Hey! I am not going to apologize for my being late at this..I want to, but I refuse to sound like a broken record! It's just that that life thing gets crazy, all I do is work, work, work..I end up not having time for the things I love AKA writing this.

October is a crazy time for me! September 25th - November 13th is when I work at a haunted house, plus I do full time at my job, and I am a makeup artist so I had zero free time. Which is why it took so long to get back to this! I'm not complaining, just informing. Haha figured I'd at least try to explain my lack of posting..and I just want this fic to be the best it could be, I don't want to settle for a bad chapter just to get something out, I'd rather take a while for my muse to come back to me and develop it the way it should be!

Okay! I'm done babbling, but I want to give a HUGE shout out to Sleeplessinrio his/her review made my day and made me antsy to write more..got my muse going again! So this one goes to you!

Hershel POV

I heard the familiar rumble of the truck much sooner than I thought I would. Not that I'm surprised. Shane and Rick are too similar a person, two sides of the same coin, they had to have a conversation sooner or later..that's why I insisted shane ride with him on the run for supplies, plenty of time to talk. I did have hope that they may settle the one sided frustration that Rick, understandably has, but the sound of the truck so soon tells me something went wrong. I just pray that Shane isn't beat to a pulp.

Looking across the yard I notice my wife and son..looking at them breaks my heart. I know that they won't make it, I know the sickness overtakes them without an opportunity to fight against the invisible enemy slowly killing them now. They both go into a fever, they will fall into a sleep they won't wake up from, that's when we would have put them in the barn, but this time I know, there is no recovery, there is no cure. So instead of being sad, or telling them, I will enjoy the time I have with my whole family for as long as I can and when the time comes I will be the one to make sure they don't wake up a monster.

I also see Carol just watching as Sophia plays, she will be a hard one to pin, Carol has changed so drastically since the loss of her daughter, she's become harder and I know anything that needs to be done to keep Sophia safe will done without hesitation..whether that is good or bad we will just wait and find out.

The old truck is puttering up the drive and pulling in the yard, when I see the boys get out they all have a different expression. Shane gets out and he seems numb, he isn't wounded, but his expression is one of deep reflection and thought. Then a glance at Daryl shows something much more interesting. He will not look at anyone in the eye but when Rick isn't looking Daryl keeps his eyes on the man, almost like he is studying him, but will drop his eyes any moment he thinks someone is looking in his direction. Rick, on the other hand, is looking at nobody, he is on edge and I can tell he told Shane something, and going by his demeanor, probably told him a bit more than planned. It's curious to see, but when Daryl and Rick go around to the truck bed my attention snaps away from their faces and onto the walkers piled there as they start to pull them out, when Shane joins them and before they can get more than one out I walk the short distance to the three of them and say, "Boys I think it'd be a better idea to do this out behind the farm a distance away, burn them out there."

Rick nodded for a moment and they loaded the body back on the truck, before they got back in he called out, "Those of you who have no memories of before, please come over by the truck. Carol if you could carry Sophia inside for a while I think that'd be best." With that the entire group walks over, including those of us who have memories. Carol walks over as well, bringing Sophia along, "Rick I think she needs to see them too, she has to learn not to be afraid." She looks at Sophia and smiled a sad smile, "Honey, this is going to be scary, but you have to be strong."

Shane is still in a sense of limbo, nothing is really catching his attention other than a glance here and there to Rick and Daryl. That is until Lori walks over and covers her mouth quickly and turns away. He initially goes to help her, but freezes immediately with a glance towards Rick who is staying put and talking in hushed tones to Carl. It is strange to see such a strong reaction to walkers like the memory-less show, it is such commonplace now to see dead bodies that I forget it may be disturbing young Sophia is in shock, she is pale and looking at these people that aren't people with tears in her eyes, Carol bends down and starts to talk to her in hushed tones explaining that they aren't people, that they will kill her just as soon as look at her and that she needs to be brave. Sophia nods through her tears and shaking hands and Carol hugs her tightly walking back in the house with her.

"Rick, why exactly do you have dead bodies in the truck bed? Did you kill these people? Why?! And why would you show a child this?" Lori's voice was getting more and more panicked as her rambling continued, her face full of disgust, but with a hand up by Rick he explained,

"Lori..these were not people, yes we did kill them, but there was a wreck up the road from where we stopped," Rick was now explaining to everyone, not just Lori, "We drove up immediately and saw a walker eating one of the paramedics, the driver was hanging out, and the two men in the back were turned too. I'm guessing the patient was a quick turn and nobody expects a body to hop back up and start biting. Now the reason I called you over was this: it seems that my warnings earlier weren't enough for some people," He said this with a pointed look at Shane, "When people die they come back, no ifs ands or buts, when someone dies you have to make sure the brain is pierced. It doesn't matter if they are a walker yet, they will be. You have to understand this, you have to get used to this. The walkers are dangerous..people can die at any time in this world...now I'm not trying to scare you, I just want you prepared...the walkers are dangerous, but people, living people are the worst enemy you will find. Get used to seeing this, get used to the idea of these coming after you, know the sounds, know the strength..," Lori is looking at the scene horrified and quite possibly more disgusted than before, but the whole group who has been in this world, they are nodding, we are nodding..there is no escaping the world, you just have to get used to it. "Another note, do not trust anyone..trust is earned not given. I look around at the people beside me, Hershel, Carol, Daryl..none of us really got along..Daryl tried to stab me, with good reason, however." Rick said this with a small smile and his smile continued with his next statement, "Hershel would have much rather stabbed me than put up with me and my group..but now I trust these men, this group with my life, with Carl and Judith's life. So get used to the world, you can't outrun it, you have to be ready."

