Some characters you might see in this text

GORDON SHUMWAY (A.K.A., A.L.F.)- A wise-cracking alien from the planet Melmac.

JOHN "JOHNNY" RODERICK GAGE-A young fireman/paramedic in his mid-twenties.

ROY DESOTO- A calm, experienced, fireman/paramedic in his early thirties.

DR. KELLY BRACKETT-Handsome, serious-minded doctor who is the leading heart-surgeon at Rampart General Hospital.

NURSE DIXIE MCCALL-Head nurse in the ER at Rampart General Hospital.

CAPTAIN HENRY "HANK" STANLEY-A strict, but not cold fire captain in his late thirties.

CHESTER "CHET" KELLY-Prank-playing fireman who works at Station 51.

DR. JOE EARLY-A kind, gray-haired doctor who works at Rampart General Hospital.

OFFICER JAMES A. REED-Dashing young policeman in his early twenties.

OFFICER PETER J. MALLOY-Experienced, uptight police officer in his late thirties.

MARTY MCFLY-Confused youngster with a time-traveling DeLorean.

CAPTAIN JOSH EVRETT-Troubled and divorced young fire captain who lives alone.

ROPEY CARSON-An Italian-born cowboy who is in such a mental state, that he believes that he's in the late 1800's.

PINT-SIZE TUHHURN-Ropey's best friend, who also believes that he's in the late 1800's.

DONNA LANE-A beautiful young woman in her mid-twenties, who works for the DAP.

JACK BLAKE-A surly young man in his thirties, who also works for the DAP.

WILLIE TANNER-A middle-aged un-authoritative father who despises Alf.

KATE TANNER-Wife to Willie Tanner and mother to Lynn and Brian. Not patient with Alf.

LYNN TANNER-Kate and Willie's tall, eighteen year-old daughter who feels sorry for Alf.

BRIAN TANNER-Lynn's eight-year old brother who is friend to Alf and can't live without him.

MEREDITH GRISWOLD-Johnny's annoying and nosey next-door neighbor.

JASON CHANNING-Cheery fireman/paramedic with a heavy English accent.

"Is it safe?" Fireman/paramedic Roy DeSoto asked his paramedic partner, Johnny Roderick Gage, who was poking his head around the side of the squad car.

"I dunno." he murmured in response.

Roy struggled to hold the black body bag, which was squirming in his arms.

"Stop wiggling!" Roy spat at the body bag.

The person inside did not comply.

"Let me out! You're violating my alien rights!" the voice decreed.

Johnny whipped around and scowled at Roy.

"Shut him up, will you?" he snapped ungraciously, still trying to see if it was safe to move from their spot in the fire station garage. After the fighting between Roy and the body bag had settled down, Johnny motioned with his hand for Roy to come forward. The two scuttled towards the squad car's storage compartments. Johnny flew the doors open and vigorously gestured for Roy to shove the body in. Roy tossed the black body bag in the storage compartment and slammed the doors, ignoring the muffled protests coming from the squirming body.

Johnny leaned up against the squad car, relaxing his tensed shoulders.

"Thank goodness that's over." he sighed in relief.

Roy looked unsure. He looked back and forth to make sure no other firemen were around.

"Now what?" he hissed, trying to keep his voice down to a whisper.

"What do you mean, 'now what?'" his partner demanded. Roy shook his head and muttered something under his breath, not hiding the fact that he was very flustered.

"We can't keep him in there forever!" he whispered urgently.

"Why not?" Johnny snorted with a one-sided grin.

Roy narrowed his eyes and frowned. "He'll scream or do something and then our secret will be found out!" he explained. Johnny's eyes bolted wide open.

"What?" he demanded, "Our secret? This is your problem, not mine!" he said, trying to unjustly sic his problem on someone else. Roy huffed and gritted his teeth.

"You also know that it's a crime to shelter an illegal alien!" Johnny accused. Roy went slack-jawed and stammered for words.

"I wasn't the one who found him in your locker eating your cookies!" Roy shot back. That was an outright lie, but what else could be said in a moment of hot anger?

"Yes you were!" Johnny contradicted. Roy gave him a nasty look and

Johnny covered his eyes with his hands and sighed. This was going to be a lot harder than he thought. This was the last thing he wanted to do on a Monday. Mondays were already hard enough as it was, not counting the fact that he and his partner were hiding an illegal alien in that very station, Station Fifty-one. Roy glared at Johnny with cold contempt, trying to bite back some snappy remarks. Johnny sighed again and crossed his arms.

