Hey, sorry for the silence. College is getting into mid-terms and I'm getting kicked to the ass in one of my classes. But enough about that. Here's a Sorting surprise!

I own nothing.

Harry and the rest of the new coming students walked down the halls toward a single destination that McGonagall had mentioned as the Great Hall. He was keeping his eyes forward when he heard some excited mutterings around him. The Boy who had turned looked around and saw two ghosts floating nearby.

"…is giving a bad name for us poltergeists, dear friar! We've given him enough chances as is!" One of the ghosts said waving his hands around.

"I daresay that you are correct sir Nick. Peeves has gone too far this time…hopefully the Bloody Baron will…" The fatter of the two was saying when he had spied the crowd of youngsters. "Ah ha! New students! About to be sorted! I'm the Fat Friar and this is Sir Nicholas or Sir Nick for short! Hope to see some of you in my old house, Hufflepuff!"

At that moment another ghost soared in laughing insanely making the two other ghosts become very transplant. Harry watched as the ghost dumped a whole bunch of…ink on many of the kids.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! WELCOME TO HOGWARTS!" The ghost cackled as he flew overheard, dumping ink balloons.

Harry was nearly hit by one of them and sent a glare at Peeves unconsciously drawing on his Dark Blood enhanced magical core creating a suppressing aura around the entire hall.

HPTFP

Peeves loved pranking the firsties that came every year and make them look their worst for the important occasion of being sorted. He laughed madly as he saw a balloon strike a red-headed boy and girl at the same time. His chuckles quickly became short breaths as he felt an immense pressure come into the air. He dropped the rest of the balloons, which splashed harmlessly on the floor, as he looked around fearfully for the source of the aura. His eyes landed on a boy that towered over the rest with emerald green…no…light purple eyes, ghost and poltergeists can see through magical objects even goblin made. The purple eyes were glowing ominously and Peeves knew…somehow knew that this boy was not to be trifled with.

"Watch where you aim next time." He said coldly as he turned away from the ghost taking the aura away with his turning.

Peeves nodded, his mouth glued shut. He looked at the other two ghosts and took off like a bat out of hell much to the shock and amazement of the other ghosts.

"I say, Friar…did you see that?" Sir Nicholas asked in a whisper.

"Indeed I did, Sir Nick…indeed I did…" The Friar said also in a whisper.

They watched as the students were led toward the great hall but their main focus was on the boy with the black hair and ponytail that nearly towered over the rest of the younger students. McGonagall cleaned up the ones that were hit as best she could as she shook her head. She caught sight of the two ghosts watching a single student and followed the gaze of the two.

She didn't know how to explain it, but Mister Potter was more then he appeared to be; stopping Peeves was nothing short of impossible but he had done it somehow and was a first year to boot…she would have to keep a close eye on him.

HPTFP

Harry watched as the large crowd stopped in front of the doors as McGonagall turned to the students and gave a speech about how the houses were their family and about something called the House cup before disappearing into the Great Hall. Harry ignored all of this; his focus was again on trying to find Hermione but he was rudely interrupted by the now cleaned Red head once more! Didn't this boy know not to cross him or was the lesson not learned back at the docks?!

"I heard from Fred and George that we have to wrestle a troll to get into the house we want." Ron said in a not so quiet stage whisper making all the students shudder.

"Maybe we're going to be given a test on what we know." Another student said nervously.

He heard some distant muttering and smiled; he knew that voice all too well. Harry turned to see Hermione muttering over any spells that she had read about and gave a small chuckle.

"Miss Granger, don't fret…you'll do fine." He said calmly making said girl jump a bit and made the Redhead's face turn scarlet red in anger.

"H-Harry…please don't scare me like that…" she huffed but he could see fear in her eyes.

"Hermione…it's okay…I know that you want to make a good impression…but don't try so hard. You and I are more alike then you realize." Harry said before he began to explain. "You and I are both tormented souls…me from my relatives…you from…from quite possibly your old school."

