Hundreds of years ago, was a small town nestled next to a large river and near some mountains. The people there were friendly (for the most part) and knew each other by name. The women were beautiful, the men were charming, and the children were mischievous. However, this quaint town was overrun by rats.

The vermin were everywhere. In the food, in the water. They were in the houses where they bit the occupants. They scared off the cats and frightened the dogs. They interrupted the work of the men and the conversations of the women. And everywhere was the sound of squeaking and screeching.

Finally the town got together and confronted the mayor to discuss the problem at the town's hall.

"We have to do something!" cried Roderich. "The vermin are interrupting my playing!" Elizaveta, his wife, patted his arm comfortingly.

"That's nothing! I have bite marks all up my back," yelled Gilbert, turning around and lifting his shirt to show ugly red marks.

"Me too!" said Feliciano as happy as ever.

"Bruder, put down your shirt and Feli don't you dare disrobe either," Ludwig said facepalming.

"Aiyah! I can't cook with these things scratching their way into my kitchen!" yelled Yao swinging around a wok nearly hitting other people in the process. His brothers tried to get him to put it down before he actually did hit somebody.

"Yes, we need, like, a fabulous idea. Something that will get rid of these rats forever!" said Feliks.

"A superhero!" cried Alfred loudly cutting off his brother, Matthew, who was about to say something. "He could shoot lazers out of his eyes and crispy-fry the little beasts! And he can totally put a forcefield around the town!"

"Shut up you bloody wanker! There's no way that would ever work!" huffed Arthur.

"Ohonhon-"

"You shut up too!" The Brit said turning to Francis who he had just cut off.

"We can beat them with pipes da?" Ivan asked bringing out a pipe.

"Oh my god!" exclaimed Eduard jumping behind Toris.

"We can't do that! It's too violent," Toris said trying to calm down the large Russian. "N-now, put that away…"

"We can drown them in the river, eh?" whispered Matthew but nobody heard him.

"Tomatoes!" Antonio said.

"That won't work bastard!" Lovino cried hitting Antonio on the head.

"What about-" Matthew started.

"Cats," said Herackles with a yawn.

"We already tried that," huffed Sadik.

"I agree with Herackles," said Kiku.

"Stop agreeing with people!" said Vash.

By now the room was in complete chaos. The townspeople were yelling over each other trying to get their voices heard. People were threatening each other and getting pushed around.

Finally, Belle turned to the mayor of the town, "What should we do Mayor?"

"Yes, what should we do?" repeated the townspeople.

Mathias Køhler wasn't expecting everyone to turn to face him suddenly. He straightened up his posture in the chair at the front the room. He straightened his hair and fixed his tie. Then rubbing the back of his neck, he sheepishly said, "Uh… I don't know?"

The townspeople were silent for a moment before exploding into sound again. Arguing and yelling, hitting and throwing. Chaos reigned everywhere.

Suddenly, light tapping came at the door of the hall. It's a surprise that such light tapping could even be heard over the angry cries and chatter.

"Come in!" Mathias cried desperately.

The door opened and a strange person entered the building, causing a silence to fall over the people. He wore a long, colorful, hodgepodge coat that fell to his heels and covered his thin frame. Deep dark blue swept around the room with a bored look and his mouth was set to a thin line. His thin blonde hair fell over his right eye while the left side was parted by a small, gold cross clip. He also wore a colorful scarf around his neck, and a pipe hung around his neck at the end of a rope.

"Hello, pleased to meet you," the man started ignoring the obvious gaping of the mayor. "My name is Lukas, but many people call me the Pied Piper. I can draw away any creature under the sun. Mice, toads, bats. Why, last month I rid a town of snakes and another of bees. I see you have a lot of cats, but that's not the problem is it? The problem is rats. I can get rid of them for you of course, but there is a price: a thousand dollars."

"A thousand dollars? I'll give you fifty thousand!" Mathias laughed happily. Then he jumped up and gave Lukas a giant hug.

"Get off!" Lukas cried, prying the man off of him.

The Piper stepped out into the middle of the street as the townspeople watched from the sides. His lips quirked up at the corners into a small smile as he gently touched his pipe, as if he knew a secret that no one else did. His dark blue eyes shone brightly and he fingers lightly covered the holes of the pipe. Then he blew over the hole of the flute and created a single high note.

Then he began a quick, high-pitched melody. It went up and down, with trills and flips. It went in turns and loops and was positively fast-paced.

Then a rumble came. At first it was quiet, then it grew until it was near deafening. The pitter-patter of tiny feet.

Rats came pouring out of the houses and barns, out of the church and stores. From the food sacks, attics, barrels, and floorboards. Rats of all shapes and sizes: brown rats, blacks rats, long rats, fat rats, young rats, and old rats.

Lukas continued his playing as he walked down the streets, the rats followed after him, dancing to the Piper's quick tune. He led them down to the river where the rats, still dancing, went into the river and drowned.

The townspeople, who were still watching in a stunned silence, broke out into cheers and laughter. They rang the bells and knocked on the doors, celebrating the loss of the vermin.

Mathias laughed and turned to the people. "Block up the holes and knock out the nests! Make sure those rats never come back!"

"But first," interrupted Lukas. "My payment, if you please. I believe a thousand dollars will do." He held out his hand as the town fell into silence and looked to Mathias for guidance. He smirked to himself. A small town like this could never pay that amount, especially if they wanted to comfortably survive the winter.