"I've got an idea." he started. Roy rolled his eyes. "I was afraid of that." he muttered.

Johnny was about to insult him, but didn't have the chance; his partner cut him off.

"Whenever you get an idea, it's like 'Watch out!' I mean, really! You could be put in the failures national hall of fame!" Roy said, raising his voice. Johnny slammed his fist up against the squad car, unaware that he had slightly dented it.

"Would you just bloody listen to me? We've got to get that thing out of here before the cap finds out! If he does, he'll call the cops and then other people will find out and there'll be mass chaos!" he exclaimed.

"That thing is a creepy, furry, three-foot-tall eating machine!" Roy yelled.

"All the more reason we should get him out of here! How about you hide him at your house?" Johnny suggested coolly. Roy snapped his glare back at Johnny with an expression of outrage.

"No way! You can skin me alive and drench me in boiling oil, but I will not, I repeat, not, have that creature in my house!" Roy shouted. Fire Captain Henry "Hank" Stanley poked his head out of his office and frowned.

"What the hell is all the yelling about?" he demanded.

Johnny and Roy pressed their backs up against the squad car's compartment doors and smiled.

"Oh, nothing!" Roy replied quickly, almost giving way to suspicions. Johnny nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, Roy and I just had a little disagreement. That's all." he explained.

Captain Stanley didn't believe them one bit, but he wasn't in the mood for finding out what the problem was.

"Well, keep it down," he warned, "I was trying to decide on which colors I should order the new fire coats in, which, incidentally, didn't require a darned wake up call!" with that, he slammed his office door shut.

"Nice going, partner." Johnny sneered. Roy ignored him and opened up the storage compartment. He grabbed the body bag and headed out to the parking lot in the back of the fire station. Johnny raced after him and tried to get in front him, but Roy walked around him and pretended he didn't notice.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Johnny asked.

Roy didn't stop walking until he had reached Johnny's 72' Plymouth Barracuda and had pulled open the passenger's side door. He threw the bag in the passenger's seat with a smile of triumph.

"He's your problem now!" Roy said. He then stormed off, mumbling things as he went.

Johnny scowled at his paramedic partner and yanked out the body bag. He dropped it roughly on the pavement and kicked it.

The person inside unzipped the bag and poked their head out. In fact, it wasn't a person at all! It was a furry, brown, three-foot alien from the planet Melmac. He rubbed his elongated snout and looked up at Johnny.

"Son of gun, man! You didn't have to drop me like a sack of potatoes." the alien complained, narrowing his tiny black eyes at the ticked-off paramedic.

"I suppose I shouldn'ta kicked you either?" Johnny said sarcastically.

The alien got up out of the bag and climbed into Johnny's car.

"Hey! Sweet ride, man!" he exclaimed as he sat in the driver's seat and pretended to race the car. Johnny flung open the driver's side door and shoved the alien away.

"Alf, stop it!" he commanded.

Alf shrugged and raised his ears.

"Well, la-ti-da! Why didn't you just say so?"

Johnny sat down in his car and slammed the door shut. He then rested his forehead on the steering wheel and looked like he was going to cry. How did he get himself into this mess? What a disaster!

He flashed back to Sunday and remembered Roy opening up his locker to take back a shirt Johnny had borrowed, when he saw a furry alien fall out. After both paramedics had suffered a few fainting spells and moments of lost speech, everything seemed almost normal. Johnny had learned that the alien's name was Gordon Shumway and he had come from the planet Melmac. But, everybody called him A.L.F., for the letters in that particular name stood for Alien Life Form. Alf had settled on Earth with a small human family called the Tanners. Johnny had found out that the Tanners lived somewhere in Los Angeles, but their exact whereabouts were unknown. Alf had left his loving family when he heard a conversation between the mother and the father of the family. They were talking about what life would be like without their alien friend and how everything was so much better before Alf had come into their lives. Alf, his feelings being hurt, left the Tanner residence in search of a new home. He had traveled, unseen, through L.A. and had ended up somewhere in a low-income area. After believing he would starve, he wandered around aimlessly for hours, when he smelled the sweet fragrance of chocolate chip cookies. Unaware that the smell was coming from a nearby fire station, Alf followed the smell with what strength he had left. Finding the source of the sweet smell in a locker inside the fire station, Alf had closed himself in Johnny's locker and had begun to chow down on a box of chocolate chip cookies. He had only finished three quarters of the box when he was discovered by an unsuspecting paramedic, Roy DeSoto. So, Alf's journey had come to an end, as the alien himself believed. But Johnny Gage had other plans. There was no way he was going to have an extraterrestrial in his house, whether or not they were lonely.

