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Surprise! It´s another Shizaya story~! *0* XD And oh yeah, I am gonna make Izaya cry in it! :D Great way of apologizing, I know. XD
Initially I intended to make this only a One-shot, but then a certain individual motivated me so much I ended up having ideas for at least two more chapters! XD I would like to dedicate this story to WaxWan! :D Thank you for being that inspiring and lovely individual~! -^.^-
PS.: The cover picture was again made by me, I posted a link for it on my profil-page. ~
Well then, that´s all I have to say... Enjoy! :D
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Chapter 1: Izaya?!
-Ikebukuro. Shizuo point of view-
Raging Shizuo strolled through the dark streets of Ikebukuro.
A few hours ago he had been doing his job as a debt collector. He had accompanied Tom-san to the house of some man that apparently didn´t want to pay back even a yen of his debt.
Well, Shizuo usually didn´t care if these bastards paid their money or not, however, the moment the man had opened his door a fucking baseball bat greeted Shizuo right in the face!
Breaking the sunglasses, he got from Kasuka!
At the next house there had been a hysterical woman, a pan to the face had been what he got from her. He really had to control himself to not send her flying.
And then… god! Just thinking about it made him incredibly furious again.
Honestly, why the hell were they always aiming for the head first?! Apart from his third pair of broken sunglasses, didn´t they know they could kill someone that way?
"Damn assholes!" he punched a wall next to him.
He tried so hard to control his anger, and yet they just had to go and make him mad! Tom-san of course noticed Shizuo´s rage and sent him home for the day.
So now he was walking around Ikebukuro just as pissed off as before.
He didn´t want to go home yet, as well as he knew himself he would probably end up destroying parts of his own apartment.
He sighed annoyed.
If he would at least meet the flea.
Not that he wanted to. Meeting him would definitely make him even more angry, but after their little fights he always felt better. Maybe because he could go all out with him, without having to fear to actually kill the louse.
He really honestly didn´t want to kill anyone. Not even him.
Of course Izaya didn´t know that, and hell Shizuo prayed he would never find out. In the few rare occasions, where he actually managed to get a hold of the flea, he just made sure to loosen his grip a bit, seemingly unintentionally to let the flea escape or take his knife or whatever he usually needed to get away from him when he was cornered.
He took a cigarette and lit it.
Well, even if he didn´t meet him he would just have to calm down by smoking and talking a walk… It was not like he needed the flea. The day before he had also been fine without someone to take his anger out on.
He paused.
Now that he thought of it, when did he see the flea the last time? The day before yesterday…?
No.
He didn´t and neither did he the day before. In fact he hadn´t seen the flea for the past week.
He sighed.
That wasn´t a good sign. Everytime that damn louse disappeared for a while, Izaya was planning something and in 90% of all cases it was some fucked up plan to take him down.
…
Why was that flea even so possessed with the idea of defeating him? Did he have nothing better to do? Still thinking Shizuo turned into an alleyway.
Not that he minded, but really what was Izaya´s goal?
He knew it was not to kill him. If the flea really wanted to murder him, he would have done it long ago. He was smart enough to do so without even having to approach him.
So why? Just for entertainment?
Sounded more like him. Well, he didn´t exactly hate their typical chases so he didn´t care what his reasons wer-
Surprised Shizuo jerked his head up as something wet touched the tip of his nose.
Ah shit, now it´s even raining…
Frowning Shizuo looked at the umbrella in his left hand. Tom-san had given it to him saying something about it beginning to pour soon before the blond went off, too pissed to even say a thing.
Shizuo frowned guiltily as he opened the umbrella, he would have to thank him properly next time.
He looked at his watch. It was already 9:48 pm.
Whoah, he didn´t realize he had been walking around for 3 hours straight.
Sighing he turned around and walked into the direction of his home.
Puddles were already forming, and except him no-one was outside it seemed. It was really quiet, only the rain drops were making lapping sounds as they poured on his umbrella.
Shizuo listened to it closely. Somehow that had an enormous calming effect on him. It was just water pouring from the sky, and yet he really liked the sound it made.
It was really soothing.
