Jed has given him a day off. 'Go ahead, John,' he said, 'Take today off, have a long weekend. You had a tough week.' A tough week. No kidding. Wednesday, Wednesday was the worst of them all, the day John went over to their hideout, burst in on them with his squad and fought not with them, but with his own emotions. He remembers Stephen's gruff, 'John, John what are you doing?' and Russell's 'Hey buddy, how you-whoa, what you doing with that- and WHY ARE YOU POINTING IT AT ME?' and most of all of the girl, Cara's soft voice, the pain that was so clear in her eyes, 'John? What has he done to you?' He being Jed. All of them were convinced that Jed was using John, 'This wouldn't be the first time' Stephen added. And in the end John did the only thing he could, he teleported outta there.

He remembers this as he enters a Subway train. He's not sure which one it is, but it doesn't matter to him. He likes trains, really. They make him feel human. For a while, it's like he's one of the other passengers, thinking only about what to make for dinner or what assignments to complete, and not worrying about surviving. Surviving, that's what his life is, it's only about survival. And Jed says he's a homo superior. For all John cares, his 'kind' might as well go live in the jungles. They'd fit in there, what with all the killing and fighting. Survival of the fittest. 'But you ARE the fittest, John' Jed told him once. Oh, Jed.

With every stop, more people pour in. The crowd inside the train thickens continuously. John wonders at which stop he should get off. Where would he end up? He scans the Subway. There are so many people standing. Maybe he should leave. The next stop is not far off. He gets up, makes his way to the door. The metallic doors open, and before he can get out, a crush of people come in. Oh boy, this would take some time. John grabs hold of the bar on top and sighs. It's good that he has no particular destination.

It's at the next stop that she comes in. John is still standing by the door when the ordinary rush of people enters the train, and among them is a pretty teen girl with crazy curly hair. He looks up to see the crowd, and he catches her eye. His heart starts to thud unnaturally fast. It's as if someone has punched him between his eyes, or a heavy block has slammed into his chest. He knows this girl, he knows her, he knows her, he knows her. The realization is an immensely strong one, and John doesn't even realize that he's holding his breath. Apparently, so is she. He sees the fear written all over her face. She knows him too, it's so obvious, all so obvious, and he has to go near her and talk to her, because he recognizes someone, he recognizes someone and – And then she turns away. Wait. Why?

Without consciously deciding to, John puts out his mindreading senses and slips into her thoughts easy. He can feel her fear and hears one word again and again. John. JohnJohnJohnJohnJohn. He feels a thrill of excitement that's his own. He has to talk to her, he has to. He's so close, so close to his past. And then he hears something else. The girl is thinking of someone else. Stephen, her thoughts scream, Stephen pick up!

Stephen. The black haired boy who was with Russell and Cara. Stephen. No. And then John is pushing through the crowd, desperate to get to the other side of the train, because, this girl must not contact Stephen. After a lot of pushing and a fair bit of cursing, he's right behind her, and he can hear her say to her silver phone, 'Stephen. Stephen, where are you?' He's not picking up. Thank God. And using his telepathic senses, he commands the phone to leave its owner, and slip right into his hand, which it does. Good phone. The girl turns around bewildered, startled by the sudden disappearance of The Flying Phone.

She's beautiful. There's really no other word for it, and John seizes the opportunity to admire her while she continues to look startled. 'John?' she says, and looks up at him disbelievingly. He looks down at her, at her corkscrews and doe eyes. 'Yeah, it's me.' 'What are you doing here?' Her eyes are wide, and so brown, like chocolate. 'I…I know you.' And it's not a proper answer but that's all he really needs to say, that's the message he wants to get across.

The girl gasps, 'You remember?'

'Yeah, you and-and the metro, you were showing me something and-'

'You remember.' It's a statement this time, and the disbelief on her face has been dispelled by hope, pure as the morning dew. How's that for poetry?

The girl starts again. Ugh, why 'the girl'? But try as he might, John can't remember her name. Not just yet, anyhow. 'John, if you remember, then maybe, maybe the others can help. You've got to come with us, if I can call Stephen…'

'No.' John is firm on that, so very firm, 'The last time we met it was a fiasco, A- ' her name is on the tip of his tongue, but he loses it, 'And if that was to repeat again…'

'But it won't, John! It won't! They'll help you. We all will. Please.'

'No. you don't know what happened…'

'Yes I do. You didn't recognize Stephen or Russell. You didn't even recognize Cara' Cara's name is said with some weight, with emphasis, the same way Jed said it when he asked John if he recognized her. Cara. No, Cara. Cara, John decides, is a name that would always be italicized. Cara.

'It's OK, A-,' and he almost gets the name, before it vanishes once more.

She realizes. 'You don't remember my name…'

'I-No, I don't' and he feels so foolish when he sees her face fall, 'But I will remember it. I'll remember you too.'

