Summary: "You're my best friend, and I never want that to change." Austin & Ally discuss their relationship during the tour. One-shot.
A/N: So, I started writing this a few months ago and finally decided to finish it. I got the idea from watching both Beach Clubs & BFF's and Princesses & Prizes. I didn't really like the way Austin & Ally discussed their relationship in P&P and how short the conversation was (and not just because they agreed to move on from each other, though that's probably a large part of it), and in Beach Clubs, Ally told Kira her and Austin agreed to be just friends for the time being when they were on tour, but we never saw that conversation - if there even was one. This is just my interpretation on how that could go.
Disclaimer: I don't own Austin & Ally. If I did, I probably would've included something like this. Then again, they'd probably still be together. Oh, and I don't own the song "Upside Down" either.
I always get this funny feeling
Every time you come around
It's like I'm walking on the ceiling
Both feet off the ground
And it's alright to feel so left
Upside down like I'm losing my head
Austin stops singing and looks up at Ally, who's sitting next to him on the couch in the tour bus.
"So, what do you think so far?" she asks.
He smiles. "I love it, Ally. As always." He pauses. "What else do you have?"
She looks down at her songbook. "That's it so far. I was gonna write more, but I have my own songs to work on. Plus...I wanted you to work on it with me."
"Oh," he says. He smiles. "Alright. We can work on it now, if you want."
She nods. "I wasn't sure what the next line should be, but I was thinking something like..." She stops to write it down, then shows it to him.
"'Cause I know where my heart belongs'," he reads out. "With you again."
"What?" she says.
He takes her pencil and writes down what he said. "For the next line."
She nods. "I like it." She pauses to think, then writes out another line. "And how about this next? Maybe the start of the chorus?" she suggests.
He reads it over quietly, then looks up again, meeting her gaze with a new gleam in his eyes. He smiles, shyly this time. "It's great," he says quietly.
She smiles back, suddenly feeling nervous for a reason she doesn't know. She holds Austin's gaze, probably longer than she should, and she watches his eyes flicker to her lips before beginning to lean in. It's slow at first, and then it's like he can't wait anymore and she feels his lips on hers. She's stunned at first, not quite sure how to react, before easing into the kiss, albeit nervously. It's short-lived, though, as he pulls back a second after.
She stares at him, not sure how to respond. She doesn't even get the chance to, anyway.
He looks down at the book again. "It's great," he says again, and she realizes he's talking about the song.
"Oh," she says. "Um, okay. Good." And without any mention of the kiss, they continue writing.
They don't get much done of the song, as Ally found the time spent next to Austin increasingly awkward with each second. She eventually decides to stop, saying they could finish later and gets up to leave.
"Wait," Austin says, and she turns around, thinking he wants to talk about the kiss. Instead, he holds up a pencil. "You almost forgot this."
She forces on a small smile and takes the pencil from him. "Uh, thanks," she says. They stay still for another minute in silence, and she's expecting him to bring up the kiss at least once, but he never does. Finally, she turns around again and walks away.
When Ally wakes up the next day, she almost thinks the kiss was all a dream - until she pulls out her songbook and finds the song they wrote.
So yesterday was not a dream, she thinks. She sets the book down and walks out to the kitchen area, hoping to have a chance to think things through alone. Of course, she's not quite that lucky, and she nearly runs into Austin, who's standing in her way.
He looks down at her when he notices she's there. "Oh. Hi," he says stiffly.
"Hi," she says. They stand quiet for a minute, not sure what to do next.
Finally, Ally speaks up. "Um, I need to..." She gestures around him.
"Oh!" he says, then moves out of her way. "Sorry."
She shrugs, walking past him. "It's alright." She pauses, thinking whether or not she should bring up the kiss, since it's clear he's not going to. She let's her curiosity get the better of her and looks back at him. "Um, Austin, can I ask you something?" she asks slowly.
He looks up. "Sure. What's up?"
