Season 2, Episode 5

Story 18: I Told You So

Chapter 8: Just Live

The next morning found Gaius, Gwen and Morgana stirring from a restless night's sleep. Arthur hadn't slept at all. He was still staring at Merlin with the blank expression he'd had on his face since he brought Merlin in.

Gaius went to examine Merlin. Three sets of eyes followed his every movement. "He is weaker," Gaius said sadly. Gaius feared the potion hadn't worked. It should have started to take effect by now. Gaius changed Merlin's bandage. His wound did not look any better.

"Is there anything you can do?" Arthur asked him, not taking his eyes off of Merlin. Arthur's voice sounded hollow.

Gaius studied Arthur for a moment. The young prince was taking Merlin's injury so personally. Gaius could understand if Arthur blamed himself for it, but it was more than that. Gaius could see that something was tearing Arthur apart.

Gaius shook his head. There was nothing he could do to make this better, but he could sense that Arthur needed some time alone with Merlin. That much, Gaius could do.

Gaius quickly fabricated an excuse that would require him to leave. It would give Arthur a few hours with Merlin to say his goodbyes. "I may need to go collect some herbs that will help fight the infection in his wound, but that is the most that can be done for him. The rest is up to him," Gaius explained. He was grateful that Arthur, Gwen, and Morgana weren't overly familiar with medical practices. If Merlin were awake he would have seen right through Gaius's lies. Merlin's wound wasn't infected, not in the slightest.

"Then go. Get those herbs. Gwen and Morgana will help you," Arthur told them. His words confirmed Gaius's suspicions. He wanted to talk to Merlin alone. Arthur's voice betrayed how terrified he was, and even Morgana didn't have the heart to disobey Arthur's orders.

Gaius grabbed a basket before heading out the door. Gwen dutifully followed him. Morgana observed Arthur for a moment, studying the defeated look on his face and the gaunt look on his face. "I'm sorry Arthur," she whispered before she followed Gaius out.

Arthur forced himself to his feet. He slowly walked towards Merlin and took a seat at the stool that was next to where Merlin was lying.

Arthur grasped Merlin's hand. Merlin's hand was warm, it reminded Arthur of the warmth that always radiated from Merlin. The same warmth Arthur had felt during their kiss.

Arthur closed his eyes. Too much. Too much had happened. "You know Merlin," Arthur said slowly. "You think that you can do this, this whole dying thing, but you can't. I forbid it. I know you never listen to me, but please for once, follow my orders. For once, do what I say. Just don't die. That's all I want. I'll never ask anything from you again, well aside from asking you to perform your normal duties." When Merlin didn't stir, Arthur continued. "If ever you held me in any regard, if ever you cared for me in any way, please pull through this. For me. Don't die."

Arthur clutched Merlin's hand tighter. "I know I don't have the right to ask this of you. You do so much for me and never ask for recognition or praise. If you've had these powers all along, I can't even begin to imagine how many times you may have saved my life. Thank you for everything you have done. For saving my life, for saving Camelot. But most importantly, thank you for helping me understand love. I didn't know feelings like this existed until that day that you drank poison for me. I realized I would rather die than watch you die. That was over two years ago and my love for you has only grown. I don't care if I sound like a love-struck girl right now, my words are true. Please Merlin. Please don't die. I'm not ready to lose you." Arthur couldn't help the tears that fell from his eyes. He blinked trying to get rid of them, but the tears fell relentlessly.

He hadn't lost Merlin yet, but he had gotten a glimpse of what his future would be like without Merlin. He never wanted that future, but he wasn't sure he would get what he wanted.

Arthur wasn't aware of how much time was passing. He had long since rested his head against Merlin's chest. Arthur's eyes were closed as he listened to the faint sound of his beating heart. As long as he heard that heart beat, Arthur had hope.

Arthur hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep until something woke him up. Arthur sat up straight, looking around to see what had woken him. When his eyes landed on Merlin, he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. Merlin was pale and sweaty, but he was awake.

Merlin struggled to sit up on the table and Arthur quickly helped him. "You're alive," Arthur breathed.

Merlin looked over at Arthur. He couldn't tell if Arthur was angry he had survived or relieved. "What are you going to do to me?" Merlin asked Arthur.

Arthur scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion. In everything he had imagined when he thought about what he would do if Merlin had woken up, that wasn't even on the list. "What?" Arthur asked uncertainly.

"I have magic," Merlin reminded him.

"I don't care," Arthur told him seriously.

"Why not?" Merlin asked uncertainly.

"I don't have room to care about your magic. Not when I am filled with so much love for you. I nearly lost you. If I had, it would have killed me," Arthur told him seriously. "I thought your magic would change you, but it didn't. You're still so… so you. I love you Merlin, I love everything about you, including your magic."

"But… your father," Merlin said distractedly. Arthur was very close to him and it was making him incoherent.

"What my father doesn't know won't hurt him," Arthur said with a shrug.

"We still can't be together," Merlin said wistfully. He wanted nothing more than to be with Arthur, but that future could never come to pass.

"Because you are a man?" Arthur guessed. Merlin nodded. "And because you cannot provide me with an heir?" Once again, Merlin nodded.

Arthur looked him dead in the eye. "I don't care about that. I'll be like my father and take in a ward when we get older. I will name them my successor. I will be with you and only you. That is what I am meant to do. And no amount of arguing will change my mind," Arthur told him stubbornly.

Merlin almost laughed. Arthur reminded him of a toddler with his crossed arms and his stubborn expression.

Merlin wasn't conscious of moving, but suddenly he was crushing his lips to Arthur's. It was enough to know Arthur had given it a great deal of thought. It was enough to know that Arthur had a plan so Camelot would not be doomed if they were together. It was enough to know that Arthur loved him enough to come up with such a plan.

Their lips moved together, creating a dance of love and passion that left them gasping for air. When they broke apart, Merlin rested his forehead against Arthur's. "You were right," Arthur admitted when he had found his voice. "When we were trapped by Catrina, you said you were still the same person. I didn't believe you at first, but now I do."

"I told you so," Merlin said smugly.

"Are you really trying to say I told you so right now?" Arthur asked, rolling his eyes. Sometimes Merlin was far too childish for his own good.

"That's not the only thing I wanted to say. Although it is true that if you had listened to me from the beginning, we could have saved ourselves a whole lot of trouble," Merlin teased. The amusement vanished from Merlin's face as he looked into Arthur's eyes.

He didn't know how he had been lucky enough to deserve Arthur. Arthur was so good, just, and kind. He was a better man than any Merlin had ever known. "I love you Arthur," Merlin told him. It was the first time he said it out loud. To anyone. But he knew it was true. And he knew now was the perfect moment to tell him.

"I love you too," Arthur whispered before he kissed Merlin again.

Merlin closed his eyes, allowing himself to melt into the kiss. This was perfection.

Let me know what you think!