Chapter 85: Draco

The cold came early. It was Halloween and Maggie was shivering, clutching her jacket tightly to her body. Hogsmeade was swarming with Hogwarts students on their first trip for the year. Maggie hadn't visited the village for years – since seventh year – and fondly took in the familiar surroundings. She walked under the bridge where in her fifth year, Charlie had carved their initials. Years of carvings covered the old and splintered wood, but Maggie could still see the love heart surrounding the letters C.W and M.T. She felt a pang in her chest, remembering her date with Charlie all those years ago, when things were blissful and simple and the longest time they were apart was a few weeks in the summer. She remembered how her hair had changed to the exact hue of Charlie's and she couldn't turn it back until she realised why. Lately, Maggie wondered if breaking up before he moved to Romania was the best idea. She sighed inwardly as she gently ran her finger across the heart, knowing it wouldn't have changed the distance between them and would have made it harder for both of them.

It was less than two months until she would see Charlie. She reminded herself of this before walking back onto the main path of the village. It would have been all too easy to stand under that bridge and think about Charlie, but it would do her no good. Besides, today was a day she had been counting down just as eagerly as Christmas. Maggie continued her walk down to the outskirts of Hogsmeade towards the Hogs Head, the place where Draco had asked they meet. It was the safest place, away from the prying eyes of most people. Especially anyone who worked for the Ministry. Anyone could be assigned the job of watching her movements. Perhaps it was outlandish, but not entirely so.

It was one thing Umbridge being suspicious about Maggie working in a muggle bookstore. That was pureblood bigotry, as simple as that. But knowing about her trip to Azkaban and the prisoner she visited… well, that was something else. It put both her and Dora under suspicion – and Charlie, she supposed, although he was in another country – for conspiring with a criminal. Maggie was under the impression that her visit would remain a secret, but a woman like Umbridge would relish in being the one to find out where Sirius Black was hidden, and it made sense that she scoured through files to find any possible connection. Much like what was being done in Pureblood Power Abolishment and what lead Maggie and Leonie to discovering Eliza's old house. Maggie constantly worried she was being monitored, or even worse, that Dora was. Although there was nothing illegal about visiting a prisoner, in the current climate of the wizarding world such information coming out would not be good. And if her parents found out… how would they explain themselves? Especially to Andromeda, who only recently came to terms with Sirius's escape. It would be a betrayal if she found out.

That was only the tip of the iceberg when it came to the Ministry Ball. But Maggie didn't want to think about that.

Maggie entered the Hogs Head, pleased to see it was mostly empty. She ordered a strong coffee and a butterbeer for Draco and took a seat in a far corner. Her sleep had been awful the past two weeks, and the effect of the sleeping potion which worked wonders for years had drastically weakened. Last night it took all her self restraint not to scream after waking up from a nightmare; she didn't want her family to worry.

The door of the pub opened. Maggie snapped out of her thoughts and shifted her attention to the blonde figure walking towards her. Draco had the same cold, standoffish air about him as Lucius, but as his gaze set on Maggie his expression warmed up, a smile playing on his lips. Maggie felt a rush of affection for her cousin. They had maintained their relationship via weekly letters for so long that it was almost as if nothing had changed between them, and yet at the same time it felt like they were meeting entirely new versions of each other.

"What happened to your arm?" she asked worriedly as he sat down.

"There was an incident with a hippogriff. That oaf Hagrid thought it would be a good idea to introduce one to us third years on our first lesson of Care of Magical Creatures."

Maggie frowned. Hagrid, despite initial appearances, was a kind and gentle man and she had fond memories of him from her time at Hogwarts. "Did you do anything to provoke the hippogriff? I doubt Hagrid would have done anything to put his class in danger."

Draco scoffed, but Maggie caught his eyes shifted guilty to his hands. "He's a horrible teacher. His lessons have been an absolute yawn."

"Seems the first one was pretty eventful," she countered, holding back a smirk. "Your injury must be quite severe if you're still bandaged up."

"It is, thank you very much," he snapped. "The school board are involved, father made sure of that. There looking into Hagrid's credentials to see if he's actually capable of teaching us. I hope they fire him and execute that hippogriff."