He was already close to his apartment, when he decided to stretch his walk just for a little while longer.
He didn´t have anything to do anyway.
He strolled down the dark streets, looking at the illuminated signs and inhaling the now, thanks to the rain, fresh-smelling air.
He loved the smell of the air when it rained.
That was when suddenly an odd noise disturbed the soothing rain´s music. Shizuo stopped, listening closely.
It sounded familiar to running, but had a weird sound to it.
Seconds later Shizuo realized that the weird footsteps were coming closer rapidly by the second.
Only a heartbeat later a person came out of an alley right ahead of him, stumbling onto the broad road.
So that´s what the sound was. Shizuo thought.
The person was limping.
No wonder it sounded so weird.
Abruptly Shizuo stopped in his tracks as he recognized the man.
Furry long coat, dark brown hair, a knife in his right hand, he had his back turned to Shizuo, but no doubt, that was Izaya.
Limping?
That was a surprise, how did he get hurt?
Well, didn´t matter, the flea was there, and Shizuo was up for a fight, more for the fun of it than for a calming matter now.
But while Shizuo had already seen Izaya, the flea had yet to take notice of the debt collectors precense.
Huh? That´s rare, the flea being inattentive?
He sighed. If Izaya didn´t see him coming, then he couldn´t evade the objects he was gonna throw at him…
Shizuo approached the raven, but even at the sound of his footsteps the flea didn´t seem to react.
"I thought I told you to stay out of Ikebukuro." Shizuo began already close enough to reach out for the flea´s shoulder to turn him around.
"Didn´t I? Iza-" he stopped mid-sentence as Izaya turned over by himself.
His eyes widened as he looked at the flea staring back with huge eyes. He couldn´t believe what he was seeing.
"Shizu-chan?" the raven whispered in disbelieve.
No way…
Izaya Orihara- was crying.
His face was covered in scratches and he was drenched from the rain. Little water drops dripped down his hair and clothes.
Tears were running down his pale cheeks.
What the-?!
"It´s really you Shizu-chan, isn´t it?" the flea asked suddenly, making an expression that made Shizuo´s stomach flip backwards. Even more tears began to flow down his cheeks as he asked this question.
Perplexed the blond looked at the sobbing flea intending to answer the obvious question, but didn´t get to do so as the flea suddenly lunged forward and buried himself in Shizuo´s chest, tightly grabbing his white shirt and hiding his face in the process.
"Izaya?! What are you doing?!"
Taken by surprise Shizuo wanted to shove the flea away.
He already put his hand on the ravens chest intending to push, when he felt something warm and sticky on his palm. He paused. Horrified Shizuo noticed just what this warmth was.
Blood stained the flea´s shirt colouring the whole chest. He could see even more of the crimson liquid running down Izaya´s left leg.
What the hell was going on?!
"What happened, Izaya?!" he asked now really worried.
The flea didn´t answer, instead he just grabbed the blond´s shirt tighter.
"Oi, Izaya?!" Shizuo tried again, but the only reaction he got from the raven was a flinch as he raised his voice. It was only then when he realized the flea was shivering like a leaf.
He tried to shove Izaya away a bit so he could take a better look at his injuries. Only a heartbeat later he realized how bad an idea that had been. The moment he tried to push the flea away his eyes widened in shock as he burst into tears.
"No! Please!" Frantically he gripped Shizuo´s shirt tighter his face distorting in fear.
Shizuo flinched as he looked at Izaya. His voice sounded almost pleading like he was begging for his life. That wasn´t the Izaya he knew! That wasn´t the taunting and teasing version he liked to chase through Ikebukuro! There was something seriously wrong!
"Izaya wait, I-" Shizuo was really worried now.
He didn´t know what to do! Orihara Izaya, the man he thought would never ever show any kind of emotion, was sobbing in his chest!
He couldn´t stand it!
He wanted to make Izaya look at him to snap him out of it, but the moment he motioned to move he just flipped out again.
"Don´t!... Please… let me-!" he cried broken sentences, showing an incredibly hurt expression, eyes squeezed tightly bringing out even more tears.
He looked hurt, he looked broken, lost.
Shit…!
