Just A Nomad

Are you sane? Where's the shame?
A moment of time passes by,
You cannot rewind.
Who's to blame and where did it start?
Is there a cure for your sickness, have you no heart?

12 Stones, World So Cold

April of 1915, Belgium

World War I…

A war so great, so all encompassing, and so fueled by human pettiness that once I heard of it during my stay in China I knew I had to see it firsthand. Would risk being discovered to watch history unfold once again; much like I did during the Civil War, 30 Years War, as well as observing the rise and fall of the Swedish Empire among so many others.

History is what makes the world go round; feuds centuries old spanning generations dictate the direction of civilization itself, and seeing it happen firsthand is a passion of mine I can't help to indulge whenever I can. That would explain why I am currently sitting in a rather poorly constructed tree stand covered head to toe in some sort of camouflage overlooking the stalemate between German and Entente forces.

It would not, however, explain my excitement as I watched the Germans setup their new game changing toy.

Chlorine Gas.

It was used once before, but due to the weather was rendered inert. This would be the first time that mass chemical warfare was going to be used, and I had pulled many strings to ensure I knew exactly when and where the Germans would deploy this lethal weapon. As they unleashed the gas into the air and the winds began to move it towards Entente lines, I knew I wouldn't be disappointed, especially since some Germans got caught up in the gas themselves and began the agonizing process of dying by Chlorine poisoning.

I chuckled a bit at their expense. Bloody fools. The least they could do was make sure they didn't poison their own troops.

I could almost feel myself vibrate with excitement as the gas drew ever closer to Allied lines…

.

Closer…and closer…and…

The screaming started. Bingo.

Anyone who wanted to call themselves proficient in knowing the elements knew the effects chlorine gas had on the human body, so, theoretically, what happens when used on a mass scale is already known which is why the Germans decided to use it. Seeing it first hand, though…

Nothing could compare to watching an entire military's organization, discipline, and morale shatter upon meeting an enemy they could not fight and would give no quarter. Thousands began to asphyxiate as soft tissue in the lungs was destroyed while others stumbled literally blind as the chemical ravaged their eyes.

Then the routing started, and gunfire filled the air as German troops began to cut down those who tried to run from the chemical menace or were at least attempting to die with something akin to dignity. Both smart endeavors; dying blind, crawling, while slowly losing the ability to breath was not a death I envied. The entire situation had a kind of poetic justice to it all; the very trench tactics invented to halt mass offensives was making the gas attack that much more lethal, as Chlorine Gas is denser than the regular air, meaning bastions of defense became mass graves by design.

Looking over the slaughter with glee, I tried to calm down a tad bit.

After all, now that the flood gates were opened, I would be seeing many more lethal gasses unleashed en-mass on the battlefield, and that was a prospect I could get behind. There were vampires on both sides of this conflict and seeing how they reacted to something that would actually prove dangerous to them would be interesting.

It would also negate any need on my end to test how effective gasses are on the vampiric body; I already knew that spiking the food of a vampire is a seamless way of poisoning the body, but I had yet to test how airborne toxins would fare. This not so little war would take care of that for me.

History and science, my two favorite things together.

I smiled.

Perfect.

Was I always like that?

Kingdom of England, 1325

No…

Tiny feet padded across wood flooring, the dark of the night obscuring the features of a terrified little girl fleeing from monsters in the shadows.

My childhood, like most female nobles at the time, was short, sweet, and idealistic. Perhaps to make the transition from cherished child to political pawn more tolerable; instill a sense of duty.

Sweat poured down the brown eyed girl face and tiny huffs left her mouth as she frantically looked for someone, anyone, to save her from what she was sure to be her doom. Someone, or something, was stalking the child silently though the night, and there was not a guard in sight.

Yet she dares not utter a word, so terrified she was that the faceless menace would find her.

My days as an exited, star struck youth ended halfway through my tenth year of adolescence.

A rough, calloused hand clasped itself over my mouth.

Panic.

Fear.

Cloth rustling as still developing muscles strained against disciplined, controlled, unbreakable strength. A warm hand clasping itself over a mouth ready to scream and cool metal pressing itself against a delicate throat.

"Calm yourself, child."

Gentle whispers hardly piercing the veil of terror, yet still the words register, but the struggling does not cease. The man mutters a curse in Latin.

"I take no pleasure in harming small girls, do not make me."

Marginally louder with more force, the fight or flight response forces the small body still.

"Good. Now, I am to take you to whom hired me. I admire your spirit, but remember, there is always someone stronger than you. Tis better to know thy enemy and his assets so you may rob him of them than to fight directly."

The man paused, as if weighing something.

"A lesson you will soon learn, my dear."

It's odd, isn't it? How I remember this from a kind of outside perspective, as if it never truly happened to me. As if this never shaped me into who I was to become.

