"I have a very special announcement."

Tony seemed excited, even barely able to contain it as he called for everyone's attention. Steve looked to his left, meeting Natasha's gaze and sharing a look. One they quickly hid as Tony took in the room, trying to see if they were just as interested as he was. A quick scan of the room proved that it was barely so, as Clint was more interested in showing Bruce something on his phone. Though after Tony cleared his throat they both put it down, guilty like a student would be after being caught by a teacher.

"Someone else better not be pregnant," Natasha said in response to the surprise, looking around the room as if to challenge her teammates. None of them came forward though. Satisfied, she reclined back in her seat.

"Not unless Steve couldn't keep it in his pants since Natasha," Tony said, giving Steve a pointed look. One that had him sinking into the cushions of the couch as they laughed at him. Even Natasha, who squeezed his leg but still laughed at his expense.

"Don't be rude to Steve," Bruce chimed in, "Its not his fault he can't get laid." Making everyone in the room turn to him in surprise, even if they were all still amused. Sheepishly, and as if he realized what he just said aloud, Bruce said a quick, "Sorry."

"You too, Bruce?" Steve asked, looking exhausted as he rose a brow in the man in question.

"Does he cry during sex, Natasha?" Tony piped in.

Natasha opened her mouth, ready to answer. Until Steve was giving her a stern look, one that had her promptly closing her mouth and keeping it to herself. Besides, he doesn't remember her having any complaints.

Or at least he hoped she didn't.

"All I have to say is God bless America, gentlemen," Natasha said instead of whatever quip she would have sent his way. He wasn't sure which would have been better, as either way he was still being laughed at. Though Clint didn't seem amused in the slightest as he took a long pull of his beer.

"Alright, alright, Steve is both simultaneously a slut and a prude, now back to me," Tony insisted. "As you all know, I've been mentoring a kid for a few months now."

"I didn't know that," Clint interrupted. He sat up, turning to Natasha and speaking to her from across the room. "Did you know that?"

"Nope," she replied. "Steve?"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"Okay. Tony is speaking," Tony said, enunciating each syllable, his voice firm in a way Steve thought was a little dramatic. "I think we should add a new addition to our team, and I brought him here so we can get a fair opinion."

"Thor isn't here. It wouldn't be a fair vote," Steve was quick to mention.

"Thor likes everyone," Tony dismissed. He pulled out his phone, scrolling through the screen for a few seconds before placing it to his ear. "Yeah, Kid, we're ready for you." It wasn't long before the elevator doors were opening, and pretty soon after that Tony was making his way to them.

"Should we be scared?" Steve whispered.

Natasha shrugged. "I kinda want to see where he's going with this."

That was fair. They both turned, trying to catch a glimpse of the elevator but remaining unsuccessful. Steve relented before Natasha, taking the opportunity to wrap his arm around her as he turned back around. Which would have been a good move, except for the snort of laughter she let out as she settled back into her seat. "What?" He questioned.

She shook her head, a smile on her face. "Smooth."

Tony was coming back before he could say anything else, but he didn't miss the way she shifted closer to him. He had someone with him, a boy from the looks of it. Lanky in the way only a teenaged boy could be and it was enough to capture Steve's attention. And his concern. He was wearing a mask, a familiar one too, as Steve had seen a fair share of Spider-Man on just about every media outlet as of late.

"Mister Stark, can I take the mask off now?"

Even his voice sounded young, and he shared a look with Natasha, about ready to question Tony's sanity. But then Tony was putting a hand on his shoulder. "Go ahead."

He looked even younger than Steve was expecting. His cheeks round and his eyes bright as he looked around at everyone. His hair was mussed too, the strands wild in a way that was not too different from a toddler. "I'm Peter," he said, voice excited.

"Stark, what the hell?"

"Language, Cap."

"The only reason I should be watching my damn language is because you brought a kid here," Steve said. Natasha was squeezing his leg, trying to calm him down. But her efforts fell flat as he was too worked up to even enjoy it.

"This kid is Spider-Man, the one we've all seen on the news," Tony revealed, "And the one only I bothered to look into."

"I'm actually sixteen," Peter piped in.

"Sixteen?"

"And a half," he clarified. As if it made a difference.

There were a few things Steve wanted to say, fuck's sake, Tony was pretty high on the list but he was taught better than using that language in front of a kid, so he settled for asking Tony what he was thinking. But the words never got out. Instead Natasha was pulling him up, insistent in the way she was pulling him from the room. Tony seemed amused as they passed him, trying to hide his laughter as Steve tried to communicate to someone in the room to help him. As he was assuming that Natasha's firm grip on his arm did not mean that she was necessarily happy with him. He was always open to time alone with her, but he couldn't deny the pure, unfiltered terror he was feeling as she turned to him once they had privacy.

"What was that?" She demanded. Suddenly seeming more intimidating than someone almost a foot shorter than him should have been, and he was starting to see how someone could maybe think she was a bit scary. Or terrifying.

"He's just a kid, Natasha-"

"You've seen what he can do," she interrupted, "He's not a normal kid."

"So you agree with Tony?"

She took a deep breath, centering herself before replying. It calmed him down too, taking himself out of the moment and letting the intensity of it fade. "I didn't say that."

