The Gods Play Truth or Dare
Hermes was bored. It was not I'm-choosing-not-to-do-something bored, it was There-is-nothing-to-do bored. It was the Winter Solstice.
Zeus was ranting about something, but Hermes didn't know what he was ranting about. Zeus probably knew what he was rambling about, he did have that right. It was his rant.
"I'M BORED!" Hermes whined.
Zeus glared at the god of messengers. "We are discussing an important topic right now," the sky god looked annoyed.
If you listened close enough you could have heard Poseidon mumble, "It's more like a one-sided conversation,".
"I know, but we should play Truth or Dare," Hermes was pushing Zeus' buttons.
"We actually should," Athena put down the dictionary she was reading.
"~Gasp~ Athena wants to play a game!" Poseidon gasped.
"Oh, shut it, Kelp Head," Athena insulted.
"Bookworm,"
"Barnacle Breath,"
"Owl Head,"
"Enough!" Hera yelled.
"Why should we play a game that a boy wants to play?" Artemis asked.
"If he doesn't get to play Truth or Dare on a day that he has off, he'll steal things and pull pranks. Again," Athena explained.
"Oh," Hades stated.
"Okay, I'll go first," Athena decided.
"Who said that you get to go first?" Ares complained.
"Truth or Dare, Poseidon?" Athena ignored Ares.
"Dare," Poseidon sat up.
"I dare you to hit your head on the wall twenty times," Athena dared.
Poseidon got up and proceeded to bang his head against the wall. After five hits, Athena stopped him.
"Stop, Poseidon! You can't lose any more brain cells. That would be catastrophic! You would have no brain cells!"
Poseidon sat on his throne.
"Catastrophic? What does that mean?" Apollo asked.
"Catastrophic: It's an adjective meaning involving or causing sudden great damage or suffering." Athena stated.
"Thank you, Miss Dictionary," Apollo smiled
"Hades," Demeter said. "Truth or dare?" she asked.
Now, Hades thought he was thinking, but actually, he was saying it out loud. "Do I choose truth or dare? If I choose truth, I'll be called a wimp, but if I choose dare, I'll have to eat cereal. What to choose? Wimp, cereal, wimp, cereal," By now, Hades' arms were out like a balance, and he was measuring to see which was lighter.
"How does he know me so well?" Demeter asked.
"He's always been a wimp," Ares decided.
"Does he know that he's saying it out loud?" Athena asked.
"Are you getting this?" Apollo questioned.
"Dude, I wouldn't miss this for anything!" Hermes looked up from behind his video camera.
Artemis and Hephaestus were annoyed. Hephaestus thought automatons would do better, and Artemis thought that girls would do better.
"I choose truth!" Hades decided.
"Wimp," Ares coughed.
"Do you have something stuck in your throat, Ares?" Apollo asked.
"Shut up," the war god growled.
Artemis had a slight smile on her lips.
"Ah! Lil' sis' has a slight smile on her face! I should recite a haiku to make sure this turns into a holiday!" Apollo smiled.
"I am not your little sister!" Artemis growled.
"My sister has smiled…." Apollo began.
"Demeter! The truth!" Zeus was frantic.
"Oh, yeah! Hades, is it true that you watched My Little Pony?" Demeter asked.
"Ermm, what? Why would you say such a thing?" Hades stuttered.
"Hades…." Hera warned.
"Alright, when I was really, really young." Hades hid his face.
"My Little Pony came out when you were 6,289," Athena frowned.
"Stupid male," Artemis growled.
"You…Watched….My….Little…Pony?" Ares gasped for his breath.
"Artemis!" Hades yelled. "Truth or dare!" he was still blushing.
"Truth,"
"Is it true that you had a crush on Orion?" Hades spouted the first question that popped into his mind.
Artemis blushed. "He was unlike other males." she said the "m" word like some sort of disease.
"You know you love us," Apollo stated.
"No I don't," Artemis said fiercely.
"Zeus," Hera asked. "Truth or dare?" she asked.
"Dare?" Zeus' answer came out like a question.