She's about the answer, but a sudden crash from the other room makes her stop, and then their other friends start yelling. She sighs.
Austin's gaze follows the sound of their friends yelling, then turns back to Ally. "You were saying?" he asks.
But the moment's passed for her and her fear takes over. If he doesn't want to bring it up, then obviously he doesn't want to talk about it. "Never mind," she says. "It was nothing."
He looks at her with concern, almost like he can see through her and knows that whatever she wanted to talk about definitely wasn't nothing, but he doesn't say anything. He just turns back to what he was doing before she walked into the room with a simple, "Alright."
After Dez and Trish calmed down from their little episode, the gang decides to take a break from the stuffy tour bus and hang out outside. There's not much to see, just some trees and a couple convenience stores down the street, but it's better than nothing.
The whole time hanging out, though, Ally can't stop thinking about the kiss, and why Austin did it. It's clear to her that it's on his mind as well, since every time they're next to each other it's like he's trying to keep his distance, and he has trouble meeting her gaze when they talk - which is rare as well. They're not even outside for an hour when she notices Trish and even Dez glancing their way with a curious and confused look, like they can just see the tension between them, it's that heavy.
Eventually, they decide to head back to the bus, where Dez pulls Austin away to explore on their own. Meanwhile, Ally plans to head inside the bus and try and work on her music. Trish, of course, has other plans.
Once on the bus, Trish grabs Ally by the arm and pulls her to the couch.
"Okay, what's going on between you and Austin?" she asks. That's the thing with Trish. She always cuts straight to the point.
Ally decides to give her a confused look, not sure she wants to talk about it before talking to Austin first. "What are you talking about?" she asks.
Trish can tell Ally knows what she meant, but she tells her anyway. "You guys seem so tense today. Did you get into a fight or something?"
Ally sighs. Might as well tell someone who wants to listen. "No, we didn't fight. It was kind of the opposite, actually."
"Meaning...?"
"Meaning... Austin kissed me," she says slowly.
Trish beams. "Ally, that's awesome! Why didn't you tell me?" she says, then notices the look on her best friend's face and knows the answer before Ally even says it.
"Because he hasn't even acknowledged that he did," Ally replies. "I mean, one minute we were writing a song, then the next he was kissing me. And then not even a second later we were writing again, as if nothing else had happened."
"Oh..." Trish puts an arm around her. "Are you okay?"
Ally nods. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just...wanna know why he did that. And what it means for us. I mean, we haven't exactly talked about getting back together or anything of the sort."
"Well, maybe you should talk to him. Soon," Trish suggests.
"I don't know, Trish..."
"What's the worst that could happen? You guys are best friends," Trish encourages. "You'll be alright."
Ally nods. "You're right," she says, livening up. "I'm gonna talk to him about it."
Ally doesn't talk to him about it. At least, not that day. Dez and Austin don't come back until later, and when they do, Ally can't seem to get him alone. He's either laughing at something Dez is showing on his camera, talking to Trish about his next show in a couple days, or busy strumming on his guitar. And as easy as it would be to approach Austin while he's playing music - they are music partners, after all - she doesn't think it'd be the best idea. He could be in the middle of coming up with a new song, for all she knows. That, or she's too afraid to confront him about the situation first. As much as she hates to say it, it's probably the latter.
So she doesn't get to talk to him about it that day. The next day, however, she has better luck.
For the first time in a while, she finds herself being the last one to wake up. She checks the time, confused. It's not late in the morning, so she didn't sleep in. So why did everyone else get up so early? And not even bother to wake her up with them?
She shakes her head. It's probably nothing important. She gets dressed quickly, hoping to be able to find everyone in the other room. When she walks in there, though, it's vacant of her friends - expect for Austin, who, for the second time in two days, she nearly runs into.
"Oh! Hi," she says.
He smiles at her, a little nervously, then says, "Uh, so I was wondering if you wanted to check out this place Dez and I found yesterday? It's not far," he says.
