Oikawa always gave off the aura that he owned my apartment. It didn't matter that I rarely had him over, or even that when I did, I made damn well sure he didn't feel like a guest at all. It didn't even matter how long he was here for. I could have him over for the mere twenty minutes I needed him, and he'd still end up drinking half my milk and using up all my hot water. It was something I had grown to accept, something I tolerated while he was around, and then promptly kicked his ass on his way out the door. This time was no different.

"Ah, Kageyama," he sung my name, sprawled over the couch, nothing but a blanket over his waist and wet hair clinging to his features. "You really wore me out this time. I won't be able to stand for weeks."

He stretched his arms as he spoke, arching his back. I could feel his gaze on me as I rubbed my hair with a towel, trying to get it as dry as possible so the cold water I had been forced to bathe in wouldn't make me sick. I only gritted my teeth at the sound of his voice, already planning my excuses for how I would get him to leave.

"Though I still regret not showering together," his voice drawled. He wasn't even bothering to hide his desire anymore, brown eyes raking down my naked torso, stopping at the towel around my waist and trying to burn it off with his gaze alone. I only sighed irritably as I pulled the towel from my hair, resigning to letting the rest of it air dry.

"Me too," I called to him, walking into my room to find a pair of clean trousers I could wear. It was like taking in a stray puppy for the night; I didn't need to be looking at him to know his ears were perking up out of hopefulness. "It would've meant cleaning myself under hot water."

Shoving a pile of text books off my bed, I managed to find a pair of jeans I had only worn once (maybe twice), and slipped them on. I could hear his quiet chuckle in the next room.

"You're so mean, Kageyama!" he commented, even having the audacity to sound disappointed. I only rolled my eyes as I came back out into the living room, heading for the adjoining kitchen and turning the hot plate on to burn, beginning to heat a frying pan. "Fried foods are bad for your skin, Kageyama."

I showed him a choice finger over my shoulder.

As I was getting ready to begin the exhausting task of ushering Oikawa out of my apartment, there was a knock at the door. We both turned our heads to the source. My mind flew through the possibilities of who could be calling on me at one in the morning. It couldn't be my landlord; I had paid my rent on time for once. It couldn't be my parents; they were overseas celebrating their anniversary. It couldn't be Oikawa; the bastard was letting the blanket slip from his waist, as if I could be tempted to go another round. It could only be…

"Oikawa. Get dressed and leave." I ordered, rushing to the door.

"Now you're just being cruel."

"I said: get out!" I demanded, opening the door. My heart sank at the sight.

I had counted on not seeing it tonight. I had counted on not seeing it ever again. I had been prepared to never see it again. Though life is forever unexpected, and forever throwing things in your face despite how much you insist you won't be able to handle them anymore. What's that saying? 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'? Well I'd trade staying as weak as I am now any day to never to see this sight again.

Thankfully, it didn't take long to shove Oikawa out of my apartment, throwing his shirt against his the back of his head and slamming the door behind him. I didn't even blink as I headed back to the fridge, grabbing the half-filled tub of ice cream and two spoons from the drawer, thankful I had actually remembered to do the dishes that afternoon. Then it was just a case of getting comfortable, cracking open the tub and waiting for him to finish. It was a long process.

It always was; and I think that's what hurt the most.

"I thought he would be different," Hinata sobbed into my lap, his shoulders heaving as he gasped around his cries. His entire body shook with the effort it took to let his pain escape from his body. "He said he didn't care! He said he wouldn't ask! I'm an idiot! I believed him!"

If Hinata thought himself an idiot, than that made me the town's fool, because I had believed him too.

I could only run my fingers through his ginger hair as he clung to my knees, wiping his nose on my jeans and continuing to curl in on himself more and more with each passing minute. My heart ached in my chest as I was forced to watch, forced to attempt to hold him together as his own heart shattered under my fingers. Surprisingly, I wasn't angry. I would be later; I had learnt it came with time. It didn't matter how many times Hinata ended up in my apartment, sometimes furious, sometimes irritated, and like now, sometimes when he was broken. It didn't matter how hard or fast he fell, or if I had told him so or even if I hadn't detected it at all, like now. This had become a sad tradition between us.

