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It took the greatest scientists and perfumers in the world to cure Eternal BO. It also took the entire family fortune to pay for the remedy, but Valentine's mother could not allow her son to reek as he did while he was living in her house. It was suggested he move out but he was only seventeen-hundred-and-thirty-years old.

The night he was cured, Valentine swore vengeance against Monster High and all its students. As he rebuilt his reputation with a few floozy vamps around his nearest Blood Bank, Valentine plotted.

He plotted something to shame the ghouls that humiliated him. He plotted to torture the werewolf who threatened him. He dreamed of watching the little ghoul with pigtails choke with dehydration in a desert.

Valentine plotted day with furious drive until he heard a knock on his bedroom door.

Valentine's zombie servant escorted a pink and bone-pale ghoul towards his bedroom. Her surprise visit was a delight because she was Valentine's only real friend, and (to his excitement) she looked miserable.

"What do I owe for this honor?" Valentine told his guest before he sipped a glass of clean, pure O Negative.

C.A. Cupid had a cup of lemonade. Her glass matched Valentine's, she wanted something stronger but the vampire didn't have wine. He was very much against even red wine.

"I was in the neighborhood." Cupid said nonchalantly.

Valentine smiled behind the glass at his lips, "You cute liar, you told me you were transferring to a different dimension."

"It's very easy for demigods to hop around those."

"I ask again; what did I, a mere immortal, do to deserve such divine company?"

Compliments were common in their friendship. If you can even call it that, Cupid thought. After the Sweet-Sixteen hundred party incidents, Cupid became intrigued with Valentine. She'd seen playboys before, and knew vampires were very dramatic about romance but after a good five hundred years most vamps were interested in commitment. Not always lifetimes long, but Cupid learned Valentine's type of monster wanted companionship; in quality, not quantity.

However, Valentine was old enough and still acted like a fledgling. At first she saw him as a bat with a broken wing. The bone-white ghoul quickly learned he was a one-dimensional a-hole with indifference to love and devotion to pleasing himself.

Such a man was not Cupid's type, but she gained incredible insight to Valentine's type of lover. Debates on marriage, seducing techniques, sex, after sex and the complexities of Thank-You cards were never so well argued than between Valentine and Cupid. He was against everything she believed in, but the fanged-banger was still the most convincing actor she'd ever met (and she personally knew Muses). He was like a master chef at work with the soul of a vegan.

Cupid blushed. "I missed feeling good. You make me sick and you make me happy. Sort of."

"Chariclo." Valentine walked up to his 'friend'. "You just brought Cryptmas in early."

I'll take the regret later, Cupid thought as he put his hand under her ears. She felt his fangs under the kiss on her neck. They grew longer and stronger, it made her stomach turn and her legs burn.

To please his snack-of-the-night, Valentine snapped his fingers. "Play it boys!"

Three grey clouds flew from the shadows. They hovered above Valentine and Cupid's head. Their smoky voices began a song that was wholesome in lyrics and seductive in melody.

There was no game with Cupid; she knew what she wanted and she knew he'd comply. What he didn't know was how different her temper was compared to their past tussles.

Valentine put his hands under Cupid's bottom to lift her closer to him. The bone-thin wings on Cupid's back began to flutter. Valentine took that as a sign he was doing well with Cupid's continent size under garments. As his ascot and vest fell to the floor, the two monsters crawled up the wall.

Her wings against Valentine's 18th century self-portrait, Cupid didn't search for the vampire's eyes. It was something she did before, when she wanted him to make a real connection. A real connection was not her concern at the moment and that suited him fine.

The vicious lover had a palm to the wall, on Cupid's neck and his knees on the sides of her tiny waist.

"Tu sei il sole del mio giorno." Valentine told his bubble-gum pink companion.

"Italian is your worst accent."Cupid teased, a normal event between them.

"Humor me, Q-cake." Valentine said, kissing the wrist that was holding his face.

"Please be quiet." The blue-eyed girl said as she brought his hand from the top of her curls to over her right breast. "This isn't about romance, I just need a shot of adrenaline."

Before I go back to Ever After High, Cupid thought.

Valentine was prepared to start biting. He liked his lips as he watched Cupid's mouth become an 'o' shape. The black-hearted devil remembered how much he liked her tiny amount of lipstick. "Just call me Prince Charming, Darling."

The wicked 'prince' opened his mouth to give Cupid a bite on her divine white skin. He barely pierced the surface of skin when he felt a wetness run down his cheek. The vampire's rose-colored eyes looked up to see Cupid had begun to cry.

"What is wrong with you, woman?" Valentine felt a strange gnawing go on in his chest. If he were a ghoul, he'd consider something was affecting his ice-cold heart.

"Nothing, nothing at all. Just eat me up." The little skeletal ghoul's voice was strained from holding in pain.

