EIGHT

The Mortality

035 The Score

"If you die and I live, there is no life for me in District 12. You're my whole life. I would never be happy again."

-Peeta Mellark

"I would gladly watch myself lose what I already have lost a thousand times over than lose you even once."

-Uchiha Sasuke

The three-day tribute training breezes by like mere seconds and Hinata's palms could not stop sweating.

Such is an understatement because in the end, those three days of watching killing machines warm their "rusty" bodies up for the big day sounded almost like a welcome respite for what is to come. Not unlike fattening the livestock before the feast, as she remembers Naruto darkly remarking once. And with her totally unimpressive stint in the training during those times, she felt like she is the most edible one of them all.

"They still want you as an ally." Sasuke reassures her, as though seeing her distress. He has a knack of doing that. And somehow, with the thought of her impending death weighing over her head, it feels intrusive, invasive. She feels like for once, as much as she appreciates him, that she deserves to be alone in her consuming thoughts. Sasuke has been persistently optimistic about all this, it almost felt unlike him. "This Games is more than just being able to kill someone. You should know this by now. It is a battle for sponsors, Hinata and so far, you are in the lead."

She stays silent amid Sasuke's short lecture about sponsorship. He glosses over the details, refers to a lot of things by euphemisms. She is drowned by the endless pit of his sad, obsidian eyes. Those same eyes which are broken but is still trying to not shed tears for her sake.

She decides then, that she would be strong too.

During the last day of training, they hold a brief of meeting between mentors and tributes. She has not seen Kurenai in a while, even though they stay in the same unit. Tsunade, on the other hand had been a constant fixture of her whole three days. The older woman is surprisingly extremely knowledgeable about plants and survival tactics. Though she probably still would not be able to stand a chance against any of the other victors, Hinata feels confident that she would not starve to death in the arena.

In those three days, the perpetually inebriated Tsunade sounded like she actually could be relied on.

Kurenai looks even more beautiful than the last time she saw her, if that is possible. Sasuke had mentioned that while Tsunade is mostly useless in the sponsorship side of mentoring thanks to her brashness and abrasiveness those rich snobs could not stand, Kurenai's silver tongue is more than enough to compensate. The red-eyed woman regally takes the small between the four of them like she has never done before, alluring and authoritative. She announces that their bets with the rich guys are looking good. Hinata wonders if she too, has to sell her body to guarantee their spot.

She shivers at thr thought.

"They would be scoring you tonight though." Kurenai drones on, eyebrows cocked towards Sasuke. To which he only nods in response, Kurenai purposefully resumes. "As you two know, all work that I am doing now could be easily undone by your rating. Sponsors may favor the attractive ones but everything will be for naught if that person in question does not have what it takes to survive through the bloodbath. While it is true that these Games are unique in the sense that the viewers are aware of what exactly you are capable of, there are still a lot of unpredicted factors. You could have either improved or deteriorated over the break and that is a decisive factor on whether you are worth betting on or not."

"Ah. Were they planning to compare our scores in the original Games to our scores now?"

Kurenai hums in agreement. "Yes. Flash them side by side. That sort of thing. Hinata, you got a four last year. I knew Sasuke did tell you that scores did not matter then but it does now. You guys, have to score as high as possible. You once played in the Games. All of you once played in the Games. You have dealt your cards and you have to show them again now. You have to convince the world that you have gotten better. No more playing the silent killer card."

Hinata holds her tongue from saying what she really thinks.

Easier said than done.

Kurenai drones on. "Sasuke, on the other hand, got an eleven in his Games. Maintain it, I would say. Anything higher would be too much. We would not want you to be a primary target because you scored a twelve. Although one point lower would mean questions if you were worth betting on. Expectations are high. It's tough."