Hermione was shocked; Harry had managed to read her like a book and in only a few short hours! Who was he?

"Move over!" Ron said breaking her out from musings and waking her up to being shoved out of the way by the red head.

Harry scowled the aura returning but at a minimum level as the Weasely shoved Hermione out of the way.

"Excuse me, but I was having an intelligent conversation with someone." He sneered making the red head cringe.

Before Ron could comment, McGonagall returned and ordered the students to line up in a two man, or woman, Hermione mumbled, formation; two students side by side. They were led into the Great Hall where their destiny waited.

No one knew that a particular boy would shake things up the first moment the sorting was going to be.

HPTFP

The line of two walked down the center aisle between two tables with a massive gathering of older people. Harry was standing next to Hermione who was commenting on the ceiling being charmed to show the outside. This made Harry's mind wander to the battle capabilities of the charm; if used on the walls, no one would be able to sneak up on him unawares. The lines stopped and McGonagall set a stool out with a tattered and ratty looking old hat. Harry on the other hand, knew better; this hat was a charmed artifact from the time of the Founders themselves. It was to seek out the strongest qualities of a person and then put them into a house based on those qualities.

Harry began to mentally list off the qualities of every house, good and bad that he had discovered while reading about Hogwarts; Slytherin, cunning and ambitious…but in recent years it has become something of a dark house what with Voldermort's rise and all. Plus it had become a house for the Purebloods…odd that.

Harry paused at the thought and then shook his head. It wasn't odd at all now that the had met Slytherin hopefuls. Inbreeding tended to make people stupid.

Gryffindor, courageous and noble…but later on became the house of morons at least in Harry's opinion…honestly, charge headfirst into danger?! That was a one way ticket to death! Not to mention that Chivalry had been dead for a couple hundred years…not that the lions would even know what the word probably meant.

Hufflepuff, Loyal and Hardworking…but the problem Harry could see with this house was that no one would take them seriously, seeing as nothing but misfits and weaklings.

Ravenclaw, Intelligent and studious…once again, the problem Harry could see was that the Claws would only study spell theory and not use it…that would be a problem in a battle if there ever was one.

Needless to say, he had none of the qualities of the four houses; he was a blend of all of them! He had the cunning and ambition of Slytherin, The nobility and Courage of Gryffindor, the hard working power of Hufflepuff and the Intelligence of Ravenclaw!

He was jolted out of his musings by the booming voice of McGonagall.

"ABBOT, HANNA!"

A young girl with strawberry blonde hair ran up to the stool and let the Professor place the hat over her head. The hat, now sporting a mouth and what looked to be eyes seemed to ponder for a second before yelling.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

The girl's robes changed the black and yellow of the dorm as the girl waited for the hat to be taken off and she ran over to the clapping students. Harry, seeing that it would be some time before it got to him, ignored what was going on around him and focused once more. It was a good thing he did too…a pulse of magic came his way and Harry sensed it. He easily brought up a shield and deflected it not knowing what it was. The spell hit the red git and he seemed to have gained a more confident stance. Harry merely scowled; no doubt that was some sort of charm to convince him to go to some predetermined house. Fat chance!

"GRANGER, HERMIONE!" McGonagall roared out making the young girl squeak out and race up to the stool and waiting hat.

The hat took a few moments before gaining a grin and bellowed out.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Hermione let the hat be taken off and her robes gaining the red and gold trim before she went over to the wildly clapping lions. Harry's eyes narrowed in suspicion; Hermione had the IQ to be in Ravenclaw…so why in the Lion's den? Something was up.

He felt another spell come toward him and he raised a shield once more bouncing it off onto a boy with black hair and a pudgy face. Once again, the spell made the affected boy stand up straighter. Harry was getting seriously annoyed now; whoever was sending those spells at him was trying for something and he didn't like being told what and what not to do. The boy the spell had hit had been called up and he was placed into Gryffindor.

So excited was the boy that he ran to the table with the hat still on much to the amusement of everyone and annoyance of the hat. After order was restored, McGonagall called another name out.