Despite his promise, she continues to look crestfallen, and he wonders if there were other promises he made and broke. 'Hey,' he reaches for her hand instinctively, wishing to comfort her. Her hand is small and warm and fits perfectly in his.

'Are you busy right now?' John asks, and the girl looks up, alarmed.

'Why?'

'Because if you are not, then you can just tell your parents you were out with a friend, and that's why you came home late. But if you are busy, then we'll have to tweak the truth a bit. Say, you were hanging out with the President of Chile, or something.'

The girl –ugh, what was her name?-raises her eyebrows, 'What are you talking about John? The Prez of Chile? And coming home late?'

'Well' John says, as snippets of his previous conversation came back to him, 'Weren't you supposed to show me topside New York?'

And so she does. They sit outside a café eating ice cream. John asks her to talk to him about something, anything. She tells him about her school life, about the teachers and her friends, mainly Stephen. And out of the blue, John finds himself asking, 'Do you have feelings for Stephen?' She looks at him, hard. 'Well…' And his heart thuds, 'No. Not anymore.' This reply makes him a lot happier than it should.

'Has he got any girlfriend? Seems like a chick-magnet to me.'

The beautiful girl snorts, 'Phht, he's a dork. But yeah, there was this girl named Hillary. An Ultra agent. They were together, but she died.'

John's surprised, 'What about Cara?'

She looks at him uneasily, 'Well, they have a connection. But she's your girl. You two have known each other for a long time, and have loved each other, and even though things were kind of rocky-'

He cuts in, 'Tell me about YOU, just you. What are your favorite subjects?' Because he doesn't want to hear about Cara and her connection to Stephen, and their rocky relationship. John only wants to hear about Astrid.

'Well, Biology, maybe. I like Lit a lot too.'

'Do you do poetry?'

She laughs, 'Hardly. I like reading, but I'm not much of a poet.'

John suddenly recalls something, 'No. But you're a singer, aren't you? You want to sing at Carnegie Hall, and you want to learn Ethiopian-' 'No, Japanese' She cuts in. John continues, 'And you want to learn how to surf, and you want three kids. Your bucket list.'

She beams at him. Why can't he remember her name?

'I didn't have a bucket list, did I?' he asks.

'You said you were so focused on survival…'

'Yeah. Surviving, not living. It sucks to live that way, but survival does teach you a few things. It teaches you to make drastic choices, and it teaches you to take days off very seriously, and it kinda makes you take pretty girls to ice cream shops even before dinner…'

'Dinner?' She's surprised.

'I didn't mention that, did I? Voudriez-vous diner avec moi?' John flashes the little French he knows, and offers her his hand.

Astrid (yes! he remembers!) laughs and takes his hand, 'There's only one French word I know, oui.'

John grins. He loves that the French word for yes sounds so much like the English we. It makes him feel like he's not alone, like they're there for each other no matter what, like they're together. Like how they always have been.

Dinner ends up being at a cheesy burger place.

Astrid laughs at this and says, 'I don't mind cheesy burgers.' They get a table and the food fast. The stuff is all right, and by the second bite it's obvious to John that Astrid is exhausted.

'Sorry' she says as she yawns again, 'just stayed up late last night. Really late.' She looks so adorable like this, and John suddenly has to fight a terrible urge to kiss her.

'All right, let's get you home.'

About half an hour later, they sneak off to a side street so that no one can see them teleport. A moment later, they are standing on the balcony outside Astrid's bedroom.

'Hey, nice house!' John comments, looking around.

'Honestly, John, can't you think of anything else to say when you come here?'

John just grins and looks at the pink sky.

'John, what if this is the last time I see you? If you won't come back…' And the topic is back.

He looks at her, 'Astrid, I can't.'

'Why?'

'Because I'm not ready for it. The fight on Wednesday was really messy. I know Russell and Cara are my friends. Stephen too. But Jed is like a father to me. I remember that as well. In fact, I was supposed to recruit Cara, but the whole plan backfired. I care about both sides, all of the people. But Cara doesn't believe in Jed's version of 'right'.'He feels good to let it out. To just tell someone the dilemma that's been going on in his head and heart.

'What do you believe?'

John puts his palms together and closes his eyes and hums, 'Universal peace.'

Astrid laughs despite herself, 'All right Mr. Monk. But honestly, what do you want to do?'

'What do you think I should do?'

'Take a leap of faith and do what your gut tells you. Because if there is one thing I know John Young, it's that your gut usually tells you something, and that something is usually right.'

John feels a sudden rush of affection for Astrid, it is marvelous how she holds no expectations from him. How she wants him to do what he feels is right and not what she wants.

'OK,' And he has made up his mind. He had, long ago, 'OK, just not today.'

Astrid smiles, and then yawns. She's so cute, so cute, and he leans over and kisses her.

'I'll come back'

"And I'll be waiting.'