The trees always listened. They heard everything.

Slammed doors, ghostly silence,

Muffled sobs, desperate prayers.

But they never answered.

Absorbing the sounds into their bark,

Soaking it in like a sponge,

Burying it in their roots

Releasing secrets back into the earth.

The trees always saw. They witnessed everything.

Shattered glass, splintered wood,

Torn skin, broken promises.

But they never looked away.

Staring into the bloodshot eyes of anger,

Making no attempts at salvation,

Blinking back at a shadowed face

Guaranteeing their inaction evermore.

I had been re-reading the same poem off the same page in the same book for what felt like days. Soul sat on the love seat on the other side of the living room, his legs hanging over the armrest while his fingers tapped away at his phone his eyes not having left the screen once since he got here. My dad and his new girlfriend were outside in the front yard attempting to plant flowers. She had somehow convinced him that gardening was a fun way to spend an afternoon which led to them digging in the dirt all morning. They had left the front door open and I had briefly considered closing it, locking it, maybe pushing a chair against it under the doorknob. I ultimately decided against doing so and allowed the outside air to sweep into the house along with a fly or two. He would come as he always did. I knew he would and nothing as simple as a locked door would stop him. I decided he wouldn't know anything was wrong with me. I wouldn't let him.

I wished I had the courage to be angry with him like I used to be back when I had first met him but I didn't have the strength to hold myself up to it anymore. It was easy to be angry at someone you didn't care about. It was another issue entirely when you saw them every day wishing that somehow you could feel their skin against yours for just a second more. Which, you know, is stupid considering the circumstances. So I will do as I have done before and pretend; that nothing is wrong, that I am ok and that I am incapable of hurt feelings despite the ache in my chest. It was my own fault anyway. I can't change who he is or how he operates; I can only control my own behavior. If only I could force myself to release the grip my mind seemed to have on him.

I coughed.

"Hmm?" He mumbled.

"Nothing."

"Hmm."

We had said barely 10 words to each other all day. I wanted to blame it on the intense summer heat seeping into the house and how now with our air conditioning unit newly broken it made doing anything a chore; even talking to the silent white haired boy in my living room. I briefly snuck a peek over the top of my book at him as he rubbed the back of his neck. Yeah, that was a lie.

The space between us was stale and familiar in its stagnancy. It always happened when we stepped a little too close to our invisible boundaries, shooting us backwards like two repelling magnets leaving us to slowly inch forward again as far as we dared. It was exhausting. I heard a humming from the outside as the neighbors started up their lawnmower. At least now there was sound filling the space and not just our breathing. I looked at Soul again. Because of the heat he had come over in gray cargo shorts but for whatever reason he wore a black long sleeved shirt. He had to be positively roasting. I wore the same red shorts I had worn on our 'not date' to Blair's party months ago and when he had shown up I had seriously considered changing. Again I did nothing, sure that changing would make him take more notice of me than not. He had given me a once over when he had first come through the doorway and seen me on the couch but had said nothing about it. He had said hello as per usual but when I said nothing in response he made himself comfortable in the love seat and hadn't moved since. I could hear footsteps outside the front door and we both looked up in time to see soccer mom walk in with my dad following closely behind her. Her chin length brown hair that matched her eyes curled on the ends and a soft pink hue from the sun was dusted across her cheeks. She was not at all my dad's type, it was a miracle she managed to stick around this long. I scowled at their intertwined hands.

"Hey, kids. You shouldn't be cooped up in here, it's such a beautiful day out today," she said cheerily.

Too cheerily for my dark mood.

"Yet here we are anyway, too bad," I said with a much too obvious undertone of annoyance.

I looked back at the stanzas on my page knowing everyone in the room was probably looking at me in confusion.

"Maka, what's gotten into you?" My dad asked before turning on Soul. "What did you say to her?"

I felt a small twinge of gratefulness in my heart for my father's immediacy in singling him out.

"Me? I haven't said anything," Soul replied.