Without thinking twice Shizuo dropped the damn umbrella and snaked his arms around the shivering flea pulling him into a tight hug.
"Shhh, it´s alright flea. Everything´s alright." He tried to soothe him with words, while holding him close.
He didn´t know what was going on, but he seriously couldn´t stand the flea looking so hurt. He wanted to comfort him. Somehow. If he could. He really hoped he could.
Izaya´s tremors however didn´t stop. His cries turned into heartbreaking sobs as Shizuo just stood there slightly panicking and tried to comfort the flea.
Damn it!
What happened?!
What should he do?!
In slow rhythm he began stroking his dark hair, while holding the flea as close as he could. He remembered how his mother had done that when he was young, it really calmed him. To his relief it seemed to have the exact same effect on Izaya.
He looked at the shivering form in his arms. He was cold.
Of course, the flea was soaking wet. Tremors shook his body.
Slowly, paying close attention to not let go of Izaya again for even a second, he pulled off his black bartender jacket and wrapped it around the shivering flea. Trying to give him at least a little bit of warmth.
But given the fact they were standing outside in the cold rain Shizuo figured it wouldn´t really help much.
Carefully, not trying to scare the flea again, he pushed Izaya back a bit, only so much that he could look him into the eyes.
"Izaya…" he began with a soothing voice. The raven rose his head a bit, barely noticing that Shizuo was talking to him.
Shizuo twitched at the empty look he received.
"It´s cold, so…" Shizuo continued, wiping away the tears that were rolling down the flea´s cheeks.
The blond´s heart clenched almost painfully as the flea looked terrified at Shizuo the moment these words left his mouth. Shizuo intended to suggest going to his place at least, since it was closer than the flea´s apartment but Izaya misunderstood.
"No, don´t leave…!" he suddenly cried and clung to Shizuo. Guilt overcame Shizuo as he realized how that must have sounded to the flea.
"No! No, Izaya, that´s not what I meant! I-I just-" he uttered guilty trying to clear up the terrible misunderstanding. However Izaya didn´t seem to listen.
Shit, what happened?!
What had broken the flea so much?! Or who?!
Did it happen during the past week?!
Another thought crossed his mind, making feel extremely awful.
Could he have helped him if he was there? If he just realized sooner that the flea had disappeared? Would he have even thought of the possibility that something happened? Could he have saved him?
No, he just would have thought nothing of it, as always. Guilt stabbed him.
He frowned and pulled the flea again in his embrace.
"I am sorry! Sorry… shit, so sorry! Izaya!" Shizuo didn´t even know what exactly he was apologizing for… the missunderstanding… or the fact he wasn´t there when the flea probably needed him most.
"I meant we could go to my apartment, together. I am not leaving you here, Izaya!" He explained, cupping informant´s face so he had to look at the blond.
Izaya nodded, lips trembling from the coldness, his eyes reflecting relief.
He couldn´t help him before, but now he would try everything he could to make the flea feel better again!
But how?!
Shit, he didn´t know what to do! That wasn´t the usual no-matter-how-hard-you-try-I-am-not-going-down Izaya, but a fucking scary fragile one.
He was crying! He couldn´t stand seeing Izaya cry! It drove him insane!
Without letting his grip on the flea falter he slid one hand down his knees and picked the flea up.
He was limping before, and didn´t seem as if he would let go of his shirt voluntarily in the next few minutes, but to Shizuo´s utmost surprise Izaya didn´t even complain. Instead, he just snuggled up closer and nuzzled into his neck.
Somewhere warm.
That´s the first thing he would do. The flea was shivering, he was cold, he would take him home.
Not speaking, not moving an inch, only silently crying till they arrived at Shizuo´s apartment.
It was a short walk, 2 minutes a most. Well, Shizuo was kinda running since he was really worried not only for Izaya´s mental state, but also his injuries.
The flea still didn´t speak a word. But his sobs also hadn´t died down as they entered Shizuo´s home.
Gently Shizuo carried the flea to his couch and sat him down.
Injuries first.
He discarded the jacket, rid Izaya of his coat and shoved up the shirt hastily. However Izaya didn´t even flinch, instead he just stared off into space with the same empty look he wore before.
