Prologue: Ruination

I am ruination.

The power was everywhere, light shooting from my hands, my body, my soul. Heat engulfed me and shattered my senses like white-hot claws. I cried out as it flooded into me, the force of a thousand suns. I was light. I was dying. I was everything.

In seconds, it simply...vanished.

But right before it went, I made a last desperate effort. I reached across the bond between me and the Darkling, carving into his power, reaching farther than I ever had before. All of my breath left me. I could feel the shifting of shadows, the slithering of things in the dark, the hisses of nichevo'ya, and the haunting whispers of a mind corrupted by power. I seized his darkness as I had that night in the chapel and held it inside of me, clenching my jaw against a scream.

I will strip away all that you know, all that you love, until you have no shelter but me.

When my power disappeared, so did his.

Alina

The room was blessedly dark and cool. I wanted nothing to do with light for a while. Not after I had lost it on the Fold. Not after I had lost Mal. I burrowed deeper beneath the soft covers and willed myself to drift back into the safe numbness of sleep. I didn't want to deal with anyone right now. Tears left hot trails down my cheeks and I ran my thumb again and again over the scar on my palm. When I opened my mouth to sob, his name was the only thing I seemed to know how to say.

Mal. My Mal. Come back to me, please. I still love you. I still need you.

"Why?" I whispered, nearly choking on my own voice. "Why did this happen?"

A soft click sounded. A band of light widened across my vision as the door opened. I recognized the figure in front of it as Tamar. I squeezed my eyes shut as she walked closer. I couldn't bear to see the worry and sympathy glistening in her eyes. The bed creaked and dipped as she sat on the edge of it. She didn't say anything for a minute.

"Alina," she said tentatively. She was soothing and quiet, like I was an animal that might shy away from her. "You have to get up."

"No, I don't," I mumbled. I wiped at the tear stains on my face.

"I'm sorry. I wish you didn't have to do this." She laid her hand on my shoulder. "We all miss, Mal. Believe me, we do. But, Alina...there's...something you have to take care of now. Something we can't handle alone."

I heard the worry ringing in her voice and knew exactly what that something was. A little tremor ran through me from head to toe. That something scared me more than anything right now. One week. That was how long it had been since the Shadow Fold disappeared. That was how long it had been since Mal died, and Tolya, Tamar, and the others had taken me back to the Little Palace. One week locked in a bedroom, hardly eating, lost in my grief. One week since I'd given the Darkling's power away with mine.

"Tamar," I said in a small voice.

"What?"

"I'm scared."

"We're all scared," she replied gently. Her smile was kind. "We're in this together, no matter what happens. But, I think this is something we have to leave up to you and your judgement. Whatever you decide, we'll be right behind you. Okay?"

I nodded. I forced myself to take a deep, steadying breath. My pain balled itself up inside of me, an icy knot in my chest. It would take a long while for it to go away. But my grieving would have to wait for now. Tamar was right. There was something I had to do and only the Sun Summoner could be trusted to do it.

"All right," I said, pushing myself up. "Let's go."

The Little Palace had no cells for prisoners. It was supposed to be a place of luxury, where all Grisha went to train and educate themselves. They were treated like royalty. There wasn't any reason for there to be a dungeon waiting in the basement. Because of this, we had to put him in one of the many bedrooms of the dormitories, where there was no window to escape from. Tolya had locked the door from the outside and taken up a place in the hallway to guard our only prisoner. It was a surprise that he hadn't tried to kill that prisoner yet. Saints knew he had every right to.

When I strode down that hallway with Tamar by my side, Tolya's eyebrows shot up. He straightened immediately, but his gaze kept flicking to the door beside him. "Alina," he said. "Are you sure you want to do this today?"

I glanced at the door. A shudder ran down my spine. The icy knot in my chest threatened to break free. I swallowed it down again. "I'm sure," I answered. I didn't sound sure at all. I sounded broken. I looked up to see Tolya giving his sister a worried glance. I tried to stand straighter. "I'm fine, Tolya. It's better to get this over with and be done with it for good." Be done with it for good, I thought to myself. I doubt that's even possible. This won't be solved overnight, that's for sure.

Tolya ran one hand through his hair. "All right. Shout if you need us. We'll be right here the whole time." He fished a key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. The click seemed to echo in the tense silence, ringing in the air. Tolya licked his lips nervously. He glanced at me and took a step back.

I walked up beside him and stopped in front of the door. Closing my eyes, I steeled myself. This was it. I wrapped my hand around the doorknob. It was cool beneath my skin. Without giving myself a chance to back down, I opened the door and slipped inside, closing it behind me. I leaned against it, my heart pounding and my eyes wide.

The room was dim, just as mine had been. But it wasn't completely dark; a lone candle flickered on a table beside the bed. Its weak orange glow illuminated the walls and cast dancing shadows on the ceiling. It also showed the silhouette seated on the edge of the bed. His elbows rested on his knees and his shoulders were slumped forward in an exhausted way. He didn't look up when I entered the room. Just sat there, eyes fixed on the floor.

I took one slow step toward the Darkling. He stirred then and I froze. His voice slid through the air, hollow and defeated.

"Alina."

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. I gulped before I trusted myself enough to speak. "It's gone."

He kept his eyes trained on the floor. "What are you talking about?" he asked wearily.

"My power," I replied. "It disappeared the moment I joined the amplifiers. I'm nothing. And so are you."