"You're not exactly disagreeing with him," he argued. He probably should stop. Should drop it with a kiss on her cheek and a docile yes, Dear, but that wasn't him. He wanted to be with her, and if his instincts were right then she might be warming up to the idea too. Fighting would set them back, and if Steve was at his breaking point then he was sure that figurative door between them closing again would be the end of it. But he didn't want her like this. And whose to say it wouldn't be the same for their kid? They wouldn't be normal. Their life wouldn't be the easiest even if Steve was damn sure nothing would ever happen to them while he was alive, but they would still be in this life. The missions and the threats, the danger and uncertainty. There was no escaping it. Just like there was no escaping this very conversation when their kid was Peter's age, maybe even younger, trying to discuss letting them into this life like it should even be an option. So he looked at her, ready for some sort of explanation.

"Things aren't always simple like that," she insisted. She looked ready to leave it at that, but after a moments hesitation she clarified. "He is young, but if it's his choice to get into this then we can't stop him. You of all people should know that, Steve."

He was stubborn. He didn't have to admit it out loud but he wasn't naive to the fact. He was older than Peter when he had tried to enlist in the army, as he was already in his twenties by then. An adult with at least a fair share of life experience. It was different. "Is he even old enough to be making this choice?"

Her arms crossed over her chest and he was sure he wasn't imagining the way her grip tightened around her arms. "He might not be. But it's better that we're the ones watching over him. A lot of things could go south if the wrong people got a hold of him."

That made him stop short. He had a very limited knowledge of Natasha's past, but he knew enough to know the reasoning behind her stance on this. He sighed, knowing she was right, but not exactly ready to agree quite yet.

"I don't like his age either," she admitted.

"It's a school night, Nat."

She cracked a smile at that. But she turned serious as she placed a hand on either side of his face, firm in the way she turned him towards her. "I don't want him to feel unwelcome."

She would never say it but he didn't need to hear it. The silent plead for him to do this for her. After all the things she won't tell him of, of all things that remained unspoken for a reason, she had to see a little bit of herself in Peter. So he relented. Something he didn't do easily. Actually, something he can't ever remember doing in his life. He placed a hand over her's, smiling at her in hopes to calm her nerves. "I don't either," he promised. It was Tony who Steve wasn't happy with, and the kid didn't seem half bad.

"So that means you're ready to play nice?" She asked.

"Yeah," he sighed. "But I'm not happy about it."

"That's all I ask." She looped her arm around his, keeping him close as they rejoined everyone else. It could've gone worse, he guessed. As the argument was over but she was still there. Keeping a reassuring hand on his arm as he did the thing he hated most.

"The missus set you straight?" Tony asked, looking a little too smug for Steve's liking. For all of two seconds before Natasha turned to him, that same look on her face that had the smirk promptly disappearing from Tony's face. Which had Steve stifling a laugh at the sight.

"Sorry about that, Peter," Steve said, careful to keep his voice as genuine as he could. Natasha rewarded him with a smile as he put a hand out. "Steve Rogers."

"I failed a test about you once," Peter revealed. Which Steve didn't exactly have an answer for as Peter shook his hand. The poor kid was nervous, his tight grip was uncomfortably warm and Steve was appreciating the moment the handshake was over. He almost had half the mind to spare Natasha from it as she offered her own introduction.

"I'm-"

"Pregnant."

As if noticing for the first time, Peter's attention went to the obvious swell of her stomach. It was rare that the media ever showed interest in their personal lives, as the Press team Tony had set them up with ensured they would be granted their privacy. Tony knew how to hire the right people, since the rumors Steve had heard were few and far between, though he could credit that to the efforts he put in to avoid them. He should be thankful that Natasha's pregnancy was not public knowledge, though as he caught sight of Peter gaining the news for the first time a thought occurred to him. No one would know that he was the father either. He didn't care what anyone had to say about it, good or bad, it wasn't exactly anyone's business but their own. And he knew that. But if nothing was stopping others from getting a glimpse into their lives then they needed to know that he was involved in this. That Natasha was his family and so was whoever it was they would be meeting in only a few short months.

His hand found her waist, deciding it was more intimate than her hand on his arm. She didn't acknowledge it though, even as he pulled her a bit closer to him, her focus on Peter instead.

"Yes, but I'm also-"

"Black Widow."

"You can call me Natasha," she corrected gently. Steve was sure she noticed the unfortunate state of Peter's handshake. Still, she smiled through it, not pointing out how nervous he was even though he was positive that she caught on to it the second Peter stepped into the room.

"Okay, Miss Romanoff," Peter said, still not releasing her hand. She gave up, shooting Steve a quick look before Peter dropped her hand.

"Where's Thor?" He asked, looking around the room as if they could have actually hid someone of his size.

"Home," Tony explained, "Being a God and a part time shampoo commercial model, or getting stabbed by his brother. Who knows."

Peter nodded, actually accepting the answer. But then he was meeting Bruce, an untamed excitement crossing his features as he began to tell Bruce of how much he admired him. Bruce looked taken aback, his eyebrows raising as there was recognition for him instead of the other guy. He smiled though, asking Peter if he liked science and sparking a conversation that Steve truthfully didn't understand that well.

"Is there a reason that you're squeezing my hip so tightly?" Natasha asked, keeping her voice to a whisper. Not that it mattered, Tony had joined the conversation with a hand on Peter's shoulder. Telling Clint and Bruce of how smart he actually was while the boy in question seemed a bit embarrassed under the attention.

"Sorry," he said quickly, already releasing his grip.

"Is this really bothering you that much?" She questioned, already guiding him a few steps away from the group.

"No. Well, yes, but…" he trailed off, not really sure how to put it in words.

"But?" She pressed.

