla tried her hardest to decode what little music she heard, almost feeling like a maniac for doing so.

It wasn't classical, like she had originally guessed. The resounding rhythm was far too heavy and as far as Carla's limited hearing detected, there was hardly any string orchestra present in his heavy, bassline music. Guess number one, horrendously wrong. Ideas floated in and out of Carla's mind like clouds carried on the wind, variations of musical notes and rhythms passing silently through her lips as she tried her best to mimic the rhythm of the bass she was hearing. It wasn't any kind of pop music she had heard —not that Sosuke ever seemed like the type to listen to things like that— but for a second, it almost sounded like some of the things Rin listened to; heavy, indie rock with a few alternative beats mixed in. In fact, after a while, the song almost sounded familiar to Carla. Almost...

"Are you listening to Arctic Monkeys?" Carla asked, her mouth working against her brain as she spoke before she could fully comprehend stopping herself.

Damn it. Carla cringed inwardly, her hands bunching up into fists as she silently cursed herself for not keeping her big mouth shut. Her dysfunctional relationship with silence always seemed to get in the way of things, especially when it created awkward conversations created upon impulse. An obsessive and judgmental conversation, at that one. Music was a strangely sensitive topic to Carla, for a reason she couldn't quite name.

As he rose an inquisitive eyebrow, a smile tugged at the corners of Sosuke's lips. His eyes sparked with a sort of childish enthusiasm that had been buried under half an hour's worth of nervous anxiety and a relieved sigh escaped his mouth as he ran his fingers through his hair just one last nerve-racking time. It was almost comforting to know that Sosuke was just as gut-wrenchingly nervous as Carla. 'Almost' being the keyword of the sentence.

"Do you have some kind of sixth sense stuck up there in your head?" he asked. "Or are you just obsessed with my impeccable taste in music?"

"Kind of both, to be honest," Carla replied. "I'm just so goddamn nervous about meeting your parents, that's all. Gotta find something to distract myself from the whirlwind of bad scenarios dancing around in my brain."

"Why do you think I'm listening to music, Carlie? I'm trying not to think about my parents, who are undoubtedly going to interrogate you on political standings and table manners in their own boring, corporate way."

"Oh joy. Sounds like Easter at my grandmother's house." Carla smirked, nudging Sosuke playfully with her shoulder. "You still didn't answer my question."

"About what?"

Carla rolled her eyes, reached over and ripped his earphone from his ear with a quick flick of the wrist. Sosuke let out a splutter of complaints and fumbled with the fallen device as it fell, slapping Carla's hand away as she giggled in cruel delight.

"Touchy, touchy," she chuckled. "Maybe you should consider answering me next time, especially if you want your iPod to remain intact. And dry not to mention, with it's electrical circuits not filled with chlorinated pool water."

Sosuke grumbled in annoyance, holding his iPod protectively to his chest as he crossed his arms in defeat. "You wouldn't dare, Blondie."

"Oh, you know I would. How many songs did you say you had on there? Close to two thousand, was it-"

"You are one unnecessarily cruel human being."

"It's a necessity. All-girls schools are breeding grounds for bitchiness and bad attitudes. Now answer my question before I steal your laptop when we get home and never, ever return it. Even during exams. We wouldn't want that, now would we?"

Sosuke shook his head, smiling despite the annoyance dancing behind his eyes. For a second, Carla thought she had won but the defeated slump in his shoulders and the tired expression haunting his face hid his defiance against her. "Later, okay?" he said dismissively. "I don't think we have the time right now."

Carla frowned. "Why do you say that?"

"Because we're here. And unfortunately, my parents aren't really the kind of people who like the type of music I listen to, Carlie."

Upon laying eyes on Sosuke's overly large family home, Carla began to understand why his parents might seem to be so very uptight and arrogant. They were rich, excessively and undoubtedly wealthy beyond their limits. That was, if their house was anything to judge by. Sosuke had said as much, as Carla recalled, but she'd never thought of the extent to how much his father's business actually earned.

Sosuke's home out-sized almost every house in the area; a two-storey complex with very much nontraditional contemporary architecture. It was geometrically designed, grey squares and rectangles clumped together with railed balconies and high-walled fences that blocked the view of a gorgeously assembled botanical garden look-alike that sat cascaded across the front yard. The pathway that cut through the garden was carved out with sandstone slabs. Glass sculptures and abstract artforms were placed throughout the colourful greenery, brightly coloured flowers and delicate roses hidden amongst the overwhelming beauty placed in every particular plant in that garden.

Carla's eyes wandered restlessly, bouncing from one beautiful object to the next. It was hard to take so much in at once, with the array of colours swirling in front of her eyes and all kinds of pleasant scents confusing her senses. Carla was almost drowning in the beauty. However, Sosuke's gaze remained forward, directed towards his front door with no room for trivial distractions.

Carla knew what wealth felt like, that was for sure. She knew how people wasted it, how they spent it carelessly without thought. Her family were offenders of such an act, after all. Her eldest brother used to buy fast, luxurious cars like they were going out of style. Her little sister spent hundreds of dollars on vinyls and online shopping. Even her mother was not immune to the poison of wealth, having built an artificial lagoon with the money she had earned from her recent investments and constructed surrounding rainforest area in their backyard. And that was merely a tiny portion of the wasted money her family had spent over the years.

"It's kinda scary how much this looks like my house in Byron Bay," Carla muttered under her breath, actively seeking out Sosuke's hand. "Jesus Christ, I'm under-dressed, aren't I? My make-up's too heavy as well. Oh God-"

"Carla, you look fine," Sosuke replied, fingers laced between hers as he squeezed her palm reassuringly. "Let's just pray that my mother isn't being her usual self and we'll be okay. We might actually get to be alone for the better part of the evening."

Carla laughed halfheartedly, fingers squeezing Sosuke's palm and heart slamming against her ribcage. "It'll be an interesting night, that's for sure."

Sosuke nodded, gave her hand one final squeeze and then entered through his front gate with gritted teeth and his usual, characteristic scowl. He led Carla up the sandstone pathway, carefully treading on the hard, stone slabs so as not to disturb the skillfully placed plant life that surrounded them, and knocked on the front door. Carla wasn't sure what she was supposed to expect from Sosuke's parents after the visual display their house put on. But from what her panicked imagination conjured up, the reality wasn't that far from fiction in terms of appearances.

Sosuke's mother answered the door with a smile made of diamonds. She wore her high-neck, silver dress with elegance that Carla couldn't describe, her straight-backed posture and warm, welcoming expression that hid a look of calm judgement showing the fundamental symptoms of wealth and prestige. Carla breathed out through her nose, eyes turned downwards in an act of submission. She knew better than to stare back. She'd known since she was a little girl that you were to never look in the eyes of your elders, your betters, unless they spoke explicitly to you.

Everything about Sosuke's mother's seemed to shine; her hair, her dress, even her skin gave off a faint shimmering of silver decadence. It reminded Carla of her less-than-favourable aunt, her father's only sister, who wore six-inch heels everywhere and ate with her elbows off the table. Wealth made you aware of yourself. It made you conscious of your idle behaviour, even when you were hardly doing anything wrong.

"Sosuke," his mother breathed, her voice soft and hopelessly pleasant. "You're home. I thought you'd have arrived earlier but now I see-"

"Don't," Sosuke growled through his scowl, his eyes hard as they bored into his mother with an air of calm defiance. "Punctuality has never been my thing. Don't look at her and assume things. And don't judge her before you've even made the decision to talk to her like you normally do."

Normally do? Carla shivered at the thought of Sosuke bringing home other girls in the past, girls who obviously displeased his mother and inherently lowered her expectations of his choices in women. It's not as if you've done anything to warrant a better reaction, dumbass...

"I was only putting the facts together," his mother responded, her smile becoming more and more forced by the second. "If you'd like, I'll keep my assumptions to myself."

"You know that won't happen regardless of your promises."

Sosuke's mother sighed deeply, stray strands of her dark hair falling from her bun and framing her aging face. She was a beautiful woman, no doubt. With eyes perfectly spaced apart, a soft, oval-shaped face and a spotless complexion that Carla would've died for in her younger teenage years. But that beauty, despite all the expensive creams she applied and treatments she paid for, was fading behind a slowly rising wall of age. The roots of her hair were showing grey and wrinkles and lines from decades of forced smiles were etched onto her beautiful face.

It took a little longer than it should have for Carla to realise that she'd been staring, her eyes no longer angled toward the ground but instead looking forward, toward the woman that stared back at her with a look of outright offence. She was breaking her father's rule, glaring at those who knew better than her, but for what it was worth, Carla didn't care. She'd spent more than enough time living through formalities to know when she was the one being wronged.

"Do you two plan on arguing all evening?" Carla said pleasantly, her tone uncharacteristically light. "Or should I begin the walk home now, considering we may never get into the house anyway?"

Sosuke squeezed Carla's hand painfully hard, his knuckles turning white with the force of the act. He'd never heard Carla speak like that, her words so softly executed but with fire, they branded themselves into their recipient. It wasn't a voice she used often, even though she spoke it well, but her father used to say she'd inherited it from her mother, who was more quick-witted than she was gentle. He glared at her out of the corner of his eye, his expression screaming, 'What are you trying to do here?'

A gentle laugh sounded from behind Sosuke's mother, in a tone that sounded so very similar to Sosuke that Carla had to think twice before answering back. Appearing out of the darkened hallway behind his mother, out stepped whom Carla could only assume was Sosuke's father. Who looked so very, very much like his son that Carla had to do another double-take to regain her thoughts.