Hera pointed to her lips.
"Cover your ears!" Athena ordered.
"Why would we do that?" Hermes and Apollo were the only ones with their ears uncovered.
"EEK, THAT IS SO CUTE!" Aphrodite screeched.
"Ow," Hermes and Apollo winced.
"I told you so," Athena smirked.
"Hermes, truth or dare?" Apollo asked.
"Dare," Hermes was ready to take it on.
"Steal Dionysus' wine magazine," Apollo ordered.
Hermes got up and walked to Dionysus' throne. The wine god was sleeping.
The messenger god tugged on the corner of the magazine, but Dionysus rolled over in his sleep. He was clutching the magazine like a little kid would hold a teddy bear.
Sitting down, Hermes tugged on his flying shoes, and, as quiet as possible, he whispered "Maia,".
Ares was getting annoyed. He yelled. "WOULD YOU JUST HURRY UP AND STEAL THE STUPID MAGAZINE!".
"Five more minutes, Mom," a moan came from Dionysus' throne.
Poseidon snickered.
Hermes gave an irked look to Ares, but he managed to replace the magazine with a newspaper.
"Nice job," Apollo high-fived Hermes.
"It would have been easier if someone hadn't interrupted.
"Whatever," Ares cleaned his sword.
"Poseidon," Hermes stated. "Truth or dare," the messenger god smirked.
"Dare,"
"Turn all of Ares' weapons to liquid," Hermes said so that Ares couldn't hear.
Poseidon made a fist, but all of Ares weapons turned to liquid metal.
Artemis turned to Zeus, "Truth or dare," she challenged.
"Truth,"
"How many women have you liked?" Artemis questioned.
"Eight million, six hundred and eighty-six thousand, one hundred three," Zeus stated.
Hera glared at Zeus.
"You're my number one," Zeus stated. "Hades! Truth or dare?"
"Truth,"
"Have you broken the oath?" Zeus accused.
"Nope," Hades looked proud.
"Why can't you be more like your brother?" Hera asked.
"Because he's a zombie man," Zeus stated, as if that made all the sense in the world.
"Airhead,"
"Dead man,"
"Lightning boy,"
"Enough!" Hera screamed for the second time.
"Aphrodite, truth or dare?" Artemis asked.
"Dare,"
"I dare you to dump Ares and go with Hephaestus," Artemis stated.
"What?" Ares stuttered.
"Sorry, Ares, but I'm with Hephaestus now," Aphrodite hugged Hephaestus.
Hephaestus grinned triumphantly.
"You dare," Ares threatened.
"Yes, I do dare," Hephaestus grinned even more.
Ares growled.
"Ares, truth or dare?" Hephaestus asked.
"Dare,"
"I dare you to walk over to Hera, hug her, and say "I love you, Mommy,"," Hephaestus dared.
"You dare," Ares repeated.
"You need to think of better threats. It doesn't sound threatening if you use that every time," Hephaestus stated.
"I won't do it," Ares stated stubbornly.
"You have to, it's a dare," Hephaestus was having a good day.
"Fine," Ares grumbled a bit.
The war god walked over to his mother and hugged her. "I love you, Mommy," Ares squealed.
"Dude," Hades laughed. "Did you just squeal?"
"Shut up," Ares walked back to his chair.
"Did you get that?" Apollo asked.
Hermes looked up from the camera and showed an expression that said Duh.
"See? That's how family should be," Hera stated.
"You threw me off of Olympus!" Hephaestus complained.
Hera was silent.
"Poseidon, truth or dare?" Artemis asked.
"Dare," he didn't know what was coming.
"Eat a bowl of cereal," Artemis ordered.
"What?"
"Eat a bowl of cereal," the moon goddess repeated.
"No!" Poseidon groaned.
"Yes!" Demeter did a happy dance.
After Poseidon did that horrible deed he stated "Demeter, truth or dare?".
"Dare,"
"Wake up Dionysus," Poseidon grinned.
"Sure, how hard can that be?" Demeter did not know what was about to hit her.