"So, are we going by your place?" Alf asked, "I'm still hungry. I have eight stomachs you know. That's a lot of empty chambers to fill!" the alien persisted.

Johnny bolted his head up from the steering wheel and gave Alf a look of shock.

"You have eight stomachs?" he choked out in disbelief.

Alf nodded.

"Yeah, don't you?" he asked, cocking his head.

Johnny shook his head.

"Heck, no." he replied, thoughts of having eight stomachs rushing through his mind. He pushed the thoughts away and looked at the stubby alien.

He held Alf's gaze steadily, trying to think of what he was going to do next. His shift was going to end in an hour, so maybe he could figure out someway to smuggle Alf into his house.

Alf opened up the glove box and pulled out a few photographs.

He perked his ears up at them and quickly brushed through them.

"Oh, mama!" he exclaimed, "Who's that chick?" he asked, closely examining one of the photos. Johnny snatched the photographs away from Alf and shoved them back in the glove compartment. He slammed it shut, but it popped open again. He slammed it shut and once more, it fell open. This persisted for about ten seconds, when one last slam ended the battle.

Johnny huffed and rested his arms on the steering wheel. So far, this day had not gotten off to a good start. The two sat in the car until Johnny's shift had ended. It had been a slow but rough day. Johnny quickly made his way home, but not before making sure that Alf had buckled his seat belt. Johnny was silently thanking God that the firemen hadn't gotten any calls that morning, for the thought of leaving Alf unattended, sent chills down his spine.

It was dark when Johnny pulled up in the driveway of his small house. The street was tree-lined and looked like a part of a small town rather than a part of L.A. Alf was about to climb out of the car, but Johnny yanked him away from the door handle. He grabbed the sun-shade from the ceiling and bent it over the passenger's side window.

"Keep down! If my nosey neighbor Ms. Griswold sees you, she'll have a cow!" Johnny whispered. Alf shook his head in pity.

"You humans never fail to psych me everyday of my life. Today I learned that humans can give birth to cows!" Alf exclaimed.

"Shut up! Stop goofing around!" Johnny snapped at him. When Alf gave him a serious look of doubt, the paramedic had to explain further.

"I am serious about this lady. You can't even sneeze without her knowing! She never used to be like that, trust me. It all started after her husband died in a house fire three years ago. I can't imagine what her reaction is going to be when she sees me sneaking a full body bag into my house!" Alf shrugged as he picked up the body bag off the car floor. He slipped into it and started zipping it up.

"How about we switch places? I go into the body bag and you carry me in?" he suggested. Johnny widened his eyes.

"That was the original plan!" he said.

Alf raised his eyebrows. "Was it now?" he asked before zipping the bag up all the way. Johnny looked through the passenger's side to window to catch a glimpse of Ms. Griswold's house. No lights were on; but that didn't guarantee she wasn't watching him. He took in a deep breath and got out of the car with the heavy body bag. He was in the process of walking up his front steps with it, when he heard a scorning voice behind him.

"Mr. Gage!" the accusation was spat out. Johnny turned around with an expression as though he had stepped on a really sharp nail. There at the bottom of his front steps, stood Ms. Griswold, crossing her arms. She was wearing her hair curlers and was in her bathrobe and bunny slippers.

"What have I told you about parking your fancy-shmancy sports car all crooked like that? It makes this neighborhood look like a mad drunk lives here!" she scorned.

Her wrinkled face was even more unflattering now, with her eyebrows creased in an unforgiving scowl.

Yes mother! Johnny thought to himself. With an overly sweet smile, he kindly acknowledged his nosey neighbor.

"I'm terribly sorry, Ms. Griswold," he apologized, every word being dragged out of him. "I'll make sure to re-position it in the morning. I was just in a hurry to get to bed."

Ms. Griswold grunted in response. Just as Johnny was turning around to finish walking up the steps, she pressed him with a suspicious question.

"Another thing," she started, her voice sounding very authoritative, "I don't mean to pry, but…what's that you're carrying?"

Johnny went slack-jawed and darted his eyes back in forth, frantically trying to think of a logical response.