High school had ended on a great note. We had taken Karasuno to the nationals, and though we had only taken home second place, we had all graduated with volleyball scholarships to our preferred universities. We still kept in touch with Daichi and all our other previous team members, and Hinata and I talked almost every night. It had been hard, being so far away from so many people I had learnt to trust over such a long period of time. It wasn't that I didn't like my university, or even the classes I had chosen, but I guess I had missed a little bit of home and the familiarity of it all.

Lucky for me, familiarity came to me. The first semester had barely started before Hinata had called me in the middle of the night in a crisis, claiming he didn't like his choice and wanted to change. After breaking through his hysterical cries and calming him down, I told him he had every right to do so if he wished. He had received offers from several universities, and each one would still be happy to take him if he asked. A week later, I was helping Hinata move into the apartment complex around the block from my own.

Just like that, I was no longer missing my old home. Everything I needed was now with me, and I wasn't going to lie, tossing to my favourite spiker again felt damn good.

However, all I had learnt during those harsh years in Karasuno High School had come rushing back to me in a flood of feelings and anguish I hadn't been prepared to accept. High school was supposed to be there to teach you about life and about yourself, and it surely did that for the both of us.

Sometime through second year, Hinata and I both discussed how completely un-attracted we were to girls compared to the rest of the team, and soon found out exactly why. That would've been fine, if it weren't for the fact that I was then falling head over heels for my ginger-haired counterpart; and I had fallen hard. Of course, Hinata being Hinata, never even noticed my feelings, or me like that in general. Graduation had come, and with our lives taking very different turns, I had decided to confess, but I hadn't been the only one with that idea.

I couldn't even remember his name; it had been so long ago. All I knew was that for a solid three months, Hinata and that guy were pretty much twined together like two ends of a twist tie. I had tried to act supportive, and apparently I had succeeded, because soon after moving over to my end of the country, Hinata was knocking on my door and asking for a friend to comfort him. It had taken a while before I had managed to get it out of him, why he was sniffling on my couch, before he finally told me they had broken up, and all because Hinata hadn't been ready to take the next step with his boyfriend and give up his virginity.

I had wanted to beat the man to a bloody pulp, and called him, telling him he better be thankful he had stayed at Hinata's original university, or I'd be over there, beating his ass with the very hands I used to create legendary tosses. He didn't seem perturbed, only irritated. Of course, I couldn't help but be a little bit happy that he was now out of the picture and I was free to try again; I was only human after all.

I gave Hinata his space, let him wind down from the ordeal, and chose to make a move when the incident had been forgotten.

But one spritely and eventful party later, Hinata was introducing me to another love interest. What could I say? The boy's enthusiasm and happiness was contagious in more ways than one, and he caught people's attention without even trying. I tried to be happy for him, I really did, but it was only two weeks later before Hinata was knocking on my door again, storming around my apartment with his fists in his hair as he cried angrily about the latest fucker who had dared to break his heart.

I wouldn't have been so mad, if they hadn't broken up for the exact same reason Hinata's last romantic endeavour had ended.

Hinata began questioning himself after that. I told him he shouldn't worry about it, and that when he was ready, he'd just know it, and would know to take that step with the person he liked the most. Hinata being Hinata, couldn't wait, and spent the rest of the night on my laptop, scrolling through forum after forum on the internet, trying to self-diagnose his apparent 'mental disorder'.

Of course, he didn't have a mental disorder of any kind. Hinata was asexual. He wasn't interested in sex. Never had been. Probably never would be. Hinata was happy he had a name for it at least, that he'd be able to warn further partners in the future of this, and perhaps avoid any more heart-wrenching incidents. I only yawned, patting him on the head and told him he shouldn't need to 'warn' anybody in the first place. Sex was his right, and it shouldn't change how the other person felt about him if he simply didn't want it.

It certainly hadn't changed how I felt about him, and honestly, that had surprised me.

Hinata and I had always been polar opposites. Hinata liked orange juice and I preferred milk. Hinata always wanted mustard on his hot dogs, but I would only accept tomato sauce. Hinata loved comedies and children's movies, while I was always convincing him to watch the latest horror or slasher film with me. Hinata never wanted sex, and I couldn't seem to get enough.

That's how Oikawa had waltzed back into my life. He was the setter of the opposing team once again, but after beating him in a match, he had approached me with every intention of getting as close to me as he could. I had let him, if only for someone that I could call at a moment's notice, driving out my sexual-frustrations before kicking him out and bunking down for a good night sleep or cramming for the test I had the next day.