"That is easier said than done though." Tsunade thankfully voices out Hinata's treacherous thoughts and for a moment, she is disoriented. "Sasuke here is an overachiever, yes so it will be easy for him to throw some weapons around to impress them. But the training scores will be given by the Gamemakers. And he promised that this year will be different, did he not?" The blond victor turns to Sasuke. "I do not know much about your brother but is there any chance…"

"I do not know what he plans to do." He cuts her off a little too sharply and harshly. For several breathtaking seconds, there is silence before Tsunade takes the hint and just continues.

"At any rate, the whole thing is objective. Personal prejudice will be at play. Hinata here would have it easy because her Games is a recent memory. I'll give her six or seven tops. Do not overdo it, girl. It would be easier for you to be mediocre in a Games with people who knew each other for a while."

"I would like to also point out, to add to Tsunade-san's surmise." Kurenai straightens. "that they do seem to have a new criteria for judging tributes."

She sees Sasuke frown in deep thought. "What do you mean?"

Kurenai's countenance is desolate but contemplative. "The new Gamemaker is apparently the most original they have in years." She meets Sasuke's eyes. "And he sounds like more of a threat than the other victors."

…

036 The Illusion

"You save my life. You gave me a chance. To do something."

-Primrose Everdeen

"Sasuke-kun. He was there with me all along. When I lost Naruto, he was right there. He had been my anchor. My soundboard. I couldn't be more thankful to have him all this time."

-Hyuuga Hinata

The avoxes usher them to an eerily quiet waiting room.

The atmosphere is still tensed, charged with raw emotions. But when the parade is one with camaraderie and competitiveness ruled the training room, this one is a room with trembling, anxious people. Sasuke and Hinata are seated to the chairs reserved for Konoha. They are the second to the last to go. Three sets of chair are already made vacant so they must have been through already. The only way they would know is when the next name is called.

Unlike last year, it appears like the tribute who came before would not pass the same hallways as the one who would come next. It has been an effective additional stress as seeing the confident stance (or the almost tangible regret) would certainly provoke reactions to the next tribute. This year though, it felt like the contestant comes in through the ominously painted double doors and never comes back.

She wonders if she ever will come back from all this.

Sasuke holds her hand.

She had the feeling then that strong, self-assured Sasuke is certain this would not just be a simple weapon-handling demonstration. "Nii-san… Aniki is not one who could be tied down by conventions. " Sasuke had told her on the way to this room. He looked drained. He looked years over his real age. "He had always been interested with how the human mind works, how to deceive it and…"

How to break it.

"Uchiha Sasuke. Konoha."

He squeezes her hand before rising from his seat. His shoulders were hunched, as though he had resigned himself with what was coming. The man wordlessly escorts him towards the double-doors. Sasuke's expressionless face looks back before it closes completely.

He does not come back.

It was an excruciatingly long time before her name is called.

The halls leading to the Gamemaker's showroom are pitch dark, soundless and almost endless. Her senses are dumbed down five seconds into the abyss as the door closes behind her and she could not hear her escort breathing beside her anymore. She was alone, walking eternally through the black void, her own harsh and palpitating breaths the only indication that she was still alive.

Then there was a spark.

And right there, Hinata knows that the test has begun.

"Hinata!"

The voice calls for her and for a moment, she finds out that could not move. Naruto's voice repeatedly beckons for her to come., come, come join me. He sounds just like he did in life. He sounds just like he did…

"Naruto-kun!" She manages to call through her parched throat. She tries to take a step forward, where she is sure she can see his blond hair. His beautiful, blond hair. She does not her own voice. Naruto continues calling. Hinata. Hinata. Hinata!

"Hinata!" she hears. Naruto materializes, lifelike and smiling. And tanned fingers suddenly reach from all the blackness, extending towards her, closer, closer, closer….

"You're beautiful, Hinata." The voice changes and the darkness melts away so suddenly that it hurts her eyes. But Hinata takes no notice as Naruto morphs away into something else. Bright, sunny hair swirls into a long, dark one as a place face amidst a white background replaces her surroundings. "You are beautiful, Hinata." Haku repeats, smiling. You're beautiful. Then there was fire, there was fire, there was fire.