Relieved Shizuo realized the injuries weren´t as bad as he imagined them to be.
Sure, Izaya had a hella lot of cuts, scattered over his whole chest, but they weren´t too deep. They weren´t even bleeding anymore. The same went for his leg.
He glanced at Izaya.
What he was more concerned about now was the flea´s mental state. What had made him cry?! For fucking gods sake, he had never seen him cry before! He couldn´t even imagine it!
But here he was, completely broken, crying his heart out.
At least the flea stopped sobbing by now, though a few tear drops were still trickling down his face from time to time.
He wiped them away gently.
"Izaya, everything will be alright, okay?" he tried to convince the flea and looked him in the eyes, but he got no response.
Just a lost glance.
He frowned. What should he do now?
He didn´t know how to handle the flea, if he was not even replying to anything he said!
Was he even helping him?
Should he even talk?
Or keep his mouth shut?
Should he hug him again?
God, he would do anything to stop him from crying!
But what was the right th-
"No…"
Surprised Shizuo jerked up his head as he heard Izaya´s voice.
"What?"
Shizuo froze as suddenly fresh tears began trickling down the flea´s face.
"I said no. It´s not going to be alright… Shizu-chan. It´s not… going to…" he stopped speaking as his eyes suddenly widened and he gripped his hair tightly, pulling up his knees.
"Not… not going to be… alright…! Shizu-chan… not… It´s-." he suddenly began hugging his knees rocking himself back and forth, constantly repeating the same words.
Shizuo´s stomach churned at the sight.
"No, no you´re wrong Izaya, everything is alright! See? I am here, I won´t let anything happen to you okay? So-"
"NO! NO, SHIZU-CHAN, YOU DON`T GET IT!" Izaya suddenly yelled, squeezing his eyes shut. Tears still dripping.
"NOTHING´S GONNA BE ALRIGHT!" he cried sobbing.
"NOTHING!"
"Izaya-"
"IT`S OVER, SHIZU-CHAN!... there is nothing… could help… it´s-" his voice died down, as he suddenly sat up straight, fear flashing over his face. Hasty he grabbed his coat Shizuo dropped on the ground next to him.
He pulled out his beloved knife he always kept in the pocket and flicked it open.
Shizuo already backed away a bit, expecting the flea to try cutting him now. What he didn´t expect was what the flea did next. Izaya stared at the silver metal lovingly, almost as if he was debating something.
Then he did it.
Shocked Shizuo watched the flea as he suddenly pressed the knife to his throat.
"IZAYA!"
Before he could even think of what he was doing he slapped the knife out of his hands and grabbed the informant´s wrists, pinning him down to the couch.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU`RE DOING?!" he yelled unintentionally loud making the flea cry even more.
"LET GO SHIZU-CHAN! LET GO!" of course he didn´t, instead he just tightened the grip on his wrists.
Shit, that just scared the hell out of him!
Izaya was not himself! He fucking tried to kill himself just now…! He-
Shit! What- what the hell was going on?!
"SHIZU-CHAN! LET GO! NOW!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.
Izaya didn´t even seem to notice his surroundings as he just continued screaming and trashing around, even hitting his table with his uninjured leg, making it emit a sickening sound.
Immediately Shizuo kicked it away so that it wasn´t in reach of the flea anymore. Even though he didn´t even seem to notice he just hurt himsel-
He is having a panic attack! Shizuo suddenly realized.
Shocked Shizuo looked at the shaking flea. He was breathing unevenly obviously trying to gasp for air despite there being nothing here to prevent him from doing so. Sweat dropped down his forehead and he was fucking cold.
That was no normal flipping out or being scared, he was fucking panicing! For whatever reason!
What should he do now?!
He heard that in case someone was panicking you should slap him in the face so they snapped out of it.
He frowned. No, he didn´t want to hit the flea when he was crying like that, it seemed so wrong. Just so fucking wrong, he couldn´t even describe how much.
What should he do?! Izaya was still trashing around and didn´t seem like he would come to his senses soon.
Sure, he could just hold him down until he came to his senses, but somehow Shizuo got the feeling he never would.
