Author's Note: Well... Here. I've been playing around with the idea for a while, and finally typed it down. Even I have no idea where this'll go.

Grunting, I was glad that they buried my sorry ass in the ground with my stuff. Otherwise I would have suffocated due to being in a coffin underground.

Also, I'm glad that they don't have metal or stone caskets.

"Raagh!" I grunted, sticking my hand out of the ground in true zombie fashion. After a moment, I pawed around to find that there was only grass and a headstone around me. I grunted again, and clawed the dirt away from the hole.

This suit was fucking hot and I wanted out!

A few minutes later, I was peeling the stifling suit off of me, swearing in Russian. And I paused as I noticed my skin colour.

Forgetting all thoughts of getting out of my suit, I scrambled to the creek that was bubbling some twenty yards away, not believing what I had seen.

"What the fuck did this..." I breathed, touching the burnt side of my face, now showing a spider-webbed skull. Peeling off the rest of my suit and fatigues, I saw that what skin I was showing had turned a dull grey, all life having been drained.

Somehow, I was surprised, even though I shouldn't have been. I did die, and unless enbalming exists, I would have rotten flesh by now. I didn't have a nose, so I couldn't sniff myself to check my stench levels.

"Alright, calm down.." I muttered, running a bony hand through what little hair I had left. "I know Dawn didn't do this, considering that I would be a normal human, so that leaves necromancy. But who in Equestria would be insane enough to raise the dead?" I didn't even know if it was possible to raise the dead like I was, but in a world of magic, it was my best bet. Nobody was gonna believe that I had returned unless I had more proof than a dug up grave and my stuff, so I was going to have to dig deeper.

On to Canterlot. But first, a dip in the creek and a cloak or something to hide my dead-ness. I didn't feel the water flowing through my ribcage, which unnerved me a bit until I had to remind myself that I was dead and so were my nerves. And all major organs... Honestly, I'm surprised that I'm able to think, let alone talk. Considering that a brief inspection of my throat revealed that my esophagus had eroded away and I didn't have any vocal cords. Hearing was half understandable, considering that my ear drums weren't in the ear lobe, but they still should have rotted away by now.

"Right..." I finished washing myself and checked over my suit for anything useful.

I set off into town with a trench knife, pants, boot (the other wouldn't fit due to my bone foot), and a pair of aviators that somehow fit my earless head. I would have to break into Rarity's Boutique and fashion myself a cloak to hide my hideous body before even thinking of using the train.

Ponyville hadn't changed much since I had died, but the war memorial sitting in the middle of town square was new. I stopped for a moment to read the bronze plague on the bottom.

In Memorium of the Fallen Heroes
That Saved Ponyville, and Equestria as a Whole
From Tyranny and Enslavement

General Mark Durnkinscoff
Private Connor o'Drake
Staff Sergeant Lex Deurring
Master Sergeant Rick Duran
Senior Medical Officer Isaac Thompson
Private First Class Brandon Duffy
Lieutenant John Masterson

"Shit, Duffy didn't make it?" I muttered, slowly getting to my feet. "And the Lieutenant must've been the pilot." I looked around the deserted square, before nodding and heading off to Marshmallow's shop.

I knew that living in Ponyville had made Blake soft about security. I was able to fucking walk in through the front door! Looking around the main room, I quickly spotted the way upstairs. I had to go up there and risk waking the both of them (three, if Sweetie Belle is there) up, because she doesn't keep her supplies downstairs. With a quiet sigh, I placed my foot on the first step and winced when it creaked like a bitch.

I stood there for a fucking minute, waiting to hear Blake shout or something. Surprisingly, I didn't wake anyone up, but that worked in my favour.

I quietly scurried up into the storage room, and selected a bolt of dyed silk with a small frown.

"Sorry Rarity." I muttered, finding a needle, a spool of thread, and a pair of sissors, before getting to work.

Thanks to my uncanny knowledge of stitching and sewing (my mother), I had fashioned myself a working cloak that went down to my feet, complete with hood. To hide my face completely, I had a pair of aviators and a bandana for my lower face. The mirror in the room showed none of my body at a casual or brief glance, but one could tell that I was human.

I replaced the noticably thinner bolt onto the shelf and snuck back out, wondering how the fuck I was going to repay Rarity. I'm pretty sure gold dye was a litte hard to come by. I could actually feel the cloak and bandana's weight, so I knew that a little bit of actual gold was used with the dye. Still cut easily, though.

The train station was deserted, and a train was just sitting there like an asshole would in a public space. So I hopped on board, put a few bits that I had scavenged from the wishing well onto a table, and settled in for some sleep.

Even though I've had up to a year of it, I was still tired from all this sneaking about.

God... I don't even know how AJ would react to this. And my own child would probably wonder who the hell I am, if he or she was old enough to comprehend that s/he only had a mother at the moment.

I fell asleep with troubling thoughts.

The train whistle startled me awake. With a groan, I looked around the train car, seeing a few ponies having conversations. What really made me worry was the fact that Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, and Gallan were softly talking a few seats away. Pinkie looked over and waved, smiling like she always did.

"Morning~" She chirped, before going back to the conversation.

"I see that you're awake." Gallan said, moving over to the seat opposite mine. I shifted a bit so I faced him.

"Yeah. These seats are oddly comfortable." I answered, altering my voice more than the bandana did.

"I take it you know that you're not on Earth anymore?" Gallan sweeped his hand around the car. I chuckled.

"I've been on here for a few days." I shrugged. "A pony told me that I should go visit the Princess and get on my feet in Canterlot or Ponyville." I lied my ass off, and since I'm a pretty damn good liar, Gallan believed it.

"What's with the cloak?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Napalm." I simply answered. "Coated my entire body." He winced, but nodded.

"Right then." He cracked his fingers. "What's your name?"

"Captain Jacob Keyes." I answered. "Served in the Army for ten years so far." His eyebrows shot up.

"How'd you get promoted to Captain so quickly?" He questioned.

"I was in the 'nam, and the last Captain was killed by the Viet Cong." I answered. "Bastard was actually a smart officer; everyone under him loved him."

"Right." He looked back at the two mares behind him. "You wouldn't mind if I returned to my conversation, would you?" I simply gave him a shrug, causing him to excuse himself and go back to the others.

"...Have you heard about the ghost that's wandering around Appleloosa?" I heard someone ask another behind me. Shifting my head slightly to the right, I eavesdropped in on the conversation.

"You know that there's no such thing as ghosts!" A mare replied.

"It's true!" A southern voice cut in. Apple family. "Ah saw 'em with mah own eyes! Looks like that dead Prince feller, 'cept more ghost!" I binked at that. Why the hell would Blueblood, who was executed by a extermination squad, be haunting a farming community? Another question to ask Dawn when I arrive at the castle.

With a sigh, I settled in for a three hour ride as the train lurched forward.

"You heading to the castle?" I questioned Gallan as the train stopped in Canterlot Station.

"Nope, Wonderbolts show." He answered. "But I can give you directions, if you want." He then offered. After a second's pause, I nodded.

He told me the basic route that I use to get to the castle myself, before the three of them excused themselves and walked off towards the stadium.

With a sigh, I started off towards the castle, preparing to interrogate Dawn on why he thought it was a good idea to bring me back from the dead. Don't get me wrong, I like having a third chance, but why do I have to still be a corpse to do it?!