"It just made me think about how this isn't really something we can hide anymore," he said, placing a hand on the curve of her waist. "I don't like the thought of people not knowing this kid is mine too."

"Since when do you care what other people think, Steve?" She asked. He didn't, though it would be nice to have some sort of title in her life. They weren't together, or even dating, fine. But he would like to think that he was more than a friend to her even if he never quite made it to the relationship category.

Someone's phone was ringing. A grating noise that he tried to ignore as he thought of how to explain it to her. It was different after he had come home from London, better but different. This conversation would have gone a very different way if it had only been a few weeks before. It might have been more private and louder, and he could bet that it wouldn't have ended well. He was thankful to avoid the argument even if it left him unsure of what to say.

"I meant it when I said you were my family," he decided on. "I don't want to hide that."

"I know you did, and so did I," she promised. Her hand slipped into his, reassuring in the way their fingers intertwined. She looked like she wanted to say more, but she refrained. Holding back whatever it was as her eyes went to the floor. She wasn't big on affection. It should bother him or hurt him, but he understood, and was even touched that he was the exception as he noticed her efforts on it. So he stroked her hand with his thumb, trying to show her that he was there while she allowed it.

"Emergency. Gotta go, Cap."

They both turned, greeted by Tony suddenly having his attention on them. His phone tilted away from his ear as he held a hand over the microphone. "Fury said he couldn't reach you and he's not happy about it."

Steve placed a hand over his pocket, coming up blank as he was met with smooth fabric instead of the indent on his phone. He was barely used to toting the thing around and it was most likely still on his nightstand back home. He turned back to Natasha, an apologetic look on his face that they had to leave her behind. He kissed her cheek too, just because he could, the gesture chaste and not nearly enough. Especially as he noticed how soft her skin was and how she was wearing the perfume that he liked. And more than anything he wanted to stay. To let the others handle it and keep her company for the night. Instead he dropped her hand, that nagging feeling that his time with her was never enough stronger than ever as he followed the others.

"Where are we going?" Peter asked, already trailing behind them as they walked to the elevator.

"You're staying here!" Both Tony and Steve said, their voices blending together. They looked at each other, as if to challenge the other on having the authority to tell Peter no, but there were more pressing matters at hand as they both chose to drop it. Natasha followed too, but only to catch a glimpse of Steve before he left. A hand on her baby bump as she used the other to give him a small wave goodbye. One he returned with a hint of a smile on his face, but the elevator doors were hiding it too quickly as they closed and took him away from her.

She turned to Peter, putting on a smile even as the kid looked dejected. A few months before and she would have been a little nervous at playing babysitter, but now she appreciated the practice. Besides, she couldn't imagine he would be feeling much better than he was now if she was able to answer to call too. "It's not too bad being here," she assured him, "He's got about every streaming site known to man, I'm sure we can kill some time until they're back."

"Actually, Miss Romanoff-"

"Natasha."

"Miss Natasha, I actually have homework," he said, retrieving a backpack from besides the elevator. Somehow looking younger than before as he held the item, and making her question how much work the school was giving these poor kids at the size of the bag.

"Need some help?" She found herself asking, surprising even herself. He probably wouldn't. He was a smart kid and could most likely get through the work in about an hour or so. Depending on the mission the boys could be back soon after that. Hopefully.

"Depends if you speak Spanish," Peter said. She did, was actually fluent in it among other things. She nodded, already walking to the common room and hoping that he was following. He was pretty quiet, would most likely be hard to catch in a fight. Would probably be able to escape easily too. Good. Now that she's seen the face behind the mask she couldn't help but feel a sense of determination that nothing bad would ever happen to this kid. The determination getting stronger as she watched him open his backpack, pulling out a binder covered in stickers and pictures. She caught a glimpse of a few, next to a sticker of what she was guessing was a band, was a glossy image tucked under the protective plastic outside.

"Is that your girlfriend?" She asked, pointing to the slender girl he had an arm around. It was innocent, his hand was resting over her arm in a way that was leaning more towards platonic than romantic. But his face told a different story as his cheeks heated up.

"No! She's a friend," he choked out, already pulling his binder closer to him.

Sure. Just like Steve was her friend. She was pretty. Even in the jacket she was basically swimming in and with her hair covering a good portion of her face, her smile really did light up her face. So much so that she captured anyone's attention who looked at the photo even if Peter was right there besides her. She could tease him more about it, but the poor kid had probably had enough for one night. So she smiled, her eyes glossing over the rest of the cover. There was another boy in all the pictures of him, undoubtedly a close friend as there was a strong familiarity between them through the moments captured. All evident in the way they smiled and held on to each other for each frame. "Whose this?" She asked, suddenly curious about his life.

"Ned, he's my best friend," Peter explained. Already he was opening the binder, making her feel oddly sad that she couldn't see more of it. To take the chance and ask him about the bands he liked enough to display the logo, or to ask more about his friends. He was pulling out a sheet of paper, the front and back displaying a fair share of multiple choice questions. It was easy enough. The sentences her eyes glanced over at an easy level and she was sure they could both get through the page in no time at all.

"Pete, I think this might be the first time I'm feeling a maternal instinct," she said, accepting the pencil he handed to her. Already scanning the page to come up with the best way to help him.

"Thank… thank you?"

