[A/N]: Because tsunderes make Erza crazier than they make me. And I definitely think that our dear Titania can't hold her liquor.

Inspired by the last Chapter of MildlyMoonstruck's 'A Measure of Time'.

Gray wasn't quite sure how he ended up drinking with Evergreen and Erza, the literal embodiment of 'fairies' themselves. To her credit, Evergreen wasn't bitching at Erza about how much prettier, stronger, and smarter she was.

Gray was fairly certain that he had been drinking with Natsu, Lucy, and the Titania when the party began, but the blonde and pinkhead had disappeared (let's be honest, though, they were probably making out in the broom closet). Neither the ravenhead nor the redhead had felt like joining in the brawl that Elfman had started, seemingly over Jet insulting his manliness, something no one had done since his impressive win against Bacchus in the Daimatou Enbu. The man had climbed up from his table, dragging the rest of the Raijinshuu into the fight, all but Evergreen, who had sighed, glared daggers at the fray, and plopped herself down beside Gray. She ignored his curious glance, saying only, "I'm not about to sit by myself."

So they drank in silence, watching with faint amusement as Jet missed and slammed himself into the wall, just over Juvia's head. The rain woman yelped and ducked.

Erza, never good at holding her liquor, suddenly slammed down her beer and her tablemates glanced at her in shock. She pointed a shaky finger at Gray. "You fucking tsundere."

Gray blinked, unsure of how to react, and opted for staring at her with his mouth wide open. Evergreen, on the other hand, paused for only a moment, and then snorted inelegantly. The redhead turned on her. "Don't laugh, you're even worse."

Evergreen's grin slipped, aghast. "Excuse me?"

Erza threw her hands in the air. "You're both so fucking tsundere, it's physically painful to watch you!"

"How am I tsundere?" Evergreen sniffed, looking offended.

"Yeah, where the hell is this even coming from?" Gray agreed.

Erza waved in the general vicinity of the brawl. "I think I saw Juvia over there somewhere."

"Okay, that I get, by why me?" Evergreen cut in, over Gray's indignant protest.

"Because you're the definition of tsundere!" Erza exclaimed, exasperated. She swayed in her seat a little bit as she slammed her fist on the table. "You both are so stupid."

"What makes you think I'm tsundere?" Evergreen demanded, fed up with Erza's inadvertent dodging of her questions.

Erza pointed again at the brawl. "Elfman."

"I don't like him, you idiot!"

Erza nodded sagely. "See what I mean?" She sipped her drink, looking pleased with herself. "Textbook tsundere."

"I─no, what─we're not together!"

"Which is why you're a fucking tsundere."

Evergreen reddened, while Gray sat back in his seat and prayed that the Titania didn't turn back to him.

"You liiiiike him," Erza affirmed childishly.

"I do not! Why would I like that big, stupid oaf?!"

"'Member what you told Mirajane on Tenrou?" asked Erza smugly.

"That has nothing to do with my feelings─rather, lack thereof─for that idiot! We needed to beat her!"

"There were plenty of other things you could've told her to catch her off guard," Erza pointed out. She grinned. "Plus, he's the only one outside of the Raijinshuu that is 'allowed' to call you Ever."

"That's─that's not─it doesn't mean I like him, you drunk idiot!"

Erza rubbed her temples. "Uuugggghhhhhhh, are you as annoying to yourself as you are to me? God fucking damn, you're tsundere about being tsundere." She glared at the brunette. "Elfman can't keep his eyes off you, you know that? And it's not like you're any better!"

Evergreen hunched her shoulders sullenly. "I don't like him," she muttered.

"Shut the fuck up," Erza shot back tiredly. She pushed herself to her feet, albeit unsteadily, and approached the brawl. Gray and Evergreen watched in silence as she casually reached in, snagged Elfman by his collar and forcefully dragged him back to their table. Evergreen stiffened, but instead of plopping the man down, Erza grabbed the brunette's arm and yanked both of them toward the broom closet. The Titania briefly released Elfman, and threw open the door.

Ignoring what the pair were doing, Erza kicked Natsu and Lucy out and shoved Elfman into the closet, recapturing Evergreen as the fairy tried to flee, and hurled her in as well. The Titania slammed the door, locked it, and yelled, "If I come back and you haven't gotten over your case of fucking tsundere, you'll both have some explaining to do!"

