Falling into Nothing

Silence became the sudden answer to everything.

There were too many questions, and frankly, not enough hours in the day for him to answer them all. If honesty was the best policy as they say, then he wouldn't even know where to begin. He didn't even know all the answers himself.

Seth limped heavily towards his hotel room. His recent matches were finally beginning to take a toll on him and his mind wasn't ready to understand what was going on just yet. He could feel his ribs growing more sore as he took in staggered breaths to keep his composure.

Why was doing what's best for business so painful?

With suitcase in tow, Seth entered his hotel room and turned on the lights to reveal the emptiness that quiet and scary to him. A whole new world of loneliness was exposed just by the flipping of a switch. The flipping of a physical light switch, or even the flipping of his mental switch. It was all exposing the emptiness of what was becoming his new life.

Jerking a tired hand through his drying hair, he released the deep breath he'd been holding. He walked over toward his bed and threw his suitcase onto the mattress, grunting from the soreness that spread like a wildfire through his arms and shoulders. He relaxed the best he could so that it wouldn't hurt anymore, but the strains on his muscles weren't subsiding. He'd been wrestling long enough to know that.

Over the years, he'd been through turmoil and stress that wrestling brought onto him. But everything seemed to double in size when he joined the WWE. He felt as if all the strenuous schedules and timings of all his meetings and matches were harder to deal with. The fan base was larger than it was when he was an independent performer, and everything he did now was front-page news.

Especially his betrayal of his brothers.

Seth carefully rolled his shoulders back and sat on his bed, sinking into the comfortable mattress. He closed his eyes for what felt like ages, but he couldn't fall asleep. And suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

He groaned in pain, sat up and doubled over, once again in pain, before finding his way to his feet and limping back to the front door. Wrapping and twisting his hand around the doorknob, he opened the door and was met with the one person he feared most.

"Thought you could escape me, didn't ya'?" Paige said, wasting no time in entering the room with her hands firmly wrapped around her waist.

Seth followed the raven-haired Diva, closing the door behind him. "What can I do for you?"

"Don't play games with me, Seth. We both know what happened out there affected more than just you." She released the grip she had around her hip bones and moved her arms so that they were crossing one another. "I just came to understand why you would throw away every good thing you had for a suit."

Surprised at how fast she'd gotten it all out there, Seth took staggered and short breaths. "It's more than a suit."

"Then what is it, Seth? Tell me, what is so important that you had to stab your own brothers in the back?"

"It's complicated," he said. Which, was true. It was extremely complicated. It wasn't something that was written on a piece of paper that he signed over brunch. There was meeting after meeting and countless nights of exhausted thoughts that ran through his mind. He barely slept because his brain was so deadlocked about his decision.

Paige shook her head. She knew how strongly he felt for this industry, and how hard he'd worked just to be on the roster. She's gone through the same challenges and hardships, even with her being thousands of miles across the ocean. But she would never sell her soul to the devil for a fancier car, or whatever they were giving him. No matter how hard they begged or pleaded her, she would never betray the people who put her first whenever she needed them.

"It can't be that complicated," she said. "Nothing is ever so complicated that you can't come to your friends and talk to them. No, instead of you coming to me first, I had to find out when I looked at the monitor backstage."

Seth sighed. "I don't know what to tell you."

"Tell me why!" Paige dropped her hands to her side and stepped forward into the part of the room that the lights seemed to hit perfectly. It was then that Seth realized she had smears under her eyes. She'd been crying. "Tell me why you couldn't come to me with this!"

"You wouldn't understand," he said quietly. "Nobody would understand."

"Yes I would. And if it didn't come to me at first, I would keep trying to understand." She walked closer to him, desperation written on her face. "Tell me now," she muttered.

He looked at her. Not in the way he had in the past. For the first time since they'd known each other, he really looked at her. He read the expression that she was making and he tried to make sense of every sign she was giving him. He saw how distraught his actions must have made her, but for the sake of his own life, he couldn't figure it out. He didn't comprehend how something so distant from her could cause her enough pain to bring tears to her beautiful eyes. The same eyes that had clung to him like the last breath of a dying person. The same eyes that tried so hard to please him with a million different looks. Those same eyes that he'd run to in his time of need were staring at him in search of answers.

Answers that he just didn't have.

"I don't want to talk about it," was all he managed to choke up. She'd always had that power over him. Making him weak enough to forget how to speak.

Suddenly, Paige felt all the air in her lungs get sucked out of her. Like she was running through a tornado and everything in her path was being lifted up and pulled away from her reach. And all she was trying to reach was him. But he was so lost in his own world of hatred and confusion that she couldn't. She couldn't reach him.

"Fine. Don't tell me why you did what you did, or why you didn't tell me, or anyone else, about your plans." She made one final attempt at looking at him. One last attempt to get his attention directed at her, and not in the lustful way. In the way that he needed to listen to her. To talk to her and explain himself to her. She looked up into his eyes and used all of her efforts to get him to look at her back. One final time. "Just tell me that you're sorry."

He waited for her to change her mind and take back her plea. But she didn't. And he began to dig himself deeper and deeper...

"You want me to apologize?"

She nodded. "I deserve it."

"For what?" He scoffed and ran a hand through his hair, which was finally almost completely dry. "I don't remember slamming a steel chair into your back. I don't remember standing over your limp body without a feeling of remorse in my stomach. So, tell me again, why should I say 'I'm sorry' to you?"

Air was no longer relevant to her. She felt as if she were falling. Falling into nothing, and she couldn't stop. He didn't understand. This whole time she was trying to understand him, but he never tried to understand her.

She looked at him with disgust. "I can't believe you."

Without even thinking about it, he rolled his eyes. "I'm the same man I was yesterday."

"No," she said with defiance. "There's a difference between the man I saw yesterday and the man whose standing in front of me right now."

He shook his head and tried not to feel the pain that was growing in his chest. "Tell me, oh wise one. Tell me how I'm different."

With one giant leap, she said the one thing she'd been too afraid to say. "Because the man standing in front of me right now is the man I could never love, and the man you were yesterday was exactly what I did love."

They stood there in silence. She, too afraid to break down, and he, too afraid to fall apart. Both, too scared to lose each other. They just didn't realize how close they were to that yet.

Out of every moment they'd spent together, this moment amongst the pain and agony had to be his favorite. Because for the first time since they established their romance, they were being real with one another. They weren't tip-toeing around each other's feelings. Everything they'd felt had been poured out in one single line of pain-striking conversations. Just like that.

"Well," she muttered as she pulled a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm done."

He nodded and looked at her, feeling tears coming up. "Me too," he choked.

Sticking her hands in her pockets, she remained silent. As if she were waiting for one last comment, she stood still. But when that comment never came she gave up as easily as she'd caved in, and walked past him. But watching her go wasn't easy for him, and it wasn't what he wanted. So he grabbed her arm and spun around to meet her, pressing his lips firmly against hers and refusing to let go of her arm. He knew that he'd messed up. He knew that he would never get this chance again, and he knew that whether or not she slapped him in frustration didn't matter.

That was it.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as they stood still with their lips wrapped around each other's, struggling to believe that this was it. But as soon as their lips separated and they stared into each other's hurt eyes, they believed it. And he let go.

She wiped the tears as she walked back to the door, opening it up and breathing in the fresh and awaiting air on the other side of the threshold. But just as he'd grabbed her arm and forced her to feel his love for her, she turned back and took one last moment to see him in that same light he'd seen her in.

"For whatever it's worth, I would have understood. And I hope that whatever they give you is worth it," she explained, before turning back and taking that leap across the threshold, breaking their bond.

And just like that, it was over.