Peter Parker liked Star Wars but didn't seem too big on Star Trek. He loved music, live if it was an option, especially when it came from a recommendation from the girl on his binder. MJ, a nickname for Michelle, Natasha would soon find out as Peter never stopped talking about her. She liked to draw and was the owner of too many over sized clothes, a few Russian novels, and Peter's heart. As his eyes were shining in a way only love at that age could be responsible for when he spoke of her. He lived with his Aunt, she assumed, as there were no mention of parents from him but plenty of her. He didn't have the best hand dealt to him in life but he was sweet, optimistic in a way that couldn't be taken from him. Incredibly smart and pretty funny once he warmed up to her. And he was just about the only person to gain her trust as quickly as he did. Is all the things Natasha found out about him in their time together. About two hours and forty minutes if she was going to be exact, as the time mark had been when Steve rejoined them along with the rest of the team. Looking significantly more dirty and worn than when they first left them, but still in high spirits as he hurried back to her. But she did not even notice, because Peter was telling her about his upcoming Academic Decathlon competition at school and was so invested and excited that she couldn't help but listen to his every word, to offer her support just for his happiness. And it wasn't until she looked up, eyes catching Steve watching her did she even realize he was back.

He joined them. Smiling at her in a way he never did for anyone else, kissing her cheek like it was their normal, and sitting besides her like it was where he belonged. "Find a way to pass the time?" He asked, slinging an arm around her, a gesture she leaned into as a wave of relief went through her. That he was here, that he was home.

She nodded, the thought of time never being fast when she was away from him not too far from her mind, but she kept it to herself. Too occupied with the way he felt as she rested her head against his shoulder, intoxicating in a way she never felt as her eyes shut on their own accord. He smelled like smoke, the smell clinging to the fabric of his suit, weaved through every strand and masking his usual smell of musk and mint. There was dirt on him too, smeared across his face and on his clothes, and the usual post mission sweat had made an appearance. Still, she kept him close, strangely enough she didn't mind. Even stranger than that, she didn't mind as everyone else gathered around them, taking their spots on the couch after the slight detour of the night.

Someone else wanted her attention though. She won't ever get used to it, she thinks, the way her baby stretches and kicks. Already so active and real, and a constant reminder of Steve, and she almost shared this with him. Almost picked up his hand and moved it a few inches to her stomach, to see the way his face always lit up when it came to their baby.

But she didn't.

Instead she looked around, seeing the people she would consider her family, yet still not wanting them to be a part of it. Not yet, anyways. Because when she looked at Steve all she could think of was what they shared, this life that would only belong to them and no one else. That even when the time came, when Steve finally found someone capable of everything she wasn't, they would always have this. And more than anything she wanted as many moments like that as she could, moments where she could pretend to have him all to herself. So she pulled her cardigan closer to her, brushing against the swell briefly in a quick acknowledgement of her baby before wrapping the hand around Steve. Wanting to save a moment she knows is limited for when they were alone. When she didn't have to share him with anyone.

Steve was excited. His bright smile didn't do much to hide it as he came into her office, not even bothering to fully knock like he usually did. He looked handsome like that, happy. And the tight fitting shirt he was wearing wasn't bad either, paired with his freshly shaved face and his tousled hair, it took a considerable amount of effort on her end to only give him a quick glance and a smile before her eyes went back to her computer. Her fingers worked quickly to finish typing out the report, her attention already trying to go elsewhere as Steve came to lean against her desk. "Big day," he said, his smile more than showing his opinion of it.

"Very," she hummed in agreement. She can't remember the last time she felt like this, or if she has even ever before, excited in a way that wasn't like her, and putting her in a good mood that really was not like her. The work had been slow that day. Dragging on and never seeming to end as she worked through it, her mind somewhere else. On someone else. Things would be different after today. She would know who her baby was, would finally feel like all of this was real and happening now after knowing the gender. Being able to pick out a name and getting some sort of grasp of who this person was going to be. The report hardly compared to something like this, yet it demanded her attention like it was something of interest. She managed to finish it, even managed to read through it before sending it off to the appropriate department, all the while Steve glanced over her desk, looking interested in the few things she kept there. Distracting in his own way as his eyes kept finding their way to her, making him smile before he returned them to the contents of her desk.

"These flowers might be getting a little old," he pointed out, a hand reaching towards them. As if to prove his theory, a few brown edged petals fell to her desk at the contact, revealing the original deep red they possessed in their prime as they fell from the stem. She had tried to throw them out a few times, though her heart couldn't stand it and she never actually was able to. Every time she glanced at them she remembered the gesture and Steve's shy smile as he gave them to her, and she set them right back in their place on her desk.

"Haven't got around to throwing them out," she shrugged. He rose a playful eyebrow as if to question her reasoning, as if he could see through her lie completely. Or even picture her placing the dead flowers right back on top of her desk like it was a normal thing to do. She ignored him. Not opening any doors for teasing and instead letting him continue his interrogation of her desk. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, mind only half on her work as she tried to remain nonchalant. She took inventory of her belongings, the things needed for her work, pens, papers and her computer, but there were some personal things too. Something she never would have done just a few years back as even the simplest things could give away who she was. But now the risk seemed worth it, and she could have her flowers and her picture frames with almost no fear. She framed the sonogram, angling it in a way that only she could see from her chair. Away from any and all visitors she might get during the day, even if she had caught Nick glancing at it more than a few times. It was hers. But she kept the other frame a little more in the open, as the picture could have been found online anyway. Steve picked it up, examining it as if he wasn't also in the group photo of all of the avengers. It was less embarrassing, knowing that it was not possible for him to know why she chose that photo in particular. That even though it was all of them gathered around a table it only caught her interest because he was next to her. An arm around her chair as he leaned closer to her, that charming smile on his face making her ignore everyone else in the picture whenever she glanced at it. "Find what you were looking for?" She asked.