With a kind smile (that Sosuke had no doubt learnt to copy over the years), his father leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed over his impossibly broad chest and watched Carla in an absent-minded daze. He looked her up and down once, before he announced with a wide grin, "Well, I'm glad someone has room for sarcasm in this household tonight. Neither of these two have really adopted my natural talent for it and I doubt I'd survive the night without someone laughing at my comedic genius."

Sosuke was the first to respond, his scowl dropping into a playful smile and his teal eyes sparkling with a look of familiarity. "The only reason no one laughs at your jokes is because you're never this damn nice."

"Language!" snapped his mother, eyes ablaze with silent fury.

"Oh lighten up," exclaimed his father. "At least you know he's not a boring child, dear."

Carla bit her tongue and stifled a laugh, her hand coming up to cover her mouth in shame. "By boring, do you think he means pretentious?" she muttered, head turned toward Sosuke as he pretended to listen to his parents hushed bickering. Carla almost twisted her ankle as she dodged the elbow that jabbed hard into her side, which Carla could only assume was Sosuke's reply.

Sosuke's parents introduced themselves before clearing the entrance door, the general uneasiness sliding away as it became replaced with the friendly banter between Sosuke and his father, Hideaki. His mother, Kimiko, however was still stuck high up on her golden high-horse and pursed her lips before disappearing into her home in a mad dash of fury.

"Don't mind her," Hideaki assured them, ushering the two in as the heat of the afternoon began to sink in. "Just in a foul mood, is all."

"Isn't that how she usually is?" Sosuke grumbled.

"Don't talk about your mother like that. Especially with how much you worry her."

Sosuke's expression twisted and contorted itself, his unusually easy smile turning into a somewhat childish pout. "I don't worry her," he muttered under his breath. "She's just overbearing and-"

"She's a mother, Sosuke," Carla interjected. "And mothers worry regardless of how we, children, feel."

Sosuke sighed and ran his fingers through his hair nervously but nodded in agreement nonetheless. Hideaki glanced between them, the veiled understanding of each other's injuries hidden from his knowledge. Carla wondered how much Sosuke had told his parents about her. She even wondered whether he had told them anything else besides her name. Given Sosuke usual ability to remain stoic and non-communicative at all times, Carla very much doubted she'd be wrong in her assumptions.

The interior of the house presented a new onslaught of wealth-covered features. The white hallway walls were lined with a variety of contemporary artworks, the floorboards were made of expensive cherry-oak wood and a chandelier had been hung to light up the lobby where the staircase wound upwards into the upstairs bedrooms. Carla resisted the urge to run her fingers along the walls as she did at home, the roughness of the paint somehow keeping her calm and collected. As much as the feeling of wealth and money made her sick, a taste for luxurious, expensive things was bound to develop inside of Carla after her long exposure to it.

"An Equinox chandelier..." Carla whispered to herself, slowly spinning on her toe as she took in the finer details of the house. "Why did your parents use a nineteenth century design in a contemporary home?"

"Excuse me?" Sosuke glanced down at Carla as if she were a madman, her mutterings obviously being much louder than she originally thought. "Are you analyzing my house or something?"

"Not really," she replied. "Just admiring the expensive light fixtures."

"You're weird."

"So are you. I just don't say it very often."

Another elbow to the ribs was earned from that comment, however Carla anticipated as much and swerved out of the way before contact could be made.

"Trying to maim me now, are we?"

"Yes, actually. I am," Sosuke answered. "You and your damn chandelier fetish..."

"Whatever, theory freak."

"What did you just call me?"

"You heard me."

"Oh, you little-"

"Children." Hideaki looked back at the pair warningly, his grin becoming counter-productive to his tone. "I'd rather the insults be said through subtly hateful glares and angry muttering than through actual spoken words. Makes things easier for onlookers and albeit, slightly more entertaining."

Carla was surprised that Hideaki's head didn't spontaneously combust after Sosuke's death glare was set upon it. She almost felt as if she had to bite off her own tongue to stop herself from laughing at the sight.

The mosaic tiles in the kitchen made Carla's heels echo with every step. She held her breath as she folded her hands behind her, slipping silently into the act of the quiet, courteous girl who spoke only when spoken to and dared not make eye-contact with the gods that governed her. Carla didn't often succumb to snarky outbursts when surrounded by adults. Especially adults who were far richer than they were pleasant and more cunning than they were smart.

Carla's first initial smart-ass comment at the front door wasn't exactly the first impressions she'd been hoping to make. Wealthy women didn't respond well to having their ego torn apart, Carla knew that well enough. Her mother was the queen of ripping people's arrogance apart, especially when it came to the wives of Carla's father's work colleagues. That was the thing about expensive, well-to-do women; they all thought they were still twenty-two, youthful and ambitious and invincible. They thought they could rule the world, if they so pleased.

However, these women were not invincible. And they were not made to rule this greedy world. All they did was sip at priceless wine during pointless fundraisers and subsequently ruin the work of thousands of women who fought for gender equality by supporting a political party that belittled the opposite gender and stole away their rights. Carla hated the entitled women that surrounded her.

But that didn't stop her from nodding and agreeing with whatever politically incorrect bullshit came out of their mouths. Besides, it's not as if Carla ever had a choice in the matter.

Dinner was served amongst the small talk that bounced between Sosuke, his father and Carla. Kimiko found herself content in drinking her vintage red wine, French-manicured nails tapping impatiently upon the table-top. Carla could feel the woman's skeptical gaze bearing down on her, a single set of teal eyes set viciously upon her. They were familiar eyes, made from the colour of tropical waters on a warm summer day. They were Sosuke's eyes, undoubtedly. And the look of distaste that filled them made Carla more than uncomfortable with every passing second.

Sosuke must have sensed her discomfort, his hand searching for hers beneath the dinner table. As his fingers found hers, Carla squeezed his hand in what felt like a panic state and stared down at her meal. It was tonkastu, Sosuke's favourite. Carla couldn't recall how exactly she'd known that. And she wasn't given the chance to wonder as his mother began her spiteful, yet predictable, interrogation.

"You behave quite well for a young woman of your age," she remarked sullenly, tracing the rim of her wine glass with a bored expression. "Especially given what I hear of girls from your country."

Carla's grip on Sosuke's hand tightened, nails digging into his skin as she smiled without complaint. If she'd hurt him, it didn't show on Sosuke's face. He simply lifted his glass of water to his lips with a white-knuckled grip and hid behind an expression of mild interest.

"I...grew up in a particular kind of family, Kimiko-san," Carla replied, honourifics and all. "My father is a high up politician and major investor in some particular corporations. I was sort of...forced to have mannerisms and common sense from a young age. My brothers are honestly better at handling functions and bigger crowds than me but I can still manage at fundraisers and things like that."

"Oh? So your family is wealthy, I assume?"

Carla squirmed in her seat, trying her hardest not to contemplate throwing her meal at the woman scrutinising her. "Yes," she answered with a tone of finality. "We own three mansions around the country with surrounding property back home. The biggest of them is in the Blue Mountains. My family home."

"And yet you go to a middle-class school, do you?" Kimiko smiled, although there was no warmth present in that upward turn of the lips. "Curious predicament. Did your father never think to send you to a private school? Or were your academic skills less than desirable?"

"Kimiko!" hissed Hideaki, his expression alive with anger. "Be quiet-"

"Oh hush. I'm only asking a harmless question." Kimiko chuckled softly and turned her gaze to look Carla straight in the eye, teal eyes hard as steel and a smirk that could destroy the world. "Aren't I, dear?"

Carla was almost positive that she was crushing Sosuke's hand by now. She couldn't think straight with those eyes, those unnecessarily hateful eyes, fixed on her. "I-um...no. It's fine," she said, before adding under her breath, "I'm rather used to having my intelligence insulted by people who don't know any better. Yes, of course I am."

Sosuke slammed his foot into Carla's ankle and a muffled cry of pain escaped her lips before she could stop herself. She supposed she deserved that, even if her right to say such things was fully active. Carla didn't like being insulted just as much as the next person but there was something about the way Kimiko had said it, her disdainful words clinging desperately to the air as Carla thought of how to respond.

Considering that she had no choice but to play by Kimiko's rules, Carla replied, "I wanted to go to a school of my choice. If it had been my father's choice, then I probably would have ended up at Loreto Normanhurst or Sydney Grammar. Alternately, my mother would've sent me to this...experimental, non-aggression school in the Blue Mountains, closer to home. But I chose my school. And I chose it based on the teachers and the students and the atmosphere upon entering orientation."

"Not to mention that your ATAR score is estimated to be a 98.8 after trials," added Sosuke. "Nationally ranked in the top two percent of the country. Most universities would happily accept her if she manages to get that score in the real HSC."

Carla had to stop herself from gaping at her boyfriend, not just because of the fact that he knew her estimated ATAR score (which she hadn't even bothered to check after her exam scores had been released) but also that he even knew what an ATAR actually was. She was sure she'd never explained such things to him, especially in between all their sarcastic banter and frustrated explanations of English nuisances that Carla was hardly even sure of herself. Her rankings in national examinations weren't exactly worth talking about with Sosuke. At least, that's what Carla had thought.

Luckily, Hideaki was the one to break that painful silence that had enveloped them in the passing moments. "Top two percent, huh? How did you manage to study in between all your training? Or should I refer to it as rehearsals, considering that you're a dancer now?"

