Title: The jealousy inside

Summary: Everything was ruined, including her ability to recognize how jealous she was.

Outlaw Queen Week ~ Day 7 – Jealousy

A/N: So, this one I really enjoyed writing. Almost, almost off the prompt but I managed. I hope you guys like it.

Life was full of what ifs, and the one Regina couldn't keep from thinking was: What if she didn't know about Robin? That's what Regina thought when she closed her door, locking it down, unwilling to see or talk to anyone. After witnessing Robin reuniting with his Marian, she left Granny's seeing everything red, an almost uncontrollable anger boiling inside her chest, the will to burn the place to the ground only diminished by the desire to choke Emma Swan. She knew that she couldn't do what her angered thoughts suggested, mostly for Henry, so she left the diner slamming the door at Emma's face. The blonde had the nerve to try and talk to her. She really didn't understand limits sometimes.

She spent the next day feeling miserable and lost. Anger and sadness licking at her insides for the lost chance that she didn't have the opportunity to truly enjoy because she really understood that Emma did what she thought was right. That day, Regina realized that both Emma and Snow did things believing to be the right thing to do. Problem is that somehow Regina had her life inadvertently screwed up. First time it happened she feel into a spiral of hatred, despair and vengeance that led her to this very moment; everything was feeling out of place, she had a broken heart and once again for good reasons with painful consequences to Regina. She sighed heavily. The buzz of her telephone reminding her that people out there apparently cared about her, but she was in no mood for talk. She turned everything off and sunk in her comfortable bed, tired and hopeless.

Next morning when she woke up, Regina saw the street covered in snow and a cold chill running through the streets of Storybrooke. Of course she didn't link the strange weather to the damned time travel that Emma did with the pirate. Choosing to ignore everything, she got herself ready for her working day, and now that Granny was acting a lot more friendly with her since the showdown with Zelena, Regina decided to have her breakfast at the diner, and that was the stupid choice of the day, of course.

Exactly three minutes after she sat on her usual place, Robin, Marian and Roland entered the place together. She swallowed hard and kept herself motionless, expecting that he wasn't going to notice her. He was talking to Marian, a frown upon his face, while Roland played with a miniature of a car.

"Here." Ruby put a cup of strong black coffee and three pancakes on her table. "That's what you usually order, right?"

"Yes, but I didn't order the coffee," Regina said.

"I'm sure you didn't sleep well, your face says this. Also, I don't think you wanted to," she motioned to where Robin was seemingly understanding why she was so tense. "You know, get someone's attention. I understand that it's not exactly the best moment for you to see him. I'm really sorry for what happened."

"Thank you, but there's no need to be sorry. I'm sure I wasn't born for this happiness thing, you know?" Regina said, looking down and wondering why she had left her house that morning.

"Everyone was born to be happy, Regina. Sometimes is just a matter of timing." Ruby smiled and turned her back, not seeing how Regina's jaw dropped at the use of words.

She looked at her plate and instantly felt sick and irritated. She dropped the money over the table and didn't bother to walk to her office, and in a puff of purple cloud she vanished, not realizing that Robin was eavesdropping her little conversation with Ruby.

~o~

Two weeks later, Regina saw herself once again at Granny's. The weather was worse by the minute and no one had an explanation for what was happening. She'd been going through everything she had on magic to try decipher what was going on, but nothing came up to her.

This particular morning the snow was not falling, but the wind was as cold as ever and it seemed like everyone's lungs were about to freeze with every breath taken. It was getting impossible to spend more than a few minutes outside.

She was far away from the diner, thinking about Henry and the ways she could protect him and baby Neal from the cold weather when she heard a loud child shrieking.

"Roland, you can't do this, not now." Marian soft voice floated towards Regina, who was hidden from their view again.

"But I want to play outside," he said. Regina could actually see the pouty in his lips and the pleading look in his lovely eyes. She spent enough time with him in her castle to understand his behavior. He was adventurous, just as his father.