"Just killing time" he explained as he set it back in its place. Though it wasn't long before that smile was back on his face, his attention still on the picture before he said, "You know I can get you more flowers."

"Nope," she said, "I don't want them."

The look on his face was evidence that he didn't believe her, but also had her assuming that there might be a fresh bouquet on her desk in the future, though she would far from mind it. Especially if it meant that he would visit her, to break up the work day somehow even if she couldn't get a thing done with him there. He picked up the sonogram next, and it was strange. How freely he could express what he was feeling, as anyone who looked at him in that moment could see how much love he already had for their kid. "Are you almost ready?" He asked, his voice more than hopeful.

"Almost," she answered. She shut down her computer, ignoring him as he drummed his fingers over the desk. She could get up on her own, not exactly easily but she could more than manage the task. He liked offering the help though, so she allowed it, and was even a bit disappointed when his hands fell to his sides and separated them. They were out the door, walking side by side through SHIELD. It was crowded, the amount of eyes on her almost making her want to swing by Nick's office just to question who hired all these people. People who were staring at her like she was a novelty, her appearance more of an interesting piece of gossip rather her baby. A life that already meant so much to her, to Steve too. Steve, who was by her side and completely unaware of their surroundings, too focused on where they were heading to even care.

It wasn't until they reached the parking garage did she even notice his hand in hers. Holding onto her like it was natural, like it was their normal.

She laced her hands through his, testing how it felt. Nice was a word that came to mind. She liked when he held her, liked how warm he was and could appreciate the affection for the luxury that it was. And if she couldn't have him with her every night, then holding his hand was the next best thing. But too soon he was pulling his hand away in favor of opening the car door for her once they reached the parking garage. And to her disappointment not reaching for her hand again once he had taken his own spot in the passenger side. She would have handed him the keys, but something told her that he would be driving faster than he should. But she almost pulled over a few times, as the way he was shaking his leg and tapping on the armrest was damn near driving her to the brink of insanity, but she managed to make it to the office devoid of any stops. He was out of the car and opening her door before she could even unbuckle her seat belt, that same excited smile on his face the whole time. They were early to their appointment, and she had half a mind to sit away from him in the waiting room as he was still jiggling his leg. She set a hand on his knee, not even thinking of the weight behind the touch because she just needed him to stop.

"Sorry," he apologized. He moved to place his hand over hers, lacing their fingers together tightly. Finding out their baby's gender was already not exactly what just friends did, and she had a feeling she would have to be the rational one that day. But she didn't want to be. That embarrassing giddy feeling never stopped around him and it did little for her will to pull away. So she held his hand in the waiting room, looking like any other couple in there as they waited. And maybe they could be. Even if it was just for ten or fifteen minutes, or however long they would be in that waiting room. She could just pretend they were normal.

But her name was being called soon after, taking the moment away and before she knew it she was in the exam room again. Laying down on the exam table, her blouse pulled up to expose her stomach as Steve sat besides her. Steve's hand never left her own even as the doctor applied a cold gel to her skin, but she couldn't find it in herself to pull away. Especially as they heard their baby's heartbeat, the noise filling the room and making her feel the same way she did the first time she heard it. She was nervous and excited, terrified but overjoyed, and more than anything was ready to hear the news already. The doctor moved the wand over the gel, though Natasha payed no mind to it as her eyes stayed on the screen. The ultrasound developing onto the screen and making everything else in that moment seem so unimportant.

Steve squeezed her hand, a reminder of his presence. And a quick glance to him almost made her look away fully from the screen, as something in the way he was looking at the ultrasound made her chest feel tight in a way that was not necessarily a bad feeling. But her hand tightened around his for an entirely different reason as the doctor examined the screen. She doesn't think she's ready for a girl. She doesn't think she is exactly ready for a kid at all, but it would never not be in the back of her mind. The Red Room and all the young girls that she couldn't help, the one's she left behind because she escaped a fate she left them to. How close her past would seem in her future, a future she would like to keep as separated from all the things she wished she could forget. It would be damn near impossible. Having a little girl that resembled her, and if she would be anything like her Father then she would be a fighter too. Still, there wasn't anything she wouldn't do for this kid and they weren't even born yet, and it wasn't something she could actually help even if she willed her fears not to come true. She might be able to handle having a girl in a few years. If she was changed and if she somehow found herself in this position again. If her life had become something else and if she and Steve...

She pushed the thought from her mind before she could even finish it. Not letting herself entertain the fantasy of playing house with him simply because she was wrapped up in a rare domestic moment with him. But that tight feeling in her chest was only getting worse, the time seeming to drag before the doctor turned to them. A smile on her face as she got a clear picture. "Ready to find out the gender?" She asked.

"I'm actually thinking I want to be surprised," Natasha said. Remaining serious for all of two seconds before Steve's expression had her laughing, making her feel a bit better before she reassured the Doctor that they were ready to know. She would have to make peace if it was a girl. She would raise any kid with everything she didn't have, would love them and protect them in a way Natasha could only dream of as a child. She wouldn't be the best Mother, and she was so thankful for Steve with that knowledge, but she would be damned if a single thing happened to this kid. Regardless of who they were.

"It's a boy. Congratulations you two."

Steve was kissing her hand, the gesture sweet but rushed. Then her cheek, and the crown of her head and just about anywhere but her lips. He might have been tearing up too, as she didn't think she imagined his watery laugh as he leaned in closer to her. But she didn't notice any of it. As she looked at the screen and saw her baby and heard his heartbeat all around her. Her world stopping as one thought played over in her mind.

