oOo

Chapter 17 – Impulse

Thanos was enraged.

He sat there, growling and hissing as he felt the world he created shatter and disappear from his grasps. So close was he to giving everything to her, but it was for naught. The souls inside diminished and returned to Hela. There was nothing joyous about it, nor was there content or satisfaction at Loki's expense. He had ruined the trickster and the Thunderer. While the chaos he created with Asgard and Midgard was naught but an empty victory.

He had loss this battle.

His schemes were thwarted, and unrestrained anger rose like bile as he gripped his arm rest, digging his nails into it. Loki was fortunate to be alive. Fate had favored the trickster for now, but an opportunity will rise where he will soon gaze upon the destruction of the world with everything at his command.

"It is not over," He growled.

oOo

Meanwhile in Asgard, it had been two days since they returned home, or at least close to home as possible because of the Avengers. Eir, the head healer, was doing all she could to help everyone, especially the Queen's youngest, who sustained more injuries than any one of them. She had other healers with her, observing Loki's progress, when the door opened, revealing the Queen.

"Milady," They all bowed.

Eir nodded to all the other healers and they swiftly left the room to give them privacy. Frigga walked closer and sat by the side of the bed, looking at Loki.

"Has he not yet woken?" She spoke softly.

"Nay," Eir shook her head. "He is plagued with memories, but we've given him a sleeping draught to ease his rest."

"That is well."

"He will not wake for a while."

"I suspected as much." Frigga sighed. "When will he wake?"

"We do not know," Eir lowered her gaze. "His mind is damaged. He was doing so well before, but I fear this encounter, his recent experience, drove him farther back into the comfort of recesses of his mind."

"And his body?"

"It is healing as expected."

"His scars?"

"Healing," She answered. "Although slowly, Milady. I am… more worried of his mental health than anything else."

"I see." Frigga nodded. "Thank you for doing all you can, Eir."

"It is my job, Milady."

With that, Eir departed from Loki's chamber and sought out the other healers. There was nothing more they could do but wait for the young Prince's recovery. Frigga hummed a soft lullaby that she used to sing to her sons when they were younger. She gently caressed Loki's hair, moving the back of her hand down and affectionately touched Loki's pale cheek.

"Wake up, my dear child." Frigga called. "Do not shield yourself from us."

But Loki remained limp on the bed.

"You are safe now."

oOo

Odin stood in front of Hlidskjalf, calm and collected, while Hela paced in front of him. She wore her long dark gown while she twisted her fingers around her long locks of hair. Odin was patient, while Hela played him around like a fool. She had no intentions, only to goad him, see if he would surrender to her whims, but Odin wasn't called the All-Father for nothing.

"I cannot express my gratitude better enough." Hela spoke.

"No thanks are needed."

"What belongs to me was returned," She smirked. "They have faced the worse of their nightmares all while their strengths and weaknesses were challenged, a worthy feat to overcome."

"And worthy, they all are."

"You need not worry over your son anymore, All-Father." Hela turned to him. "I will not see him any time soon. I hope you can guarantee that." She swished her hair away. "But nonetheless, if I do see him in my domain, I will welcome him as if he were my guest. That much I can assure you. Painless and less haunting."

Odin stayed silent as she continued.

"But I tarry with my words." Hela giggled. "You wish to know the fate of those who opposed my rule and succumbed to the Titan's wishes."

She raised her chin, narrowing her eyes at Odin.

"Fear not, All-Father. Those who bargain with beings with boons they cannot accomplish are foolish. They will have my rightful wrath."

"See to it none may repeat." Odin finally said.

"And does your word still stand from our previous agreement?"

"We have an accord." He nodded.

"So we have." Hela smiled.

With that, Hela disappeared with a haze of smoke, leaving the All-Father to his thoughts.

oOo

The Avengers sat in a large dining table, near the balcony, showing them the beautiful sight of Asgard. They saw ships flying around, the soft thin white curtains flow through the gentle breeze. In corners of the room were potted trees, light and pink in their color. Not everything was of gold as they thought it was, it was rock, simple of design, some were of precious metal. Fire danced through small pyres lighting up dark corners, dancing along to the merry laughs they were all having.

"What was their reaction?" Tony asked.