"Why couldn't you save me, Hinata?" And she is not sure who is asking that question anymore. The voice of her mother mingles with Haku's desperate plea. Somewhere, there is a baby crying. The white comes crashing down into an avalanche as Hinata screams that no, she tried. Please, she tried. She should have died. She should have died. She should have died.

"You're a disgrace, Hinata-sama." And it is Neji's eyeless face that emerges from the rubble, nothing like the kind cousin she remembered. "You're a disgrace, Hinata-sama." And the words repeat like a mantra as Naruto's bruised face, Haku's disfigured, burning corpse, her mother's swollen cheeks appear one by one. "You're a disgrace. You're a disgrace. You're a disgrace. You're a disgrace." And their cries merge into endless cacophony of desperation and admonishment. Hinata could not even feel her hands to cover her ears.

Then amidst everything else, she remembers…

"These people died for you…"

Sasuke .

"These people died for you. You should live for them."

Sasuke.

"I'd die for you too."

Sasuke.

"Because I wouldn't let them take what is mine again."

"Hinata I love you."

Sasuke.

"I'd die for you too." She manages to say.

"I'd live for you too."

"Sasuke!" And she wants to reach him.

And it ends.

037 Target

"You promised me that you would save him over me! You promised me! You're a liar! You're a liar!"

-Katniss Everdeen.

"You promised me that you would save him over me! You promised me! You're a liar! You're a liar!"

-Uchiha Sasuke

Hinata got a rating of twelve.

And all hell breaks loose.

What happened back there has clearly broken more than one tributes. Sasuke barely notices his rating of four as he stares blankly and aimlessly ahead. They haven't talked about what he saw. The next thing Hinata knew, she was being dragged away in a stretcher, groggy and disoriented. The deceased's faces are beginning to disappear into the dismissed throes of a bad dream. She has had so many of those that she knows what is real and what is not. Hers has always been a life of paranoia, living in the illusion that everybody thinks ill of her when they don't. That her father did not love her even when he certainly did. That Neji hated her. That Hanabi never liked her.

And she had realized that perhaps, she really had to begin believing in herself.

Sasuke did, after all.

Sasuke.

I can't afford to lose him too.

For once, there is silence as the broadcast of the training scores draws to a close. The mentors did not try to squeeze from them the events leading to the rather dismal scorecards that were just shown. Hinata is eternally grateful. Sasuke does not volunteer a single word all throughout, the major score downgrade seemingly the last thing in his mind.

Hinata does not have to wonder what he has seen out there.

If there is anyone who would know how a human mind works, it would be the genius gamemaker, Uchiha Itachi.

If there is anyone who would know how Uchiha Sasuke's works, it would be his older brother, Uchiha Itachi.

Tsunade breaks the ice when she remarks that the whole thing, this whole thing, this whole Quarter Quell has been an unexpected turn of events so far.

While the Capitol certainly is no stranger in playing mind games with their tributes, it had not been as blatant and magnanimously effective as this.

Uchiha Itachi truly is unprecedented.

To sum it up, the ones who got a decent score could literally be counted by one hand. And even that is a stretch. Gaara follows her by a close second, scoring eleven. The rest did not fare as well. Even Temari barely scratches what is considered "decent" with her seven flashing obnoxiously alongside her ten in the previous games.

Hinata had no idea how she could have done the best when everyone else clearly did not.

"It is called Tsukoyomi." Itachi would later cite in one of those late-night Pre-Games Preps Interviews. Sasuke has not spoken a word all night and Hinata does not try to force it out of him. He would come around when he's ready, she convinces herself. He would be back to his strong, confident self the next morning, telling her that they would survive, they would live, that he loves her and that he would not lose her.

And so for tonight, she allows one night with them in different rooms. She does not know what he is up to. She cannot bear to think about what runs through his mind. Hinata sits through the night watching people plotting her death, smile in cameras and telling them that they have prepared the best show of all time.