She was having a son.

Steve looked ready to say something, but nothing came out but a few laughs before he buried his face in her shoulder. She couldn't find any words either, so instead she carded a hand through his hair, unable to focus on anything besides the two of them. The rest of the appointment was a blur, her mind elsewhere as they performed the routine checkup, and it wasn't until she was alone with Steve could she focus on the present.

She sat up, swinging her legs over the side of exam table. She stayed where she was though, as Steve was still holding her hand and leaning closer to her. "Happy?" She asked.

The corner of his lip quirked up, his head turning to the side as he let out a small laugh. "I would've been happy no matter what," he said, "It's starting to feel real."

She placed a hand on his cheek, gently cradling his face and remembering their night together. When she allowed herself to touch him freely and very well almost let herself be with him. Any warning signs she normally would have had were gone that night, and it wasn't too different from now. She didn't want to be apart from him. Didn't want to miss out on any more moments like this with their son, and wanting to share this with him.

She might have been the one to lean forward but he didn't protest as he did the same. His eyes on her lips before his gaze locked onto hers, but her eyes were slipping shut not too long after. His nose brushed against hers, making her lips tingle in anticipation and her stomach knot in a way it never did with anyone else. There was still hesitation, even if her mind wanted to ignore it, to push away the warnings that were always present in every aspect of her life. It was easy in a way things never were with him though, as there was nothing on her mind except the way his lips felt brushing against hers, so close to kissing her after she had to go months without it. She had kissed him enough to be familiar with him already, the way he always had a hand in her hair, or how his lips always grazed hers before he fully kissed her. It was what he did now, still new but comforting in a way things always were with him. Safe and stable, and never enough no matter how many kisses he stole from her.

One thing was different though. He pulled back before their lips even met. Clearing his throat as he stood from the chair, offering her a hand up even if he wasn't looking her in the eye. She deserved it, she guessed. After rejecting him more times than she could count since they even started whatever it was they were doing. But it didn't explain why it hurt so much, or why she even let it affect her in the first place. So she said nothing, as Steve seemed to be going the route of ignoring what happened. He still placed a hand on her waist as they walked back to the car. Chatting to her the entire ride back even as she stayed quiet, something about a mission she missed out on or somewhere he went with Sam. She couldn't pay attention, and she didn't know why. She didn't know how to explain what she was feeling, not quite embarrassed but something deeper. It was comforting, always having him there with her, always knowing that it was an option. But he seemed so far away from her in that moment, even as he filled the silence she created.

She said maybe a total of two words by the time they had reached her office, and once she was safely returned to work he turned to her. He smiled, almost apologetic as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, intimate in the very way he took away from them not more than twenty minutes before. Soon after his hands making a trail down her arms until his hands came to rest in hers. Natasha might actually have paid money to never have to talk about her feelings again, but now she found herself wanting him to open the conversation. She waited for an explanation. On why the man who always told her he'd be there for her suddenly didn't want to kiss her. How the offer of always being there and ready was suddenly gone.

It was childish and just plain stupid but as he kissed her cheek she couldn't help but think she lost him. That she waited too long to decide how she felt. That he had moved on for good.

His hands were still on her arms as he leaned back, looking ready to say something. His eyes roaming her face in a searching look before he sighed, choosing instead to excuse himself. "I have to head out but I'll see you."

The words felt caught in her throat, though they didn't need to be spoken. It was inevitable for her to ruin this somehow, she just thought she would have more time before she did. Though it was evident in the way he looked back at her before leaving, looking apologetic before closing her office door behind him. And just like that he was gone, before she could even reply to him he was out. Leaving without a word about what happened or even the smallest acknowledgment of it, and leaving her more confused than ever as he left.

T: ITS HAPPENING

Natasha was woken up, quite rudely may she just add, as her phone vibrated besides her. Lighting up and somehow seeming brighter than it usually was as it stung her eyes. She didn't know when she had turned into a house cat, as naps were apart of her daily routine more and more. And she took a moment to stretch out on Clint's couch, allowing her muscles to extend and kick Clint as he stayed seated at the end. He ignored her, checking his phone as he grimaced.

T: PEPPER'S HAVING CONTRACTIONS

"Oh, ew!" Clint exclaimed at Tony's message. Truthfully, Natasha had the group chat they shared muted half the time, as if there's one thing men could do, it was talking. And of stupid things too. But she had been paying attention to it as of late, and for this very reason.

"It's not gross," Natasha argued. Terrifying, maybe. Especially considering that she was the one carrying a baby with super soldier DNA, and Pepper only had a normal baby.

C: TELL HER TO STOP

Natasha kicked him again as his message popped up, this time on purpose and with enough to force to make him move to perch on the armrest. "It's freaky!" He protested. "I don't think those things are supposed to stretch like that."

"It's natural. Next time you come crying to me about another woman dumping you, remember this moment." He was out of kicking range, so instead she chose to throw a pillow at him. Almost nailing him in the head, but he intercepted it. Catching the pillow easily and tossing it away from her into the safety of the love seat.

"Like a watermelon coming out of a lemon," Clint said, voice tinged with both wonder and disgust.

"Clint."

Clint looked at her, eyes going to his stomach as if he was picturing what was to come. "Maybe get a C-Section, Tash," he recommended.

B: Why are we yelling?