"You had to have. Why else would she be like this," my dad pressed, "What did you do to my little girl?"

My dad had moved away from soccer mom over to Soul and was not hovering over him arms crossed in an attempt to look authoritarian.

"I haven't done shit," Soul growled sitting up slightly.

Both looked angrily at one another and might have riled each other up more if the girlfriend hadn't suddenly put a hand on my dad's shoulder and the other on Soul's knee.

I think the heat's getting to all of us," she said gently.

As though by magic my father instantly backed off as Soul settled back into his seat as the beginnings of anger melted away from them both. I had started it, she had ended it and I suddenly felt a little bad for how I had spoken to her.

"How about I call the repair company and see if they can come by and fix the AC? In the meantime," she went over to the kitchen counter and began to dig through her purse," you two can go out and get something to snack on." She returned and handed me a twenty still smiling. "Some sodas? Popsicles maybe?"

I glanced at Soul who looked as apprehensive as I was but I still felt guilty so I took it. She seemed pleased. She had a pretty smile. Definitely not my dad's type.

"Don't take too long," my dad sang happily taking her hand again, forgetting the almost confrontation with Soul and walked back out the front door.

I hadn't known it was possible to feel even more smothered in this room until they walked out and left behind this void that by nature demanded to be filled. We looked at each other. He sat up again.

"So should we…?"

"You're driving," I decided closing my book and getting off the couch.

"Okay then," he said slowly getting up.

I tossed my book onto the coffee table and made a beeline towards the door not bothering to wait for him. While I didn't particularly want the closeness riding with Soul on his bike brought, it would effectively erase the ability to talk to each other and that I did want. As I stood by his motorcycle in the driveway with my arms crossed it was impossible to avoid thinking of the last time I was on it; clinging to him afraid but remaining safe and maybe just maybe willing to do it again. That seemed to be his M.O. To terrify me and confuse me only to leave me breathless but ready to do it all over. Soul came up behind me startling me as he climbed on. I waited for him to get situated before following suit.

"Your dad looks happy."

I looked at my dad and his girlfriend on their knees in the front yard. She was gently placing a handful of flowers in a hole they dug with my dad looking at her with such affection it made my stomach roll.

"It won't last, it never does," I replied wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Someone's a downer this morning," he mumbled backing us out into the street.

I didn't answer. All I wanted was a silent trip to the nearest 7 Eleven. It wouldn't be a long drive but it would feel like it. As the engine kicked in and the wind chased away the heat pooling on my skin I couldn't even be bothered to worry about the danger such a vehicle posed. I annoyingly had too much faith in Soul. I enjoyed playing the part of a backpack digging my fingers into his shirt and letting his newly discovered woodsy smell wash over me but I simultaneously wanted to take my chances with holding on to the side bars and keep my mind far away from any positive thoughts towards him. I was still very much a fool.

He pulled into a parking spot and patiently waited for me to get down. Soul opened the door of the building for me and the AC inside was the crisp arctic blast that could only be combined with too bright fluorescent lights in a convenience store leaving me with chills and squinting. Soul made a satisfied sigh which made sense since he had been spending all morning in that shirt. I almost wanted to chastise him and tell him it was better to avoid heat stroke than to try to look cool but instead I went to the chip aisle and grabbed something that looked extremely artificially cheesy. Soul stuck his head in one of the fridges.

"Should we bring your dad and his girl something?"

"Sure, whatever."

Soul gave me a deadpan look through the glass. I may be becoming more and more obvious as the day goes on but I'm too far gone to stop and care. If he asked I would say nothing. But he won't. I opened the fridge door next to him and grabbed a too expensive water bottle then waited for him at the counter. He joined me with a popsicle in hand. He saw my raised eyebrow.

"What? She said to get one."

Beep. Beep. Beep. The items were scanned and bagged. I saw Soul eyeing the shelves holding white cartons behind the cashier.

"Don't even think about it," I said under my breath handing the worker the twenty.

"I wasn't," he huffed taking the bag and change from the cashier.