Carla laughed nervously, her grip on Sosuke's hand loosening. "Well, 'training' is kind of a generalisation for swimming and dancing for me. Especially since I still haven't officially retired from swimming just yet..."

Kimiko cocked her head to the side, nails tapping rhythmically on the desk as if in time with her thoughts. "Why haven't you retired yet?" she questioned. "Especially if you're as serious about dancing as we've been told."

"I..." Carla began, her mind trying hard to find the words that needed to be said. "I just wanted one last year of it. Before I gave it up for good, that is. Swimming will always be my first love as a sport, so I guess...I guess I just needed time to tell myself that my time with it was really over. That it wasn't going to be there for me anymore."

Time to let go. Swallowing hard, Carla continued. "Besides, I think you can understand my reasoning well enough. After all, Sosuke and I aren't really that different in that respect. This is our last year of swimming. All because of...you know, our injuries."

It occurred to Carla, only after she'd gone and run her mouth, that perhaps Sosuke's parents didn't know about her injury like she supposed they would. Sosuke didn't exactly seem like the type to tell his parents everything, even if he was as close to his father as he seemed. From the looks she received from both of Sosuke's parents, Carla realised that her assumption was most likely true.

They knew nothing of her original, dream-shattering knee injury. And in part, Carla was glad for it. She'd much rather explain the most devastating experience of her life in her words rather than correct what others had heard from second-hand knowledge. But mostly, she was simply happy about the fact that Sosuke hadn't said anything about it. He had enough sense to know it was a personal matter. A matter not to be shared but only to be heard.

The rest of dinner passed by with hushed explanations of problems past, Sosuke's fingers gliding up and down Carla's forearm as she explained. A singular, calming motion that kept her mind grounded. She doubted she'd be able to form words without it, that sensation of the pads of Sosuke's fingertips sliding across her skin in time to a phantom waltz. Five centimetres one way, five centimetres this way. Again and again, dancing fingers along a pale dance-floor.

Carla couldn't have felt more relieved when dinner was over, all questions answered with nothing left to be said. She could feel Hideaki's look of pity that burned into her shoulder blades as she turned toward the bathroom, excusing herself from the table. God, how she hated the pity. Carla never fully understood why people seemed to think that their constant affirmations of guilt toward her injury were necessary.

Carla couldn't have cared less if the people around her pitied her or felt sorry for her extreme misfortunes. It didn't make what she had done after-the-fact any less irresponsible. It didn't fix her damaged knee. Their pity only made them feel good, made them feel normal and compassionate. Assholes.

The lock clicked into place as Carla leaned against the bathroom door, defeated and so very, very exhausted with her evening. What she wouldn't have given to be back in her dorm, curled up beneath the covers with a warm chai latte clasped in her hands and her music blasting from her laptop. Numbly, Carla pondered what music she would chose in her current state. She rarely listened to music when she was upset, lest it ruin her previous experiences with the songs and artists that she loved so dearly.

And yet despite the nausea swirling in her gut, Carla still craved something with a little rhythm to calm her mind. Hozier, perhaps. Maybe even some Daughter songs. Even the classics of The Doors and INXS, which were usually Ellie's favourites over hers, could have made her feel a little less disgusting and somewhat used in the current climate. If only she'd brought her phone with her.

Carla leaned against the porcelain and marble vanity, combing her fingers through her perfectly straightened hair. She tried her best to think calming thoughts and remember certain things that forever gave her good feelings. Her mother's never-ending supply of Lush cosmetics. The smell of aging leather and antique books stacked high in her father's study. A lazy Sunday by the pool, nose in book and sun-soaked skin. Star-gazing on the roof during midnight rants with Ellie. Sosuke and his hatred of Shakespeare tragedies. Sosuke's lazy, halfhearted smile.

Sosuke, in general, was a pretty calming mental image.

As if on cue, a loud knock sounded at the door. Carla near jumped out of her own skin as the sound bounced off the tiles and marble vanity, refracting off the smooth surfaces like a tennis ball thrown at a wall. It took her a couple of seconds to collect herself, heart beating unnecessarily fast and hands shaking for no apparent reason. Carla was much more of a mess than she thought she had been.

Jesus, you're weak, Fellows, Carla thought angrily to herself as she opened the door for the inconsiderate invader of her thoughts. Who, evidently, turned out to be the absolute last person Carla wanted to talk to. Goddamn it woman, do you ever let up?

"Kimiko-san, I-um...I'm just thinking to myself," Carla stuttered, failing miserably in her attempt to seem calm. "I apologise if I'm taking too long."

Kimiko pursed her lips as if she had just tasted something bitter and folded her hands in front of her, her cold, calculating eyes fixed on Carla's left shoulder. Her formerly injured shoulder. Carla shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, eyes turned downward in silent surrender and lips pressed together as she stifled her words. Carla felt her former surge in confidence fade away in the singular presence of Sosuke's mother, the woman's powerful, demanding air forcing an emotion out of Carla that she hated so very much. Weakness. Feeble-mindedness. Fear, even.

Brushing stray strands of glossy black hair behind her ear, Kimiko sighed deeply and let that threatening aura surrounding her slender form drop. "You have no need to apologise, Carla," she admitted, the words falling from her tongue with an ease that Carla had not expected. "I just wanted to speak with you. Alone, preferably. Before Sosuke finds out and assumes the worst as he always does."

Carla chuckled emotionlessly, gripping the door frame so hard that her knuckles almost split one-by-one. "A penchant for the dramatic? Not a familiar trait for him."

Kimiko was quick to respond and she replied with a bite of venom that only fueled a raging fire stirring within Carla's gut. "It's a particular trait he's reserved for myself and myself alone, I can assure you."

"Well, I'm positive he wouldn't have done so without reason," Carla said, her words woven from pure ice. "Blind fury and vicious distrust don't strike me as emotions Sosuke's used to."

Carla almost regretted her words as they left her mouth, a harsh undertone lacing every word as that bold confidence filtered it's way back into her blood. You're treading on thin ice, idiot, Carla told herself silently. Stop whilst you're still breathing. It was a breathless warning, caution that fell on deaf ears. Carla could feel her defiance twisting in her gut once more, the return of that idealistic fire that her father loved so dearly. If only he hadn't suppressed it so regularly. Maybe then it wouldn't shock her so severely whenever it sparked inside her like a raging inferno of charismatic anger.

Kimiko, much to Carla's surprise, smiled genuinely upon hearing her bitter reply. Observing the older woman's ageing face, Carla realised that Kimiko was much more beautiful when she smiled. Not that she suspected the woman had ever been without a face of breathtaking beauty. But with a simple upwards turn of the lips, her teal eyes glistened brightly and her jaw relaxed, the muscle perpetually pulled tight in a look of idle boredom. Carla wondered if Kimiko ever smiled freely, her frown lines set deeper into her forehead that the smile lines that circled her mouth.

"I suppose Sosuke has spoke of me then," Kimiko said with disappointment, more to herself than to Carla. "I assume he spared no kind words for me?"

"I wouldn't know," Carla answered, stepping out of the door frame and shutting the bathroom door behind her. "He's actually never talked about you much. I'm just...well, let's just say I'm not particularly pleased with being insulted. And belittled and whatnot."

"Oh...that." Kimiko laughed softly, rubbing her wrist in an almost nervous fashion. The first actual sign of weakness Carla had seen from her that evening. Interesting, Carla thought. She cracks under less-than-appealing pressure. "I apologise if I came off as...somewhat harsh. It's just that Sosuke's previous choices in girls was less than entirely desirable."

"I assumed," Carla snapped. "What does that have to do with the lack of mannerisms around here?"

"Due to my experiences with past girls, I'm used to a little...hostility from them. And not the bold, sophisticated and confident kind of hostility that you exhibited at dinner. I'm used to rudeness and poor taste. I'm used to rough words and modern day styles compared to elegant beauty and kind smiles. I always thought Sosuke chose these girls to hang off his arm to spite myself and his father somehow but-"

"Why do you assume that he did what he did because of you?" Carla could feel a strange defensive anger building up inside her gut, the unwavering urge to give Sosuke the benefit of the doubt in an argument she only knew so much about. Today seems to be the day of unveiling family secrets...

"People make decisions without outside factors interfering. Sosuke's as much of an adult as I am. We're being forced to grow up and make life-changing decisions in the space of a year, decide our future within that year. I think part of growing up is also by making mistakes, mistakes that we learn from." Carla swallowed hard against the lump forming in her throat, the memories of her own past mistakes taking hold for a moment before she continued on. "Sosuke's perfectly capable of making his own good decisions. And horrible ones, if the time comes."

Kimiko nodded, almost solemnly as she replied, "The time has passed for his bad decisions, Carla. If you asked him, I'm sure you'd see that he's had his fair share of 'bad mistakes'."

Fair share? What the hell does she mean 'fair share'? Carla thought back to how Sosuke had comforted her as she reminisced her post-injury experiences, his words cautious and deliberate. I wish I could say that I don't know how you feel, he had said, memories unknown to Carla hidden behind his veil of words and calm expressions. She hadn't questioned it at the time, with her head still filled with thoughts of the past and worries of the future. But thinking on it now, Cara found his answer somewhat...odd.

What exactly did he have to hide? Given Carla's rather extravagant, albeit criminal, past, she doubted she would judge him for any indiscretions that went beyond the normal social construct of 'acceptable'. She'd probably be more accepting than his mother, who seemed to be laced-up tighter than a Victorian woman's whalebone corset. Carla supposed that it wasn't exactly unreasonable that Sosuke hadn't told her much of the worst portion of his past. But that still didn't shake the horrendous feeling of inward betrayal that she felt as she made her way back to the dining room.