"It's uh…my guitar case! That's it! It's my guitar case!" he replied.

Ms. Griswold looked unconvinced.

"What's in the case?" she questioned.

Johnny wanted to roll his eyes, but he didn't want to be disrespectful.

"A guitar." he said curtly.

Ms. Griswold raised an eyebrow, her arms still crossed. "Finally decided to take up music, I see. At least you've shown me you're not entirely uncultured."

With that, she turned on her heel and trudged back to her house.

Johnny made sure she was in her house before he ran through his front door. When he was in, he slammed the door behind him and leaned up against it. When he had recovered from his shock and his hands stopped shaking, he put the body bag down and quickly unzipped it. Alf sat up and coughed.

"I thought I was going to run out of air!" he choked.

Johnny helped Alf stand up and then folded up the body bag. He pulled back the curtain from his living room window with one finger, making sure that there was no sign of his annoying neighbor.

"Hey! You didn't tell me you had a really big casserole dish!" Alf called from the kitchen. Johnny widened his eyes and ran into the kitchen he skidded to a halt when he saw Alf preheating the oven.

"What hell are you doing?" Johnny demanded. Alf got down off the stool he was sitting on to lean over and preheat the oven. He grabbed the stool once he was off of it and put it back where it was. Johnny frowned and followed Alf.

"I asked you a question!" he insisted.

Alf got down on his hands and knees and started looking under the table in the dining room. He continued to ignore Johnny's requests.

"You have cat toys on your floor." Alf observed quietly.

Johnny crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, giving Alf a dubious look. "Yes, well…I own two cats." he muttered. Alf perked his ears up and rubbed his furry paws together.

"Are they here? Right now?" he asked, excitement bubbling up inside of him.

Johnny gave a noncommittal grunt and sat down at the dining room table.

"Yeah. They're around somewhere. Probably upstairs, on my bed. That's where they usually are." he said, taking no notice of Alf quickly scurrying through the living room, towards the staircase. Johnny tilted his head to see where Alf was going. "Alf?" he called. When the alien didn't respond, Johnny quickly got up out of his chair and ran up his stairs. He was bowled over by a blur of light brown fur and fell back down the stairs. "What the…?" he trailed off, looking around to see what had run him over. He heard some excited giggling in the kitchen and instantly got up.

"Alf? Was that you?" Johnny called. He walked into the kitchen and gasped.

There, on the kitchen floor, was Alf, kneeling down and trying to get two tabby cats to sit in a glass casserole dish. Johnny was too shocked to move. Did this alien eat cats? Alf quickly picked up the casserole dish and waddled over to the oven. He shoved the glass dish onto the bottom rack and quickly slammed the oven door. Johnny lunged forward and knocked Alf over. He opened up the oven door, only to have the two tabby cats jump forward and claw him. Once he managed to pry the writhing, screeching mass of fur off his face, he sat up and gave Alf a look of hatred.

"What did you think you were doing?" he asked, getting to his feet and clenching his fists. The temptation to strangle Alf was overwhelming his senses. Surely no one would hear a muffled scream in the night? It would be over with quick. A twist of the head and the snap of bone would be all he needed. Johnny shook his head to clear it of such awful thoughts.

"I was making supper!" Alf said. He was honestly unaware that he had done anything wrong.

"Supper?" Johnny shouted, "You were putting my cats in a casserole dish!"

Alf looked infuriated. "Well, sorry to pop your dome of polluted air, but they wouldn't fit in the toaster! I bet you're one of those hippies who don't take baths and only buy bagels for they're stupid bagel toasters! How do you expect me to fit a cat in a bagel toaster? I can't do everything you know!" he snapped back at the angry paramedic.

Johnny was utterly taken aback by Alf's outlandish explanation and reached down to grasp the alien. He grabbed a wad full of the furry creature's chest fur and pulled him close to yell at him.

To his surprise, Alf yelped and jumped back, clutching his chest.

"Pervert!" he screeched. He then pretended to pick up an invisible skirt and ran up the stairs. Johnny stood up straight and screwed up his nose. This alien also had a sense of humor. He relaxed a little and let all his thoughts of murdering the alien drain away. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, living with Alf, once he had trained him not to eat the cats. Perhaps Alf would get sick of him and go live with somebody else. Yes…that would be nice. It wasn't like he was staying with him forever. Johnny then thought, I least I hope not.