The frozen tundra that was his soul was no longer in the mood to create a ravished-Cupid-raisin. Valentine put one arm under Cupid's wings and the other around her bottom. They did not break as the un-thirsty monster flung them onto his bed. They landed on his back. Q-cake tried to smile, saying she liked the roughness though that did not last. Valentine sat up with Cupid still in his open lap. He kissed the top of her head and gently continued into Cupid. It was the slow and boring recipe Cupid believed would make the best sort of Love Sandwich. She could not believe Valentine was being kind with her, but the (not so smooth) archer did not complain with the delicious sensation flowing.

"That's a new side of you." Cupid said as she laid on top of her vampiric friend. He lacked a heartbeat and chest hair but the luke-warmth of his body felt cozy and pleasantly familiar.

"I've never seen it before either. It was icky. What is wrong with you, Chariclo? " Valentine demanded, testy, domineering and normal.

"I have a broken heart." She was unhurt and unsurprised to hear Valentine go into a fit of laughter.

The vampire wiped away a tear. "Oh what sweet irony. Please tell me more."

"I don't need this Val, we could've danced on the ceiling but you're giving me a headache."

She makes me feel young and desperate again, Valentine thought. "I give, darling. I'm certain I'm better than your little boyfriend ever did."

Cupid rolled her eyes, thinking she should've let him bite her so she'd be sleeping instead.

"Come now, darling, you know this is my listening face." He began to stroke her fair thigh. "Now let's hear about your woes and mistakes, my precious."

I told it to my ghoulfriends, they were a million times kinder than this. I don't need to tell him, he'll find this pain amusing and tell me 'I told you so', because he thinks he knows better. He doesn't but he would be the monster to put it in the perspective I want, Cupid thought and she chewed on her black fingers.

"It's the tale older than you; a nice ghoul meets a spellbinding boy. The boy falls for a darker, more enchanting ghoul, and the nice little ghoul goes home with her arrows dragging on the ground." Cupid felt quieter tears slide over her cheeks.

"Let me guess, you didn't use your arrows and the you let the little boy run away." Valentine knew of Cupid's ridiculous morals and ethics. Look where they got you, tootsie, he thought.

The sad ghoul hugged Valentine's waist. "He has real feelings for her, I could never touch the True Heart's Desire."

"I'm sure you tried to interfere anyway. But the problem with you is your softness. It's holding you back, darling. It's probably made you do something stupid like forgive the wench who stole your drippy boyfriend."

"She was my friend." And she deserves the Prince Charming we both love. If he were any other boy, this would be the greatest romance ever after, Cupid thought as her heart bleed.

"And there it is. Sweet B Positive, Chariclo, you are never going to get a man like this. I suppose this means I'll be taking you to bed for the rest of eternity."

The demi-god knew what words would penetrate his hammy attitude. "Don't make me call your mother, Val."

"And I'm dead for the rest of the night. Not undead, just dead to you and your ugly words." Valentine cringed and pushed Cupid off of him.

"Ohh!" Cupid giggled as she rolled to the side. "Why are you one of my favorite friends?"

Valentine felt the strange gnawing over his frozen lungs once more. "Because I've never lied to you. And I don't think I will."

But you lie to everyone else so maybe I just haven't caught it yet, Cupid thought. She knew it was crazy but she did trust Valentine with information on her life. She would never give away anyone else's to him, but she was strong enough to protect herself.

"I am a liar, it is a gold-plated fact you know better than your name. However I cannot lie to you, Chariclo. And why you wonder? Because you're the smartest ghoul I've ever met."

"You just hang around too many dumb ghouls." Cupid wouldn't take the bait but she liked hearing him speak.

She felt a blanket drop on top of her. Cupid had her head on a puffy pillow and from the corner of her eye, she saw the clouds dropped a red and pink quilt on top of her. The skeletal/demi-god ghoul then felt a hand on her shoulder and fangs against her ear.

"I will never be this nice again, so you might as well enjoy it."

Cupid wasn't afraid of the batty boy. "I am, you marshmallow."

"Being hung up on a loser boy is idiotic, Cupid. Give me an address and I'll avenge your heart. Then you'll be able to give it to me in full -wrapped in a pink bow and arrow." He heard her laugh then watched her fall asleep.

"Dream on, Val." Cupid yawned.

The lusty vamp knew it was a power nap at best and that he had a small window of time to act. There was her purse on the floor and he only knew a few of her passwords. He looked past his black hair to his clouds minions.

"What next, -Lub?"

"Going all sweet on a sky-hopping ghoulie."

"It's cool. Freaky but cool."

"Boys, we're postponing the Destruction of Monster High." Valentine didn't need to look at Cupid to find her limpest curl and twist it back to shape.