She stomped back to Gray's table and sat down in a huff. The ravenhead held his breath as she took an absentminded sip of her beer.

It took Erza a long moment to realize he was there. She blinked and sat up straighter. "And you," she continued as if nothing had interrupted them, "didn't I tell you once already to suck it up and tell her how you feel?"

"But─I don't─"

Erza sighed through her nose angrily. "Do you think she's pretty?"

"What sort of question is that?"

"You will answer every question I ask or so help me god," Erza flared. "Do. You. Think. Juvia. Is. Pretty?"

"Okay, fine! Yes!"

"Do you like seeing her smile?"

Gray hesitated, flinching as she jabbed a finger at him imperiously. "Yeah."

"Now think about her. Think very, very hard about her. Not how you feel, just...think about Juvia Lockser."

Sighing, the ravenhead obeyed, his eyes sliding closed. And he thought about her, about that strange rain woman, Juvia Lockser, about her smile and her cooking. He thought of every time she had laid her life on the line for him, and his stomach twisted as his mind flickered through every injury she had gotten trying to defend him. Gray thought of the delight on her face when she had joined the guild, the determination in her stance as she had defended Gajeel, and his stomach tied itself into a new knot.

He remembered their collaboration during the Fantasia parade, the pure joy in her eyes when he had asked her to be his partner. The soft swish of her dress as they conjured their ice palace and fountains, the subtle (and often, not-so-subtle) glances she never stopped shooting his way.

Their Unison Raid. The undying faith for him that she held in her heart. The smile that he never wanted to leave her face. He could recall her features with near-perfect clarity, the look in her eyes when she had seen the blue sky for the very first time. He could still feel the warmth of the sun as it shone down on them.

Erza hmphed triumphantly. "Toldja."

Gray's eyes snapped open. "What?" He realized belatedly that the warmth he had remembered was really a furious blush, and that he was smiling like an idiot. "Oh, shit."

Erza sat back in her chair. "Well?"

He fought off that smile with some difficulty, trying to reclaim to cool stoic expression he usually wore. "Well, what?"

Erza reached over and cuffed him. "There's that goddamned tsundere again!" she exploded. "Get your ass up there and talk to her!"

Gray shifted in his seat, looking down at his drink, and said nothing. Yet another knot tied itself in his stomach. Erza sighed again and grabbed his arm. She hauled him to his feet and he didn't fight as she dragged him over to Juvia's table, where the poor rain woman sat by herself.

"Erza-san, what─"

"This fucking tsundere has something he'd like to tell you," Erza said loudly, putting the Ice-Make wizard between herself and Juvia.

Gray rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Um. Hey."

Juvia's face flooded with color at the sound of his voice. "H-hello, Gray-sama," she mumbled.

Erza kicked Gray on the back of his knees and he buckled, falling hard onto the chair the redhead held, and she shoved him next to Juvia. "Talk it out, tsundere," she whispered in his ear, straightening and crossing her arms.

Gray's face felt like it was on fire. "Um," he repeated stupidly, glancing over at Juvia's wide, confused sapphire eyes. He could feel Erza's drunken glare boring into the back of his neck. "Do you mind?" he snapped at his teammate. He shrank before her fierce glare, but the Titania sauntered back to the bar for another drink.

Knowing she would return and make this infinitely more difficult for him, the ravenhead turned back to the puzzled water mage, belatedly realizing that Erza had sat him very close to the bluenette. "Juvia."

"Yes, Gray-sama?" she whispered, her face as red as Gray knew his own must be.

His mouth opened and closed before he managed, "I like your dress."

Juvia gaped, flushing deeper. "J-Juvia begs your pardon, Gray-sama?"

He dropped his forehead onto the table with a dull thump and a groan. "G-Gray-sama?" Juvia asked uncertainly.

I'm such an idiot. "Can I start over?"

"Start what over, Gray-sama?"

He lifted his head and glanced at her again, his unsettled stomach twisting again at the unguarded look in her gorgeous eyes. "Um─"

Erza chose that moment to return. She took one look at the mortified ice mage and facepalmed. "Okay, I got this," she muttered. She leaned over and whispered something to the ice mage.

He paled. "What?!"

"Shut up and do it, you fucking tsundere!"

"Stop calling me that!" She glared him into subsiding and Gray sighed. Beneath the terrifying gaze of the Titania, he obeyed her whispered instruction, hesitantly turning back to Juvia and quickly kissing her cheek.

