A/N This next chapter could be seen as end for this series. I've got a couple more ideas up my sleeve, but I think I might take my cue from you guys: if you'd like this to be the closing chapter, it will be :)

This chapter is dedicated to two of my favourite reviewing ladies:

nellies5446 - who begged me to fix it - and TheRealKayJay - who begged for something fluffy.

Really hope this fits the bill and you both enjoy.

Thanks so much for all your support.

Bedtime Stories

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess called Jackie.

Oh, God…
Shhh! I'm talking

Of all the ladies in the land, Princess Jackie was the fairest.

And the one with the highest opinion of herself…
Don't you think I'm the fairest in the land?
You're very cute – but you still haven't learnt to shut your pie-hole… Ow

As well as being the most beautiful, Princess Jackie was also the richest and most popular. One day, Princess Jackie met a knight called Sir Michael who was very handsome and mostly good and kind… but not exactly the brightest star in the heavens.

Blackholes shine more brightly than Kelso
Ha! Burn! I mean... shhhh: don't interrupt

So the Princess took pity on Sir Michael and took over his life, since he was so terrible at taking care of himself. And because he was very pretty, she decided to allow him to be with her. But Sir Michael's heart was not true and he cheated on the Princess with multiple slut-balls.

Princess Jackie has quite the mouth on her…
Well, they were

Being with Sir Michael brought other people into Princess Jackie's life who needed her help – and most importantly, her dress sense. Like the freakishly large giantess Donna who was almost pretty but needed Princess Jackie to help draw it out. (Though the Princess could do nothing about her enormous feet and had to be careful if the giant ever took her shoes off, since one time she wasn't looking where she was going and she fell inside and got lost for several days.)

Did Princess Jackie ever consider that the "giantess" was in fact normal and it was actually her who was freakishly small?
No, she did not

One day, the perfectly proportioned Princess was very sad as Sir Michael had cheated on her yet again. To her surprise it was a friend of Sir Michael's, a scruffy stable boy, who made her feel better. The Princess and the Stable Boy had never really been friends, and the Princess had always felt the Stable Boy was too far beneath her to really bother with.

And the Stable Boy wanted nothing to do with her since she was such a snooty square
I was not a square! I was bad-ass
What have I told you about misusing words?

Anyway, in spite of his roughness, after a while Princess Jackie realised it was the Stable Boy who always came to her rescue when she was sad or in trouble; in ways big and small. And even though he was often very rude to her, she started to trust him to look after her.

One day, Princess Jackie got in trouble with a mean Sheriff who wanted to put her in a dungeon for buying some... magic plants. The simple Stable Boy took the blame and took her place in the dungeon.

For the first time Princess Jackie began to think that maybe there were more important things than being the richest, cutest and most popular. And she realised that though he was scruffy, the Stable Boy's heart was true: he might be a stable boy in background, but he was far more noble than the actual so-called knights in her life. He was the kindest, sweetest guy she'd ever met, and she fell for the Stable Boy and he became her True Knight.

Yeah, she fell for him – he wasn't convinced yet
I prefer not to dwell on that part
I bet you do…

ANYWAY. After a… little bit of convincing, the Stable Boy finally acknowledged that Princess Jackie was the most breathtakingly beautiful vision he'd ever seen and admitted he'd fallen head over heels in love with her.

This really is a fairytale, isn't it?
Are you saying you don't think I'm beautiful?
Quit it – that doesn't work on me anymore
Pweease?
Ugh – fine, yes, you're the fairest in the land
And you looooooooove-?
Not in front of the ankle-biter – you realise you're teaching her really bad habits, right?
Uh-uh – I'm teaching her everything she needs to get ahead in life
Crap – she's opened her eyes. Keep talking!

So the Princess and the Stable Boy were finally together and for a while everything was perfect. They made each other better and taught each other about life and its most important lessons. For instance, Jackie learnt that Led Zeppelin were the best band in the history of the world, and the Stable Boy learnt the importance of properly accessorising your room.

Damn straight

The Princess and the Stable Boy were different but very happy. Unfortunately, the Stable Boy had been badly hurt as a little boy and found it extremely difficult to trust. So even though he loved Princess Jackie more than anything in the world, he found it hard to admit that, and sometimes he made her cry when he didn't put her first.

I don't like this part of the story
Me neither – but it's an important chapter

Princess Jackie started to doubt whether the Stable Boy really loved her and so she asked him to prove his love by telling her that one day he might marry her. The stable boy TOTALLY FREAKED OUT and refused, so Princess Jackie left the realm of – er – Wisconsia with a broken heart, hoping to find happiness in another land.

But the Stable Boy goes after her
I know – I was getting to that
Well, it's an important point

But, yes, realising he had made a terrible mistake, the Stable Boy went after Princess Jackie. Unfortunately, Sir Michael had accompanied Princess Jackie on her quest, and because he was a perv, when the Stable Boy caught up with them, Sir Michael said something that made him think Princess Jackie had not been true to him. This wasn't the first time the Stable Boy had jumped to this conclusion and been wrong – in fact, it was becoming a habit that he REALLY NEEDED TO GET OVER.

Okay, okay…

Ahem.

So now it was the Stable Boy's turn to be heartbroken and he fled to the skanky realm of Las-Vegasa to drown his sorrows in… er…. fermented fruit juice and…. hmmm… frankincense.