"Your mother said you can't, Roland. Listen to her." Robin appeared and Regina felt a pang in her chest when she saw him circling his wife's waist. Marian leaned into him and kept looking at Roland who was now sat on the floor, arms crossed over his chest and an angry expression in his lovely face.

Four days after Marian 'resurrected', Robin was at Regina's office in the first hour. He said he had talked to her about everything that happened after she disappeared and he told her he knew about her impending execution at Regina's hands.

Regina averted her eyes, which were cold and impassive, and asked him leave. He tried to tell her that he knew she was different, changed, but she refused to listen to him. You have a wife, she said, go take care of her. He left but not before brokenly say that he was sorry for breaking her heart.

She cried a little more than usual that day and envied his ability to see past the flaws of a person, no matter how big they were.

Another loud shriek and Regina was brought back to present day. Roland was in Ruby's arms now, resting his head over her shoulder while the woman tried to calm the boy down by offering him some hot cocoa. Regina looked over Robin and Marian just to see her with her arms around his waist, her head resting on his shoulder.

Looking at them, Regina realized that she didn't miss only Robin's company, she missed the physical aspect of their relationship. He never touched her until the she made a move and kissed him that night in the forest. He never crossed limits with her, something she now regretted a little, but not that much. Of course they didn't have sex, too soon, she had thought, but now she knew it was the best decision. She wondered everyday how her life would be even more miserable if she had to deal with memories that she longed to have, but knew she would never have.

That's when she felt the jealousy flare inside her chest. Marian could have him. He was hers anyway, her husband, the man who would've walked through hell to have her back but didn't need to do such thing to have his wish fulfilled.

At her spot, Regina saw Marian hold Robin's chin and plant a kiss in his lips. She closed her eyes, and failed to see the frown in his brows. The jealousy was suddenly out of control, and undeniable. It was there from the moment she saw Robin holding her the night she came back. She was just ignoring it. She realized that the pang she felt in her chest every time she saw them together was jealousy. She was jealous of his wife. Regina bit back a frustrated groan before burying her face in her hands.

He wasn't hers, he had already moved on, so why was he with her? He said to her that he had to let a guilt, that wasn't his in the first place, go so that he could live again, breath again, smile again, raise his son as he deserved.

She suddenly saw everything with a divine clarity, if she could use such term. He was hers not because of a tattoo or because a fairy used pixie dust to find him, no! He was hers because he opened his arms and invited her in his life, just as she did with him; he was hers because he fought for her and with her. He was hers because he chose it to be like that. She might have taken the first step, but when he kissed her back he was telling her that he was choosing her as well.

He didn't make any promises, but his eyes never lied when he said he believed her, they never lied when she thanked him for standing by her side and getting her heart back. And now she had lost him to some sort of obligation that mocked her every single day.

Marriage, something she was forced to have at a very young age; something she loathed with her whole soul had again taken away her chance of happiness, and she hated herself for letting that happen again. And she was so distressed that she got up of her spot, paid for her food and left the diner, not before looking at Robin with ice in her eyes.

Marian ignored her and went to pick Roland up, and Robin looked at Regina's form until she disappeared. He felt a strange envy in his soul. He envied her loneliness because she could at least pretend she didn't care while he had to pretend to be happy when in reality he was just as miserable and unhappy as before; and the problem being now that these feelings were gone for a short while. And Regina was the one who made them vanish; she was the one who brought hope and joy to his life.

He sighed heavily and thought that maybe not even timing was going to be enough to fix this mess they were in, but he hoped for all the good things he did in his life that some force from above was going to have mercy on them. He couldn't let his second chance in happiness go away, not again.

A/N: So this is it! Last chapter of this personal challenge. Of course, I'm glad I was able to pull this off and write something every day for OQW. That's victory! *inserts Regina's theme when she was putting Zelena's pendant in her vault* And thank you all for reading. Reviews keep being very much appreciated, not to mention they save puppies!