AN: /cries into the night this is so late and I've still got more to catch up on

Written in 20 minutes.

Hushed voices. A silky, smooth and playful one, mixed with a deep, plaintive voice, "Come on, it'll be fun!"

"Phantom. We would be violating their privacy."

Phantom's chest puffed out, "Every respectable young man goes on a panty raid once in his life!"

"...And where did you read that, a magazine?"

"No, Freud! The internet! The internet never lies."

Freud impatiently sighed, raking fingers through his hair, "I'm not doing it. Mercedes would kill us."

"Please?" Phantom begged, pouting, "I'll blow you."

"...Deal," Freud grumbled, "Although I don't understand why you feel the need to steal some poor girl's panties when you have a perfectly good boyfriend who can," Freud's voice dropped as he leaned in and purred against Phantom's ear, "Send you dirty underwear of his that's dripping with come."

Phantom, now beet red, looked away, "Uh... Let's just go."

"Mercedes, first?" Freud hummed.

"Mercedes, first."

"She- ahahaaa, she has a thong with... With unicorns on it!" Phantom was doubled over laughing, only to have his mouth covered by Freud.

"Hush, Phantom. Do you want to get caught?"

Phantom just licked Freud's fingers and stared down at the lacy... Thing, he was holding, snickers stifled. He stuffed it in the backpack he was wearing.

...Freud's fingers didn't move from his mouth.

"That's right, suck them," Freud hummed against his ear.

And that was how Phantom wound up with a boner in the middle of his ex-girlfriend's room, with a backpack full of her thongs, making out on her bed with his boyfriend when she walked in and screamed.

"I can explain...!"

Well, that was their high school days in a nutshell.