Though Oikawa perfectly understood our agreement, it didn't stop him from always inquiring about something more. I, however, didn't want a relationship; at least not with anybody other than the ginger-haired mutant now in my lap, crying for the pain to go away.

My feelings weren't exactly subtle, and everyone who met me managed to pick up on it in a heartbeat. Many had told me to either confess or move on, as I shouldn't waste my time waiting for someone I may never have. I only spat at their suggestions. If I wanted to move on, I would; but I'm stubborn by nature, and I wouldn't move on until Hinata was saying 'I do' at the end of the aisle with someone other than me.

At least, that's what I had thought.

It had been six months to the day since Hinata and his latest partner had started dating. For most of those six months, I had been wary of the man's presence around me. I had made it clear that Hinata was my friend, and I'd do anything to protect him from getting hurt. Hinata, in turn, had made it clear from the start that he wasn't interested in furthering their intimacy beyond making out occasionally and holding hands the rest of the time, and of course, his partner had continued to insist that that was completely fine.

It had been their six month anniversary tonight, when I had finally resigned to leaving Hinata be, and taking my defeat with a grain of salt. Hinata had seemed to be deep in love with this one, and the other didn't seem to have any intentions of breaking the pact they had made all those months ago. I had thought it was over, and had called Oikawa as Hinata had left for their date, wanting very much to forget about what I was now giving up in favour of something hot, heady and temporary.

How wrong I had been.

For the past two weeks, Hinata had been bouncing around me, reminding me every chance he got that his and his partner's anniversary was coming up, and that the other had promised something 'special' on the night of said event. I couldn't believe I hadn't gotten suspicious at those words; that I hadn't picked up on the fact that 'something special', could possibly be Hinata's partner finally taking that step he had promised never to consider.

It wasn't that they asked; Hinata was smart enough to expect that. It's that they forced the issue, threatening to break up if Hinata didn't cave. At least Hinata didn't bend to the pressure, and for that, I was always proud of him.

Though it certainly never made it any easier.

"I think I'm done with dating," Hinata was saying, shoving another scoopful of ice cream into his mouth and swallowing it whole. I took the tub from him and scooped up my own mouthful, but let the ice cream melt in my mouth, thinking over his words. It was nearing five am. Neither of us had had any sleep. I was exhausted from practice today, not to mention my bout with Oikawa earlier.

"Maybe you just need to start going for a different kind of guy," I suggested. Hinata clearly had a type; the clean, boyish-faced teens that seemed to be in abundance around this school. They all seemed innocent enough, and were willing to return the same kind of enthusiasm Hinata was always giving them.

"Oh yeah? Like who?"

Who do you think? I wanted to say.

"I don't know," I started cautiously. I was inwardly convincing myself that I wasn't about to make a move. Sure, my last attempts at letting Hinata get over his break up before trying to confess had always ended in me being last across the finish line, but that didn't mean it was okay to start in on him immediately. I would wait; just not as long this time. "You seem to go for the same type."

"I didn't even know I had a type," Hinata was licking his spoon loudly.

"Of course you didn't," I joked at him. He only glared. I continued. "You always go for the guys who seem too good to be true. The ones with neat haircuts and high grades and who seem to have good morals and who always have a good sense of humour."

"So I should go for someone who wears a lot of leather, rides a motorcycle and kills kittens for a living?"

I shoved at his shoulder. I had a brief flash of myself on a motorcycle wearing some gaudy leather vest and a dead kitten hanging off my handlebars.

Anything to be with him.

I shook the thought away. Hinata was hard to attract but I'm sure I'd never have to go that far.

"Maybe not to that extreme. Just…" I had to word this just right. I couldn't make it obvious, but if I made it too subtle there was no way in hell Hinata would pick up on it and I'd see him skipping off into the sunset with another guy within the week. "Try choosing someone a little closer to you. Someone who makes you comfortable without even trying."

"You sound like you're telling me to date Suga." I had to cough around the ice cream lodged in my throat at that one. Hinata only let out a fit of giggles. At least he was laughing again…

"Someone who makes you laugh," I tried again.

"Noya is overseas though…"

"Someone who isn't afraid to show you their dark side."