…
The point of slapping a panicking person was to surprise him, right? Punching him wouldn´t surprise the flea… just hurt or even scare him at most… he had to do something else.
Something that would leave the flea utterly speechless.
He would do anything to get him back, but what?!
What should he do?!
Suddenly an idea formed in his head.
Something totally unexpected, right?
Something that would take the flea by surprise.
Without thinking twice Shizuo let go of his wrists, leaned forward, pushed the flea down on his couch and pressed his lips on Izaya´s trembling ones.
…
Shocked Izaya looked at the blond.
…
His movements died down and a staggered look replaced the scared expression.
He momentarily stopped trashing around, his eyes widening instead as he looked at Shizuo. The debt collector himself just as fascinated by his own actions.
Relief washed over the blond like a wave.
He stopped! He fucking stopped!
Izaya blinked confused, once, twice-
Experimentally Shizuo began moving his lips against Izaya´s. He didn´t want the flea to turn back on remembering whatever had caused him to panic so much. His eyes were still reflecting surprise instead of fear, but also something else he could not define.
Suddenly Izaya closed his eyes and began to kiss him back. Hesitantly first, but soon he slowly melted into the kiss.
And staggered Shizuo realized, that he liked it!
He had never ever kissed someone before, but…
Hell yeah he was kissing Izaya and he liked it!
Before he realized it he slipped his tongue into Izaya´s mouth, wanting more. Izaya gasped at the foreign object slipping in his mouth, but didn´t seem to mind, as he pressed his hot lips eagerly back against Shizuo´s. Letting go of his wrists Shizuo pushed himself up slightly not breaking the kiss, resting his weight on one arm while wiping the flea´s tears away.
The kiss became even more addicting, as Izaya looped his arms around Shizuo´s neck, tangling in his hair, pressing them even closer. Tongues carrying out a silent battle. Izaya gasped hotly into Shizuo´s mouth, and before Shizuo could even think about what he was doing he leaned down, putting one of his legs between Izaya´s and pressed him harder into the mattress. A gasp escaped the informant´s lips.
And god, he loved it…! The purpose of the kiss was long forgotten.
They were both breathing heavily when they parted in need for air. Shizuo reached for Izaya´s back, trying to pull him closer again.
However he froze up instantly, as a silent sob reached his ears.
Worried he backed away, looking at a little teardrop running down Izaya´s cheek again.
He looked at the flea in shock.
Had he hurt him?!
That was the first terrifying thought that rushed through his mind.
Only when he realized that Izaya´s arms were still wrapped around his neck and even tried to hold him closer as the teardrop fell he calmed down again.
…
No.
He didn´t hurt him.
…
He leaned down again cupping Izaya´s face with his hands.
"Izaya, why are you crying?" Shizuo asked with a soft voice, while wiping away his tears.
But the flea didn´t answer, instead he pulled himself up and hid his face in Shizuo´s neck continuing sobbing silently. Shizuo took the hint and just hugged the flea back, not peering for more answers.
"Shhh, it´s alright Izaya. Everthing´s alright." he mumbled soothing, rocking the smaller male in his arms.
He didn´t know what else to do.
At least the flea didn´t seem to panic again, instead he just snuggled closer, audible trying to suppress his sobs.
Shizuo felt the rage burn inside as he held the informant. Whoever had hurt his flea like this, if he ever met them, he would beat the fucking life out of them.
No one was allowed to hurt his flea.
No one.
Comforting he continued stroking Izaya´s back, whispering soothing words from time to time, not leaving Izaya´s hands out of sight for a second.
The knife was too far away for the flea to reach, but who knew what he would do instead if he suddenly decided to end his life again.
So he just kept on rocking the smaller male watching him closely, feeling tears soaking his shirt.
…
About half an hour passed till he finally stopped sobbing.
…
Shizuo still heard the quiet hicks Izaya was trying to hide, but his tears died down at least.
Slowly he backed away a bit, leaving just enough space between them so he could look him into the eyes.
More than releaved he realized that the flea was looking back. Not with an empty look like he had before, but actually seeing the blond.
He wiped away the flea´s tears.
