Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, nor do I own the song I used for this.

Starring Roles

Sometimes, she felt like a big mess of a joke gone wrong, and sometimes she felt almost like a prostitute, and most of the time she just wanted to be as invisible as she felt.

He got undressed for her and all he gave her was a heartbeat, that was it. But for him, she came undone. She gave him her body and soul, not just her heart or her heartbeat.

There was some sort of unfairness that encompassed his fucking, especially as her legs shut tight over his hips. And he held her just like it was the most vapid thing in the world and tucked her away in his back pocket just like that.

She couldn't tell which was the easiest thing in the world for him to do anymore. To fuck her or to screw her over, but either way, she was getting fucked.

Over the years, they had quieted down whenever they did it.

And she didn't dare say a word. She said his name when he told her to, desperate, angry, and about to come, and sometimes she'd make these little noises, and he'd swallow them with his whole mouth burning against hers as if he didn't want to hear anything that came out of her gasping mouth.

Inuyasha was difficult to talk to, but he was no one new and nothing different.

At first, she didn't want to keep having sex with him. But she figured it would be the closest thing he had to feeling something for her besides hate, so like a fool, she fucked him, and fucked him again and again and again. And also, at first, she was contempt. Not happy, but in a place where she felt as if she wasn't exactly miserable, and her place was in his bed, in apartment 1406 most of the time. She wasn't contempt about the fact that he hated her, but feelings had faded away a long time ago, and sex was so much easier when you felt nothing towards the person you were doing such an intimate thing with. But again, at first she just wanted to keep fucking him (it's hard to let go of a person) but then she got greedy…and she allowed herself to crave for…for love once more.

She was roughly jerking against him as he grind into her, the delighted friction making her clasp the silk sheets so tight her knuckles were turning white.

Whenever his eyes accidentally met hers, they'd be cold, and he'd…he'd seem so void of anything. Getting those eyes out of her head was a hard thing to do, but she had to if she wanted to come. If she pictured all the coldness he held for her and allowed herself to feel everything, feel every single fucking emotion, she'd lose the intensity he always helped her build up.

It happened this time, his eyes were so different tonight. Not a single thing in them.

So he came inside of her, a vicious growl ripped from his throat and she opened her mouth for a scream…for something…and it never came. She never came.

Blame it on the emotion that pooled deep inside of her belly and made her feel like throwing up her dinner. Blame it on that fucking emotion that made you stay up all night about to rip all your fucking hair out. Blame it on that emotion that made you cower under your bed. Blame it on that emotion that made you want to say sorry, but you knew that sorry was just a word.

He looked at her curiously.

"You didn't come." He said, pulling away from her and pulling on his boxers quickly.

Most of the time things were quiet between them after sex, except for the part of her falling out of his bed and rushing to pull all her clothes on so she could just get out of there.

Maybe the only reason she came was for that one little high he gave her, that one little high that kept her coming back.

But there's always more to the story than just getting high off Inuyasha.

She was out of breath but she willed herself to sit up, a blush gracing the beautiful face that she harbored. Blue, soulful eyes and a physique that God had taken days to craft until its perfection was completely perfected.

He was looking at her again, and heat pooled between her legs once more and she wanted nothing more than to smash her lips against his, let him feel her from the inside out and not lose her high this time.

"I lost it." She told him, pulling on a flimsy shirt and sliding her shorts up her smooth legs.

Her heart sank a little when he simply nodded his head and turned on his side.

He never even told her goodnight anymore, or be safe walking home. Because you know, someone could just grab her up and decide to end her entire existence and then he wouldn't even be able to see her face anymore.

Sometimes she didn't think he minded.

XXXXX

He only called her when it was important or when he really needed a good fuck.

And even though she'd puked out all the substance from her body earlier that day, she left her apartment at 11:30pm like she always did, making sure to lock the door behind her.

And then she walked a block like she always did before she was knocking carefully at apartment 1406.

As soon as he let her in, she felt sick again but she waved it off and took a seat on the couch.

This was always how it started. She'd sit there politely, her legs crossed and her heart running a fucking marathon and she wouldn't look into his eyes, but she could always feel him staring at her. And then it would happen in a flash, he'd be towering over her with cold eyes and an icebox for a heart and he'd just…he'd kiss her like an overdramatic actor who was starving and fighting for his last shot.

She was against his bedroom wall now, not knowing exactly how it happened, legs wrapped around him and her hips grinding into his as he bit into her lip.

And all she could think was 'I'm so sorry, Inuyasha.'

He pulled away to take a breath, and she made the mistake of looking into his eyes again. Before she could decipher whatever he was feeling, her back was bouncing against his mattress and there was a hole between her heart and one between her legs and she knew which one he was desperate to fill.

Like filling in the blanks.

"You dressed different today," he said as he grinded his hips into hers, claws pulling at her shorts. "You don't look so…so…"

Now she never kissed him first, but she did today. She didn't want to feel her heart sink tonight, so she'd take him sinking into her instead.

He pulled back…panting.

"You smell different…"

She ignored him again, starting for his belt buckle and helping him get out of his pants.

Before she knew it, he was filling her up, making her take all of him. She was gripping onto those satin sheets again to keep from falling over, and he was fucking her in his favorite position.

He was roughly pulling on her ponytail, making her back arch like a feline, making her slam her hips back against his as he smacked her ass a little harder, as he went a little rougher and went a little faster.

He was grunting behind her and she bit her lip to muffle her sounds, burying her face into his bed sheets as she felt that intensity building up, that intensity that made her feel like she was going to lose it.

Pressure and lust gave away, and she cried out his name and with three more strokes, he was crying out to anything, falling on top of her.

Sometimes, she liked to lay there for a while to see how his muscles rippled under the moonlight as he struggled to catch his breath, or see the way his hair stuck to his forehead with perspiration, to see his Adam's apple as he gulped and tried to regain his composure.

And then, sometimes, he would just look out the window, or his eyes would catch hers for a second.

He was so beautiful when he was desiring the stars, the moonlight, desiring her body again.

But it was always over when it was supposed to be. They weren't a couple, they didn't do it over and over again or have a kiss in the moonlight that shined through his opened window and they didn't hold each other.

Inuyasha couldn't hold her like that anymore.

So she did the best thing she could ever do, and she left, disappearing into the midnight like always, but always wondering what he was thinking as he watched her go.

A/N: Reviews make a girl happy. This story came out of nowhere, btw.