Of course, I know it did, I acknowledge it openly here in my own mind, but to admit it out loud? To utter this truth to the world?

I'd rather take it to my grave.

With almost complete silence the girl was forced through the seemingly barren castle, for even the torches that lit the halls every night were nowhere to be found. Past wooden doors with a fire blazing behind some with most dark; the journey did not take long, for the captor was swift.

In short time the pair stood before a door the girl knew well, for it was the guest room reserved for the most honored of visitors. 'Twas a room she had been told to clean many a time in order to acquire skill sets her parents deemed important.

A piece of parchment was slid underneath; in seconds the door was opened and the pair slipped inside. There, a familiar face, that of the young noble's parents' liege, talked in hushed tones with her captor. A fire roared in the fireplace and lit the magnificently decorated and masterfully designed room completely.

"As ordered, no one is the wiser she is missing."

"Well done. As planned, a horse is awaiting you outside that window, and the rope is under the bed. I trust you know what to do from here?"

"Of course."

The knife that was once at a young girl's throat was now lodged in the belly of the wielder's supposed master. Blood dribbled out from the older man's thin clothing, and before anyone else could react the weapon was swiftly removed and stabbed into the elder's neck.

"Natalie?"

That's not right. That wasn't my name…what was it, then? I never could remember the name I was given at birth. Don't really know why, and something inside me told me I don't want to look into it.

It's not important anyway.

"Hello? Earth to Natalie?"

After all, sentiment wasn't something I valued all those year ago. It still isn't, to a fading degree. There was no reason to look deep into the depths of my mind to search for something with no value.

Yet every time I think that an overwhelming sense of melancholy rushes through me. As the decades turned to centuries, and those centuries neared a millennium, my lack of customary emotional response to stimuli deepened. It became my defining feature. Who I was, what I was...well, I suppose what I am.

Not to say I didn't feel, but I conditioned myself to feel joy for different things then the general human and vampire population. Not many people get happy when they cut open another living thing, even less when that living thing was their own species. Few after that can stomach the idea of them being conscious.

"Hey!" -SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! -

Inhaling sharply, I was forced from my memories.

Blinking to clear my vision, I saw a concerned Alice and confused Bree.

Ah. I forget myself sometimes.

"Sorry about that. Got lost in some memories."

My short friend instantly shifted from concerned to interested and exited. She even began to bounce on her feet.

Bree and I shared a look.

"Cool! What was it about? A knight's glorious last stand? The parting words of lovers? Maybe th-"

What a romantic; I couldn't help but smile.

"Try World War One. I witnessed the release of chlorine gas on French troops in Belgium. It's one of my most easily recalled memories."

Excitement morphed to fascination and she tilted her head as if to ask why.

"I actually cut short my journey through India to rush back to Europe to get a glimpse of history in the making. Of course, I never thought I'd see the first use of chemical warfare in the modern era, but it was certainly…memorable. You remember the Great War from your time as a human, Bree?"

"N-No. Not really. With Jasper's help all I can remember is the basics. Who I am, my family, and a friend I was close too before…"

She trailed off and broke eye contact, staring into the wilderness around our ragtag group.

"Ah. I'll have to teach you about it, then. I think you'll like the stories I have to share."

I saw a ghost of a smile appear on the newborns face and a feeling of warmth spread through my chest. Apparently, I had a soft spot for kids all of a sudden. I resigned myself to the feeling; since I met her Bree instantly seemed special to me. No point in questioning it now.

"I'd like that. Thank you."

I nodded and shifted a bit, still not fully used to these feelings of attachment. I noticed Alice trying and failing to restrain a smile. I narrowed my eyes and she winked in response.

"Anything else you can remember easily? Somethin cool and romantic and old timey?"

I shook my head in amusement.

"The real history behind what was written is a lot darker. If you really want to know about it, then I'll tell you, but it's going to take awhile. You need context and background information I know you don't have. As far as I know I'm the only one to really record history from an objective perspective with vampires involved." I shrugged at her crunched up expression. "Any books written by human or vampire hands and published were purged with extreme prejudice. I imagine a few brave souls recorded anyway and laid low, but, surviving as a vampire back then was…a lot more difficult."

"Why? Nowadays seem pretty harrowing still." I glanced at Bree and saw she was attentively listening as well.

"The Volturi today rule with an iron fist with the help of human inventions; planes are much faster than swimming the Mediterranean or sailing. Phones and the internet have globalized information in a way that just wasn't the case centuries or even decades ago." Alice seemed to get it but Bree looked a little confused still. Time to boil it down a bit. "Imagine an all-powerful police force just without cars in a city, Bree. Make more sense?"

"A little, yeah, but…" She hesitated, seeming torn.