Had she been a person preoccupied with vanity, she would have appreciated the fact that they were trying so hard to make her death as poignant as possible.

Uchiha Itachi is charming on screen.

She could see the resemblance. The firmness in his words as he spoke through his deep, baritone is guaranteed to keep the attention of even the most skeptical televiewer. Sasuke had a presence onstage so similar that if she had doubts that they were brothers, it was all thrown out of the window. The Head Gamemaker this year has apparently become almost as popular as the tributes themselves, appearing in most shows, speaking of his plans. He sells originality. He sells uniqueness. He talks of the future in the same seamless way as he evades questions about his past. When asked about how he would deal with his little brother in the arena, he would merely scoff that this was nothing personal.

"And anyway…" He would proclaim. "…you wanted drama, didn't you?"

Somehow, coming from him, it did not sound like well-veiled sarcasm.

There was a twinkle in his eye that makes Hinata momentarily doubt his façade though. He was convincing. He sounded almost genuine in his well-adjusted front of sadism. But where was the boy who screamed so desperately when his brother volunteered for tribute in his place?

Hinata did not know Itachi but the display of brotherly love back then, as Sasuke climbed up the stage in the Justice building was real. She knew it was. She knew…

She banishes the thought from her mind as she wills the hologram to turn itself off. Too much optimism would lead to merely wishful thinking after all. And in a place where the harsh of reality of dying comes close to them every passing second, this is the last thing that either of them needed.

Remember who the real enemy is, is what lulls her to a fitful sleep.

038 Mourning

"Are all of you happy with the Capitol? After all, we are all your Gods."

-President Snow

"Of course. That was just a prototype. The entire arena is an infinite, fucking Tsukoyomi."

-Uchiha Sasuke

They make her wear mourning clothes for the interview.

They are capitalizing Naruto and Haku's death just like they did Neji's and it makes Hinata sick in her stomach.

The dress is a beautiful, she would not dare deny that. As revolting as the man is, Yakushi Kabuto is still a genius. Somehow, he had masterfully executed each element of what made her Games memorable and what would certainly will be eye-catching in this one in just one masterpiece. Fire sparks every time she makes the slightest twirl as she surveys herself in a mirror that projects back a beautiful woman she barely recognizes as herself. "Like a tree goddess." He comments of the black-colored leaves around her midriff. "A tree goddess in lamentation."

She remembers a story when she was younger, smuggled through hushed whispers and illegal bedtime stories. The Capitol never approved mythology for they only had one and only deity. The story is that of Persephone being taken away from her field of flowers and mother's embrace by the God of Death. Tainted her so badly that two seasons per year, the flowers wilt and are covered in a white sheet of snow, to convey her sadness and desolation.

Perhaps, this is her winter. Perhaps, just like Persephone's stay in the underworld, this is just temporary. And she each year, she would have a chance to go back to her field of flowers again, forgetting that she had to cross Styx again after spring. Perhaps, she would survive this and become a mentor like she thought she would be, spending half a year pretending all is dandy and unicorns while trying to forget that she would send another child to their death in the latter part.

Perhaps this is her winter, dangerous and unforgiving. And she would have her spring again someday, at the end of the tunnel, like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

There were other versions of the same story too.

In some, Persephone falls in love with Hades.

The stern, lonely god who was disillusioned many a time by his own family's betrayal.

She did not know how she could feel poetic at a time like this as she watches Sasuke get fussed over by a team of his own stylists. He was as perfect as ever, hair combed back and his hair seemingly longer than it was the last time. It did not elude her on what they were attempting to do. In his dark mourning suit, Sasuke looked more like Itachi than ever.

Oddly enough, he does not protest and silently lets those he once referred hotly to as flamingos fix him up. More than once, he meets her eyes and Hinata realizes that she made a mistake of letting him be for the whole night. Sasuke looked no better than when he emerged from Tsukoyomi. As immaculate as he seemed to be, one could not just hide a broken heart.

But heartbreaks had not made Hinata immune to the perfection of his face.