"They were not pleased that their images were used." Thor answered truthfully. "Sif and Fandral were more insulted than Volstagg and Hogun."

"Why?" Natasha wondered.

"Sif likes close combat. She would not resort to bows and arrows."

"And the other guy?" Clint questioned.

"He had a feeling he was not represented well enough in his charm." Thor chuckled. "However, they are more slighted that the All-Father had given them order to watch our borders at this time. They wish to spend time with you all."

"Right back at them," Tony said as he drank his ale.

"So, Thor," Steve spoke up. "Is everything holding up alright here?"

"It is satisfactory," Thor murmured. "Asgard is quiet about Loki's return. They do not speak of it. The All-Father has yet to explain why he disappeared in the first place, but I suspect he may use Loki's mental health to his advantage."

"Isn't that a dick move?" Tony scoffed.

"I agree," Clint nodded. "Hasn't Loki been punished enough?"

"I agree with what you're saying," Thor wrung his hands together. "But not even I can find a proper explanation to give our people. We can lie to them, as what the All-Father plans, but we could also tell them the truth. There are downsides to both."

"But Loki would suffer both, won't he?" Bruce figured.

"He will," Thor sadly agreed.

"I think I need more of an explanation on this one." Steve said.

"If we tell them the truth of Loki's disappearance, there will be chaos. When the one person people think to be dead has returned, it will cause an uproar. People will be divided. Fear will cloud their judgment. Blame will be put on us for not putting a stop to it sooner. And those who oppose our rule be it anywhere in the Nine Realms, rumor will spread and enemies will rise knowing there is something they can cling onto."

"And what is Loki in it for?"

"He is already thought of mad here." Thor frowned. "People will see no different, and blame will fall to him knowing that he had started this when he fell."

"And the other option?" Bruce hesitated to say. "Isn't good either."

"No, it is not."

"So if you lie, using Loki that he probably ran off in his madness," Clint scrunched his face. "What will they think?"

"Nothing," Thor answered. "They will soon forget the scuffle, but they will not forget the reason. None other will be the result of the lie, except for Loki."

"That's not fair." Tony cursed.

"It really isn't." Steve nodded.

"You don't have another option?" Natasha asked and Thor shook his head.

"Sidetracking," Tony raised his mug. "What about that dark haired horror chick?"

"Lady Hela sends her thanks," He responded. "She leaves with vouchsafe."

There was silence among them.

Thor drank as much ale as he could from his mug and stopped from there while the others picked at their nearly finished food. A soft breeze entered the balcony, moving the thin curtains around as a ship flew by. Then the quiet continued, save for their movements. Clint and Natasha were giving eye signals to each other, tilting their head towards Thor's direction, silently arguing. Steve noticed their strange conversation, while Tony and Bruce elected to ignore it.

"Thor," Natasha opened.

"Yes?"

"There's no way of saying this nicely without having to probably offend you in some way. But we've been here for two days and we're grateful that your healers managed to… patch us up."

"With precision too," Clint nodded. "Everything's healed."

"We're grateful, don't get that wrong—"

"What these two are probably saying," Steve entered the conversation with ease. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but as much as we want to stay. We're needed back home. Thor. It's… it's not easy to say it, but…"

Thor lowered his gaze.

"We can't stay."

"Can't some of us stay?" Tony asked, feeling guilty. "I'm not opposed for a few days, but Pep's probably worried and there's Fury to worry about…"

"We want to go home, Thor." Bruce voiced in agreement with the other three. "Asgard is beautiful, strange but exotic and wonderful. It's like a dreamland. We've seen so many things here, we've met your Mother, your Father, warriors in every corner, but it's not our home. And it's not our place to meddle with."

"I understand." Thor smiled for a moment. "I will not hold you here."

"We just hope this doesn't ruin anything between you and the team."

"Rogers, you need not say more, because you need only ask and I shall give, as long as it is just and reasonable." Thor chuckled and stood up. "Now, if you are all done, we will look for my Father and he will give you his leave."

"And you may have it."

They all turned to the door, making the Avengers stand up.

"As much as I am grateful to you all for returning Loki to us," Odin wearily spoke. "Asgard is no place for mortal men."

