They were searching for me, slowly but surely gaining ground. I'd calmed down in the meantime, sequestered as I was in the water, right beside one of those gigantic monoliths of snakes. It'd been a wise choice, all things considered. I'd even hidden away the Diary in one of the folds of my robes. Whenever one of them approaches I simply went underwater, careful to make as little ripples as possible.

Still, it was obvious that they'd find me soon enough, and then carve me up like some kind of animal. I... I couldn't let that happen. I just couldn't! I had a plan! I was going to become the Master of Death, gather the Hallows, create a harem, rob Fort Knox for all its gold and tame a dragon to ride! I wouldn't let these bastards ruin everything I've worked so hard for!

Well, it was actually about twenty minutes of planning, which included discarding ridicilous ideas like "create a spell that impregnates random girls", "create a horcrux of my own!", "Leap into the Veil of Death!" ... Actually, that last one might be viable, can't discard it with all of these new revelations. I'd ultimately judged this Potterverse as a shitty AU divergence of some sort. That meant the 'Veil of Death' was an interdimensional portal to other worlds and timeturners could allow me to leap hundreds of years back into the past if I 'broke them' the right way. Ugh.

"Hey Hermoine," I heard Ron call, his voice frayed with nerves; guess he was worried about his sister, "Can you do that Homun Revelio spell or whatever it's called? The one that reveals the presence of humans?"

It's called 'Homenum Revelio', I wanted to scold, but chose not to. It was a pretty good question, all things considered. So I drifted a bit closer to the walkway, peering upwards from the water's surface.

"Sorry Ron, but that's way beyond me; we don't learn that until sixth or seventh year." The little trollop responded, her voice tinged with irritation. I couldn't help but smirk in response.

"Hey guys, I think I've figured it out!" Harry waved at Ron and they soon joined up with Hermoine, speaking furiously as the boy-who-lived revealed his discovery.

"The thing is; all the dust and grime here? It's been disturbed; there's track's everywhere. So I started to follow them around, and what a surprise; guess what I found?" He sounded uncharitably smug as he spoke, a small smile playing at his lips. It was disgustingly easy to see, what with his armor shining so brilliantly, more or less lighting up his whole face. None of the trio were wielding helmets, so if I was lucky I might... I might bash their skulls in. Yeah. I'd do that. if I got the chance.

"No, what?" This was Hermoine, a frown marring her childish face. "Let me guess; he's already left, already been resurrected? But Ginny's still alive..." She trailed off and began to pout, and a blossom of hope began to spread inside of my chest.

I could clearly see their expression and hear their voices, but I was still slightly worried. I was just... Too close. If I were lucky they'd leave with the body of Ginny, but I wasn't taking any chances. I had to figure out some plan, and soon at that.

"No, not at all. By one of the statues over there," he pointed to where I'd first hidden my Diary, "had the outline of a small rectangular block. As if someone had recently tried to hide away a book of somesort." The other two immediately tensed, glancing around is sudden paranoia. Hermoine's eyes even shifted over where I was partially submerged by darkness and hidden from sight. She didn't notice me. Good thing to; I'd hate to be decapitated by those humonguous, incredibly sharp swords of theirs.

"Shit. That means he knew we were coming... And is still here, most likely. Watching us. Studying us. We can't take any chances. Can you try to call on the basilisk, Harry?" This was Ron; he'd knelt down beside his sister and that expression of his... Seeing it on a child of twelve was disturbing. The tightening of his jaw, intensity of his eyes; this guy was dangerous. "We need to destroy the Tiara and Locket as quickly as possible, before the whatever trap that's waiting is sprung. What more, the stasis seals on the roosters are temporary. They weren't supposed to last more than an hour."

That's when Hermoine placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "Don't worry Ron, we'll get him, save your sister and take care of the horcruxes. Just like we dealt with Harry's scar, yeah?" There was a tone of comraderie enveloping the three of them, and I couldn't help but look away. These guys were... They were tight. Friends, family. They'd gone through a lot of shit together. A pang of jealousy shot through me at that thought. Why did I have to be the villain? Yeah... Why couldn't I be the Hero? The Savior?

An idea slowly began to crystallize itself through my mind at that idea. Yeah, why shouldn't I save the day? I, Tom Marvolo Riddle, Sorceror Supreme!? Gyuhuhuhuhuu~!

"We wont lose anyone else", Harry said, his voice firm. "Percy's sacrifice wont be in vain. I might have lost the ability to speak parseltongue without the scar, we might not trust Dumbledore, but we came prepared for this. We'll be able to lure it out easily enough! We'll just open up the mokeskin pouches and empty it all out! Everything! We raided the kitchen for this, remember!"