The rain woman looked shocked, and her form quivered, threatening to spill into a puddle of water. "G-G-G-G-Gray-sama?!"

He drummed the table quickly, not meeting her eyes and blushing furiously. "Um."

"Step two, Gray," Erza commanded dangerously. She put her hand on her hip and took a swig of beer.

"I hate it when you drink," Gray moaned.

"Step. Two."

Gray glanced at Juvia and mumbled something. "Louder, tsundere!" Erza declared. Mira finally noticed the ice mage's plight and hurried over to distract the redhead.

Juvia refused to meet his gaze, steam practically rising from the blush on her cheeks. Gray stared at the table in silent mortification─holy shit what am I doing I'm gonna fuck it up─

"I wonder how Evergreen and Elfman are doing?" he heard Erza yell over Mirajane's quiet voice.

The barmaid froze and stared as Erza tromped over to the broom closet and yanked open the door. Mirajane couldn't see inside, but she watched Erza duck a blast of what appeared to be Evergreen's Fairy Bullets with a smug look on her booze-reddened face. "Erza?" Mirajane asked weakly.

"He's broken the tsunderezone!" Erza yelled in triumph, slamming the door again and raising her fists victoriously. She glanced at Mirajane owlishly. "You know, it's like the friendzone, but with tsunderes."

She returned to Gray's side and grabbed him by the hair, lifting his blushing face off the table and ignoring his ow ow ow ow ow. "This is another tsundere," she explained to Mirajane matter-of-factly. She glanced at Juvia. "And his yandere." Juvia blushed again, but looked concerned for Gray's scalp.

"Erza, let's just let them be," Mirajane said faintly, her eyes flickering again and again to the broom closet. Had the redhead said her brother was in there?!

Erza shook her head firmly. "No way. Not until Juvia's broken the tsunderezone too, and I'm not about to kick Elf and Ever out of the closet for these idiots."

"Erza-san," Juvia whispered, "Juvia doesn't think it works that way."

The redhead and ravenhead turned to stare at her, though Erza still kept a firm grip on Gray's hair. "What are you talking about?" Erza asked, tilting her head to the side.

Juvia flushed and knotted her fingers, looking down. "Doesn't one have to-to like someone to be tsundere?"

The pair continued to gape at the rain woman. "What the hell are you talking about?" Gray managed finally.

"W-well, in-in order to be tsundere, one h-has to have a crush, correct?" Juvia stammered.

Erza shook the fist holding Gray, ignoring his yelp of pain. "Exactly," she replied excitedly.

Juvia's eyes widened. "Gray-sama?" she whispered. "But, Gray-sama, he doesn't─"

"Oh, god she's being tsundere for you," Erza groaned. She took her hand from Gray's hair and covered her eyes in exasperation. "Both you just shut up and kiss already."

Juvia shrank and looked back down at her hands. "Cut it out!" Gray exclaimed, drawing her azure gaze back up to him. "I know what you're thinking, Juvia, and you're wrong!"

"Wh-what?"

"Whether or not you deserve someone has nothing─it's a complete non-issue!" he continued heatedly. "That someone has the right to decide for themselves whether or not they deserve to be with you!"

The rain woman couldn't find any words. The look in Gray's eyes kept her silent; he looked more serious than she'd ever seen him, and flustered at the same time. She realized how close he'd gotten during his speech and couldn't stop herself from glancing down at her shaking hands.

Gray, too, seemed to realize how close he was, for his eyes widened. But he didn't draw back. "Juvia, look at me," he said softly. She obeyed tentatively, holding his intense gaze. "You might think you're worthless, but believe me, you're not. You're priceless."

Juvia tried to look away, she really did. This was too much for her. "Gray-sama," she whispered.

Before she even registered movement, Gray leaned in and captured her mouth. Juvia nearly melted, distantly registering Erza's triumphant yell. One of Gray's cool hands snaked up to cup the back of her head, and she hesitantly reached up to grab his collar, pulling him closer.

The rest of the guild cheered; Erza did a victory dance. She decided she like fixing her idiot friends' problems.

Who would be her next victim?

[A/N]: I don't want to confuse anyone with that ending, this is a oneshot. xD Mostly cause I can't think of anything for Meganekko Levy. And no, I'm not going to tell you what was going on in the broom closet.

Review please! :)