She was being ridiculous. Carla could almost feel it in her veins, the aura of overreaction swirling in her blood. She wasn't usually the kind of person who obsessed over her partners, nor was she someone who worried over things gone untold. But for whatever reason, Carla couldn't make that feeling of unease dissipate with a smile and positive thoughts. She simply couldn't, no matter how much she told herself it didn't matter.

Her discomfort must have shown plain as day on her face when she sat down beside Sosuke at the dining table, fingers twisting absent-mindedly at the hem of her dress. Her mind kept on going, turning over all that new information and possibilities as if she were frantically sifting through an essay at four o'clock in the morning. Carla was panicking, in other words. Panicking for no reason other than idiocy.

Sosuke, being the unnervingly observant person that he was, noticed Carla's uncomfortable attitude within the first five minutes after she rejoined the table. Not as if it wasn't already noticeable to begin with. For in that moment, Carla was silent.

And that one defining factor was enough to spark Sosuke's attention.

There was old grand piano that sat sadly in a corner at Carla's home in the Blue Mountains. It was a large, grand sort of thing, carved from oak with the finest dips and curves in it's sleek black design. It was a beautiful thing, tuned to perfection and poised for a musician's hands to play it skillfully under the morning light. It sat perfectly motionless in the far corner of what Carla's mother called 'The Artisan Room', a large black blot on the precariously planned white-on-gold colour scheme of the pointless room.

The piano had been inherited from Carla's great-great grandmother on her father's side, or so she'd been halfheartedly told by her mother. It originated from France (just as all good-looking things do) and had come into her grandmother's possession upon chance, after her eldest brother had won it during one drunken game of cards with his friends. He'd given it to his younger sister as a gift, which had been passed down onto family ever since. Such a family heirloom should surely be treasured for generations to come, Carla had thought in her later years of fifteen. If only our family were musical, maybe then it would be appreciated.

Ever since she could remember, Carla would wander out from her excessively large bedroom every Sunday morning, bed-head and all, and sit herself down at the decades-old piano in attempt to learn how to play it skilfully. After all, the thing deserved as much. It was beautiful, in sound and aesthetics, and it was meant to be played by the hands of a pianist with talent much broader than her own. It wasn't meant for a life of stationary silence, confined to the corner of a sparsely decorated room for sheer effect. Carla would not stand for it. It was an abomination against the art of music. Against the beauty of rhythm and sound.

Despite the very factor that the piano went unused most of the year, it was her brother, Callum's, job to dust and polish it every single weekend. And almost every single weekend, Callum would forget to do so until the very, last minute.

He would moan and groan about the task for the first twelve hours of the weekend, mumbling indignantly to himself on the way to his Saturday morning hockey game. Carla remembered on one occasion, Callum had complained so much about the dull task that his best friend had purposely hit the cannonball of a hockey ball his way and given him a rather nasty black eye out of spite for his continued pessimism.

"For fuck's sake, stop being a whiny asshole and get on with the game!" his best friend had yelled, his obscene words heard by all who had sat peacefully watching on the sidelines. Those spiteful words and such a bruise should have been a faithful reminder of her brother's ridiculous complaints against a rather painless task. However, Callum seemed intent on rebelling against their mother's wishes as strongly as possibly.

So, naturally, being the obedient and considerate child, Carla was left with his forgotten job. And every forgotten weekend, she would sit at that piano, with her fingers covered in fine, dirtying dust, and press gently at the perfect keys until the sounds melted together in wonderous harmony. It was Carla's one singular moment away from her own thoughts and she cherished those stolen solitary moments with every well placed note that sprang to life from the keys she touched.

The lone grand piano in the family sitting room of Sosuke's home reminded Carla of her family's lonely, neglected heirloom. While it looked nowhere near as grand and majestic as her own, Sosuke's piano was elegant, to say the least. But with no evidence of prior use with the soft layer of dust collected over the white, carved instrument, Carla couldn't help but feel sad. Sad for the forgotten piano and the notes that forever remained unplayed.

Once dinner had final come to it's official end, Sosuke had practically dragged Carla from the dining room, away from the clutches of his overbearing mother and strangely amusing father. His grip on her wrist had been almost painfully tight, almost as if he were scared she would escape him and run off into the abyss of his maze-like home. It wasn't hard to guess what he wanted to talk about. Nor was it easy to avoid looking Sosuke in the eye after he closed the sitting room door behind him and familiar silence fell upon the air.

Instead of addressing the elephant in the room as most people would, Carla chose to look at the piano. She ran her fingers over the glossy, white surface and thought of home. Of her brothers and her sisters whom she loved more than she cared to. Of her mother and her optimism. Of her father and his protective nature. What kind of home was this? Carla wondered. What kind of childish adventures did you have here, Sosuke? Or were you always as quiet and thoughtful as you seem?

Sosuke was the first to speak out of the two, settling himself down on the fine leather armchair opposite the piano with a loud huffing sigh. "I'm sorry about my mother," he grumbled, tugging viciously at the collar of his shirt. "She's a control freak with an internal need to be right all the time. Even when it means making the rest of us feel like shit..."

Carla pressed gently on the A key with her index finger, causing sound to resonate sharply from within the stationary instrument. She kept her eyes on the keys as she sat down behind the piano, fingers poised over the lines of black and white. Without meeting his gaze, Carla replied, "Perhaps there's a reason for that. All people have their faults."

"It's not a fault if it was born out of spite for another person's business. It's an excuse to invite themselves into matters that don't concern them. Just like what my mother's done for the past two years of my life without consideration for me. Or how I even feel on the subject."

Carla smiled sadly, reciting, "See where he comes. So please you, step aside. I'll know his grievance or be much denied..."

"Oh come on," Sosuke exclaimed. "Don't recite lines from that godforsaken play to me! You know how much I hate it..."

"Ay me! Sad hours seem long." Carla began playing, her mind drifting silently to Beethoven's Au Clair de lune. "You know, for such a ridiculous love story, Romeo and Juliet is written so very beautifully."

"Still not an excuse for the overall creepiness of Romeo and Paris. Not to mention the non-existent notion of love-at-first-sight that causes a marriage within a day. Also, Romeo is whiny. And nobody likes him."

"Juliet likes him. Loves him, even."

"She's infatuated with him, not in love."

"And yet, she still kills herself for him. How tragic."

"And childish."

"And narcissistic too." Carla chuckled without emotion, her eyes daring to glance Sosuke's way for a mere moment. It was a poor choice, it seemed, as Sosuke's gaze remained as fixed on her as it had before they'd entered the room. His attention on her gave her the compulsion to speak, even if she wished she hadn't.

"So...are you going to tell me about your former girlfriends, who can probably only be described as 'bad influences' by your mother?" Carla paused mid-note, finally meeting Sosuke's gaze. She smiled mischievously and continued, "Or shall I recite more of Romeo and Juliet? Maybe add in some lines by Mercutio this time, considering he's one of my favourites?"

Sosuke shook his head, even laughing softly at the playful joke. "A plague 'o both your houses, huh? Honestly, I always preferred the nurse. So many references that lightened the mood of an annoying tragedy."

"Yes but dreamers often lie, remember? Sound like someone we know..."

"Rin's a horrible liar, if that's what you're insinuating."

"You're avoiding my question."

"Oh but I'm doing it so effectively. Couldn't you just let it slide this once?"

"Sorry, Sou-chan," Carla teased, "but I was kind of up for an answer today. Especially since the theme of the day is heart-felt confessions and all."

Sosuke scoffed, running his fingers through his hair in a rather obvious nervous twitch. He stood from his chair, his long limbs stretching out to full length as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and glared at the vase of tiger lilies that sat perched alone on the coffee table. "I didn't think you'd want to know about it," Sosuke replied, making simple excuses for himself. "At least, not now you wouldn't. Not after today, with all the things you told me about yourself and your past. It just didn't seem entirely fair on you..."

As if on cue, Carla's bumped the wrong key, causing an awful noise to resound from the piano whose place in tense air should have been taken by the continued harmony of Clair de lune. Sighing, Carla turned away from the keys and finally looked Sosuke in the eye for what felt like the first time that evening. He looked visibly nervous, to say the least. Even scared, to a point. Carla couldn't tell if that frightened anxiety was born out of a fear of judgement or shame from past actions. In a way, Carla didn't want to know, nor did she even care as to why.

All Carla really wanted was to be in on the story. The story of the past, which seemed to haunt so many of them like a shadow latched onto their backs for the rest of their days.

"Do you want to start at the beginning?" Carla asked. "Or are you going to be like Shakespeare and spoil the ending before the play has even begun?"

Sosuke shrugged and took a few tentative steps closer to Carla, his stance relaxing with every step. As if being in her presence relaxed him into a more reasonable state of mind. "Might as well take out the element of surprise," Sosuke answered. "Most people hate sudden plot twists, don't they?"

"Only if suspense isn't their thing." Carla reached out, grabbing Sosuke's hand softly and sliding her fingers in between his with a reassuring smile. "You know you can tell me anything, right? I'm not going to lash out about your life choices or anything...although I'm pretty sure you already knew that, considering I'm probably a worse 'decision-maker' than you."