With that statement I looked around and Lori looked drained, pale, and scared to death. Rick glanced over to Carl then to Daryl with two nods they were getting in the truck..the interesting thing about this is the light flush going across Rick's face. Something happened and I'm curious to see how it plays out, I won't push for answers..I know they don't have them yet, they probably don't even know what exactly is happening..but I have seen this before and they deserve it, only if they realize what exactly they do deserve.

When Daryl and Rick jump in the truck, Carl clambers up into the trunk bed with the walkers, and I know Lori is close to passing out. I understand she isn't used to seeing her son so grown up, so prepared for the world..I can think back to the first time I saw Carl..bloodied and limp from being shot..he was so very small and fragile..but this Carl is stronger, braver, but we still have to keep an eye his way. Children growing up in this time have the perfect excuse to get hard and not open up to the small joys life brings, get so hard there's no hesitation to kill anyone, no matter who. That can't happen, we can't let it happen. His time at the prison has made him quite a bit more himself, from before. But he will never be the same, none of us will.

LORI POV

This can't be happening..this can't be happening. I don't know what problem to focus on first..I feel like I could be two seconds from exploding, or just breaking down into a mess of tears. I can't choose a problem to focus on. How could the world get that bad? How could that be real? People not dying..just getting up and walking away, and why is it so bad..they probably move super slow..they do call them walkers..it should be easy to kill them. I don't know..my son, he is different, he has grown up so fast, he carries a gun, he does things like dispose of bodies...who would let children do that? Rick...he doesn't feel like my husband anymore, I've only spoken to him once or twice, he is harder and the trip for supplies didn't go far, but Shane….where is Shane? I look around the yard for Shane and I see him in the tree line sitting on a log that fell over, he looks seriously disturbed. Maybe he got answers..but if that is his reaction to the answers I'm not sure I want to know.

Against my better judgement, and to be a good friend I make my way over to Shane and sit beside him on the small log when I do he looks over then stands up quickly, glancing around for someone, not sure who but when he notices Rick, Daryl, and Carl in the far field he sits down beside me, as far away as the log permits, he straddles the log so he can look at me and I look over and just look at him. He seems part afraid, surprised, and just overall stressed out. We just look at each other for a bit before I break the silence, "Shane what happened when you left? You look awful." I hear Shane snort and shake his head.

"Lori I don't think I should be the one to tell you exactly what he told me, but part of it does concern you. So you and Rick need to talk."

I start to shake my head, "What could be so bad you look like this and Rick won't talk to me? Are you and Rick okay?"

"It is bad, something I wish I didn't know..but I do now..I have to live with that, but I don't think me an' Rick will be okay Lori, he doesn't trust me anymore. If what he told me is true then I don't blame him. How about this, I will go talk to the old man, he seems to know quite a bit, you go talk to Rick, get the answers for yourself."

"Okay Shane, okay." I go to give him a hug before I stand up, but he shrugs out of my arm and stalks up the hill towards Hershel.

I watch for a moment, still waiting for Rick to get back and I see Hershel sit down with Shane, I see them talking and Shane gestures over to me and Hershel nods, Shane shakes his head but looks up and asks another question, another shake, I could almost hear a how could he? on the wind, but that is when Hershel shook his head and pointed to the big barn, and a shed further out back, this was a longer story that I didn't get to finish because I saw Rick driving up and with a glance to the field I paled at the sight of a pile of bodies on fire.

I walk up to the trio and saw them all laughing at some joke I wasn't there for, how they could laugh after doing what they did is something I won't know. Instead of dwelling on how messed up this still is I make my way over to Rick, "Rick we need to talk."

When Rick looks at me, he seems reluctant, "Lori I, I don't know.." He rubs a hand down his face shaking his head slightly but before I could say anything Daryl puts a hand on Carl's shoulder and nods at Rick. Rick gives a grueling nod back and says a quick, "Alright, let's talk."

I nod and go to grab his hand, when I do he tenses up and I sadly let go. I look at him and he just looks straight ahead.

We get to the log again and I glance around, wondering where to start and gaining some courage, I see Hershel with his family, Carol with Sophia, Carl with Judith, Daryl waiting by the corner of the house very much 'not paying attention to us', I finally look back at Rick, he was supposed to be my rock, instead he is cold as ice. "What did you talk to Shane about? He wouldn't talk to me but he was digesting some serious knowledge. And Why is Carl so different? Carrying a gun? And why won't you look at me or talk to me?!" I couldn't keep my temper in check towards the end and raised my voice. I just shook my head and waited.