Maggie thought that Draco's anger seemed irrational and misdirected. It was too personal. She opened her mouth but he ploughed on. "Hogwarts has really gone downhill. The groundskeeper becoming a teacher? That's preposterous. And our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, he looks like he's on death's doorstep. He and Hagrid favour the Gryffindors. Especially Potter and Weasley and the Mudblood Granger-"

"Oh, shut up Draco." He had hit a nerve, and although his attitude was unsurprising, he had been mistaken thinking she'd just take it. "You didn't answer me; did you provoke that hippogriff? Don't bother," she snapped, holding her hand up as his mouth opened in outrage. "I know that you did. Just like I know that Professor Lupin is actually a good teacher and that the only teacher who favours a house is Snape. You have no idea what it was like to grow up during the war, and you never will, thanks to Harry Potter. If I were you, I'd be grateful. And you do know that Ronald Weasley's brother is my best friend, don't you? But you know what, all that doesn't even compare to that slur. I can't believe you think that's okay. No, I know you don't. Daddy's the shepherd and you're the sheep though, right?"

Draco opened his mouth then closed it. All outrage left his expression, and he appeared vulnerable. Maggie knew how to hit a nerve right back. Draco may act the part of the pureblood Slytherin, son of Lucius Malfoy, but deep down he was more like Narcissa than even he knew; scared and unsure of who he was. Maggie saw a kid indoctrinated since birth, lead astray, but that still had a good heart. The ego his father had constructed for him was beginning to take over though, as Maggie knew and accepted would happen when she decided to leave the Malfoys and live with her family. Maybe she could get through to him before it was too late, maybe not. But she knew her words would stay in his mind regardless.

"You… you're not my sister. You have no right to talk to me like that. You haven't seen me since…"

"Since when?" Maggie offered gently. "You remember, right?"

The cousins shared a look. Maggie remembered that Christmas Eve all those years ago, when she followed the Malfoys down Knockturn Alley and Lucius turned his cane upon her, threatening to kidnap her to escape Bellatrix's revenge. How he had almost used the Cruciatus Curse on her, but Draco had run from Narcissa's arms and pushed him away, allowing her to escape. The last thing Maggie saw of eight-year-old Draco was Lucius striking him across the face. She remembered Lucius's threats of violence against his own son, delivered out of fear that Bellatrix would find out that Maggie was no longer under his roof. How imprudent of him to allow her to attend Hogwarts. Maggie supposed Narcissa put her foot down, and Lucius was too arrogant to believe that the girl he had raised as his own would ever leave his family, even upon meeting her own.

"I could have let him," Draco mumbled, breaking the eye contact and looking down at the table. "Would have been better for me. I wouldn't have spent years missing you."

"Why didn't you?"

Draco fiddled with his cup. He sighed and looked up. "It was a split-second choice, but it was your hair. It was purple. I remembered how mother and father didn't approve of you changing your hair, but you would always do it in secret with me. You loved your coloured hair. Life in the Manor may have been dark without you, but you never belonged there. I didn't want you to live having to pretend again."

Maggie reached across the table and placed her hand on Draco's. "I owe you everything, Draco. I've felt horrible not being able to see you for all these years. But you know whose fault that is. And I'm not saying your father is a bad person-" although that's exactly what she was saying; those ice cold eyes locked on hers at the ministry ball had brought back a terror she hadn't felt in a long time –"but you aren't him. You've shown that, and you don't have to be. You are brave and smart and you don't have to follow the crowd, or do what you think would please your father. You don't have to listen to what I say, either. But you do have to think for you."

She gave Draco's hand a squeeze, feeling tears well in her eyes as she saw them glistening in his. He was growing into his face, which had narrowed and pointed considerably since their last encounter, but he still looked boyish and young and not the least bit menacing. But she could imagine what his face looked like when he channeled the act drilled into him. It pained her to know what type of Slytherin he would be. But all hope wasn't lost, and she thought that maybe having her back in his life would help him become the person he would have been if she stayed.

"I'm glad I came today."

"Me too," Maggie conceded, letting go of his hand. "Just don't forget, I may not have been around all these years, but I'm still the big sister you never had. I'll always tell it to you how it is."

Draco rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. "Yeah, yeah."

There was a moment of comfortable silence as the two sipped their drinks. Maggie had missed Draco. It seemed a lifetime ago since they had seen each other, but it also felt as if barely any time had passed at all. She was glad that her position in his life hadn't shifted with the sands of time.

"Where are you working?" Draco questioned curiously.

Maggie paused, anticipating how Draco would instinctually react to the answer. "A muggle bookstore."

She expected disgust, but instead he looked incredulous. "Why on earth would you want to work in a muggle bookstore? Where's your ambition?"

Maggie started, but then stopped. Lately she wondered that herself. It wasn't as though she didn't enjoy what her work stood for, but it wasn't going anywhere. Even if they did catch who was selling cursed books to the store, would anything even happen to them? The ministry ball showed her the idea that purebloods are the elite was engrained into the minds of most witches and wizards, even if they didn't realise it. They would always be given the benefit of the doubt because of the 'generosity' of men like Lucius Malfoy.