…
"Shizu-chan, why did you kiss me?" Izaya suddenly asked with a raspy voice.
Shizuo drew back his hand.
He kissed him to stop him from panicing…
But why he did what happened then… he had no clue.
He shrugged and his glance fell on the flea´s injuries.
"Who did this?" he asked instead of giving a reply, regretting it immediately as the flea flinched.
"Don´t answer my question with another one, Shizu-chan." The flea responded quiet.
Shizuo cursed himself for asking as the flea looked away again, a sad expression painted on his face.
"Sorry." He mumbled.
Silence took over again.
…
"Why do you want to know?" the raven suddenly asked.
"Tch, isn´t it obvious? So I can beat them up so hard they never dare to try something like this again." Shizuo explained angry. Oh yeah, he would definitely beat them up! harder than anyone else in his life so far!
"Haha, Shizu-chan wants to protect me~" Izaya suddenly chuckled, a little smile appearing on his face.
Shizuo stared at him light headed.
He was smiling! Just a little, but he was! After so much crying!
Thank god!
Relieved he listened closely, sucking in every precious word that was willing to escape the informants lips. He didn´t want to miss even one of them.
Izaya looked at Shizuo tilting his head.
"What? No denying it? Watch it Shizu-chan, I am going to believe it~" he joked closing his eyes tired.
Dazed Shizuo looked at the flea.
He was behaving like normal again!
He really was!
"Then do." he whispered relieved.
Surprised Izaya blinked.
"Eh…?"
Without warning Shizuo leaned forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Izaya, holding him in a close embrace, leaning his head on the flea´s shoulder. Izaya struggled for a short moment, not getting what the blond was doing.
"Damnit, they actually made you cry…" he felt the flea freeze at the words.
"Shizu-chan?" he whispered, barely audible.
He still didn´t let go of the flea.
He didn´t want to.
Suddenly he felt the flea´s arms again, hands tangling in his hair, slowly stroking it from time to time.
…
"Don´t tell me you care." The flea said jokingly after a while.
Shizuo didn´t answer immediately, instead he just tightened his grip even more.
"I do."
He didn´t need to see the flea´s face to know just how surprised he had to look right now.
"Wha-"
"I just do okay?" he interrupted Izaya. Knowing he would just ask some question he couldn´t answer again.
For a moment there was just silence. No word was spoken, no movement was made.
Izaya was the one to first break it.
He snuggled into Shizuo´s chest.
"Shizu-chan?" he mumbled faint. For a moment Shizuo wasn´t even sure the flea really said something.
"Hm?"
Silence again. Probably he really missheard?
But no he didn´t as the flea slowly continued.
"…are we still enemies?" he whispered into Shizuo´s chest taking him by surprise.
He tilted his head upwards, facing the ceiling.
Were they still enemies…?
…
He sighed.
Enemies…ka?
At least as far as it concerned Shizuo, they weren´t enemies anymore, hell, they probably never really were to begin with.
Holding the flea still in his arms he changed their positions. While Izaya lied on the couch, Shizuo towered over him capturing the flea with his legs and arms on both sides, Izaya´s face only centimeters apart from his as he leaned down.
Mocha eyes stared into scarlet ones as he whispered.
"No..."
He bend down, eyes closed, bangs falling forward as he placed a butterfly kiss on Izaya´s forehead.
"…we are not."
Dazed the flea looked at Shizuo.
He lifted a hand, brushing away a bang falling in Izaya´s face as he leaned down again, pressing his forehead to Izaya´s.
He wanted to never let go of the flea again.
…
…
His flea.
Aaand, that´s it! XD Oh yeah, we still don´t know what the fucking hell happened to Izaya?! XD
What did you think of this story? Please do tell! :D
Next chapter will start out exactly where chapter 1 left off, after all, we don´t know yet how exactly Izaya will react to Shizuo´s latest actions... -^.^-
! Chapter 2: I'm sorry... due to 1.8.2014 !
PS.: Oh, and for those who worry, I assure you, Izaya has a REALLY good reason for crying, but he was NOT raped. I could never bring myself to hurt the flea that way. Never, in none of my stories! -^.^-