We headed back out and I was happy that this trip was almost over. I knew I was beginning to push Soul's buttons and I wanted to stop but I couldn't bring myself to care about his feelings. See how he liked it. But instead of getting on his bike Soul stayed under the shade of the small awning crouching a few feet away from the door and leaning against the side of the building.

"What are you doing?"

"My ice cream is gonna melt if I drive now. We'll go when I'm done," he said lifting his popsicle from within the bag.

"Are you serious?"

"What? You got somewhere you got to be?" he said side eyeing me. He ripped off the wrapper and stuck the treat in his mouth. With a satisfied crunch he patted the space next to him.

"No, thanks," I said annoyed.

"Fine, stay in the hot ass sun I don't care."

I wanted to punch him but I was starting to feel the beginnings of sticky humidity misting my skin and if he was going to force me to be here I may as well be in the shade. I joined him under the awning but I wasn't about to crouch to his level. He handed me my water bottle without looking at me while making another crunch sound. I sipped at it wondering who just bit into popsicles like that.

"So, what's the matter?"

"What are you talking about?"

He crunched again. "You've been pissy all day. What's the matter?"

I dared not look at him, not when I could feel his eyes on me. I just knew I would lose my resolve if I did. I focused intensely at the traffic passing by on the street in front of us. A sedan with a broken side mirror, two minivans, a convertible with the top down.

"Maka?"

A pickup truck, another sedan, a bright blue bug.

"Nothing's the matter." I wish I knew how to lie seamlessly. I wish my voice hadn't shaken on the last word. I wish he hadn't made me so upset.

"Liar." Crunch.

"Whatever." Sip.

Soul stood up suddenly towering over me. I always forgot how much taller than me he was. I guess it's hard to remember when he's always laying somewhere asleep. He chewed on the wooden stick between his teeth.

"Well, since you'd be anywhere else but here how about we go ahead and go."

It wasn't a question. He walked past me and I could tell by the set in his shoulders that I had pushed another button even though I didn't quite know how or which one it even was. It wasn't really his business about my mood anyway so I didn't understand why he was suddenly upset too. He closed the storage unit on his bike and called over his shoulder,

"You coming or what?"

His voice had a blunt edge to it and all it did was serve to push me even further into my sour mood. Now he wanted to act hurt? Over what? I actually had a reason to be the way I was, he was just being dramatic. I climbed on behind him, this time keeping my hands to the sides and holding on to the bars.

"You holding on?"

"Yeah."

It was a short terse word and yet it was harder to say than anything else I've said today. He pulled out and I was pretty sure he wasn't going as fast as he normally did so I would have a better grip. I grimaced. Why did the ache not go away? It always went away. I pushed it down, pushed it away, forgot it existed and it eventually faded into nothingness. I guess I would just need more time. But would it matter when all that time was spent with him? He made an unexpected turn and I had to grip tighter so I wouldn't accidentally meet the pavement. We were unexpectedly going down a dirt road I didn't recognize and I was about to ask where we were when we suddenly tilted into an incline up a hill and my first reaction was to grab onto Soul again so I wouldn't fall off not trusting the team my hands and the metal side bars made. I looked around trying to get my bearings when something at the top caught my attention. A dark house that was the home to Halloween pranks every year sat at the apex of the hill. It was supposedly decrepit and abandoned but remained home to a ghost. I had driven by it plenty of times since it was in plain view of the highway exit but I had never been this close to it.

"I don't think we should be here!" I tried to tell him but either he couldn't hear me or he was ignoring me because he kept going. Trees began sprouting up and became denser the closer we got to the top. Finally as we leveled out Soul slowed and eventually parked us right next to the building. Up close the house wasn't as horrid as I had imagined it would be. All its windows still had glass, the door wasn't hanging off its hinges and it was painted a light gray. At least if it was haunted the ghost had decent accommodations.

"Soul, I don't think we're allowed to be here," I whispered.

"Don't be such a chicken," he mumbled climbing down and walking away, disappearing behind the house.