~FIVE HOURS LATER~
"Cereal! Cheerios! Apple Jacks! Chex! Cinnamon Toast Crunch!" Demeter gasped for breath.
"I think you're giving him nightmares instead of waking him up," Hermes snickered.
"You getting this?" Apollo asked.
"I will never put down this camera. This is so going on Hephaestus TV!" Hermes grinned.
"Yeah!" Apollo agreed.
Demeter thought for a bit, "A new wines on sale!"
"I'm up!" Dionysus yawned.
Zeus leaned forward. "Truth or dare?"
"What?" the wine god was confused.
"We are playing Truth or Dare," Hera explained slowly, as if she were talking to a two-year-old.
"Oh, truth," Dionysus yawned again.
"Who are your two most favorite demigods at Camp Half-Blood?" Zeus asked.
"Castor and Pollux, duh," Dionysus stated.
All of the gods with children looked offended.
"Wait, who took-HERMES! GIMME BACK MY MAGAZINE!" Dionysus roared.
"Give me! Give me!" Athena corrected.
"You'll get your magazine back at the end of the game." Hermes stated.
"Aphrodite," Hades asked. "Truth or dare," the god of the Underworld did not understand karma.
"Dare,"
"You're braver than Dionysus," Poseidon grinned.
"Put make-up on Ares," Hades commanded.
"Okay," Aphrodite proceeded with her task. "Ugh, how much foundation will he need? Hermes, Apollo, Hephaestus, hold him down,"
In the end, Ares was covered in make-up.
"You dare," the war god threatened.
"I told you, find a new threat!" Hephaestus sighed.
Hermes was still video-taping, but now Apollo was also snapping some pictures.
Ares flashed the make-up off.
"Ugh, do you know how much work I put into that?" Aphrodite complained.
"Demeter, truth or dare," Poseidon asked.
"Dare,"
"Force-feed Hades cereal," Poseidon snickered.
"Gladly," Demeter approached Hades.
"No!" the god of riches stated stubbornly.
Demeter shoved a Cheerio into Hades' mouth.
"Disgusting," Hades frowned.
Because of that, Demeter pelted Hades with hundreds of Cheerios.
"Save me!" Hades whimpered.
"Wimp," Ares chortled.
"Ares!" Hera chastised.
"Dionysus," Artemis smirked. "Truth or dare,"
"Dare,"
"I dare you to actually play this game." Artemis looked annoyed.
"That's the lamest dare ever!" Ares snickered.
Artemis shot him in the thigh with an arrow.
"Ow!" Ares yelled.
"Aw, did little Ares get hurt?" Artemis smirked.
"You dare…." Ares repeated his catch phrase.
"Get a new phrase!" Hephaestus scowled.
"You have to admit, Dionysus hasn't really been playing." Athena considered.
"Fine," Dionysus yawned, "Athena, truth or dare?" the wine god spouted out the first goddess that came across his mind.
"Truth,"
"How many books have you read today?" Dionysus asked her the question everyone wanted answered.
"Five hundred seven," Athena sighed. "I would have read more, but so many authors have been suffering from writer's block recently. There are not many books that I have not read," she was depressed.
"Wow," Apollo was amazed. "I only read when I have to,"
Athena dumped a huge pile of books on the ground by his feet. "You now have to read all of those,"
"No!" Apollo groaned.
"It seems like you'll be doing a lot of reading," Hermes snickered.
"So will you," Athena dumped another pile of books at his feet.
"No!" Hermes whined.
"I think we should be done so those two can read." Artemis suggested.
"No!" Hermes and Apollo whined.
"Yes!" Dionysus did a happy dance.
"We should, but we can play again sometime," Zeus decided.
Athena dragged Hermes and Apollo out of the room to read. Although, Dionysus soon followed them.
"GIMME MY MAGAZINE!" Dionysus screamed.
"Give me! Give me!" Athena corrected.
"I don't care, woman! I need my magazine.
The other gods rolled their eyes, and the Winter Solstice meeting adjourned.