"I wouldn't touch Tsukishima with a ten foot pole!"

"Someone you don't like all the time!" Let's go for broke here.

"Oikawa is your boy-toy, not mine!"

"Someone who tosses to you then!"

Shit.

As expected, there was a heavy coat of silence that dowsed the room. I could practically feel the awkwardness crawling up my spine and settling on the nape of my neck. I hadn't meant to be that frank, but Hinata had seemed to be getting further and further off the mark. I just felt like I had to say something that would steer him in the right direction; I hadn't meant to give him a GPS to the location.

Bravely, I glanced over at Hinata out of the corner of my eye. He was frozen. The spoon still in his mouth and his shoulders hunched around his ears as if I had hit him with something. Technically I did. I just hit him with a year's worth of unsaid confessions, and hearing such a thing from your best friend after ending a relationship you were so sure would last forever? That couldn't be easy to shoulder.

"You wanna date me?" It was the question I wanted to hear but not in the tone I had hoped it would be intended. Hinata was asking for clarification. I only sighed heavily, dropping my spoon on the coffee table and reaching over for the tub's lid, clicking it back into place.

"It wouldn't be such a bad idea," Then again… "Would it?"

I didn't want to look at him at this point. I had just opened a hole into purgatory and if I stepped too far over the edge, I'd go hurtling down to spend the rest of eternity in a pit full of scathing monsters and flesh-tearing ghouls.

"I don't know," Hinata mumbled. There was a clink as he placed his own spoon next to mine. "You're definitely right. You'd be way different than any other guy I've dated. Not my type at all."

I wasn't sure how to take that.

I hated how uncomfortable he looked right now. I hated he didn't have an answer for me. I hated that he felt like he had to give me one.

"Look, you just got out of a six month steady relationship. I don't expect you to head full-force into another one. Just forget I said anything," I stood up, walking around the couch and into the kitchen. I decided I was still in the mood for that mackerel I had been planning on frying earlier, so switched the stove back on and stood over the frying pan, waiting for it to heat up.

Except that I was hoping he wouldn't forget at all. I wanted him to think it over, to decide it was at least worth trying. But I was afraid I was only being biased. He knew me back to front, just like I knew every single part of him like the back of my hand. He knew what made me laugh and what made me irritated, what he could insult me with as a joke and what he could say that would really offend me. He knew I would never risk our friendship over something like this, and we were certainly both mature enough now to handle going back to friends if he decided it just wasn't working.

Likewise, I knew which comedies were Hinata's favourites and what made or broke a kid's movie for him. I knew what issues he was sensitive about and what to say if he ever needed a laugh. I knew his favourite games on road trips and his favourite flavours of everything. I tightened my grip on the handle of the frying pan, realising my thoughts were just getting a little too sickeningly sweet for my tastes.

I sucked in a sudden breath as arms wove around my waist all of a sudden. I looked over my shoulder, seeing a mop of long, red hair pressed into the back of my shirt. He really needed to get a haircut. Hinata was burying his nose into my back, hugging me tight. I could only continue to look at him in confusion, wondering what he was trying to accomplish.

"You smell nice," he said. My cheeks heated at the words.

"Uh…thank you?" Was all I could muster. The smell of burnt oil rose up to me, and I quickly turned back to the pan. I remembered to hold my hand over Hinata's, just one of mine managed to cover the both of his, protecting his skin as the mackerel spit and spat while it cooked.

I nudged Hinata back so I could turn around, giving him a curious look.

He was shuffling his feet, not meeting my gaze. His lips were moving slightly, as if he were practicing silently what he wanted to say. In times like these, all I could do was sit and wait while he figured out his thoughts, sorted through the ones he needed and formed a sentence that would convey his feelings. Granted, when he did manage, it was never a very good sentence.

As if on cue, his head suddenly rose, his eyes defiant as he looked me square in the eye and jabbed a finger into my face.

"You're next!" he exclaimed. If I wasn't confused a moment ago, I certainly was now.

"Huh!?" I cried indignantly.

"I'll date you next!" he decided.

"What!? Have you got a list or something!?"

"Don't be an idiot, Bakageyama! You said I should date you! So I will!"

"I won't if you keep calling me that!"

"That's your loss; not mine!"

"I wouldn't consider it a loss! I would consider it a victory!" We were getting completely off topic.