This was it. He had finally snapped and was going to murder me behind the abandoned house and I would become the ghost that haunts the hilltop on Halloween and I would never pass on because my body would never be found.

"You coming?" his voice called from the backyard which probably had a corpse as a scarecrow and rabid werewolf chained to a flimsy pole like in all the horror novels.

My only other option was to run back the way we came; but knowing my luck I would trip and make the most disgraceful descent and if I was going to die I would do so with dignity. I took slow steps careful not to make any noise. Neither the ghost nor Soul would hear me coming. Until he came back around the side of the house and grabbed my wrist dragging me behind him.

"We don't have all day."

I frowned but followed. He pulled me around the back and it wasn't at all the murder scene I had expected complete with the corn maze to get lost in; instead it was a large open field of maintained looking grass bordered by more trees. It was towards those trees he was leading me.

"Where are you taking me?" I wanted to sound brave but I just knew I sounded more like a scaredy-cat. In all fairness it was exactly what I was.

"You'll see," was his response his voice smooth and even.

He was sounding more and more like a serial killer by the minute. We entered the barrier of trees and even though I was slightly terrified I couldn't help but be in awe of the natural beauty I was surrounded in. The trees provided relieving shade but let in enough light that I could follow Soul into the forest without tripping over any of the roots that peeked through the earth. Quite rays of sunshine lit up points here and there along our path; one showcasing a single frog sitting on a stone who seemed only slightly curious about our presence. I could hear birds and the occasional squirrel fluttering through the branches above us and gentle gusts of wind were blowing leaves along the grassy floor. Even though I hadn't played make believe in years I couldn't help but imagine this was what I would have found magical when I was younger. The magic was cut short when I ran into Soul who had suddenly stopped.

"Ok, we're here."

I looked around. We had stopped in front of a pond with a healthy cloud of mosquitos buzzing over it.

"Where is here?"

"Sit," he ordered ignoring me and pointing to a footstool sized stone right on the edge of the water.

"If you push me in so help me…."

"Will you relax?"

I eyed him warily as I sat on the stone and faced the still water. I couldn't see any fish in it just another frog sitting along the bank with only his eyes above the water. He blinked at me. I blinked back.

"Ok," he sat down next to me in the patchy grass daringly close to the muddy edge, "You're going to tell me what the problem is."

I rolled my eyes. "There is no problem so if this is all you wanted me out here for you're wasting your time." I crossed my arms, prayed my show of defiance worked and we could leave.

"Except there is," he said, "You've not been yourself today. The way you've been acting is completely off."

"Whatever."

"See," he exclaimed pointing at me, "That right there. What is that? You've never had a problem telling me exactly what bothered you."

"Oh please, as if you cared. Excuse me for not telling you all my deepest secrets."

"Don't play stupid, Maka."

There was that word again.

"When I bother you, you say so. When your dad is acting stupid, you say so. Instead you've said 'whatever' more times today than you have since I met you."

I had to bite back from saying it again. The moss growing on the still water was suddenly much more interesting and far less stressful than Soul.

"Is this about your dad's girlfriend?"

I swiveled towards him.

"Are you serious?"

"Well, you didn't make your dislike of her a secret," he said twisting blades of grass between his fingers. "Do you not like the idea of your dad seriously dating?"

He was closing in and I could feel my defenses going up.

"I'm not a child. My dad is an adult, he can do what he wants."

He looked at the grass in his hands. "You just seem like you don't like her in particular. Are you worried about her hurting your dad or something?"

I turned back around to face the water not responding. The frog blinked at me again.

"I think I deserve an answer."

"Deserve?" I said my voice getting louder still refusing to look at him.

"If you're gonna be taking your anger out on me every time you get pissed then yes," his voice rising to match mine.

"You don't deserve anything!" I shouted surprising myself, "I don't deserve anything! We all get what we get and we have to deal with it! So what if my dad pushed my mom away, so what if he acts like I don't exist most days, so what if he suddenly decides that he's going to spend more time with her than he ever did with me and that she matters more that his own flesh and blood?I didn't deserve any more than that anyway!"