"MALFOY, DRACO!"

The blonde ponce went strutting up to the stool and sat down. The hat was barely over his head when it called out.

"SLYTHERIN!"

Draco gave a smug grin and strolled over to the House of Snakes. Harry just scoffed and went back to his mulling, thought it was short by another shout.

"PATIL, PADAMA!"

An India looking girl walked up to the stool and the hat slid on. It seemed to think for a few seconds before it bellowed.

"RAVENCLAW!"

The girl left the stool as the hat was taken off and went over to the politely clapping Ravens. McGonagall read another name off.

"PATIL, PARVATI!"

An identical girl of the one before her went up and had the hat placed on. It instantly roared out.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The girl looked slightly upset but she left the stool and hat toward the cat-calling table of Lions. Harry shook his head disgusted; why Hermione was placed there he had no clue. But he would get her out of there…that was a promise.

"PERKS, SALLY-ANNE!"

A pale girl with blonde hair walked up to the stool nervous and placed the hat on. It seemed to take a few seconds but the Hat called out.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

The girl sighed in relief before letting the professor take the hat off and she joined the clapping Badgers. Harry gave a small smirk; his turn.

"POTTER, HARRY!"

The whole hall became silent as the grave before the whispers began.

"Harry Potter…"

"The boy who lived…"

"I can't believe it…"

"Hear that he's going to be in the Lion's club."

That last statement made Harry furious; how dare they assume that he would follow in his mother and father's steps! He was going to burn his own path and not one of these people would stop him!

He walked up to the stool, shoulders square and his face determined. Many were shocked at this towering boy as he walked up carrying a detached but calm aura.

He sat down on the stool, his eyes hard as jade as he stared out at the crowd of students until the brim of the hat covered his eyes.

'Well, what do we have here?' Harry heard. 'Let's see…'

Harry felt a small pressure on his head before the pressure retreated and the voice returned.

'Well, that's new! I've never met a student with such powerful Occlumency shields!' Harry heard before he put a stop to the voice.

'Well, excuse me, but I don't take too kindly to people trying to read my mind…for all I know, you could be working of old Dumb as a Door.'

Harry heard quiet laughter coming and the voice returned.

'That is a definite Slytherin Trait, Mister Potter, but that alone will not get you into the house of cunning. I need to be able to see your entire mind. And I assure you that I'm not working for the headmaster. To prove it to you, I shall tell you my name Young Mister Potter. My name is…Lucifer, the sorting hat. Plus anything that is said between you and I is strictly secret…sort of like that Muggle patient doctor confidentially deal.'

Harry was stunned but it quickly gave way to mental laughter.

'An artifact…named after the Fallen Angel of Light in a castle hailed as Light…oh ho! This is too rich! You have amused me, Lucifer. I will lower my shield.'

Harry heard laughter coming from the hat and felt the small pressure on his mind return as the hat peered in.

'Oh my…oh my my. Ohhhhhh my. Mister Potter, you are extremely difficult, extremely difficult indeed! The cunning of Slytherin when you dealt with your abusive uncle, the courage of Gryffindor you had when you stood up to your cousin near your time of rebirth, the hard working power of Hufflepuff on your class projects and the intelligence of Ravenclaw mixed in with them! You are by far the most perfect blend of all four houses!' The hat said as it looked at everything in Harry's short life.

HPTFP

Everyone sat on the edges of their seats; the sorting of the other students usually only took a minute, two tops. But Harry's was nearing the twenty minute mark! Everyone was nervous and edgy; what was taking the boy who lived so long!

A man with a full beard, twinkling eyes and periwinkle robes sat perturbed; his compulsion spells to make Harry go to Gryffindor hadn't work. In fact, it had made the near squib Neville Longbottom go to Gryffindor instead of Hufflepuff…odd that. He saw that it was taking too long and decided to speed things up a bit.

He cast another wandless and silent compulsion charm, not to Harry, but rather to Alistair, the hat to put Harry in Gryffindor and make him the golden boy of Hogwarts.