"I talked about Carl already, Lori, he isn't the only one who has had to grow up so fast, you don't know what we've been through, we lost you. I lost you. I can't look at you, I can't think about you..I mourned you I managed to keep my sanity when I lost you and now you are here and I don't know what to say. Lori there is stuff that happened..things I have reason to not trust you, that you. But you haven't done any of those things yet so I can't hate you...but I still don't trust that you Lori, we fell out of love over that time..I'll always love you, but I'm not in love with you. I don't know how else to say that or explain it. That's part of the things I told Shane to make him like this. He needed to know."

This can't be happening. My husband is breaking up with me? Is this an actual thing that happens..can he do this? I feel my eyes burning and my throat closing up, but I manage to get out, "I need to know."

I see him shake his head but I just repeat with the same flat tone, "I need to know."

"Lori..when I got shot I was in the hospital, I don't really remember how long. When I woke up I was in a hospital gown, but somehow I made my way to the house without gettin' bit. I looked around and you'd gotten all the pictures, I knew you were alive. By some twist of fate I found you two, you and Carl, Shane was there too, he saved you two after he left me in the hospital because he though I had died, and when I and once I found you life was hard, but good. It turns out, I found this out the hard way, that while I was in a coma and making my way to you, you and shane were having an affair. You betrayed my trust with my best friend." I couldn't think of anyting to say, but I opened my mouth to say something, but Rick held up his hand, "Nah you wanted the whole story, you got it. Shane, though, he fell in love with you so he got twisted, dark, untrustworthy. He tried to kill me..so I had to kill him. That was before we knew for sure that everyone turns unless you get a stab in the head so he stood up as a walker and Carl saved me by shooting him. That's why I can't look at him, that's why I can't look at you. Why I slowly fell out of love with you. When you died I went crazy, I would leave the prison walls because I thought I saw you out there in a white dress..your wedding dress. Daryl helped me to realize I wanted to mourn you as my wife, and as the person I was in love with but I only loved you then. I am still broken and I'll always carry that pain. I have a second chance with you and nothing will keep me from keeping you safe, but Lori I am not the husband you had, not the one from yesterday." After he finished I was in tears, and he held my hand for a moment as he told me this, when he let go I saw his wedding band in my hand and I kept up my silent tears even when he kissed me on the head and walked away. I cried for what was and what never was. How could I have done that. How could he and Shane become enemies. I don't understand, but I do at the same time. I felt my heart breaking into millions of pieces and I just stayed where I was mourning the love I lost.

DARYL POV

I saw Rick leave the log he was sitting on when he spoke to Lori and I was proud, he had huge balls, he was doing what needed to be done, but I know it had to be one of the hardest things. I don't know what I would do if I was Lori, I've never been married, but to have someone you love fully come back so changed and not in love, that would be heartbreaking, especially since it's Rick..I shook my head to get rid of that errant thought. It is inappropriate and just weird. I didn't think that way, I was a loner and still am. I shook my head again fighting the blush that came up just incase someone could read my mind, because that doesn't make me seem like a teenage girl.

My attention snapped back up to Rick now leaning over to kiss Lori's head and for a second my heart squeezed with the thought that maybe he was still in love with her, again with the strange thoughts, but when I saw a glint in Lori's hand and on her face I know that he did as he planned.

He turned to walk in my direction and I saw he was stressed and in pain, so I turned and walked alongside of him around beside the house and out back, we soon stood side by side at the first barbed wire fence and watched the smoke rise off the bodies. We were silent for a long while and then Rick broke the silence, but we still kept our eyes out on the farmland, "Was that wrong? She and Shane weren't the people that I distrust. How could I hold judgement for their wrongs they never committed?" Rick shook his head with a rustling of fabric and I just thought, but I could find nothing wrong with it.

"They need to know. We all will be looking at Shane a bit closer than before and Lori deserves your whole love if you were to stay together, not obligatory love. Rick you did what had to be done, you always do."

"Doesn't mean it's right."

"We all are still here aren't we?"

"Not all of us."

"She wasn't your fault."

"I let the boy in the prison go. I should have killed him"

"That's true, but now you know, we all do. We have a second chance, Rick, and you've started it out right."

"We will see."

I heard the pain in his voice, the fear of what's to come and I know that was a vulnerable move for him, he is never weak or scared when he talks about his plans and before I can think about what I'm doin' I reach over and hold his hands, twining my fingers in his. I tense up, but don't let go, I aint a pussy or anythin' so I hold my ground and when I feel a slight pressure of his hand on mine for two beats I am glad I was brave or stupid enough to do this. Our eyes are still out on the field, but maybe this time around we can do this right.

Okay that chapter is done! Ah I have fought so hard with writer's block! I'd write a bit of the chapter..then not finish it then wait a bit and add more, but I'm happy with the turnout, PLEASE let me know what you think, I took a pretty big step in the Rickyl direction so let's see how much hate mail I get for it! Haha, kidding, kidding.

But thank all of you for the follows and favorites, I love you all and I will continue writing! Until the next!