"So do you wanna date me or not?" There was uncertainty in his voice again, his cheeks having turned bright red and his eyes going back to studying the corner of the room.

I glared at an opposing corner, thinking over how unnecessarily loud Hinata was. Though my answer was set; it had been from the moment he had walked into my apartment, all teary eyed and snotty nosed and wet cheeked. Granted, it wasn't a conventional confession or hardly an honest way to ask someone out, but that was all just Hinata; brightly packaged, wrapped up in a bright orange bow and standing at my feet, waiting for my answer.

It was a while before Hinata found the courage to look up again, and by then I was already looking down at him. He was startled at my frankness, at how I continued to look at him with an unwavering gaze. He shouldn't be surprised though; when had I ever shied away from a challenge? Especially one set by him.

"Yes," was all I said.

The blush that spread across his cheeks made it all worth it, despite the sudden smell of smoke in the air and my mad rush to get my mackerel off the frying pan.

It was now almost six in the morning. I had had no sleep, but I felt completely rested. Hinata shared my meal, coating his piece in soy sauce and shoving the whole thing in his mouth in one go. I could only watch in awe. Even with brown vinegar running down his chin and the sticky substance littering his fingers, I would still consider him adorable, but the dorky kind of adorable not a lot of people could put up with.

Hinata ended up dozing off on the couch while I got ready for class, briefly mumbling a 'have a nice day' when I told him good-bye. Though I found I should've just stayed home as I sat in my seat and tried to take notes, utterly failing, ending up drawing small scribbles of fuzz-topped crows in my margins while listening to the lecturer drone on about composition within a good photo.

I thought back to the agreement Hinata and I had made back in my apartment. It was a given that we weren't officially dating as of yet; just that we had made a promise to keep ourselves for each other. Hinata still needed time to deal with what had happened with him and his previous partner (who I still needed to go intimidate with my famous threateningly dark aura, now that I remembered). He could take all the time in the world so long as I was his next choice.

I had been waiting for this for over a year. I had sat through his countless obsessive crushes, obvious infatuations and deeply, serious relationships, all the while thinking 'why not me?'. It had been sort of pathetic, and maybe I should have moved on like so many people had suggested, yet as I walked back through my door to a slumbering ball of warmth on my couch, there was no way in hell I could bring myself to regret continuing to like the bundle of sunshine that had become such an avid and lively part of my life.

"Hey, idiot," I shoved him awake, dumping my books on his head to finish the job. "Don't sleep curled up like that! You'll ruin your neck!"

It was eight weeks and three days when I came out of my classroom to find Hinata sitting outside, waiting for me. We had agreed to meet up after my last exam for the semester (Hinata having finished a week earlier) so we could eat our weight in pizza than spend an hour arguing over which movie to see, before giving up and going home to smash away our anger at each other with the Wii I had at home. That's how it always went after all.

Though something seemed different about Hinata this time. He didn't rush over to meet me like he usually did, instead staying quiet and hunched on the bench, waiting while I approached him. He seemed to be shifting something in his hands, fiddling with his fingers, picking at the skin around his fingernails. He was thinking about something; hard.

"Oi, don't think so hard," I dropped my bag by his feet and dropped into the seat next to him. He flinched as I did. "You're only going to hurt yourself."

I sighed, bending back my neck and arching my back, stretching out the stiffness in my torso and feeling all the bones in my spine shift and crack as I got the blood flowing. I relaxed again, breathing deeply and smiling at the feeling of freedom that seemed to be coursing through my fingers. The mid-year break was here and I felt I had done well with all my assignments, meaning I was free to spend the next five weeks as I pleased. I could practically feel the ball in my hands already, hear the smack as my favourite spiker slammed it over the net.

"Okay! I'm ready!" Hinata announced, fists clenched over his knees as he stared at me with wide eyes. I only scratched the back of my head before nodding, going to pick up my bag.

"Alright. Let's head over before the lunch rush picks up and we have to eat at the counter again." It was a blessing that cheap pizza was only a slight walk away from both my apartment and university, but also meant that whenever we thought about heading over there for a meal, so was everybody else on campus.

"Not that!" Fingers were tight around my wrist. I looked at him then, the confusion evident on my face. "I mean I'm ready. To date. I'm ready to date you."