Sosuke smiled, even though the nervous look in his eyes remained. "You promise you won't judge me too harshly, then?" he asked. "If I tell you all this-"

"Yes, I promise. Dear God, how many times must I tell you before it gets through that thick skull of yours? I'm not exactly a protected, angel child, if you correctly recall. I've done some pretty bad shit before. It'd take a lot to surprise me..."

"Honestly?" Sosuke's grip on Carla's hand strengthened, almost as if he was fighting himself to get the words out. "Even if I told you that most of the girls I dated back then were just...things to me? Even if I just used them as tools to get rid of my frustration with the world?"

Carla barely even flinched as the words escaped his mouth. After all, she hadn't exactly been immune to that sort of behaviour back when she was younger. Carla had learned long ago that teenagers were all selfish at some stage in their existence. It was just the 'when' and 'why' that varied from person to person. She said nothing in response, a first for Carla, and chose to remain as silent as ever whilst Sosuke began explaining.

"You know that feeling you get when you know something bad's going to happen but you can't quite seem to name the reason why you feel like that or how you know something just not going to go quite right? It's almost as if you've forgotten something but you don't know exactly what it was that you left behind."

Sosuke paused mid-ramble, his gaze drifted from the vase full of lilies to Carla for a brief moment. "Well, that's how I felt on the day that I ruined my shoulder. Worried...for seemingly no apparent reason. It wasn't until I swam at training that day, shoulder aching and my confusion amplified, that I realised that I'd gone too far. I'd done the worst thing possible. I'd trained so hard that I hadn't known when to stop and it'd cost me. It cost me so much in the end.

"The first initial remodeling surgery was hopeful. My parents paid for the best option without a second thought, even if cost them what felt like more than what was necessary for me. It wasn't as if we didn't have the money. My father's company was doing it's best sales at that time, so my mother rationalized their decision by saying they could afford the quickest option. After all, I wanted to swim. I was serious enough to make it as far as I wanted, at least professionally, and they understood that it was what I wanted. It was the dream I craved, despite the damage I'd done to myself. But I never really had been the most patient of people...

"Physiotherapy was...how do I put this lightly?" Sosuke chuckled despite himself, sitting himself down beside Carla on the piano bench. "Let's just say it wasn't exactly what I wanted to spend most of my free time doing. I understand now that injuries like mine, they take time and care to heal properly. But back then, I was just...I guess half of the reason I got back in the pool against my physio's wishes was because I was angry. Angry at the world for doing something like this to me when I was at my peak. Angry for having my chances at nationals that year ruined. To be honest, I was just a very frustrated person for a number of months and I'd had enough.

"I swam and the tear appeared again after only a matter of minutes. It'd been a stupid decision from the very beginning but I refused to convince myself that I was weak, that I couldn't swim even a hundred metres without undoing my initial surgery. That had been the first of my many, many mistakes but ultimately, not the worst of them.

"As time went by, I became more and more frustrated with the things that had happened. My grades began to slip as I lost interest in school. My attitude toward my parents changed. I became more snappy, unreasonable, harsh. I was unhappy, to say the least. Depressed even, if you want to go that far, but-"

"You hate the word?" Carla interjected, a hint of understanding present in her tone. "Don't worry, I hate it too. It just seems like an overreaction to the meaning of the word 'sad'."

Sosuke nodded, slight amusement playing across his features in a flash of emotion. "Couldn't agree more. It's just that kind of word that's used too much, so the meaning's just become spliced and skewed by people who don't actually understand it. My parents seemed to be a part of that group, considering every time I tried to talk to them about my worries and frustrations, they just waved me off."

Carla raised a questioning eyebrow, confused by his words, and replied, "Wait. But you're basically the best of friends with your father. I mean, I can understand not telling your mother maybe but-"

"My family wasn't always like this, Carla. Most of my childhood was based around barely even seeing either of them. I hardly even knew anything about them before my injury, considering they were always so damn busy with their outside lives. I was a secondary priority to them, no matter how much I tried to please them with good grades and national titles."

"Well...how exactly did you get so close to your father then, if he was always so busy?"

Sosuke shrugged, even managing a smile at the thought. "It sort of just...happened. I guess in between all the fighting and teenage angst, my father could see that I was struggling. The only times I ever talked to my parents back then was through arguments, so why wouldn't he figure out that something was wrong? One afternoon, I came back from physio in a half-decent mood, expecting the house to be as empty as usual, and instead, I ran into my father in the kitchen. And he was cooking. Cooking. My father, the all-business CEO, was cooking tonkatsu on the most random-ass afternoon I'd ever experienced."

"How thoughtful," Carla laughed.

"More like weird," Sosuke retorted. "And he was actually good at cooking too. Do you know how weird that was to me? Sixteen years I'd lived with this guy and yet, I had absolutely no idea that he could even boil water let alone cook what could probably be considered a gourmet meal. I was deeply disturbed."

"Oh I'm sure. However, I fail to see what this has to do with the awful girlfriends and what I can only assume was an experimental period of your adolescent life."

"Be patient, dear Carlie. I'm getting to that."

"You're a very disjointed story-teller, you know that right?"

"So I've been told. Anyway, back to my father and his scary good cooking skills. So that afternoon was already taking a weird enough turn without my father explaining why he had chosen to stay home on what otherwise would have been a busy evening at work. But then he did explain. And then the level of confusion only seemed to climb higher in my mind. He sat me down at the kitchen bench, his focus fully on me for the first time in years, and actually asked me how I felt that day. He engaged me in a normal-ass conversation after years and years of simply ignoring me and why? I don't even know."

"Because he loves you," Carla reasoned. "And he was worried about you."

"Your optimism scares me sometimes, Carla."

"That wasn't optimism. That was just a general observation."

"Will you let me finish my story please?"

"Says the person getting severely off topic."

"How many times will I have to say the word 'patience' before it starts to sink in with you?"

"About twenty. Maybe thirty, if you're especially unlucky."

Sosuke sigh heavily, frustrated with Carla's constant interruptions. Not that that deterred her from emphasizing her point, however. "I'm getting there, Carla," he snapped. "Can you please be quiet for a minute while I finish?"

"Fine, fine, fine," Carla drawled, her teasing falling short for a moment. "You're honestly no fun when you're in these moods..."

"Maybe because I'm trying to make a point," Sosuke said bluntly, sighing for extra effect. He continued but chose instead to stare at Carla's hands, tracing his fingers along her skin and drawing invisible patterns along her palm as he spoke. He couldn't look her in the eye, not with the words that lay heavy on his tongue.

"That afternoon, I got closer to my father than I thought I ever would. We were actually talking, for the first time since I was nine years old. It was so strange to me, the concept of knowing my father and knowing things about him that most people wouldn't care to know. It was good, for a time. Before I realised that my career in swimming was for all intents and purposes, finished. Before I finally snapped and let out all my frustrations through a...less than desirable method."

Carla knew what he was going to say. She knew that he was going to tell her about how he slept with girl after girl just to try and numb to pain of failure. She knew he was going to explain why, explain how he was depressed and angry with fate for being so needlessly cruel. However, Carla didn't want to hear that from him. She'd much rather say it herself, hear it said in her own voice so that the pity she felt for him didn't feel so fake.

"Girls," Carla breathed, her voice calmer than her emotions. "You wrapped yourself in physical comfort to avoid the mental pain."

"Well, that's putting it in nicer terminology than I expected."

"Doesn't make it any less horrific."

"You're telling me?" Sosuke exclaimed. "It was a horrible, inconsiderate choice by me and yet, guess what? I did it anyway. I ruined the reputation of the girls I dated, all because I live in a society that is not forgiving of those kind of mistakes. I made myself look like a dickhead and an asshole, all because I wasn't patient enough to let a simple fucking injury heal. I fought with my parents over my behaviour, which had slowly deteriorated into that of some rebellious teenager's. I fought with them over school, even though surprisingly my grades were as high as they ever had been despite a slight dip in commitment. I fought with them over my girlfriends, who changed almost weekly. We bickered and fought until we were all too angry to fight anymore.

"At which point I'd probably leave the house to smash up another one of my father's expensive cars whilst joy-riding or get into some meaningless brawl over insults like the idiot I was. I avoided the fact that my mother was often left crying in the kitchen for the son she worried wouldn't come home alive each night. I chose to forget that my father paid for the treatment of all my injuries every time I wound up in some hideous car-wreck, stayed up at all hours of the night to make sure I made it home safe and talked sense into me during every argument, even when I thought I didn't want to hear it."

Sosuke paused for a moment, breathing in through his nose as if he were gasping for breath. Carla watched him as he chewed anxiously on his lip, pushed himself up off his seat and paced the length of the room at a feverishly quickened pace. Sosuke seemed to be panicking, an emotion that Carla had thought was foreign to his immune system. He ran his fingers through his hair yet again, it's strands now clumped together and spiked atop his head as he near yanked it out in silent frenzy of emotion. Carla wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him and stop him from working himself into a state of visible hysteria. But she was frozen in her seat, hands scrunched into fists in her lap as she stared at the tiger lilies in an effort to distract herself from Sosuke's distress. Much to her annoyance, the distraction didn't last for long.

"I...I don't know how to put this," Sosuke continued."But...the anger and frustration I'd felt for so long...I-I realised that all the things I'd done out of spite for my parents' straight-laced, corporate attitudes had only...it had only worried them more than it had angered them like I'd hoped it would. The things I did to numb the pain of losing my ability to swim competitively soon felt like nothing more than time-wasters. And...after a while, the sex with all those different girls at different times, it...it just didn't feel good and...distracting anymore. It just felt-"

"Wrong?" Carla interrupted, turning her head to look his way. "I know what that feels like, I guess. The boredom sets in and you wonder why you even began rebelling in the first place. You question it all; your decisions, your trashy friends, your addictions and toxic relationships. But in the end, you end up just...you keep doing all that stupid shit that hurts the people around you, the people who care about you. You do it anyway because somehow, it still manages to take away the pain. It makes you feel less out of control. Less broken..."