Death.

She wanted to reach him.

Because perhaps, he is still stuck in the dark tunnel, helpless and hopeless.

And she would like to be his anchor to reality too, just like he is to her.

And so she makes a decision.

"Can you…" she finally voices out, startling the stylists. Kabuto pauses from whatever he is doing with her hair and stares at her open-mouthed. Hinata realizes that she must have sounded firm and authoritative for the first time in her life because even glassy-eyed Sasuke is rapt in attention. "Can you please give us a minute?"

The stylists seem to be at loss about what to do. They each were stuck in tableau of muted shock and disconcert. Hinata clears her throat and decides that she deserves this and does not need to explain herself.

"Please."

From behind her, she hears Kabuto sigh. "Five minutes." He tells nobody in particular and one by one, the flamingos leave the room.

It was just the two of them when Hinata kneels down beside him and takes his shivering hands to hers. "I'm sorry." She thinks of what he must have seen. His family dying over and over again. Those he killed. Those he believed he killed. Those he believed would die because of him. Many people died for Hinata. But many more people died because of Sasuke.

And he knows that. He thinks that. And he is consumed by that.

When Sasuke broke down in tears again for the second time during the Quarter Quell, Hinata realizes that she had come to rely to him so much, she did not realize that he needed her as much as she needed him too.

039 Love

"Everybody wants to sleep with you."

-Johanna Mason

"What I said there. It's the truth. I just wanted to be true to you, to everyone for once in my life."

-Hyuuga Hinata

They ask him about the woman he loves and he tells him that yes, you are right, she came here with me.

And the crowd once again goes wild because Victor-Sasuke is back and this is him at his best. Gone is the broken boy whose tears Hinata had kissed away in the dressing room. He is back in the shell he protected himself with. Sasuke is sure with himself as he echoes the sentiments of the previous victors. That this Games is wrong. That they should stop this. As Kurotsuchi from Stone puts it, everything is just so "fucked up".

They did not have time to censor that from the younger viewers.

Karui had opted to be more creative in her words when she cracked her own brand of guillotine humor. Twenty-three less lonely people in the world, she said, sounded like a better prospect than living on.

And while the victor's interviews ranged from anger, resolute resignation and to downright pleading the president to stop the Games, Sasuke challenges those in charge with his words. "And I'll be damned if you take Hyuuga Hinata away from me."

She already had a rehearsed response as she did expect them to keep asking about Naruto and Haku and those that made her Games watcheable. But Deidara is witty and could proceed with adlibs and Hinata does not know what to say when he asks her about how she felt with the confession instead.

This was not part of the plan.

The plan was to mourn publicly for Naruto, make them realize that more deaths were pointless. It would have been what he wanted, she had realized. He gave her that scar on her face for the exact same reason.

He wanted to be immortalized.

He wanted to be remembered.

"Hinata-san! Did you just know how many hearts Sasuke-kun has broken when he said that? You are quite the charmer, aren't you?"

But this is her Games now. Not Naruto's.

To win these Games, you have to be the main character.

"Sasuke-kun. He was there with me all along. When I lost Naruto, he was right there. He had been my anchor. My soundboard. I couldn't be more thankful to have him all this time. I loved Naruto. I still love him, I guess. And I will always love him. But Sasuke…"

And don't they always say, that the main girl gets all the boys?

"I love him." She tells the world.

And she takes the Uchiha crest from her neck, her district token.

"I love him." And though there is an ulterior motive, she is not lying.

Victor-Hinata is back.

And she would play the Games.

(TBC)

This is dedicated to WhiteGems. Thankies for you never-ending support. I am still alive and will write as much as I can. Things are looking up for me. I know I said that before but… well… haha

This chapter was a monster to write and I am still not sure if I am able to pull off what I wanted to come across. There is a lot of subtle foreshadowing about what is to come. I still appreciate reviews btw. At this point, they are what reminds me that I have so many readers asking for the next chapter haha.