"Oh, um, sure, I guess," she replies.
He nods. "Okay." He turns around and walks outside the bus, Ally trailing behind him. There, he leads her to the back of the bus, then walks through a trail in the trees there. They don't have to walk far before they reach a meadow. And sitting in the middle is a picnic blanket with a picnic basket on it.
Ally turns to Austin, gaping. "Austin," she starts, "what's all this?"
He looks at her. "I just wanted to do something special. You know, since we've been apart for some time and all."
She smiles, then throws her arms around him in a hug. His arms wrap around her waist and pull her close. "Thank you," she says. She pulls back. "I love it."
He smiles. "Awesome." He pauses before taking her hand. "Come on, we shouldn't stand here admiring it. There's food to be eaten."
She laughs, and allows him to pull her over to the blanket and sit down. He opens the basket to take out the food he brought for them (he even brought pickles!) and sets it down. As they eat, he's the first to start up a casual conversation. It's only about the tour, but it's something and it's the first time since he kissed her that he seems able to look her in the eye while he talks, which makes her happy. Maybe they can just forget about the kiss and go back to the way things were before. Austin seems to be trying to make an effort to do so, why can't she do the same?
It's just...hard as she tries, she can't shake it off. As they talk, she's able to put it to the back of her mind and forget about it, but it's still there, and it won't go away. And the more it lingers, the more she does want to talk about it. Because they can't keep doing this, can they? Calling themselves best friends and partners all the while harbouring feelings for each other that keep popping up to affect their friendship every so often. She doesn't want to be just friends with a guy who keeps kissing her - and who she wants to keep kissing - but she also doesn't want to date said guy if it means ruining their friendship and partnership. They need to talk about it. She just isn't sure how to bring it up.
She pulls herself out of her thoughts, hoping he didn't notice her zone out. They continue to eat quietly, now working on a cake he brought.
"Where'd you get this cake?" she decides to ask.
"Dez bought it," he says, taking another piece. "He offered to make one, but we're kind of on a tour bus, so that wouldn't go so well."
She laughs, then goes for another piece the same time Austin does - only there's enough for just one person.
She glances back up at Austin, who does the same, and takes this moment to take the piece.
"Hey!" Ally shouts, but her fake anger is short-lived when Austin holds the fork in front of her. She pulls back a bit.
"I thought you wanted it," he says, moving the fork closer to her.
She shakes her head. "It's fine, really."
This just causes him to move the fork even more. "Come on," he says. "You know you want it."
She holds back a laugh. "Austin, it's fine."
"Ally, take it."
"Fine," she says, then reaches for the fork. Austin pulls away from her hand.
She drops her hand. "I thought you said I could have it."
"Yeah, the cake, not my fork."
"Really, Austin," she deadpans.
"Yes. Now open up," he insists.
"You're so annoying sometimes," she says, but does what he asks, anyway, and lets him feed her the cake. As he does, she suddenly gets the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that this is something she'd expect him to do on a date. And last she checked, they weren't on a date. Or were they?
He takes his fork away, smiling.
She swallows the cake before smiling back. "Happy?"
He nods. "Very much, yes."
She looks down at her lap, suddenly finding it awkward between them, and she's not sure if it's because of what he did or that she thinks this might've been some sort of date. She thinks it might be the latter when she sees Austin's hand slowly inching towards hers from the corner of her eye. She sits up, moving her hand into her lap. Clearing her throat, she says, "This was really nice of you to do, Austin," she says. "It was almost like an, I don't know...date." She mutters the last part quietly, but loud enough for him to hear. She looks up to see his reaction, and finds that she may have been right. His eyes are widened in shock at first, but then he sighs and looks at the ground between them.
He shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe it was a sort of date?" he says, but he sounds unsure of it.
She sighs, turning to face him. "Austin, why did you kiss me yesterday?"
He doesn't look up when he responds. "Spur of the moment," he says. He pauses before continuing. "And...I missed you. A lot. I missed us."