Unbeknownst to Lukas, the town luckily had a wonderful treasurer who invested the town's money very well.

Mathias looked to Lars who nodded at the mayor's silent question. Then he turned back to Lukas with a grin.

"It's yours!" he said. "Alright people, back to your celebratin' and feastin'!"

Lukas blinked in surprise, that wasn't what he expected. He watched in stunned silence as Lars handed him the money due. Then the Piper was left in the street as the townspeople ran to their houses and barns, but he was not alone.

Mathias turned back to him with a smile and a mischievous glint in his eye.

"So," he started, coming closer to the Piper with an arrogant gait. "How 'bout you stay with me for a while? You can have a nice meal and I can have nice company," he said looking Lukas up and down lewdly.

Lukas frowned and said, "I have to be on my way."

"C'mon," Mathias countered stepping into the Piper's path. "I know you want this," he continued, gesturing to himself. "And I won't deny it, I know I'm awfully sexy."

"Awfully conceited," Lukas countered. "I'd watch yourself if I were you."

"Mhmm, I bet you would. If you were me, you couldn't wait to be naked in front of a mirror, huh?" The mayor said with a wink.

"I'm warning you, leave me be," Lukas growled, touching the pipe around his neck subconsciously. He went around the stubborn man and continued on his path. However, Mathias was persistent and followed after the man like a lost puppy.

"But hey, you're pretty sexy, so maybe I'll give you a free show – or not. Don't worry, the price is small, I made a deal only for you. One kiss is all I ask for. A single kiss on the lips. It's a good deal. You shouldn't pass it up. A hot guy like me, you'd be lucky to have y'know?" Lukas clenched his fist and spun around to face the taller man who was right behind him.

"Shut up!" Lukas growled.

"No."

"You're really testing my patience."

"Yep!"

"You'll regret this."

"Mmm… probably." Mathias shrugged carelessly.

"Very well."

Once again Lukas stepped out in to the street and brought the pipe up to his lips. After giving Mathias a quick glare, he blew a softer, lower note from his pipe. Then he played a lovely melody. It was joyful and happy with an underlying tone of promise and sadness. The people nearby looked on in wonder.

Then once again came the patter of footsteps, but not of rats. Rather of children. The children dance and ran, following after the piper who walked out of the village. The laughed and sang, unaware of those they left behind.

"Peter!" cried Tino running after his boy, with Berwald not two steps behind. The other adults did the same, following after in concern and desperation.

The children, however, cared not. They were content with the joyful music and the promise of happiness and wonder the Piper assured. They skipped and danced and clapped to the music. They laughed and chattered and sang. Merrily, they followed the Piper to the mountain.

Lukas smiled to himself a wicked smile as he played the jubilant music. The children followed along all according to his plan. Lukas glanced back at the following children only to do a double-take.

In the middle of the children still following Lukas, was Mathias also dancing along. The man-child was apparently childish enough to be put under the spell along with the children.

Oh my fucking god Lukas thought. He probably would have said it aloud too if he wasn't busy trying to keep the children (and man-child) under his pipe's spell.

What should he do? He loved children and their delightful wonder, it was the one thing he loved most. However the mayor was an annoying fellow. If he kept the children he would also be keeping the mayor. The punishment though was meant for Mathias, it would be a pointless endeavor to continue this spell if the Dane would only keep following.

Just before the Piper and the children (and Mathias) could reach the mountain where a cave would open up to the other side, Lukas stopped his joyful music with a sigh.

The children looked around confused and disappointed for the beautiful music full of promise and wonder suddenly stopped. Mathias watched Lukas with a smile and a knowing curiosity.

The children returned to their families in a daze. They may have been disappointed to be forever separated by the music's promise but they were more than happy to return home. Home where they will be comfortable and with the people who love and care for them.

Lukas looked on with dejected blue eyes, watching as the children seemed jubilant even without his music. Alone he was meant to be, only taking comfort in the pipe that hung around his neck.

Then he turned to see Mathias still watching him with a smile.

"What?" the Piper asked annoyed by the watchful gaze.

"You're cute," was the simple answer of the mayor. It was such a simple sentence, a sentence that did meant nothing yet everything. The pale cheeks of the Piper blossomed red and he hastily looked away.

The man reminded the Piper of a child. Annoying, loud, and oblivious. Carefree, boisterous, and wild. He had a gleam in his eye full of wonder and spark and permanently had a cheeky smile.

Perhaps, Lukas wouldn't be alone after all. Perhaps this man could do.

And so alas, alas for the small town nestled between the mountains and a large river. The town searched far and wide for the Piper, offering gold and riches. Yet their mayor was never to be found. The Piper and his dancer was gone forever.

And set in a stone on the town's square displayed the words "And here it happened on the twenty-second of July in thirteen hundred seventy-six". And the street where Mathias was last seen they called the Pied Piper's Street.

Though they say, in a country far away, there are two men who live together. Forever in love throughout their incessant arguing. And while one plays his pipe the other dances.

A/N

Hope you liked it! This was a spoof of Robert Browning's poem "The Pied Piper of Hamelin"... it's my favorite :) You should read it if you get a chance! I put an easy link to it on my profile!

Obviously I changed some things in it to make the DenNor work and added a bit more dialouge :P I also tried to write it in the style the poem is sort of written in... hope it wasn't too hard/awkward to read!

This was actually really fun to write xD

Tell me what you think! Thanks for reading! :D

(I love the ending personally xD)