Carla crossed and uncrossed her legs nervously, rubbing the tops of her thighs as she thought of something else to say. How to explain that she understood him, his thoughts and his worries. His anxiety toward the prospect of intimacy. His guilt for using people who deserved better than what he gave them. All the fighting with his parents, the judgement that he didn't deserve and the pain of being so unbearably alone. Carla understood all of it; she just didn't know how to tell him.

And so, out of habit, Carla retreated back into something calming, a subject that didn't cause emotional trauma: music, in all it's wondrous forms.

Carla walked over to Sosuke with her hands clasped together in front of her, stepping softly and quietly as if approaching a frightened animal. Sosuke stared down at the soft, presumably expensive rug he stood on, fingers playing at the cuffs of his jacket as his eyes darted from one luxury item to the next. He refused to look at her as she approached, her hand laid gently on his forearm. Carla cautiously stepped closer to him, his body as rigid as a brick wall.

"Hey, moron." A hint of a smile tugged at his lips, signalling that Carla was off to the right start. "Don't worry about it now, okay? The past is the past, no matter how hard we want to change it. What matters is what's right in front of you; your friends, your teammates, your parents, your future. You've got Ellie, who'll help anyone no matter what they've done. You've got Rin, who I'm sure would die if he saw you fall apart. And you've got me, musical and dancing connoisseur as well as walking talking failure waiting to happen."

Sosuke scoffed, softly running his fingers along her hip. Carla didn't mind. As long as he wasn't trying to hurt himself out of stress, Carla would never mind. "You're much less a failure than I am," he whispered, tracing patterns along the fabric of her dress. "You're everything I've ever wanted to be. Everything I should have been."

"I'm only me, Sosuke," she replied, sliding her hand up to cup his cheek. She tilted his head up, his beautiful teal eyes meeting hers. "Don't think about it anymore, my love. Don't think about it. Talk about something else. Distract yourself. What...What were you listening to on the way here? What music do you like? We never talk about the simple things like that, do we?"

Sosuke looked down at Carla's collarbone, his expression dropping into a look of sheer exhaustion, and tapped her rib-bones as if he were counting them, subconsciously. "But don't we always talk about those things? Sentimental stuff-"

"I thought we agreed not to think about it, my love. Music, just think about that. It doesn't have to be anything of a debate. Just pretend we're back at training of an afternoon, sitting by the side of the pool with our towels wrapped around us and water bottles in hand. Just pretend we're having a normal conversation, like always. Just talking, just talking..."

Sosuke paused for a moment, his gaze flicking upward momentarily before he sighed and gave in to Carla's little distraction. "Yes...I was listening to Arctic Monkeys on the way here, to answer your earlier question. And Coldplay. As well as some Japanese bands mixed in. All contemporary, alternative-rock stuff. I never stray far from artists like that...or whatever Rin recommends to me."

"Lovely," Carla smiled, pressing a gentle kiss onto his cheek. "I'm a alternative band junkie. Arctic Monkeys, Fall Out Boy, Pierce the Veil—all that good stuff. Some of the older classic rock bands are good too, especially the Aussie ones like Thirsty Merc and Cold Chisel."

"Never heard of them."

"You should listen to them. They're better than they seem to be."

"I probably won't understand a lot of the English lyrics, through. I can understand it when people just talk but singing...it seems so different."

"That's only because it is. I had to do an essay on the difference in octaves of the human voice during talking and singing for music. Which actually bordered on a science report, to be honest."

"Sounds like a bore."

"Kinda was. At least I didn't have to mark it."

"I pity your teachers who have to mark your boring, boring essays."

"Oh shut up, Mr 'I-have-a-collection-of-swim-theory-books-and-whatnot'. Who's the boring asshole now?"

"Still you, Carlie. Sorry to be the one to inform you of such a fact."

"What? Like me informing you that you're a nerd?"

"You know, I may be a nerd but at least I'm a cool nerd."

Carla couldn't help but laugh, uncontrollably and genuinely, as they both slipped into their usual sarcastic banter with a lot less trouble than she had anticipated. Sosuke's outward anxiety and stress soon gave way to an expression of content amusement, their conversation bouncing from lighthearted teasing to little, innocent confessions of their everyday lives.

Soon, the revealing of those facts of everyday living was turned into a little game between them as they sat on the floor together, talking for what felt like hours piled upon hours. Carla sat upright with her legs crossed, her back leaning against the large, leather armchair placed at the corner of the centered rug, and Sosuke had strategically laid on his back with his head placed back into Carla's lap. Nothing was too small a fact or too big a confession. Whatever came to mind was what was to be said, no matter the judgment that might entail.

The conversation jumped back and forth, from one aspect of life to the next.

It took Carla an hour and a half to get to school every morning, and that was only if she drove herself.

Sosuke listened to classical music whilst studying when he was in junior high school. And he most certainly did not regret it.

Carla hated the sound of pages flipping fast when someone opened a book and she could never seem to understand why.

Sosuke had once considered playing soccer professionally at a certain time in his life, even over swimming which Carla found almost completely unbelievable.

Carla hated the make-up restrictions at her school. People should be able to express themselves no matter what, she had always thought. Who cares if it's unprofessional?

Sosuke never liked team events until he came to Samezuka. Without Rin to speak for him, he'd always felt so awkward and alone amongst other people. He never realised how dependent he actually was on his best friend until Rin moved away to Australia and his written updates suddenly stopped coming.

Carla had almost decided to run away from home when her eldest brother told the family that he was moving away to join the Australian Defense Force. She hated the idea of losing her brother so much that she often threatened to disappear from family life, in the hopes that he would reconsider and go to university like their mother wanted him to. Unfortunately, her threats had never affected him. In fact, they'd only made Carla even more worried for him by the time he left for his first tour of the Middle East.

Sosuke had almost caused the deaths of two of his friends from Tokitsu during his very last stunt whilst driving underage. A vicious wreck it had been, all twisted metal and jagged edges, and yet somehow, all three of them had gotten out of it with relatively minor injuries. A broken leg here, a couple of fractured ribs and some nasty gashes had been the only evidence of physical scarring but on the inside, Sosuke remembered feeling as if he were screaming. That was the last time Sosuke ever considered rebelling against his parents and the confines of his injury.

The game, as expected, quickly turned dark before Carla had any control over what was coming out of her mouth. The distraction had turned into an encouragement. Carla could almost feel the tears welling up inside her eyes as she talked of things she thought she'd never dare speak of again and Sosuke listened, waiting patiently for his turn to unleash some secret buried deep within him. And the game continued on, until the sun had sunk beneath the horizon in exchange for the iridescent moon. Not that either of them really noticed. They were too busy reliving their biggest mistakes in life to even notice Sosuke's father entering the room, a look of pure exhaustion haunting his aged face.

"Well, well, well," he announced with a tired, lopsided grin, "it seems you two have been hiding for quite a while. Probably for the best, in my opinion. Far too much hostility in the air downstairs at the moment. Needs to cool down a bit."

Sosuke glared at his father from across the room, who had unceremoniously slumped down onto the fine leather sofa and stretched out his long legs in front of him without further explanation for his appearance. Not that Carla was really going to complain. She was in his house, after all. And Carla remained courteous, even if her grouchy mood didn't suit her tone.

"Has Mother finally made her point about my next supposed fling?" Sosuke snapped, every word soaked by a flourish of irritation. "Or are we going to have another argument about how she always assumes the worst?"

Carla almost choked on the hostility that vibrated through the warm air of the room, her fingers ghosting over the piano keys as she forced herself to think calming thoughts. Music always helped. The usual lyrical songs often weren't enough, however; they were too emotional, too raw, too full of idealistic ideas that Carla could only dream of being fulfilled. Orchestral tunes and piano numbers were her favourites for studying and school, even though it usually seemed as if Carla's music taste didn't leave room for 'soft, boring violin noises', as Ellie liked to put it.

Brahms Lullaby came to mind, almost completely out of left field, and out of pure habit, Carla began to play the tune as best as her fragmented memory could allow. It was almost comical to her how odd the piece sounded in the thickened, hot-headed air, with the argument of a father and son beginning in earnest before her. Carla had said it once and so, she felt like she had to say it again: "Why must teenage boys have so many trust issues?"

Sosuke's father grinned, his smile sparkling in his eyes. It reminded Carla of Sosuke, in the rare moments when he actually did smile. "Because it's must easier to oppose others than it is to agree with them."

"Mother would know an awful lot about that, wouldn't she..." Sosuke muttered angrily, pouting like a scolded child.

Carla frowned, her eyes set hard into the side of his head. "She's your mother, moron. She has the right to judge the girls you date. After all, you're her precious baby boy and no one is ever allowed to take you away from her."

"Exactly," Hide replied, almost sounding thankful for the assistance. "And you've given her good enough reason to worry in the past. You can't expect her to change attitudes just with the drop of a hat."

"Not to mention that you suck at confrontations. Even though it seems like you don't most times-"

"Oh shut up, the both of you," Sosuke hissed in reply, hurling a nauseatingly fluffy cushion in her direction. Carla ducked out of the firing line, giggling childishly at his offended nature. "As if you'd know what it's like to have overprotective parents."