"Us?"
He reaches over and takes her hand. "Yeah. Us."
She smiles, but it quickly fades, and she pulls her hand away.
"What is it?"
She sighs. "I think we need to talk," she says quietly.
"Talk?" Austin sits up, noting her seriousness. "About what?"
"About us," she answers. She looks down at her lap.
Austin tilts her head up, meeting her gaze with a concerned look. "What about us? I thought we were fine," he says, dropping his hand.
She shakes her head. "But what are we, Austin? Are we just friends and partners? Or are we more than that?"
"Of course we're more than that, Ally. We always have been."
"Okay, but how much more? I...I wanna know if I'm supposed to think we're just best friends or if we're together or..." She stops.
"Wait, together? Like...dating?" He says, hesitating on the last word.
She nods. "Yes, dating. Because, last time I checked, kissing is not something 'just friends' do," she replies.
"I don't know, every other time we kissed, we weren't dating," he mutters.
"Austin."
"Alright." He pauses. He shrugs. "I like you, Ally. A lot. You know that. But..."
She nods. "But being together is complicated." She sighs. "I know that, too." She pauses. "And you know I like you, too, Austin."
He smirks. "Yeah," he says.
She lightly hits him. "Stop smirking, that's not my point." She sighs. "My point is...we like each other and we wanna be together, but...I think the timing is just...off right now."
"The timing?" he asks. "What do you mean?"
"You're currently in the middle of your first national tour; I'm currently in the middle of recording my first album. A serious relationship needs a lot more focus than I think we'd be capable of giving it right now. And attempting to date your best friend isn't any easier, we both know that."
He nods. "I know," he says sadly. "It's just...part of me wants this so much. I wanna be able to hold your hand when we're hanging out, or...kiss you and not have you question it. I'd love to be able to take you on dates and call you my girlfriend and not have to worry about possibly losing you to some other guy. I want that." He pauses. "But at the same time, I'm afraid of losing you in so many other ways. You're my best friend, Ally, and I never want that to change."
She smiles at him, but it's almost a sad smile, because inside she knows she wants all of that too. And she's afraid of that.
She nods. "I never want that to change, either."
"So, we're agreeing to stick to being friends?" he asks.
"And partners," she replies, repeating his words from what seems like so long ago. "Always."
They don't even bother with their old game of going between the handshake and the hug and just go straight for the hug, even though they're still sitting down.
They pull back, then stand. Austin starts packing some of their things. Ally starts to help, but he shoos her off.
"You go back to the bus. I'll meet you there," he says.
She stands. "Oh. Okay." She turns and starts heading back to the bus, but doesn't make it far before Austin stops her.
"Wait. Before you go..."
She looks back at him. "Yes?"
He hesitates before responding. "Can I kiss you first?"
She gives him a questioning look. "Austin, I know we don't have the most normal of friendships, but I think we just established that kissing crosses that line."
"I know. What I meant was...can I kiss you? One last time? Before we go...before the 'just friends' rules have to apply again?" he corrects himself.
"Like a...like a sort of goodbye kiss?"
"For now."
"Oh." She pauses to think over this. A smile grows on her face and she walks back over to him. "I guess so."
He smiles, then takes another step closer to her and places a hand on her cheek and begins to lean down. She tilts her head up slowly until they meet in the middle. It's a slow and gentle kiss, natural compared to all their other ones. Her hands find their way to his chest, resting there. Slowly they pull apart. She grins shyly at him, and his thumb goes across her bottom lip. They start laughing, then pull back from each other.
"I think this friends thing is going to take a little time to adjust to," he says.
She giggles, nodding. "Yeah," she agrees. "But I think we'll manage."
"Me, too."
Still not sure how I feel about the ending, but again, I started this like two months ago and this was how I wanted to end it then, so I'm sticking to it. I also feel like Austin's a little OOC, but. Anyway. Thank you for reading, and reviewing wouldn't hurt. :)