HPTFP

Harry didn't answer a question that Lucifer had posed as he had felt a spell being cast, directed to the hat and quickly cast a silent shield spell with his machine wand still hidden in the folds of his duster. The spell bounced off and went up into the ceiling splashing harmlessly against the stone. He spun around much to the shock of Lucifer and the rest of the staff and students.

"If one more spell is thrown at me, intentionally or unintentionally, I will snap my wand and leave not only Hogwarts, but Britain's shores forever!" He snarled out, his voice biting cold.

This made everyone stiffen; Harry Potter? Leave!? Forever!? It was…it was inconceivable even to them! They were all about to protest when Lucifer spoke.

"Very good shield there, Mister Potter. Thank you for protecting me." Lucifer said as he looked at the staff. "I do not like being rushed in this crucial moment, everyone. Mister Potter is a very…unique case I will say and leave it at that. Now where was I? Ah! Here we go."

Lucifer returned to looking through Harry's mind as Harry turned back away from the staff.

The man was shocked; the boy could make a shield? That would explain things with his two failed spells! This was not going to plan…Harry was suppose to not know of magic, be weak, moldable! Did something happen at his relative's house? If only the old man knew.

HPTFP

'Now…it seems to me that you are perfect for either house…but I believe that you have the choice Mister Potter; Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Hufflepuff or Dragon?'

'Dragon? There's no mention of a Dragon house in Hogwarts; A History.'

'Ah ha ha! I forget that book has been done a thousand times over to downgrade the shite that the Purebloods don't want those 'inferior' to hear. The Dragon house was named after Pendragon the first ever warlock from a non-magical family.'

'Pendragon…as in Arthur Pendragon as in the King of Camelot and the Knights of the round table? That Arthur Pendragon?'

'That's right, he can be taught!' Lucifer said with glee before he shook his head. 'Amazing. I just had an out of story experience…but yes, that is correct. Now…'

'Dragon. Let's shake things up though.' Harry said before he explained his plan.

Lucifer Chuckled at Harry's plan; this was a prank worthy of the Marauders!

HPTFP

Everyone was bored, tired and hungry; Harry's sorting was nearing the hour mark and the hat hadn't spoken at all except when Harry threatened to leave. The students of the four houses were about to fall asleep when the hat bellowed out jolting them awake.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

This made every one of the staff shocked and the Gryffindors near tears; the boy who lived in a house of misfits?! It was like their world had had shattered. The Slytherins were all snickering now seeing that the boy was nothing but a fraud. But Lucifer's booming voice made everyone stop snickering.

"RAVENCLAW!"

The whispers that had been running around had started again; another house? What the heck was going on?! Even the Ravens brightest of the bright were stumped as to what was going on. The whispers stopped again when the hat bellowed again.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Now things got heated; the Gryffindors cheered loudly while the two twins began to dance around chanting 'We got Potter! We got Potter!' as the old man gave a huge sigh of relief and McGonagall smiled. But when they saw that Harry wasn't joining them, they became a little nervous and calmed down some. The hat gave a truly evil grin as it bellowed once more.

"SLYTHERIN!"

Silence. Total and Absolute silence greeted the proclamation. The Lions glared at the Snakes while the snakes glared at the Lions. What was Potter trying to pull? He couldn't belong to all four houses…could he? Their musings were interrupted by hat speaking once more.

"The four names I have listed are the four houses that exist to this day. But what many do not know is that a fifth house has existed…" Lucifer began when he was interrupted by the old man.

"This is all well and good, Alistair but please, tell Mister Potter to join the Gryffindor table. We have others to sort you know." He said in a grandfatherly tone.

It was not Lucifer that answered but Harry.

"Look, Old timer, His name is Lucifer, not Alistair and he was getting to the reasons so do us all a favor and sit your wrinkly old arse back down on that golden stool pot you call a throne before you have a heart attack from spewing nothing but hot air!" Harry snarled making the hall dumbstruck.