"So you came here to gloat," he concluded. He glanced up at me then. His quartz-gray eyes glimmered in the candlelight. They were empty-looking. But they no longer held the unending abyss of eternity. Like me, he would live the rest of his life as a human with no power. We would both die of old age. He was just picking up where he had left off all those years ago.

"No. I didn't," I said. I took a step closer. "I came here to tell you what's going to happen to you."

"You don't have to." I blinked, caught off-guard, and he scoffed. "I'm not a fool, Alina. You can't think your soldiers or the Grisha, or anyone else is going to let me live." His gaze was hooded and bleak. "I'll be lucky if they don't torture me before they kill me. So you don't have to explain every detail to me."

I had no idea what to say. The past few days had been so full of pain that I hadn't thought about what would happen to the Darkling since the incident on the Fold. Without his power, he couldn't hurt or threaten anybody anymore. He was done leading armies and done ruling Ravka. He was done being Grisha. I knew that after all he'd done, he would have to live as a prisoner for the rest of his life, but I hadn't considered torture or...death. It made me feel sick to think about it, especially since I remembered the connection we used to have.

"That's not what I meant..." I trailed off. I bit my lip uncertainly at the expression on his face and hurried to explain. "I'm not going to kill you."

"If you don't, your people will," he replied, brushing off my words. He sighed and lifted his gaze to mine. "I know I'm going to die."

I dropped my eyes to my feet. Then I crossed the room, moving tentatively. He stayed still as I drew closer. I held my breath as I sank down onto the bed beside him. Then I simply sat there for a minute, close enough to feel his body heat, catch just a bit of his dark, clean scent...and feel him shivering. "They will not torture you," I said softly. "They won't execute you. They all think I'm dead, except for Nikolai and a few of the Grisha. We're going to move you out of the Little Palace for a meeting with Nikolai in a few days and then we'll come back when it's done. We're staying here until we can figure something out."

He chuckled humorlessly and shook his head. "I can't believe this," he muttered.

"What?" I asked.

"You're trying to save me." The candlelight gleamed on his soft raven hair. I almost couldn't see the faint scars on his face. "You think my mother was right; that there's still a chance I can be redeemed. You want to change me."

I wondered if I should argue with him, but I couldn't think of anything to say to this. "You said once that I might make you a better man," I reminded him.

"Do you really believe that you can?" he asked disbelievingly. "I've lived countless lifetimes, Alina. I've seen and done things you can't begin to imagine. I thought I would rule this country someday. Now, I have nothing." His words were tight then, nearly breaking. "I lost my power. I lost what made me me. What am I now?"

And all at once, it hit me. Every threat, every lie, every betrayal. I thought about Nikolai becoming a monster, about Baghra blinded and alone, about Mal's death, and the deaths of many others, all who had stood in the Darkling's way. It all rushed up inside of me until I couldn't take it anymore. I bolted to my feet and whirled around to face him.

"I don't want to hear about your power anymore!" I snarled. "I lost mine too! I lost everything! Mal is dead because of you! I've been through hell to stop you and so have all those soldiers out there!" I jabbed a finger at the door, where Tamar and Tolya were waiting outside. The Darkling looked up at me and I couldn't tell if he was stunned by my outburst or not. I didn't care. "You have no right to complain about anything," I growled vehemently. "You should be thanking me, because I could've left you to be killed on the Fold. I could've put a knife through your heart myself."

He glared up at me. "I don't owe you anything," he told me. "You've taken away everything I am. It's only fair I take away something of yours." The hint of a sneer curved his mouth. "So your precious tracker didn't survive?"

Anger and grief exploded in me and a red haze made the room go blurry. My eyes burned with tears. If I still had my power, I would've ended him right then. "You ungrateful bastard!" I shouted, and lashed out before I could think.

It was as if I'd blinked and missed what had happened. One second, I was standing over him, rigid with rage. The next, my palm was stinging and his head was turned away from me, a blank look of astonishment on his face. Fighting back tears, I realized that I'd slapped him.

The silence was thick in the air around us. I was breathing heavily, dragging my sleeve across my face. The anger wasn't fading. It was curling up deep in my mind to be dealt with again later. I lifted my chin and waited for his reaction. I had never hit the Darkling before. I was ready for him to fight back.

What he did then stunned me. It might have been because he thought he was going to die soon, but for whatever reason, his voice broke the silence first, a soft whisper. "I'm sorry."

I gaped at him. "Wh—what?"

He didn't repeat it. He let out a long breath and speared his fingers through his hair. "I need you to leave, Alina," he said. "I'll go with you to Nikolai and I'll stay here when we return. I won't cause trouble for you or your soldiers. But right now, I need you to leave."

"I...I don't understand..."

"Yes, you do." He locked his slate-gray eyes on mine. The candle's flame was reflected in them, a smoldering ember against his stormcloud-colored irises. "You understand more than I do. You had the tracker." He spoke like he was talking to himself. "You know what it's like to want someone. I need you to leave."

My heart skipped a beat at the mention of Mal, along with the meaning his words implied. "You need me to leave because you're afraid," I breathed with sudden understanding. "You're afraid because you actually feel something for me."

"Get out," he snapped, tearing his gaze from me.

I backed away. "Aleksander..." I began, but then I didn't know how to finish.

He closed his eyes and trembled slightly, the way he always did when I said his name. No one in the world knew it except me. He wouldn't look at me. "Don't," he said. "I can't...Just go, Alina."

So I did.