And so they did. It was a perfect lure, I realized. Meat, blood, recently slaughtered cattle and loads of other goodness. All of it just... Fell through three tiny pouches. Even a live sheep! It was ridicilous! Holy shit, this universe had Supertrunks! God-damn! I... I needed some 'o dat'!

But that also meant I had to act, and soon. I had no doubt that the basilisk would salivate for such a great and bountiful harvest of foodstuffs, so I had no choice. With a grimace I began to swim to the surface of the water, determination taking ahold of me. It was now or never.

The thing is, I'm genre savvy. These guys? They're ordinary folks, not like me. They'd read the books, watched the films... But that was it. Just ordinary self-inserts. I was different. I was genre savvy, I knew how to play the game now that the narrative rules had been revealed to me. These bastards had Power Armor, Supertrunks and the ability to freeze shit in time. What more, Potter had gotten a piece of me killed! That was a part of my soul! Just, god-damn! So now it was time to change everything.

"Dumbledore is the greatest wizard alive!" I yelled, my soaked form dripping water onto the cobblestones beneath my feet. I must have looked ridicilous where I stood, tall and proud, spouting what ought to be anathema to Tom Riddle. But I believed it. I truly did, for I had immersed myself into a singular role; the Headmaster's blind follower and a supporter of the Light!

They just gaped at me, and I could distinctly hear a muttered "What the flying fuck?"

"No matter what you do, no matter what evil you conduct, I wont let this foul ritual continue!" I continued, taking a daring step forwards, my hand rising towards the heavens. "I'll save Ginny! I'll save the basilisk! I'll save the motherfucking world!" I was screaming atop of my lungs now, my face twisted into one of fervent belief.

"This doesn't make any sense!" Potter replied, his pre-pubescent form marred with obvious disbelief and confusion. "This isn't how it happens!"

"So long as people believe in Dumbledore, there is still hope! So long as people have him in his hearts, Hogwarts will always be his home!" I ranted on, knowing within my heart of hearts that this was it. It was now or never, and as expected, Ron delivered.

"Whatever the fuck's going on, I don't give a shit. You're going to die so my sister will live!" With that, Ron raised his gigantic sword above his head and begun to run towards me whilst screaming atop of his head. It was ludicrous; he was basically shitting in the face of common sense and all that was right and proper. His tiny arms couldn't possible lift that slab of metal so high, but he obviously did. Fucking magic.

"No, wait Ron! It's a trap!"

But it was too late; he was already off, and Harry and Hermoine had no choice but to reluctantly follow, but Ron was simply too quick. Unnaturally fast, and was quickly gaining ground on his friends. His armor had quite a few abilities, it seemed.

I did the only thing I could - I drew my stolen wand with a flourish and grinned. "Dumbledore will lend aid to those in need! So long as students have faith they will always be safe! Stupefy! Arresto Momentum! Petrificus Totalis! Stupefy! Stupefy! Stupefy!"

Flares of light erupted from my stick, a crescendo of colors that soared towards my approaching enemy. It was a frightening display of instinctual knowledge; I knew none of these spell, but they were ingrained within me. I simply had to believe. Yet, it was to no avail; Ron simply batted them aside with his sword or raised a runed gauntlet to soak up my admittingly pathetic magic. Still, he came to a stop, letting the others approach him, his expression grim. There was about twenty meters seperating us now, and I couldn't help but grin in response. I could do magic!

"That's impossible!", Hermoine exclaimed, the beginnings of panic taking ahold of her features. "Riddle can't do advanced magic unless Ginny is dead, and she's obviously still breathing! My earlier spell still haven't collapsed!"

"You!", Harry said, pointing at me as Ron took a defensive stance in front of his friends. "What the fuck is going on?"

I simply smirked smugly in response. "I'm stopping your evil and doing my best to save the school... Really, Harry, blustering in here, talking about how you're going to carve me up... It was really scary, you know. Villanous, even." Just then there was a flash of fire, the flap of wings and a beautiful cry as Fawkes landed on my shoulder, the Sorting Hat gripped in its claw.

"So long as you believe in Dumbledore, aid shall be given." I state as I draw the Sword of Gryffindor from the battered hat, a wide grin etched into my features. "Evil shall be vanquished, love will conquer all and friendship will prevail above anything else!" With that declaration I put the sorting hat atop of my head.

"Oh, uh, what? What the fuck? Another one? Really? This is absolutely crazy, but I like it! Go ahead, I'll lend you my powers!"