Thor caught his Father's gaze and nodded in understanding. The All-Father took a swift bow and the Avengers made haste to return it. Odin quickly left the dining area to who knows where. The Avengers were confused as they turned to Thor for answers.

"What was that about?" Clint awkwardly chuckled.

"He is thankful for your help," Thor smiled. "Yet he knows not how to approach you with his full thanks for he is much used to formality. He cannot express what his heart wishes to without losing his kingship image.

Thor sighed.

"So he leaves me to do it for him."

"So this is goodbye then?" Tony asked.

"You have our gratitude, make no mistake of that. Now come, I will take you to the Bifrost. I am sure that Midgard misses you, but Heimdall has informed me that there is no trouble. So you need not worry."

They all followed Thor through the halls of Asgard.

"Not leaving without saying goodbye?"

They stopped at the voice emerging from the corner. Frigga stood with the grace of the Queen as she clutched her cerulean gown. Thor smiled as he saw her approach them. The Avengers bowed to her, but Frigga shrugged it off.

"You have my thanks noble Avengers." Frigga softly told them. "Let us hope this is not our last parting."

"How is Loki?" Thor worriedly asked.

"Your brother still sleeps." She wearily turned to him. "But he is healing."

"We'd like to thank you for the hospitality, Ma'am." Steve approached. "It isn't everyday we're welcomed to another world."

"Please…"

Frigga raised a hand before they could all join Steve.

"I am the one thankful. This small hospitality does not compare to you returning my sons to me. You have my blessing. I foresee challenges ahead, but not all of them hard and long. Be well on your journey, this is not our last meeting."

"Are you leaving yourself, Mother?"

"I am going to look for Odin." Frigga chuckled. "I'm going to give him a thing or two about sulking all eve."

They all gaped.

"He cannot evade us forever." With that the Queen merrily walked away.

They couldn't believe it.

"Your mother is cool." Tony quipped and Thor had to laugh.

"Come, we tarry too long."

So they kept walking, until they nearly reached the bridge.

"Uh, hey Thor," Clint walked up to him. "When Loki wakes up, tell him that... can you… you know— don't say that it's from me, but from us in general—just—"

"Tell him that if he needs us," Natasha voiced. "We're right down on Earth."

"I think now is the right time to say it," Steve opened. "The whole team agrees."

"Agree on what?" Thor tilted his head in confusion.

"Loki's an avenger."

"What?"

"He's just as much an avengers as we all are."

"He is?" Thor thought.

"What, your little brother reigning on your parade?" Tony smirked. "Of course he's avenger material. He's been through a lot. Hell knows how much that kid's been through. He deserves it."

"I have no words to say."

"Just make sure it doesn't happen again." Clint huffed.

"I will," Thor smiled. "Come, we are almost there. When Loki wakes, I shall tell him of what you think. Since he is indisposed at the moment, I would thank you all for him."

"You'll visit us, won't you?" Bruce wondered.

"That's my line." Tony quipped.

"Earth, Midgard, it is also home." Thor grinned. "I would not shy away from the world I came to love, knowing that you are all there. And Loki would probably love to return."

"Aw, big guy's gone soft."

"You'll tell us if something is wrong, right?" Steve asked. "You can predict it, or something, let us know you need us?"

"Of course," Thor nodded.

"Nothing moves past Thor when it comes to his brother." Natasha voiced.

They all laughed.

"Except for this one," Thor points at Tony.

"Excuse me?" Tony gaped.

"It is not goodbye, my friends." He chuckled sadly. "Only in eternal parting do we say farewell. Now is not that day."

Thor watched as his friends departed on the Bifrost, though quick it was. It was long overdue. He had kept them here for fear of being alone with something he cannot handle, but knowing they gave him strength, was enough. Their future looked a little brighter, but for others, it was a long way to go.

Amidst the brightness, there is always a light dimmer than most.

oOo

Loki felt like his head was swimming and his vision uneven. He had opened his eyes and immediately felt the world spin around him. He slowly raised his aching hand to his eyes, even what little movement can do it made a difference to him.

"Loki?"

That voice, so soft and familiar, Loki had to look again to see if it was real. He stared into the most beautiful eyes he knew and in an instant, his vision cleared and his eyes brimmed with tears.

