Somewhere, in Central East Asia, sits a Buddhist monk temple. We see our beloved sockheaded protagonist walks up to the front gate. He walks in and over to one of the monks who is Eddy. "Eddy. It's the Fourth of July, man. We need to bring Two Best Eds back." Edd said.
"Why waste such a beautiful life on needless gaming when we can enjoy the peace of Mother Earth?" Eddy asked.
"Because, real life sucks. It's filled with crime and idiots and movies that suck and idiots and hippies and idiots. We need someone to ignore all that and another guy angry enough to go on a rant about them."
"The world would operate better without hippies." Eddy said. Edd then noticed that glimmer in Eddy's eyes. The type of glimmer that indicates you're getting pissed.
"Hippies are bad. What about Hipsters?"
"Hipsters are just a bunch of wannabes who deserve a good square kick to the go-nads."
"And people who watch modern cartoons?"
"F*** those modern-day loving motherf****ers! When the animation and story of a Youtube cartoon is better than any show on a network then you know we've reached a dark period in Animation! If you know a person who actually like modern cartoons kids, do them a favor and kick them square in the twins cradle!"
"You're back baby."
"No, we're back."
At the title screen of Metal Wolf Chaos. "How did you get this game man?" Eddy asked.
"I have a friend who knows a guy who knows a cousin who has a brother who has an uncle who has a roommate who knows a doctor who know a farmer who knows a grocery store clerk who knows a college student who knows a video game arts director who has a friend that got him this game." Edd answered.
"... Okay again."
The duo battles terrorists in front of the White House while piloting a giant mecha. "This is what White House Down should've been! Instead we just got Olympus Has Fallen meets Die Hard." Eddy rants.
"Jamie Fox was so lucky Will Smith turned down the role for Django Unchained cause until that movie I didn't even know Jamie was still a thing." Edd adds.
"That movie would've so much better with Will Smith."
"Django was Asian before this movie came out."
"Really?"
"Yeah, and the first version of Django was white."
"Damn, They Nick Furyied him."
They reach the cut scene where they discover the Vice President was the villain all along. "Dho! Damn you Biden!" Eddy yells.
"The Vice President ain't yo whipping boy anymore." Edd says.
"Now, for him to have been my vice president that means I had to run an entire election campaign with him and believed he wouldn't have betrayed me in the future. So my question is how did I, or anyone else in my campaign, not have known this guy was out to get me?"
"Maybe you were just all like Megatron and all like 'Vice President, you better not be plotting against me.'"
"He Starscreamed the hell out of Starscream."
The Duo fight the first boss. "If America had all of these hidden mechs then why are we letting Japan fight all the Kaijus on their own?" Edd asks.
"Big Guy helped them out with that Frank Miller Godzilla." Eddy answers.
"Big Guy is the most American superhero ever made ever."
"More American than Captain America?"
"He's so American, he makes Captain America look like Comrade Communist."
"That's pretty American."
"Did you know I was supposed to be the original Patriot?" Edd asks.
"What happened?"
"Mel Gibson begged me to pass up the role so he could have it."
"I find that incredibly hard to believe."
The duo blow up a cage filled with civilians. "No! This won't help with my reelection campaign." Edd says.
"I don't. If I saw The President wasting defenseless civilians I may just vote for him out of fear." Eddy adds.
"I think that's how Obama was reelected."
The Eds complete the game. "And so our Manhunt of the Vice President come to an end." Edd says.
"If you were hunting a man would you eat him?" Eddy asks.
"... Depends on the circumstances." Edd answers.
"What would you rate this game?"
"Fortyfive out of fifty stars. Got kind of repetitive."
"That's high praise."
What will be the Eds next game? I don't know! You decide! America!