But there was more to it than that. She surveyed Draco, who didn't appear judgmental, but enquiring and surprised. She sighed and took a sip of her coffee. "I guess I've been lacking in that lately."

"No shit," Draco replied, a small crease forming in between his brows. "But why?"

That was a good question. Much of Maggie's mental capacity was taken up by worrying, and the lack of sleep didn't help. It started after the ministry ball. She couldn't tell Draco about it; telling him how his father had triggered an onslaught of memories of a childhood she mostly wanted to forget wasn't exactly a comfortable conversation topic. But Draco was watching her with concern etched on his features and for the first time in weeks, Maggie wanted to talk.

"Things haven't been easy lately. I guess while it was all happening, I didn't notice, but the past few years have been crazy. I was having really bad nightmares for awhile, about... about our Aunt, Bellatrix. Snape actually helped me out in my seventh year. He brewed me a potion for dreamless sleep and showed me how to do it. It's been helping up until recently. It's stopped working and I can't properly sleep. I'm sleep deprived and paranoid and work is just... it's just not important anymore. I think I've been running for too long and everything's catching up. Only thing is, I don't know what everything is. I don't know how many of my nightmares are repressed memories or truth."

Maggie was worried she unloaded too much on Draco, that he was too young to understand, but he solemnly nodded and sighed. "Mother said I never met Bellatrix. You know, mother fears her more than father does. She knows that she will forgive her for losing you, but that she will get revenge somehow. Mother loves her - she's her sister, of course she does - but I think there's more fear than love. Maybe you're right; I should be grateful to Potter. I have nightmares about her too, even though I've only seen what she looks like in photographs, so at least I know that's all they are. Maybe you should talk to Snape. Or I could-"

Maggie waved her hand dismissively. "Thank you, but no. I know what Snape will say." Years ago, he had informed Maggie that she was a natural occlumens and to break the hold on her mind that Bellatrix's abuse created, she would have to break down that protective barrier. Maggie knew what this involved: Snape attempting to penetrate her mind with the legilimens spell. The idea of Snape exploring the corners of her conscious and unconscious mind was terrifying and invasive and an absolute last resort. "I'll be okay. I have to be, for Mum and Dad and Dora. I don't want them knowing I'm not okay or thinking I'm stuck on the past when I have so much to be grateful for in the present."

Draco didn't look convinced. Frowning, he rebutted. "You haven't had a normal life. I doubt they expect you to be."

"They know something's up. Look, I'd be fine with the lack of sleep if I didn't feel so vulnerable. Dora is almost a fully qualified Auror and I'm beginning to regret not becoming one, because she's so well protected. I went well in school but I don't know all that many defensive and offensive spells."

"Teach yourself then. That's what I had to do last year. Maybe that will help get some of your ambition back. No offense, but it's a bit embarrassing knowing my cousin is working in a muggle bookstore - and I'd say the same if you worked at Flourish and Blotts, for the record" he added, smirking. Maggie grudgingly smiled. She could never tell Draco the truth, but all that considered, Maggie really was losing faith and interest in changing the ethics of the wizarding world. Three years of Pureblood Power Abolishment had taught her that change is a slow process, especially when inequality was exponentially growing.

"That isn't a bad idea. It would help."

"It would." Draco's pale eyes lit up, and Maggie sensed he was on the verge of a rant. "That's the issue with Hogwarts. They think it is dangerous to teach students about dark magic. In the real world, knowing dark magic could be the difference between life and death. But of course, Hogwarts professors are stuck in the honeymoon faze of the Dark Lord's fall. That's a mistake. If Sirius Black escaped Azkaban, who next? I know I'd rather learn about the magic that could be used against me and how I can defend myself than theory on dark magical creatures. It doesn't get much better in older years, either; I asked Marcus Flint. They touch on the Unforgiveables but that's it. I've learned more from the Restricted Section than any of the teachers I've had."

Maggie nodded thoughtfully. "I had a teacher in seventh year who was very thorough. We had to fight off the Imperius curse, and I know Dumbledore had to bend the rules to allow that. But that's about as far as the Hogwarts curriculum could be pushed. I think you're right; without education on dark magic, students won't know what to do when faced with it. The Unforgiveables are the worst of the worst, but there's so much in-between that I have no idea about."

"That's why father wanted to send me to Durmstrang," he continued. "But mother wouldn't allow it. I'll admit, Lupin's probably the best teacher we've had yet, even if he is a little weird. I suppose for third year curriculum, he's doing alright. It's a shame the jobs cursed. There's such inconsistent teaching."