Harry Potter…HARRY BLOODY POTTER!...Had just given a tongue lashing to Albus Dumbledore, the leader of the light, Supreme Mugwump, Chief of the ICW and Headmaster of Hogwarts!

"Mister Potter! You will respect Headmaster Dumbledore!" McGonagall said in a mix of anger and shock.

Harry gave out a biting cold laugh and looked in the direction of McGonagall.

"Oh yes of course Professor! I shall give my respect to a man who leaves a baby on a doorstep unattended on a night that is bitterly cold with some people that have no say in the matter of taking said baby in!" Harry snapped with biting sarcasm.

He paused as if to think over his words before speaking again.

"Oh wait…that doesn't warrant any respect at all, just contempt!"

At hearing the proclamation, the Professor and Headmaster turned pale white as many people gasped and began to chatter amongst themselves. Seeing that he had rendered the two speechless, he mentally looked to Lucifer and spoke something to him.

Lucifer cleared his throat and began his tale again.

"There was a fifth house made for a man who was the first wizard among non-magical parents and the future king of ancient Britain. He led the way for Hogwarts to be built and made with the four founders and in return, the founders made a house named after his surname. So it pleases me to announce a return of that same house…please welcome Harry Potter, the first ever…"

"DRAGON!"

The fires of the floating candles exploded outward before sweeping down toward Harry making everyone duck as the Lucifer was hastily lifted off of Harry's head by Professor McGonagall, who had recovered just enough to realize what was about to happen. The fires consumed Harry from head to toe making everyone scared and shocked. The Boy who lived would turn into the boy who burned!

Their fears were unheeded as the fire retracted as Banners of both Gold and Silver rolled down and showed an emerald dragon looking like it was crouched on the side of a cliff. Everyone stared in shock at Harry Potter whose robes now sported a badge of the banner and another badge with a Large 'P' on it making many confused.

Lucifer, seeing the confusion, chuckled.

"Hogwarts has a prefect for each house…Mister Potter, being the only Dragon right at the moment, is a Prefect for that house. Someone will have to explain to him what Prefects do. As for the head of house…"

"I nominate myself to be Harry's head of house." Albus Dumbledore said hurriedly making both Lucifer and Harry scowl.

"Uh, no. your track record isn't really the best, headmaster." Harry explained putting a drawl on the final word before he ticked off on his fingers. "Leaving a baby on the doorstep of a home in the biting cold on the 1st of November, never once checking up on said baby as it grew, and then the letter…addressed as the cupboard under the stairs! Good lord man! I will not and shall not have you as my head of house!"

Albus paled even further then as people quickly gasped again and looked at him in shock, even McGonagall look sickened. He wisely backed down and Lucifer chuckled.

"Well done, Harry. Besides, the headmaster is too busy to be your head of house anyways. No, I shall be his head of house as there are not enough teachers to take on the responsibility but after the sorting. Perhaps next year."Lucifer said.

Harry went to join the fifth table alone while everyone stared gobsmacked at what had transpired. Harry recalled his last question to Lucifer before he was sorted.

HPTFP

'Lucifer, is it possible to resort someone?'

'Depends. The issue would have to be that the person wouldn't feel safe exactly in their house. Why do you ask?'

'Hermione Granger…something doesn't smell right when she was sorted. I fear Dumbledore is up to something. If something happens to her, be intentional or unintentional, I want her sorted again.'

'You got it…Lord Nebula Prime.'

HPTFP

Harry could only chuckle at that name…the name that would strike terror into everyone. Harry watched as Headmaster finally got his wits together and called for the sorting to be completed. After a boy by the name of Blasie Zabini went to Slytherin, the Headmaster gave a speech with some words at the end making Harry scowl.

The words were meaningless, but had caused several reactions; the Gryffindors cheered wildly while the Hufflepuffs clapped. Ravens and Snakes were similar but completely different; the Ravens were trying to figure out what the words meant while the Slytherins just looked at the man like he was nuts…and perhaps he was.