She silenced her phone, not exactly enjoying the constant ringing from the two devices in the room. Clint was still scrolling through the messages though, grimacing all the while at the subject. "Why hasn't your boyfriend said anything?" He questioned. "Doesn't he love kids?"

"He's working," she said, immune to the nickname. Realizing that if she paid any attention to it it would only encourage him. Kind of like an annoying child. Maybe she's got the hang of this whole parenting thing.

"Think he'll cut back on that once the kid's born?" Clint asked.

"Don't know."

"Would you want him to?"

"It's not exactly his choice to be this busy," she argued. Truthfully she's thought about it. About the changes in both their lives. If she was doing this with anyone then she knew she couldn't have gotten any better than Steve. Still, he had his flaws. His almost obsessive work ethic being one of the undeniable ones. It was never an issue before when she was right up there with him, but it was different now. She had given him an out at the start, but as the days flew past her she couldn't help but fear of him changing his mind. Of going back on his word and leaving this kid with nothing but her because he had other responsibilities.

"So you do want him to?" Clint prodded. She didn't want to do this alone, and she didn't want to do this with someone she couldn't trust. And she might only want to do this with Steve. Which isn't something she fully understood yet. But she wouldn't be opposed to having him around more, that was one thing she was certain of.

"It wouldn't hurt for him to be present," she said, turning on her side and suddenly remembering how pleasant her nap was. And how unpleasant thinking of the future could be. Well, maybe not for everything. "We're having a boy," she added without preamble, testing how it felt to use the word we. To acknowledge that they weren't separate through all of this and that she wanted to rely on him even if she was only admitting it to Clint.

"That's news." Clint was smiling as he playfully nudged her leg. "Used to this whole baby thing yet?"

"No," she laughed. "I don't think I will be until I meet him." As if he knew she was talking about him, her baby stretched. Communicating to her in his own way as he responded to her voice. And she did the same, placing a hand over the spot he was kicking and smiling all the while.

"You seem happy, Tash."

She looked up, realizing Clint had caught her, and actually not being too embarrassed about it. "I think I am."

"So does Steve," Clint said. She understood the meaning behind it. A non invasive offer of an opening to fill him in on her life. Of why she disappeared for two days with nothing more than a text telling him that she'd be back soon, or what followed after. Her relationship with Steve taking a complete one eighty afterwards without a word of any reasoning why. If she said anything then she couldn't really omit the kiss, or the almost kiss, and that wasn't something she completely understood herself. Let alone something she wanted to mention.

"I hope he is."

Clint let her leave it at that. Already switching the conversation to a different subject. She did end up falling asleep again, but only long after she had said goodbye to Clint and returned to her own apartment. In her own bed at an acceptable time for rest, and she didn't wake up again until the morning. When her phone was ringing once more, a barely legible text from Tony claiming that his daughter was finally born. The sentence rushed and the words misspelled as he undoubtably typed the message in a hurry before sending it off to the group chat.

She took her time getting ready, not quite set on being the first one to arrive but not wanting to miss it either. It was well into the morning when she did arrive at the hospital, alone but not for long as she caught sight of a familiar face in the lobby. He turned, a wide smile on his face as he held a teddy bear that was almost the size of him. Which was saying a lot as the man wasn't exactly tiny.

Thor almost always greeted her with a hug, even if it wasn't her favorite greeting, but she had been spared from it today as his hands were full. Still, he took her appearance in, taking note of the visible difference in the few months they had been apart. "It's been a long time," he noted, "You look beautiful as always."

Bigger was more like it. She had kept up with the prenatal exercises recommended to her, and Steve had even claimed that she just looked like she had a pillow stuffed under her shirt, but it didn't feel like it. She didn't feel beautiful and hated the danger of it. Of one of her most useful advantages being taken away from her while she couldn't do a damn thing about it. Still, she smiled. As Thor never looked at her the same way the men she was used to in her Red Room days did. "Thank you. You're looking as… buff as ever," she said, giving his abs a gentle tap as they began to walk to the elevators. "How was your trip back home?"

"Great. It's always nice to be home," he said. She only nodded, not knowing the feeling he was speaking of as the nearly desolate apartment she took resident in was far from a home. "My family is fine and so are my people. My brother has asked after you all."

She smiled tightly at that, already having more than a few things to say about his brother that she was sure he didn't want to hear. His loyalty to Loki was admirable though, that even through all the lies and tricks he refused to give up on his brother. Which did say more about Thor than it did about Loki, but she wasn't going to mention that either. Truthfully, her mind was somewhere else. She hadn't seen Steve in a few days, only had a few phone calls with him on the nights he was away on SHIELD business. Confusing calls, she'd like to add, as she didn't expect calls just to say goodnight to her from a man with apparently no ulterior motive. But that was Steve, kind for no reason other than it being the right thing to do. Which was why he was probably already in that hospital room, so ready to be happy for his friends, to welcome a new addition into their own little family.

There had to be something with him. Something bad, something dark that he tries to hide, anything to bring him down to the same level as everyone else. But there was a part of her that didn't want to know if there was, she wanted that perfect image of him in her mind to never go away. Even had fleeting thoughts to not allow him to get close just to ensure that it never would happen. But she had made him a promise. That she was always going to be there for him, and for her son now too, and her days of running were over for good.

