AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I originally did have this as a smitten one shot, but then I realized that the following morning (the next episode) Cesare was cold towards Lucrezia. So I changed my ending slightly, just before posting.
It might be lonelier
Without the Loneliness
I'm so accustomed to my Fate
Perhaps the Other—Peace
Would interrupt the Dark
And crowd the little Room
Too scant—by Cubits—to contain
The Sacrament—of Him
I am not used to Hope
It might intrude upon
Its sweet parade—blaspheme the place
Ordained to Suffering
It might be easier
To fail—with Land in Sight
Than gain—My Blue Peninsula
To perish—of Delight
Sacrilegious Consummation
The soft sound of Cesare's breathing filled Lucrezia's ears. She lay there unaware for a few moments, not completely ready to open her eyes yet. She then realized that it was in fact Cesare lying beside her and not Alfonso. Though her eyelids were closed she could only feel darkness, no light forced its way through. She allowed her eyes to flicker open fleetingly, witnessing the dark surrounding and Cesare spread out next to her, his arm lying limp over her stomach. His eyes were closed so she closed her eyes, allowing herself to be consumed by the darkness once more.
"Open your eyes, my love," Cesare soothed, but she rejected his request, "I know you're awake."
Lucrezia could feel Cesare moving closer towards her in the bed. Lucrezia turned onto her side and allowed her eyes to flutter open once more. His eyes were open, watching her, a smile spread across his face.
"I am lethargic," she said her eyes sore. Cesare smiled wider, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Please, don't…" she said her hand reaching out to rest on his chest.
"Is it the shame or the regret, or perhaps both?" He mumbled and Lucrezia recoiled.
"No… no brother! What disregard! It's because I desire never to leave your side," she said flipping onto her back annoyed, "It breaks my heart." Cesare regretted his words instantaneously, he gazed at her through the darkness and sighed.
"Forgive me," he recanted but there was no response. The air surrounding him suddenly felt heavy.
"Do you love me Cesare?" She asked and he leaned towards her and placed his lips on her cheek, but not quite kissing her.
"Of course, sis. More than you know."
"Then why wound me so, with such contemptible words," she growled.
"I beg your forgiveness, sis. It was unkindly," he said in a flurry of dread.
Cesare could feel Lucrezia smiling, her cheeks lifting beneath his lips. He pulled back slightly and gasped.
"You trifle with me," he fathomed now lying on his back beside her.
"Only a little. I am truly not so offended, but it did pain me," she leaned over him.
Cesare, with Lucrezia lying against him, took the opportunity to glaze the back of his hand against her cheek. Her eyes closed at his gentle touch. It was still early hours of the morning, the sun had not yet rose, but he knew they were in a fatal position. He sighed at the thought.
"You must leave. It is not wise to linger," he moaned.
"I want to stay here forever," her voice yearning.
"I'd wish for nothing more," he smiled and Lucrezia pressed her lips to his.
Cesare was lured in once more.
The soft sound of their lips parting spurred Cesare's emotions. He tempted for bigger more passionate kisses and Lucrezia was more than happy to indulge with him. She brushed his lax curls back and cupped his face in her hands. Though they had napped, Lucrezia's lips were sweet and not at all malodourous. They were lost in a bundle of emotions, distracting them from the fact that Lucrezia needed to leave.
Pigeons cooed on the balcony distracting Cesare and forcing him to shrink.
"You must," he whispered and she sighed climbing out of his bed.
She pulled her bed garment from off the floor and draped it over her body so that it lay loosely. Cesare climbed out of the bed then and stood behind her, wrapping his hands firmly around her so that his palms rested on her stomach. Lucrezia looked down at his hands and placed hers over them.
"No regrets?" He asked her, his voice whispering into her ear.
"No," she smiled. "Although… what if I were with child?"
It took Cesare a few moments to process the words that had slipped from her blessed lips. Their act had been sacrilegious, but now Cesare felt selfish. He had not thought of this consequence. His eyebrows knitted together in angst and frustration.
"Then you must bed your husband," the words pained his soul. Lucrezia pulled away in shock.
"You would ask this of me?"
"I needn't ask, it is what is expected," he said as a matter of fact, his eyes never leaving hers.
"Expected?" She asked her voice becoming higher pitched.
"He is your husband… I am your brother. You are yet to consummate your ceremony and I beseech that you do. Nothing can become of us… of this."
Cesare looked at the horror stricken Lucrezia and realized that the conversation was taking a turn for the worst. So he pulled the thin blanket from off the bed behind him to cover his exposed waist. Lucrezia watched his actions and cackled maliciously.
"You needn't trouble yourself," she said walking towards the exit.
"Lucrezia wait," he said and she paused in her step. "Yes, you must bed your husband, but it doesn't mean I want you to. It pains me, it-"
"But it wouldn't be as painful as carrying your child," she said still not looking at him and Cesare faltered in his step. "I thought not." She finished continuing towards the door.
"Lucrezia… sister," he called. She paused by the door and looked at him one last time.
"I'll do as you bid brother. Sleep easy knowing that I will be with my husband. You keep your regrets… but know I have none."
Lucrezia left, leaving Cesare to stew in a pot filled with antagonising remorse.