But Harry saw differently; the headmaster had said those words to gain the loyalty of both Gryffindor and Hufflepuff though it was a little shaken with the first years and seventh years, the Ravenclaws thinking of him as the greatest mind to ever live by giving them false clues to track down and the Slytherins just thought he was a loony old man which meant that they had underestimated him.

He saw the man for what he truly was; a chess master who used everyone as his pawns. Harry saw that the food had arrived and helped himself to some of the more tasty looking food.

HPTFP

Albus Dumbledore was confused, weary and above all, angry. Harry Potter hadn't gone to Gryffindor or made friends with Ron Weasely on the Hogwarts express. Personality wise, Dumbledore expected Harry to be meek, humble and above all retarded with their world.

But no! No, Harry hadn't had the personality Dumbledore wanted! He was defiant, brash and sneaky too. He had for once been dressed down by a child and was given no respect at all. What made it worse? The first years, impressionable minds had discovered a secret he didn't want the Wizarding world to know about and the problem was he couldn't oblivate anyone of them…for if he did, Alis…Lucifer would know something was up and call on Hogwarts to investigate. He knew that the Castle was in fact alive and he had to tread carefully.

He could only watch helpless as Harry ate alone, with nary a care in the world. Albus heard some slight sniffing and knew that it was Minerva crying, not because Harry wasn't in Gryffindor, but because she had played a minor part in his up keeping. He could only watch as Harry continued to eat not noticing the glares he was receiving from McGonagall and surprisingly Severus.

HPTFP

Harry sat on his new bed in the Dragon Dorm House thinking; the feast had ended, the headmaster had given them all a warning about the third floor corridor and he scowled. That old geezer was off his rocker! The older students would adhere to the rules but not the younger ones! Telling them that they would die a horrible death would MAKE the younger students want to see what was so important.

He was interrupted by the flapping of servos as Razorbeak landed on the arm of the Bed.

"Lord Nebula, I bring you my first report." The metal bird said.

Harry sat up and looked at his ally.

"Silence Razor!" He hissed out. "The walls have both eyes and Ears…"

Razor looked around and noticed a single painting with a figure sleeping in the frame. The bird opened up its beak and let out an ear piercing scream that made the figure cry out as it was jolted awake and leave the portrait post haste. Razor was real lucky that the portriat was asleep otherwise the Headmaster would know of his master's...army.

Harry just shook his head as he unplugged his ears; now that the annoyance was gone, he turned back to Razor.

"Right…begin your report."

The metal bird bowed and stood up straight.

"The headmaster held a meeting right after the feast regarding you my lord. He was most distress that you did not fit the bill of his 'grand plan'. Both of his trustees, the woman who sorted you and a man with black hair slicked back by a bad potion gone wrong were chewing him out for leaving you on the doorsteps of your Relatives." Razor said before chuckling. "The foolish headmaster said that it was for the greater good that you be humble and meek…Bah! He sees you as nothing more than a weapon but for what reason I have not a clue."

Harry nodded and then asked a question bugging him.

"Razor, did you find out about the third floor corridor?"

The giant bird blinked its optics before nodding.

"I did…the headmaster said that it was something called the Sorcerer's Stone."

"That's a stone that can grant immortality to anyone by drinking it's Elixir of Life and can make any metal pure solid gold." Harry gasped out. "But why is it here and not…at…Gringotts…damn it all!"

"My lord?"

"The little grubby package Hagrid grabbed! It was the stone!" Harry ranted. "I have no idea as to what Dumbledore is playing at, but I can sure as hell be correct that this is a test for Harry Potter! Razor, you have done well…return to the Headmaster's office and continue you're recon…I need to devise a way to contact the other Terrorcons."

Razor nodded and took off for the headmaster's office as Harry lay back on his bed, his mind whirling with questions, thoughts and plans.

Well, there we go and already Harry has figured out what is being hidden. A little into the student life next chapter and how Harry deals with idiots.