Epilogue Part II

Oh, normal life…

This just kept me entertained for a little while after that delightful ALS stunt. It has nothing to do with Loki but there is a mention of a library and it's not the kind of thing I'd ever publish on its own because how embarrassing. Oh, readers of Loki in the Library, I just thought you might enjoy it tucked away at the back of this funny little story. Let me know if you did!

I know that an exchange like this could never take place in such a public forum without the poor girl getting trolled to death by the fangirls. I should also say that I haven't been particularly fanatical with counting my characters. Disappointingly, this website doesn't let me format this the way I'd like to so you just have to imagine this in a Twitter feed, ok? I know you can do it!

This is borne out of an odd kind of sympathy I harbour for famous people who probably need no sympathy at all! Once upon a time they were normal people who could meet another human being without the baggage of celebrity. For TH's sake, I'm fixing him up with a girl who knew him before he was famous…

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True Love in 140 Characters or Less

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twhiddleston

Hello atNathanFillion. In reply. #IceBucketChallenge for #ALS. All yours Benedict & atTheRealLukeEvans. whosayamazinglinkofwettshirtness

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Inviting your own well-deserved objectification like the Adonis you are #classic

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom I think that was the most intriguing/enjoyable insult/compliment I've received in a long while.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston You said almost exactly that the last time I called you an Adonis. Prof Q's office circa 2002.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Esther? I thought of you the minute I read that tweet!

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston The very same.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Oh, the essay-writing hours I whiled away gazing at you across the library.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston And to think, you could have probably done alright at university if only you'd applied yourself.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom I don't think you're taking me seriously. Being called Adonis by the object of my affection (even in the office of The Smelliest of Profs) is one of my fondest memories of higher education!

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston You're such an optimist, T. If I remember correctly, I called you a preening Adonis!

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Well, as you and I are keenly aware, these myths are endlessly open for interpretation.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston That preening implication was, of course, blatant in this morning's tweet.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom As in the past, I chose to glean only the demi sex god implications.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Typical.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Oh, you. You in that labyrinthine library!

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston What? I don't remember you featuring in any of my library shenanigans.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Precisely.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Is there a particular incident I should recall?

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom One night I moved desks four times, each an attempt to be closer to you. I was playing a chess-like strategy that ultimately landed me the best possible seat from which to observe you agreeing to go out with that wally, Phillip.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Really!? I had no idea. I'll be dining out on that anecdote for the next decade!

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom How is dear old Phillip?

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston We haven't spoken since the end of that disaster date.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom No single piece of information has thrilled me more!

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston I suspect you exaggerate.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Ok, most thrilling this month. My life is very odd these days so that still counts as highly thrilling.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Your life does seem very odd indeed. Congratulations, by the way, on all of it.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Thank you, darling. What weird and wonderful things are you doing with yourself these days?

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Good Sir, I think you've cornered the market on weird and wonderful! I simply teach classics.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Carrying the torch! So proud!

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Even to the colonies! USyd, Australia. Dream job, has to be said.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom And, now that I know Phil was an abject failure, does my Lady Penelope still eschew suitors and await the return of her Odysseus?

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston The iconic Penelope does have some broader appeal than the surface and somewhat obvious romantic, does she not?

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Perhaps, but none of that will help me ascertain whether or not you're single. I'm interested because, well, you, and I happen to touch down in Syd two weeks from today. Drink?

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Oh, let's go out dancing for old time's sake. I can hide behind you if I run into any students.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Yes to dancing! A barbaric yawp! And I'm sure if we ran into any students of yours they'd be too busy trying to find desks to stand on.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Oh, don't. I'm still too sad about it.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Me too. Working out my grief by paying tribute every chance I get.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Right. Drinks and dancing on your arrival. And perhaps a guest lecture during your stay?

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Really? Love to! Think I can still recite The Odyssey.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Oh, I know you can, T. My diehard Ancient Greek students will be passing out in the aisles along with the fangirls.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Sorry to sound like a broken record but Odysseus, My Lady? Suitors?

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston No Odysseus to speak of. What suitors there are, mostly duds.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom YES! I am suddenly anticipating my Sydney trip much more keenly than before. It will be heavenly to see you again.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Judging by that international wet t-shirt competition you just won I'm going to suggest that you bear in mind that the years might have been kinder to you than to me.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom You will have the same eyes and the same smile, possibly even the same Maid Marionesque chocolate brown curls. But it is certain that the biting wit for which I first fell so hard is very much intact.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Eyes, such as they are, now permanently obscured by the specs I used to only need for reading.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom De rigueur in your profession no doubt? And I loved you in those specs – always found them compellingly sexy.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Maid Marionesque chocolate brown curls (you're very kind - Prince of Thieves was a dream of mine) flecked with silver - perhaps the compulsory dust and cobwebs of the Classics Dept.?

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Prince of Thieves! You have always been Marion in my eyes. Putting Bryan Adams on right now. Besides, no one even knows if I'm greying. Haven't been my natural colour since about the time I last saw you.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Wit, which I think you remember more fondly than it ever deserved, significantly dulled by academia. I mostly get by on dad jokes these days.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom Two weeks, E. Let me be the judge of the eyes and the smile and the hair and the wit. I often think of you. Oh, the grief of parting having stayed silent and unrequited.

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Dearest Adonis, looking forward to it.

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twhiddleston

atpenelopeattheloom P.S.: You think I won the wet t-shirt competition?

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penelopeattheloom

attwhiddleston Hands down.

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Go on, leave a review if you like this sort of thing. Twas lots of fun to write and it only took me an hour! I could fit a few more of these into normal life if I thought people might like to read them!