"I take offence to that," Hide interrupted.

"Yeah, well you should."

"Seriously, Sosuke?" Carla exclaimed. "You're going to say that to me? After half the shit I've done, I'm surprised my parents don't have me under lock and key with a personal tutor. Not to mention that I have three older brothers who have basically been protective of me throughout my entire life. One of them is in the Defense Force, another training to become a police officer and another is a member of the Australian National Hockey team."

"And who needs parents when you have that!"

Carla glared at Sosuke, her expression hardly even changing as she chucked the pillow back in his direction, putting as much force into her throw as she could. The blow did little but startle him, unfortunately, leaving Carla to shake her head in mild disappointment. Some of the previous tension dispersed, leaving a slightly more hospitable air for Carla to breath. The evening wore on, with the argumentative state between Sosuke and his father never reaching any higher than a few snappy comments and singular icy glares before drifting off into a more quiet, controlled sort of discussion.

Carla zoned it all out, finding no more comfort to be found in the soft sounds emanating from the piano. She stretched out her limbs by moving about the room, floating from one corner to the next, and then finally settled herself down next to Sosuke as her depleted energy levels came down on her like a ton of bricks. Sosuke didn't seem to mind the company. He had sat himself down on the floor yet again and was speaking to his father with a distant, distracted tone, his gaze fixed on an object far off in the distance. She rested her head on his shoulder, breathed in his scent and fiddled with the decorative ring that sat on her right middle finger. It was only then that Carla fully realised how tired she actually was. Both physically and emotionally.

Suddenly, Carla didn't want to talk about her brothers, or her sisters, or her family in general. She just wanted to sleep. Sleep away the relived memories of days long past and sleep away the torment that had been laid beneath every explanation. Carla felt like she could sleep for days, curled up beneath the covers with warmth encircling her and Sosuke's scent imprinted on her pillow. Oh, how it was so cliche of her to love his scent. Not that Carla particularly cared about what was cliched or not. It was Sosuke, after all, and almost everything about him was calming. Well, usually calming. In her exhaustion induced-daze, Carla sympathised with Ellie; explaining oneself and one's actions is even more soul-draining than it looks. Infinitely harder than it seems.

The day had been long, longer than any day had ever felt, and with every whispered confession, Carla could feel a little part of herself slipping away, as if her secrets were somehow connected to her. Nourishing her, making her feel safe. Every little secret she had kept hidden inside her had been built up like a wall, a fortress of defense against anyone who dared ask anything of her. It had protected her whole-heartedly for so long that Carla could almost feel those walls crumbling around her, her defense weakened by her affections and her trust for Sosuke.

Carla shivered at the thought, rubbing the exhaustion from her eyes as she yawned. Maybe all this was just the exhaustion talking. Carla sure hoped it was. People have been locked up in institutions for less.

"You look like you could use a night's rest," Sosuke muttered, lacing his fingers through hers almost on instinct. "Or maybe a week of sleeping, if that's how you wanna play it."

"Mm..." Carla groaned, absent-mindedly rubbing her cheek into Sosuke's shoulder. "I'll hold you to that offer. Don't think I won't..."

"You can hardly even hold your own head up, let alone hold up an offer."

"Oh shut up, moron..." Carla yawned, her thoughts stunted by the very action. God, since when did I get this tired?

Hide stood from his seat on the sofa, a soft smile still polluting his expression as he said, "You two should probably get to bed. It's far too dark to walk back to the school now. I'd rather know that the both of you are safe here than out wandering in the middle of the night."

Sosuke tensed, a scowl glazing over his face. "We're both perfectly capable-"

"Sou, don't. I'm too tired to walk." Carla could hardly control what she was saying anymore. Did I really just call him Sou? Since when have I given him that nickname? "Don't argue with your dad, okay? Let's just go to sleep. I kinda want to sleep if you don't mind-"

"Alright, alright, Carlie. I get the message. We'll stay. We'll sleep here." Sosuke sighed impatiently and kissed her hair gently, before he looked up to his father and asked, "Are one of the spare rooms set up or..."

The very thought of leaving the brilliant, calming warmth of Sosuke's arms was enough to give Carla a brief spark of unused energy, fuelled by inner annoyance that bubbled inside of her. This energy was unfortunately wasted as Carla chose to jab her boyfriend in the ribs for even so much as thinking he could get her to detach herself from him now. She was tired, grouchy and ever so slightly emotionally scarred. All Carla really wanted was a bed and the irreplaceable comfort of being wrapped in someone's arms as she fell asleep. And, as unfortunate for him as it may have been, Sosuke's arms were the most preferable and easily accessible comfort at the time.

Carla couldn't quite recall what happened after that. Her mind had turned into an indecipherable mush, a mixture of jumbled words and emotions that had found no permanent place in her mind. Her next conscious moment was a little more sobering; forcing herself to remove her make-up and change into clothes that were actually comfortable to sleep in. And those clothes, annoyingly, were Sosuke's.

"Okay, Sosuke, I knew you were broad-shouldered and well-built and all that shit but that is still no explanation as to why this shirt basically almost reaches my knees."

Sosuke didn't respond as he rifled through his dresser. His shirt have been tossed carelessly over the edge of his desk chair, his chest bare and his annoyance alive in his posture. The thing that was annoying him, however, was the most jarring sight of all.

His shoulder brace, strapped tight across his back and over his opposite shoulder, severely limited his field of movement. He yanked and pulled at it, muttering angry nonsense under his breath with every violent slam of his drawers. After a long futile search for some unknown object, Sosuke snatched a t-shirt from his top drawer, shoved it shut and then slung it over his head with a sudden jerk of his shoulder. He hissed in pain, silent agony alive in the ocean of his eyes, and shook his head before sitting down on the edge of his bed with his shoulders slumped in defeat.

Carla forgot herself for a moment as she watched him, the very sight of him in such a vulnerable state stealing the air from her lungs and leaving her choking on the shock clawing at her throat. She'd never seen Sosuke like this; so unsure of himself, confidence shattered and his life dreams turned to ashes in his mouth. Carla wished she could comfort him properly, tell him that it would all be alright in the end and that this was just an insignificant blimp in his life that would all equate to nothing in time. But in truth, despite her extensive knowledge of injury-based depression, Carla had no idea of how to make Sosuke feel any better about himself. Absolutely no idea. Despite this fact, Carla didn't find it difficult to approach him, her step light as she wandered across the carpet and her voice silent.

"I don't...I can't think of anythi..." Sosuke shook his head vigorously, tugging feverishly at the strands of his hair and avoiding Carla's gaze. "Carla, tell me something. When you...when you were in that dark place, so to speak...did you know that it would even get better? Or was it always just...this constant sense of dread? Like everything was wrong and-"

"Don't think about the bad shit," Carla interjected, her tone flat and emotionless as she reached out to him, fingers grazing his cheek. "Just play the game. One confession at a time. Don't think about your shoulder or the pain, okay? Just play the game."

Sosuke smiled sadly and pulled Carla close to his side, his head resting against her stomach as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "You go first."

Carla breathed out through her mouth, inhaled sharply and spoke softly. "Confession number one: I...I don't ever want to leave this place. I'm afraid it will break me. Just like last time..."

Sosuke's arms tightened around her, as if on instinct. "My turn," he announced, speaking almost in a whisper. "Confession number one: I feel like the moment we leave this moment...everything will just crumble down around us."

"Why?"

"Because soon enough, you'll be gone and I won't know what to do with my adult life anymore. I'll join my father's company without question and you'll forget me and move on-"

"I thought we weren't going to talk about the bad shit, Sosuke."

"I think we're way past that, Carlie."

Carlie. God, that nickname will be the very death of me, won't it? Without another word, the two of them crawled into bed and pulled the covers over their heads, foreheads touching and fingers tracing as they spoke in silent, whispering tones and kissing gently in the darkness. Carla had been true in her confession. She didn't ever want to leave this place, this blissful moment of joy with the boy she loved. It was almost criminal how unfair the situation seemed to her; she had finally found someone who she trusted, someone who she could speak to without restraint or fear of judgement, and she was going to have to leave him behind in pursuit of her dream. Her new, beautiful little dream...

"Hey, Carlie. You haven't fallen asleep on me have you?"

Carla awoke from her daydream with an inaudible gasp, her mind racing and her eyelids heavy with sleep. "Almost, my love," she replied, pressing a gentle kiss onto Sosuke's jaw. "Just thinking of some things. Escape plans and whatnot."

"Escape plans?" Sosuke chuckled, holding Carla closer to his chest as he said, "I'd like to hear one of those right now. Might make me feel a little more optimistic about the next few months."

Carla smiled brightly and replied, "How about we run away to Paris like every lovesick couple these days? I could sell my contemporary artworks to cheap-ass art dealers and you could work in a tiny French cafe, considering you cook so damn well."

"Problem being that neither of us speak French."

"It's not as if we couldn't learn how to speak the local dialect. With time and patience."

"And very little money, after being disinherited from both our parents."

"Oh, the scandal! The rude unthankfulness of youth!"

"What ever shall our families ever do with such disgraceful children?!"

"Hunt them down and tear them apart, perhaps. If they're motivated enough." Carla giggled as Sosuke kissed her, smiling through the joking and the harsh stabbing pain that punched her hard in the chest. If only running away were the simple solution, as if neither of them had any commitments or promises made to others. If only life were that simplistic and uneventful...