With that thought in mind she entered the hospital room, door number 882, going straight down the hall and taking a left at the vending machine, where Tony and Pepper were currently residing. The room was big, bright too as the big windows brought the sunny day indoors. He was here. Standing by the window as the sun weaved through his strands, creating a soft glow around the blonde. He was smiling, a wide, genuine smile that was too rare for him, and in his arms was the cause of it. A little bundle, wrapped securely in a blanket as Morgan began her first day in the world. There were other people in the room. Not nearly as important as Steve, but still there none the less. Even if she couldn't focus on them, just on him as he finally noticed her, sharing that smile with her in greeting as he called her closer. "You've got to see her, Nat."

She approached him, feeling strange for some reason. It felt like she should say something, felt like not knowing why he didn't kiss her was going to make her crazy. But she didn't mention it, and she doesn't think she would even if the timing wasn't wildly inappropriate. Instead she took him in, finding it in herself to lift a corner of her lips as she commented, "It suits you."

"What?" He asked, looking amused as he opened himself to any teasing she may have for him.

"The dad look," she said, "The khakis and the baby, all you need is a mini van."

He chuckled, taking it as a compliment as he smiled down at Morgan. "Want to hold her?" He asked. She hesitated. She shouldn't have. She was almost six months pregnant and closer to this very future every day, but still, her first instinct was to give him a small shake of her head. He didn't accept it. Already, he was passing Morgan to her, not giving her a warning as if she was a ball rather than a fragile newborn. He was strangely good at this, the way he directed her hands to support Morgan's head and how he managed to get her fully into Nat's arms without waking her.

It was the first time she seen a baby so… new. It was a little strange, she was all squish and rosy skin with the tuff of dark hair on her head all wild, and she was perfect. Completely perfect in a way Natasha had never witnessed before. She couldn't take her eyes off of Morgan and neither could Steve, even as he wrapped an arm around her, his head coming to rest against hers. "Not so bad, isn't it?" He asked.

It wasn't. And the way her mind was already picturing her son wasn't bad either, all softness and curious eyes. She's thought of it, if her baby would resemble her or Steve more. If his hair would be red or blonde, what the slope of his nose would look like, if he would smile as brightly as Steve or as rarely as herself. Everything in her was hoping this kid would be like Steve personality wise, but as far as appearances went she had no preference except for one, just for him to have Steve's eyes. The bright blue that had caught her attention the first time she saw them, even as Steve was squinting in the sunlight on the hellicarrier. She looked at those eyes now, only to see them looking back at her.

Suddenly she was anxious and excited and terrified all at once to start this life with him. But one thing was certain, that she wanted this with him. She just wasn't sure how she could ever deserve it, and it was possible that Steve was thinking the same thing. Burdened by the thought, the memory of him pulling away from her in that doctors room rushing back to her at it and being all too painful had her looking away. Finding solace in the way Morgan leaned into her, fully allowing Natasha to be a source of comfort as she tried to figure out her surroundings in the strange world she was brought into. If she wasn't herself then she might have choked up a bit, but she came damn close as she held the bundle closer to her. Protecting her completely in any way she could.

"So people don't give a shit about you once you have a baby?" Tony asked, breaking her out of whatever it was that was.

Tony was by her side, already taking the baby from her in a matter of seconds. Eagerly holding Morgan close to him as he smiled down to her. Natasha cleared her throat before taking a few steps back, suddenly embarrassed by her show of affection. But she still couldn't keep her eyes off of Morgan, and if Tony would have allowed it then she would have gladly held her for longer.

"Surprised we got her away from him for that long," Steve shrugged, coming up behind her and placing a hand on her lower back. The smallest touch that was enough to get her attention off of Morgan, even made her turn around just to see his face.

There would be time to know Morgan. To see her change and grow, see who she'll become. Because Natasha wasn't going anywhere. This life, the babies and family, Saturday nights at the Tower and her team, her son and Steve, it was her life now. It wasn't like her others either, it was permanent. Real. But as she looked at Pepper, laying in the hospital bed as Tony passed her daughter to her, it didn't feel real. Didn't feel like the life she was meant to have even if was too late to change.

But she did something she had never done before. She ignored those voices in her head, screaming at her that she was unfit, that she was too damaged, that she wasn't good enough. Instead her hand found Steve's arm, trying to anchor herself to the present so she wouldn't slip away to somewhere she really did not want to be in that moment.

He pulled his arm away in favor of pulling her to him, almost being enough for her mind to only go to him. To the way he felt, how warm he was, how comforting it was to have him besides her. He was a pretty good distraction, and that suffocating feeling she was beginning to have slowly but surely dispersed. Then it wasn't long before Bruce was showing up, then Clint with Wanda not too far behind him. All gathering around the bed as Tony and Pepper allowed them into this moment, a moment that really was something to be treasured. Natasha smiled and didn't leave Steve's side until much later, when he walked her to her car and hugged her goodbye, keeping her to him longer than necessary as they held each other in the parking lot. It was special for them too, as the same thoughts had to be on his mind also. Of all the things they had to look forward to, the things that seemed so close yet so far away.

"We'll meet him soon," he promised, whispering it into her hair like a secret. She nodded, looking up at him and placing a hand on his cheek.

"Very soon."

AN: I am really sorry about the wait, guys! Just know that I do read every review, and I have managed to reply to everyone whose reached out to me on my tumblr for an update, and I am still trying to get this all up on Ao3 as soon as I can. And if you're questioning the authenticity of my claim to being busy, I haven't even see far from home yet so if anything in this chapter didn't match up to the movie then please rest assured that I'll apologize to Jake Gyllenhaal personally. And while I'm at it I'll apologize for never saying his name right once in my life. Anyways, let me know what you thought and drop a review! As always thank you for all the favs/follows and the reviews