"M-mother?" He trembled.

"You are safe," She whispered. "You are finally home."

Loki was confused. Did she mean that he had left and only just returned or that she meant he finally came to reality? He could not think of the answer, until the memories made its way back into his mind. A nightmare, a dream, it made no sense. He was sore all over, and hurting in worse ways possible, not only physically but mentally.

He choked back a sob and pushed away from Frigga, but his Mother wouldn't have it.

"It's alright, Loki."

Loki sat up, ignoring his aches. Noticing Loki's distress, she placed a comforting hold on him that made him calm down. She allowed him to rest on her shoulder as she hummed softly. Loki shed no tears, for he didn't want for her to see him that way. But Loki stayed put in her embrace, allowing the pain to melt away, even for a moment.

"You must have so many questions." She pulled away from him.

Loki nodded.

"Forgive me, Loki." Frigga nearly cried. "I have not been the Mother you needed me to be. I have neglected you too much. I should have listened—"

"You did nothing wrong."

"I did, when I shunned you."

"You never shunned me." Loki quietly spoke. "You did all you can to help, even if it wasn't enough. You tried."

"Still, what kind of Mother am I?"

"The one I have." Loki muttered. "And the one I'm thankful for."

"My sweet child."

There was a knock on the door, and they both heard it. Loki looked at the door in confusion, while Frigga lowered her gaze. She held Loki's hands and thumbed them, making Loki tilt his head at her. What was happening? Why did she stop talking? Loki saw the door open quietly, that if he wasn't paying attention, he would not have noticed.

Thor entered the room, and Loki froze.

"Brother?" Thor whispered.

Frigga heard him, and she moved away from Loki.

"You are safe." Frigga assured.

Loki grasped her hand tightly in a silent cry for help. Do not leave me. It said. But Frigga shook her head and smiled. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and allowed Thor to explain everything to Loki. She whispered something to Thor that Loki couldn't hear, and it made Loki cringe in fear.

What were they going to do to him?

When Frigga left, Loki waited for Thor to attack him.

"I am glad you are awake."

Loki blinked.

"You have been asleep for nearly a week," Thor murmured. "I feared the worse, but… the Norns have heard our prayers."

Strange…

"I am glad to see you."

Strange as it was, Thor remained on his feet, awkwardly standing in front of Loki's bed, finding the carpet interesting. Loki tilted his head in confusion, unable to ask Thor a question. He could still feel fear rising in his chest, but he had to know. Thor waited, allowed Loki to settle and adjust. Frigga had known that they needed to speak to each other before Loki could speak to another, and Thor understood her reasoning.

Moments passed, and Loki couldn't stand the strange silence. It wasn't like Thor to keep quiet, and it unnerved him. It was odd, to see Thor cower in his own fears. Loki looked at Thor again, there was no ferocity in him, just pain in his eyes and figure. His clothes were a simple tunic, leggings and boots. No weapons. Loki waited, and time went by when none of them spoke a word to each other.

"Why do you stay so far away?" Loki found his voice.

"I do not want to hurt you."

"Will you hurt me?"

"Never."

Loki froze as Thor's determined eyes met his.

He clutched the sheet closer to his thin frame and compared the gaze in Thor's eyes. It was different, not like the eyes from his nightmares. Loki recalled the memory, but pushed it away. He was finally safe, wasn't he? It was Thor that led him out of that horrible place, but why…

Why did he feel trapped?

"Why do you shy from me if you do not want to hurt me?" Loki carefully asked.

"Because I see hurt in your eyes." Thor's voice trembled. "Loki, I... I do not know how we can return to how we once were."

And because of that, Loki knew it was real.

His emerald eyes brimmed with tears as he lowered his head. He clenched his fist tighter on the sheets, but Thor remained where he was. Loki could feel Thor's fear. Loki knew that Thor wanted to desperately comfort him, but his brother feared of hurting him, feared coming near him because of what happened. And Loki felt selfish, he wanted both. He wanted Thor to stay away, but he also wanted him near. So which one was it?

It took a moment, but Loki looked up again.

"How," Loki's cheek was stained with tears. "How did we ever return the first time?"

Thor had no answer.

They both had no idea how, but they knew it could happen again.