The frog disappeared under the water. I chanced a glance at Soul whose eyebrows had pulled together in an expression somewhere between confused and empathetic. Pitying. Hated that he was looking at me like that, like I was some small, fragile person that felt too many things.

"Look, forget it. You wouldn't understand," I said sighing heavily. I wished the frog hadn't left.

"I wouldn't understand being abandoned?"

"No, you wouldn't," I said turning to glare at him.

"I know you like to think you know everything Maka, but there's a hell of a lot that you don't," he glared right back.

"You don't know what it's like for me!"

"How the fuck could you possibly know that?"

"Because," I said my voice betraying me by cracking, "if you did you wouldn't do the exact same thing to me."

"What are you talking about?"

He seemed confused by my sudden change in tone. I didn't like how Soul with just a few words could get me this wound up again. I was back on that porch floor with him standing over me, smiling at my weakness. I stood, my hands balling into fists; the anger I didn't think I could muster was back and I was unprepared for the surge.

"You've got to be kidding me! You know exactly what I'm talking about, Soul! You know exactly what you do! You like to play pretend that there's something between us. You think it's fun to watch me fall all over myself for you like those girls from school. Well I've done it, I've gone and done it so I hope you're happy." I grit my teeth but couldn't stop the trembling of my lips. I turned away unable to look into his scarlet irises without feeling my heart threatening to give way. "Because…because I'm not having fun anymore. Not when I always lose. It's not fair." I could feel my anger being burned away as fast as it caught fire. Something more pitiful was making its way into my throat. I focused on the moss again.

"I know you said you deserved better and I get it. I know you've probably got a type and I obviously am not it. So why can't you mess with the head of someone you actually want, someone who can keep up? I just can't do it anymore." The moss was blurring and my breath hitched. "Because I'm..."

Uh oh. No. Stop talking.

"I'm afraid."

Don't say anymore. Your walls are in place for a reason.

"I'm afraid that…," The first tear fell and I knew immediately that it was too late. He would know too much.

"I'm afraid that it's not pretend for me anymore." The wall came crashing down and the waves that had been beating against the stones raged in no longer held back. I began to yell angrily at the pond, at the frog, at the woods. Angry at myself.

"I am every stupid woman who has come into my dad's life! I am every angry phone call that he sends to voicemail, I am every knock on the door at 3 a.m., I am every hopeful smile when he says he'll see them soon because I think that somehow, someway I can win. That maybe one day it will be real and you won't back away this time! That maybe this time I'll be able to keep you and that I won't just be your entertainment! And it's so SO stupid!"

The tears wouldn't stop and I was out of breath. I knew I was a mess and I desperately wanted to slip into the water and drown in the silence away from everything that could ever hurt me, anything he could possibly say. I had revealed too much, been too vulnerable to the wrong person and now not only could he hurt me again but he would use ammunition I provided him.

We sat there in silence for a long time, minutes that felt like hours. I tried my best to regain my composure, wiping my eyes and trying not sniff so much and he gave me all the space in the world to sit in silence. I didn't want to speak, to fill the void; the occasional chirp from the birds above us were enough. Whatever I needed to say had been said and it was all on him if he wanted to respond. I still couldn't bring myself to look at him. I was too afraid of what I might find. Disgust, amusement, more of that god-awful pity. I was in too fragile a state to dare. I couldn't afford the risk.

The forest continued on as if we weren't there. There were now two pairs of amphibious eyes staring at me from the water and leaves fell from the treetops overhead. I took a few deep breaths to relax. The air was comfortable and familiar; cool and crisp and smelling of moist earth. In fact it almost reminded me of….

"Soul? Do you come here often?"

For half a second I didn't think he had heard me.

"Yeah, I come here all the time. It's a good thinking spot for me."

"I can tell." Curiosity wanted to look at him, to gauge any kind of reaction for anything I had said today. Stubbornness refused, fear seconded the motion.