Nice euphemisms
Thanks

Eventually, the Stable Boy returned to Wisconsia where Princess Jackie was anxiously waiting and she immediately explained that nothing had happened with Sir Michael. The Stable Boy seemed to accept her explanation and all might have been well if it wasn't for the sudden entrance of the DIRTY SLUT WHORE from Las-Vegasa.

This evil wench wasn't even pretty-

Well…
Can it!

-but she was skanky enough to fool some guys into believing she was. And horrifyingly, in a moment of juice-induced insanity, the Stable Boy had married her.

Princess Jackie couldn't believe it. She cried every night for months that the Stable Boy was lost to her. Worst of all, the Stable Boy had totally changed. It was as if all their previous years together hadn't happened. He acted like he did before he rescued her from the mean Sheriff. Actually, he acted even worse. He acted like he didn't care about her at all.

The Stable Boy was a very good actor
Yes, but the Princess didn't know that – he was very convincing; it really seemed like he no longer gave a crap about her
Okay, at this point, the Stable Boy was an ass
Thank you, baby

So, poor Princess Jackie tried to get on with her life. She didn't want to, but eventually she had to admit the Stable Boy wasn't coming back to her. Even so, it took her a long time before she even thought about trying to find love with someone else. And when the DIRTY SLUT WHORE was revealed to be even dirtier and sluttier than they previously thought, after it came out she was already married, a little bit of the Princess hoped the Stable Boy might come back to her after all.

But he didn't.

The Stable Boy figured he'd blown all his chances there and wasn't prepared to risk the rejection
The Stable Boy was a big, fat coward
… The Stable Boy will let you have that one

During this time, Princess Jackie had become close friends with the Kitchen Boy who came from the exotic land of….er… Fezland.

You still don't know where Fez is from?
Do you?
I didn't make out with the guy!
Steven – spoilers!

Princess Jackie and the Kitchen Boy were actually living together at this point and gradually the Princess started to see how good and kind he was and started to think maybe the answer was to be with a friend. Maybe that way she wouldn't get hurt. Secretly, she was choosing someone safe, someone she thought would treat her well, but who she knew she'd never really fall for. She couldn't risk getting hurt again. And in her heart of hearts, she still loved the Stable Boy.

It's just as well she didn't really fall for someone else – the Stable Boy would not have taken it well
Shhh – you're getting ahead of the story again

So, Princess Jackie started seeing the Kitchen Boy and he was nice and good to her, and her life was calm and…. boring. But she figured that was better than the alternative.

Princess Jackie had been with the Kitchen Boy for a few months and was trying to work her way up to… er…. being with him. Not that he wasn't good-looking – he was – but it wasn't like it had been with the Stable Boy. Though she told herself that was a good thing.

Heh heh heh – being with the Stable Boy had ruined Princess Jackie for anyone else
The Princess isn't the only one with a high of opinion of themselves
Hey – I'm just stating the facts
Does the Stable Boy want another kick in the shin?
…Continue

But one day, the Stable Boy walked in and found the Kitchen Boy and Princess Jackie making out… and became very, VERY angry. He totally lost his cool. In fact, he totally dorked out.

I did not
Did too! All Zen had left the building
Whatever
Doesn't Princess Jackie deserve a little cool lost at this point?
...Okay, fine. The Stable Boy lost a tiny bit of cool

Indeed. He actually went to punch the poor Kitchen Boy until Princess Jackie stopped him. At which point the Kitchen Boy gallantly (and a little pissily) said that they clearly still needed to figure stuff out and he didn't want to get in the way of it. He then wished them both good day, and Princess Jackie and the Stable Boy were left alone together for the first time in a very long time.

Princess Jackie started crying, then went to run away, sure the Stable Boy would mock her, but he stopped her from leaving.

The Stable Boy hated it when the Princess cried. He kinda considered it his mission to make it stop – but he'd been repressing that
Awww!
Shhh – keep talking. It's working

Princess Jackie was in his arms for the first time in months and the Stable Boy could no longer resist her.

He kissed her. And Princess Jackie kissed him back.

But then she pulled away.

She told the Stable Boy she was scared, scared of getting her heart broken again. Scared of what would happen if she let herself trust him again.

Then the Stable Boy did something he'd only ever done once before: he said he was wrong, he told her he was sorry, and he told her that he loved her.

And then he asked to try again.

At which point Princess Jackie started crying again
Yeah, but they were happy tears this time

Princess Jackie told him he could have a probation period. The Stable Boy was not amused, but Princess Jackie reminded him about the DIRTY SLUT WHORE and he caved pretty quickly after that.

What she didn't tell the Stable Boy was that the probation period was fake: there was no need for Princess Jackie to think before she gave him her heart again – she'd never got it back in the first place.

So, the Princess and the Stable Boy started dating again. And everything was like it was before except that the Stable Boy had gotten better at being honest and the Princess began to believe the Stable Boy really did love her. And eventually the Stable Boy pulled his head out his butt long enough to get over his stupid issues, and he asked the Princess to marry him.

The Princess said yes.

And they lived happily…

…ever

…after.

Has that done it?
Yeah… Thank God – she's finally asleep
I can't believe that dumb-ass story is the only thing that works
I guess she just has good taste – like her Mama
Yeah, well, there's a fair bit of her dad in there, too, you know – today I caught her hitting Kelso Junior, and I swear she was trying to say 'moron'
Awww – you must be so proud
Yep. She's a scrapper. Actually, come to think of it, that's just like her ma, too…
Guess that makes us the perfect match
Guess so
Mmmm… Come on, Stable Boy – Princess Jackie needs some quality time before she wakes up again.
Yes, milady…