"I miss you, Loki." Thor painfully opened. "I love you."

"I know."

"You do, but things cannot return. They can never be the same."

"Would you bring more pain to me by avoidance if that is your means to make things right?" Loki bit back a sob. "Avoiding us? Avoiding confrontation? Will leaving me to my dark thoughts protect me?"

Thor remained silent.

"It will never be the same, it never returned to the same way."

"I do not know what to do, Loki." Thor stepped closer, but remained put. "What happened to you—"

"No." Loki bit his lips. "I do not want to remember."

"We cannot change anything, but we can move on from it."

"But we cannot," Loki finished. "Not soon anyway."

"You ask me why I shy from you. I say my presence causes you pain. Without me, you are alone. I do not know what to do, or what road to take, brother." Thor murmured. "I am lost just as you are. It will take longer, to return to what it once was, but it cannot be the same. As you say, we never returned to the past, we only moved on."

"What are you implying?" Loki mumbled.

"I do not want to see you get hurt." Thor answered. "They can erase your scars, your injuries…"

"But they cannot erase the past."

Loki looked away, finding something else to remember, but it kept returning to him like a broken memory. He could still the blood on his hands, it was cold and the entire place came down. But there was warmth, Loki couldn't explain it. He knew, he somehow knew it was Thor, despite his foggy memory.

"You finished him off," Loki mumbled. "Did you not?"

"Aye," Thor whispered. "For you, I will do everything."

"So it is true, I am your weakness."

"But you are also my strength." Thor walked a little bit closer, now by Loki's side. "I can give you time, Loki. Enough time to adjust to my presence once more. I can give you space."

"Do not."

"Do not what?"

"Do not do this." Loki tiredly said, rubbing his tears away. "That is not what I want."

"But it is what you need."

"No, it is not."

"Then tell me what you need," Thor lowered himself to the floor. "So I may give it to you."

"I do not know." Loki sniffed.

"You do not know?"

"I do not." He shook his head, looking away. "Just… just be here."

"I will remind you of—"

"Oh for Norn's sake, will you stop that?!" Loki snarled. "I told you I do not want to remember! I can cope, Thor! I have done it before!" He covered his eyes with his hands. "I do not see all of that alone, I see you. I see my brother. I see the one I grew up with!"

He lowered his hands and stared at Thor.

"Why?" Loki brokenly asked. "Why do you insist on tormenting me?"

Thor's silence made Loki continue.

"There is pain when I see you, there is hurt and agony and grief. I want to hide from you, I want to die because of you, but I cannot go through that again by running away!" Loki cried. "I am not a coward! I... I need you, Thor! I do not need this, what you are doing now, I do not need it!"

Thor couldn't look Loki in the eye as his brother's voice broke.

"I fear you, I see horror when I face you, even now I remember everything!" Loki trembled. "But... but despite that there is hope and light… and it's warm."

Thor got up and sat on the bed.

Loki felt it dip, but he ignored the added weight. He had lowered his gaze to stare at the sheet. He felt himself shaking, and the world around him grew darker and darker as he recalled every memory since. Thor moved closer, and Loki had no time to asses it.

"We can move on from this," Loki whispered. "Like we always do…"

"Forgive me," Thor finally said.

He pulled his brother into a soft embrace. Loki stiffed, but allowed himself to settle into Thor's arms. Warm, it was warm and it wasn't so closed off and cold. Loki leaned in closer, allowing his eyes to close as he listened to Thor's heartbeat. It was real… he was finally home… it was a test for both of them… and they just barely passed.

"I stand by my words," Thor stroked his hair. "I would never abandon you."

oOo

They were gone for a week, when it had only seemed like hours in that accursed realm. When the Bifrost had shot them at the landing pad, there was someone already waiting for them. They had all entered the tower's living room and saw someone sitting on the couch.

"Busted!" Tony raised his arms.

"Well," Fury glared. "You better have an explanation for where the hell you've been for the past week."

"It's a long story." Clint placed his hands in his pocket.

"I'm listening."

oOo

THE END.

Thank you so much for reading this story! It's been fun exploring these characters with you, putting them into danger and making things dramatic. I enjoyed it and I hope you guys did as well. So thank you again for sticking to this story! I truly appreciate it! :D