"Maybe Lupin will be the one to break the curse," Maggie suggested. Dora had told her from her last correspondence with Remus that he was enjoying the role as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, and unless there were some unforeseen circumstances she didn't see why he'd leave the job.

"I doubt it. He's so sickly looking, I'd be surprised if he lasts the whole year."

Maggie felt awful for Remus. Although his monthly transformations would be less painful with the wolfsbane potion, she imagined the stress of a Hogwarts student possibly finding out about his condition and of Sirius's escape would be taking its toll. Dora didn't say much about their letters, so she could only assume. "I hope he does."

"What's it to you?"

"Oh, I've met him before," Maggie remarked mildly. "He's a nice man."

"Fair enough," Draco shrugged. "I've seen him giving chocolate to students. Not everyone is agreeing with the Dementors guarding Hogwarts."

Maggie flinched, a prickling feeling spreading from her chest upwards. It was the Dementors that initially triggered her depressive state and nightmares, and the thought of being literally surrounded by them all day every day was horrifying. "Are you?"

"No. I think that's why I've been having nightmares lately. At least I'm not like Potter, fainting all over the place." His tone was scathing, but he was avoiding eye contact. Draco may have some sort of rivalry with Harry Potter, but Maggie saw that he wasn't entirely hateful towards the Boy Who Lived.

"Can you blame him? He's had an awful life. An orphan famous for something he can't even remember." Maggie felt an ache of sympathy for Harry Potter. She had accepted growing up with the lie she had no parents, but at least it wasn't a reality. Hopefully, it wouldn't be long until Pettigrew was captured. Maybe Potter could start the semblance of a normal life with Sirius as his godfather.

"Yeah, well, he's still a prat," Draco mumbled, scowling across the bar. Maggie raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything more. Draco had never discussed any issues with Potter through their letters, but rivalries between Gryffindors and Slytherins were normal. It was a shame, because she had hoped that Draco would become friends with Ronald Weasley. In retrospect, that was overly optimistic.

"Are you still friends with Crabbe and Goyle?"

"Friend is a strong word. They're too dumb to understand much."

Maggie grinned. "Glad you finally see it."

"You remember Theodore Nott? I'm friends with him. He's not as much of an idiot as he was when we were kids. Then there's Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson. Blaise is alright, but Pansy's a bit annoying. She follows me around."

"Oooh," she teased. "Someone's a fan."

Draco scrunched his face in disgust. "Yeah, and I'm not happy about it. She ran up to mother, father and I at the station in September. Mother likes her and knows her family and hopes we get married."

Maggie rolled her eyes. Draco was only thirteen and his parents were already thinking about potential suitors. Her betrothal to Anthony Neeson was one of the most degrading, humiliating and downright awful experiences of her teenage years and she hoped that Draco never had to go through it too. "Don't worry about it too much. You're only thirteen."

"Father says I'm practically a man."

"A man who had to get a permission slip signed to come to Hogsmeade today."

"Touche," Draco replied. He checked his watch. "I better get going. I told Nott that I'd meet him around midday."

"Let me know when your next visit is. We'll meet here again."

Draco nodded, stood up and pushed his chair in. Maggie followed suit. He may be only thirteen, but Draco already towered over Maggie. It was strange to get used to. He grinned – a rarity, and something she hadn't seen in years. Tears pricked her eyes but blinked them back quickly. "Roles have reversed," he snickered, pulling her into a bear hug. Maggie didn't want him to go. For the first time in weeks she felt almost normal; so normal she forgot the residual aura of depression the presence of nearby dementors left in the air. Not only that, but she had been able to talk about what was going on. During their childhood, Maggie looked after Draco; she supposed roles really had reversed today. Draco giving constructive advice on what to do with herself had been more than she could have hoped to come out of opening up.

"Stay out of trouble," Maggie warned as she pulled away from the hug. "I have my sources of information, if need be."

"Oooh, I'm terrified," Draco drawled sarcastically, but his eyes were warm. "I'll see you soon."

"See you soon," Maggie echoed, as she watched his retreating back. Once had had left the pub, Maggie let out a long sigh. She had to go back to work tomorrow, put on a brave face and try not to fall asleep. Christmas was still months away. For all she knew, Umbridge had set a spy on her to make sure she wasn't affiliating with anyone suspicious. The whole wizarding community was on the hunt for Sirius, and it was only a matter of time before he did something rash. There was so much she had to hide from the people around her and it was beginning to encroach on her sanity.. She felt an uncomfortable hot feeling rising in her neck, a sense of dread fill her stomach. She exited the pub quickly and made a beeline for the nearest spot to apparate home. She didn't need the Dementors presence making her thoughts louder than they already were.