Their light-hearted kissing ceased after a few minutes, exhaustion creeping up on them both as their breathing slowly began to even out. In those subtle moments of silence, Carla thought of something she never presumed to want to think about ever again: Romeo and Juliet.

"Come, gentle night. Come, loving, black-browed night," recited Carla, her whispers slicing through the silence like a hot knife through butter. "Give me my Romeo. And when I shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars. And he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun."

Sosuke groaned in a less than elegant fashion and jabbed Carla painfully hard in the ribs. Apparently, he had been conscious enough to hear her speak. What a shame. "I get that you love me, you giant dork, but I really don't need that stupid play shoved in my face for extra measure. Had enough of it already with it's cryptic language and whatnot."

"Not to mention the ridiculous proclamations of love backed up by various deaths and suicides."

"It's all so cheery, isn't it? Can I go to sleep now?"

"Maybe. But answer a question for me first."

"If it's about Shakespeare, you're sleeping on the balcony."

"Come on, be serious for a second," Carla said, her face close to his and her smile faded with the heavy burden of her worries. "I just...what happens at the end of the month? After Nationals are over and I have to leave to live out the last two weeks of my school life and then do the exams that'll determine the rest of my life? What do we do after...after everything just stops?"

Sosuke remained silent for a few moments, as if pondering the consequences of answering her question as plainly as possible. As truthfully as he could. Carla near cringed at the thought. Because as much as she wanted to be real about their situation, she didn't want to hear the truth sounded out to her. The truth was too painful, too real, too suffocating for her to even consider. We'll make this work, she thought. We just have to find a way.

But with every second of silence that passed, Carla could feel her usual optimism dying inside her. And Sosuke, as resourceful as he was, couldn't seem to find a solution to their problem.

"I don't want to say goodbye," Carla whispered, fearful tears collecting in her eyes. "I don't want this part of my life to just be a memory. I don't, I don't, I don't..."

Sosuke ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead. His movements were robotic, planned and deliberate. They were executed without feeling, without proper emotion or consequence. Sosuke was hiding his feelings, that was clear enough, but Carla couldn't possibly understand why.

"Run away with me," she breathed, speaking out in panic. "Come to New York with me. Study physiotherapy or sports-orientated psychology. I know how much you like to help others-"

"Who told you that?" Sosuke asked, his tone flat and unwavering.

"You honestly think I don't know about how you're giving Ai extra coaching lessons behind my back?" Sosuke's eyes widened, a strange sort of fear alight in his helplessly beautiful irises. "I saw you reading through my coaching notes for the club, Sosuke. I'm not clueless. You like coaching, giving others advice."

"I only do those things to prevent what happened to me from happening to others. That doesn't mean I want to make a career out of my obsession."

Carla bit her lip and swallowed her words, shrinking back into herself as Sosuke's words corroded her fragile boldness. "I never said it was an obsession," she muttered. "I just thought that it might make you happier. To help others when they're too broken to help themselves..."

Sosuke, defeated, sighed heavily, threw the covers back and sat up in bed, leaning his back against the headboard as he ran a hand through his hair in his now entirely noticeable nervous twitch. Carla rolled onto her stomach, hair hanging loose on either side of her face, and looked up at him expectantly. For whatever reason, Carla found that her exhaustion had momentarily subsided, replaced by a sort of sleep-deprived alertness that she couldn't quite explain.

Sosuke stared across the room as he spoke, avoiding Carla's gaze as expertly as he could. Carla wasn't afraid to look him in the eye nonetheless. "It's not that I don't want to help others as a career or anything like that, specifically," he began, sounding surprisingly unsure of himself. "It's just that I don't want to go through university, studying my ass off for this one profession, only to find that I'm surrounded by misery and pain every day. The very same misery and pain that I've spent the last two and a bit years trying to ward off."

"Well, that's one way of looking at it," Carla replied. "Too bad it's such a depressing way of viewing things."

Sosuke rolled his eyes, the moonlight beaming down through his East-facing window and illuminating his every movement with a subtle white glow. "How would you suggest I look at it then, Carlie?"

"You'll be helping kids through injuries that have probably shattered their dreams as much as you have. You can make them feel better about themselves, give them a reason to stay motivated, help them through their recovery. If you choose sports psychology, you get to do a little more of the advice giving and help athletes excel at their sports without the worry of their own mental demons. Race anxiety, depression caused by injuries, how to deal with pressure from parents, all that good stuff."

"How is any of that good?"

"You're avoiding my splendidly reasoned point, Sosuke."

Sosuke groaned indignantly. "I'm thinking realistically here, Carlie. Sure, I have a decent chance of making the grades for university. At a long shot, I might be able to make it into New York University, like you said-"

"Sosuke, your grades are well above the average and your sporting history would be enough to get you at least some kind of scholarship or internship for coaching. It's a decent enough plan."

"What? Moving to New York with you?" Sosuke scoffed, doubt lingering in his tone. "You honestly think your parents will agree to that? Letting their daughter move to a foreign country for school is already enough of a stretch. Add in an injured boyfriend who's suddenly decided that he wants to move away with her and I'm pretty sure that spells 'disaster'. Especially in your father's eyes, I'm sure."

"You doubt my mother's persuasive skills, Sou-chan."

"Dear God, never call me that again."

Carla rolled her eyes impatiently and without restraint, crawled into Sosuke's lap. She cupped his face with gentle hands, her vibrant blue eyes half-lidded and lips almost touching. Sosuke tensed beneath her, his fingers digging hard into her thighs as he held her in place. Carla could hear his soft breathing as it turned into laboured breaths, could feel him almost shaking as he shook his head and whispered, "Carla, don't. Not now."

"Why not?" she answered, pressing their lips together for a brief, fluttering kiss. "Move to New York with me. Don't make me say goodbye."

"I can't, Carlie. It's too late."

"Nothing's ever too late," Carla pressed on. "I can make it happen. I can convince my parents, I can help you get into NYU, I can even help pay out of my own money if I need to."

Sosuke shook his head, sadness glazing over his eyes, and leaned back against the headboard with a soft thump. "Just as long as we don't have to say goodbye."

Carla nodded, a lump forming in her throat as she thought of the coming weeks. She had too much to work for, too much to even think about. She'd be starting her HSC exams in a month and a half, deciding her future within those six weeks. She'd be graduating, truly graduating, a week after the exams were over and then, she'd be off to New York to start an internship at Julliard and study dance and teaching at NYU. Carla had plans for her life, dreams she'd made for herself and a future she'd wanted for so long. But most of all, Carla wanted Sosuke to share in the life that she'd dreamt up for herself. To build his own hopes and dreams around her, even after how everything had crumbled around him.

Carla breathed in through her nose, closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his. "We can make it work. I promise you, we can."

Sosuke sighed deeply and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as close as he could whilst he replied, "Just as long as we don't have to say goodbye. That's all we need, right?"

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, Carla wasn't terrified of the future. She embraced it, with open arms and a gentle smile. The world would not stop them from getting what they wanted, not now, not after everything they'd been through. They deserved better than what fate had dealt them. They deserved more than what the world had given them in life. None of it was fair. None of it was just, by any means. And as much as life was naturally unfair and unjust, Carla was fed up with being given the short end of the stick. And as far as she could tell, Sosuke had long since given in to his rage at fate's dealings.

Both of them were finished with being judged, pitied and looked down on. If the people around them were going to tear them down, Carla was more than happy to drag them down with her. If their parents couldn't trust them with their own lives and their own decisions, Carla was fully prepared to fight them at every turn. If fate would not be kind to them any longer, Carla was perfectly fine with tempting it. After all, what did either of them have to lose?

"Yes," Carla whispered to herself, their strangely-heartfelt conversation long silenced by the sounds of Sosuke's steady, even breathing that was slowly numbing Carla into sleep. "Anything so that we don't have to say goodbye..."

Anything. Anything at all...

A.N: Oh. My. God. I am so so so sorry. That wait was ridiculous. I apologise tenfold for spending so much time procrastinating and whatnot but a lot of the reasons as to why this chapter was severely delayed were unavoidable. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

So, how has everyone been? Stressed with finals and everything? School killing everyone? I assumed so. I'm being dumped with a heck-of-a-lot of mid-term exams and assignments to get through at the moment, (reason number 1 as to why this chapter is so late). Not to mention I've sort of been going through a personal crisis of late and it's just about affected everything. Life's busy, basically. Busy to the point of madness. Chapters may be slow but I'm trying to make them long so that there's still enough story in there for everyone. Trying to pick up the pace a bit but for the next week, things shall be slow.

Thank you to My Father's Daughter for reviewing. Thank you to everyone else who followed and favourited, which was a hell of a lot of you. I'm kinda unsure about this chapter, considering a lot of it is a bit fragmented to me because I wrote certain sections at different times and I just feel kinda weird about it. Some reviews of it would be nice, especially since last chapter had little-to-no feedback and I was kinda confused as to how go on from there. Reviews do boast my confidence and usually, I can judge from them how the chapter went.

Basically, my writing's just feeling a little off right now. And that could be to do with my mood (and my anxiety which is slowly creeping up on me, ew) but I don't know. Reassurance or criticism could probably do me some good. Especially in this time when I'm stressed and anxious and kind of upset with some people in my life.

Wow, when did this turn into a pity party? Let's stop that before I fall into the 'angsty-teenager' pit-fall. The next chapter will probably be done within the next two weeks or so. I have some of the final chapter written out, so I have a finishing point. I just need to get there now.

Until next time (in which I hope I'm in a better mind-frame)...