"Oh yeah?" He didn't sound any different, his voice seemed just as calm as it usually was. "How'd you guess?"

I wasn't about to tell him I had been sniffing him. I had already given up so much of myself I couldn't stand to share anything else.

"You just seem really comfortable here."

"Hmm."

We returned to comfortable silence. I sat again on the ground on the opposite side of the stone exposed and waiting and the longer I waited the less likely it seemed that he would ever acknowledge what I said. It was probably for the best. At least now, we could move past it together and it wouldn't be this heavy weight dragging us down into the earth. It also meant the game would be over and I would never have to worry about it again. The sun was starting to dim through the treetops.

"Soul, it might be time to…"

"You're wrong you know."

I surprised myself by turning to him. He was looking down at a pile of pulled apart grass at his feet that he most likely had been working on this whole time.

"What about?"

He took a deep breath and said in a rush, "I never said I deserved better."

I couldn't tell what his angle was. I didn't know what he wanted me to say so I elected to say nothing.

"The other day, you had been going to kiss me because I was pushing you to," he said fingers tearing grass apart at a faster pace matching my pulse. "I didn't want you to kiss me just because I was being an asshole. Hell, I didn't think you actually would have but you had been going to and it just wasn't what I had imagined kissing you to be like."

My heart was hammering against my rib cage. Why won't he look at me? I needed to know if he was being serious; needed to see if the telltale glimmer of mischievousness was sparkling in his eyes. Was this what he felt like when I had been spewing everything I had been feeling? He had imagined kissing me?

"Maka, you're absolutely right. I wasn't being fair to you by doing what I was doing. I'm not a good person when it comes to these things. Hell I'm not really a good person to begin with. I've always had a habit of forcing it, of faking it. I've been pulling the same shit since I was 14, immature bullshit that gets me what I want when I want it but…you had been about to give me what I asked for and I suddenly didn't want it because it wouldn't have been fair to you. It confused me."

He looked up suddenly fixing me in place with the intensity of his gaze. I recognized this expression he had had the same look in his eyes when he had been composing. I was the center of his attention, he was completely focused on me and I wasn't sure what I was supposed do with it all.

"I hadn't been saying I deserved better, I just didn't…feel like I deserved you."

We looked at each other, holding our breath, waiting for something to happen. I searched for the trick, sure that he was playing another game. He would be cruel enough to do something like that after what I had just confessed but his own confession…how was I supposed to respond to that? How could I? I bit my lip and struggled to look away from him. I needed a minute, an hour, a year to figure out what I should tell him. A stray tear fell. Then another. No, not tears.

"Is it raining?" he asked looking up at the treetops.

Trance broken I held my hand out catching a few drops in my palm.

"Uh oh, I think so."

"Then we better hurry and get back, your dad's gonna kill me if I leave with his daughter and return with a wet dog," he said scrambling to get up brushing the back of thighs.

"As if."

He stepped over the stone and offered his hand.

"Still not gonna risk it; not after this morning."

I took it.

"He's probably forgotten about it already."

"Let's hope so."

He lead me back out of the forest as the rain started to come down heavier careful not to let me slip in the newly forming mud and never once letting go of my hand. As soon as we made it back to the grass field we broke into a run. We were on our way to being thoroughly soaked but it hardly mattered when I could only think of the fingers wrapped around my own urging me faster and the heavy rhythm my heart was drumming within my chest. We made it to his bike, climbed on, and took off downhill. I spent the majority of the ride back home trying to decide how I felt. This was what I had wanted wasn't it? Was it? He had admitted to treating what we were like a game so how could I believe this wasn't just another round? What did he expect to happen now? I couldn't even decide what it was I wanted to happen. Our relationship had just irrevocably changed…right? Was it irreversible or would we both wake up tomorrow and together decide that nothing that mattered had actually happened? I pressed myself even closer to Soul feeling his warmth even as the cold rain ran in rivers down our skin. I guess I could at least enjoy the ride while it lasted.