"Questions are quite alright. Go ahead."

Looking more confident, Bree asked, "Why not just station people in, like, outposts all over the world then? It would reduce how long it takes to police the world."

A fair question, but one only asked without understanding strength in centralization.

"The Volturi are practically unbeatable when together; from the most skilled to most gifted, those with power gravitate towards those who make the rules. As a result, they have some of the most experienced vampires in existence; this has always been true, as their enemies never won, and were killed unless they possessed an extremely potent gift." I looked at Alice for a moment "Such as Jane and her brother; they broke all the laws but exceptions were made. They are a walking display of ruling class hypocrisy. More accurately ruling class privilege."

Alice nodded, I looked back to Bree.

"But, if you split their power up, glaring weaknesses begin to appear. They only have a few truly gifted members with combat roles; when they engage they use those gifts as a pillar in their doctrine. Disable, disband, exterminate is the name of their game; without the cripplingly over powered gifts to force multiply, Volturi forces are incredibly vulnerable to a Newborn rush. See where this is going?"

The teen ran a hand through her hair to stall for time.

"I think so; a bigger version of what's happening here would happen just without the Cullen's having the gifts they do. So…it would be a curb stomp?"

I nodded, smiling.

"Essentially; the only reason Victoria didn't rush us is because of the age we live in and because of this girl" I kind of pointed with a tilt of my head to Alice. "who for all Victoria knows is all knowing and can just poof us away when needed. Now, obviously since she caught us off guard, she now knows Alice can't see everything. Still a matter of gambling on what we do know though. With you gone, I don't think we have much to worry about for at least a month."

Alice tilted her head to the right.

"How do you figure that?"

I glanced around us quickly to verify the shifters still hadn't showed. A thought just occurred to me.

"They know about Bree?"

Said teen shifted in discomfort at being to center of attention.

"Yeah. Carlisle hammered out a spot for her, since she's in a…unique situation they were much more accommodating."

Humming my acknowledgment, I noticed…three? Four? Heartbeats on the edges of my hearing accompanied by heavy footsteps. I raised an eyebrow at Alice to see if she noticed it too; she smiled at me to confirm. I began to stare at Bree and crossed my arms.

"Hear that?"

Bree scrunched her face in confusion.

"Hear what?"

Excellent control but muted instincts; I guess that should have been obvious but she needed to start getting a hold of her new capabilities. Especially her senses, they seemed to be truly suffering.

"Concentrate. Tell me what you hear."

The teen closed her eyes and took an unnecessarily deep breath.

"Birds, too many to count. Raccoon in the tree above you? Uhm…"

Bree stopped talking and I gave her a few seconds to mention anything else. She should be able to hear them no problem by now. Concerning. Judging by Alice's befuddled expression she thought so too.

"Oh!" She started, opening her eyes and looking behind me. "Footsteps from that way; I can see four people…three guys and one girl? All really, really tall."

I turned my head to look; I couldn't see them yet. Narrowing my eyes, I blocked out everything but my sight; now I saw them clearly.

Interesting. Very interesting.

I blinked before I could really look at Leah. I was nothing if not devoted to avoiding my problems for as long as possible. The fact I never trained myself to fight was glaring evidence of that. I had a few lazy ideas on leveling the playing field but they wouldn't be much use if I didn't have even the basics.

I figure I could have stood a slim chance against Jasper if I fought full strength from the start; if I learned how to fight that small chance would go up drastically. To the point where I'd be willing to bet on myself.

Still. I would always be a glass cannon if I go full out from the start. I'd need to start carrying blood around with me or something to recharge.

"Give em about three minutes tops Alice?"

She tapped her chin twice and nodded with a smile.

"Alright. Good. One-hundred eighty seconds. Great." I shook my arms out, as if they could cramp up, and ran a hand through my hair.

Alice's bell like laughter made me glare at her.

"You're adorable when you get nervous. Just be yourself. Believe in destiny!"

I didn't believe in that garbage; couldn't. Refused to. If I did then I might go mad. But I wasn't about to get into a philosophical argument now.

I waved her off. "Yeah yeah, destiny and all that. Everything happens for a reason yadda yadda. Figures the chick who sees the future is all about destiny."

She laughed harder, only calming down after a solid half minute.

The she gave me a look I couldn't quite place. Partly because I didn't want to, mostly because I was in denial.

"You've changed so much, Natalie. I'm happy you ran into us."

I grumbled and kicked at a non-existent rock.

"It's been an experience."

Footsteps were close; I noticed Bree was silent not out of comfort but nerves. She was practically twitching. Poor girl.

I got in arms reach with a few steps and planted a hand on her shoulder, getting her to look me in the eye.

"Calm down, Bree. You have nothing to fear; even if they don't keep their word, we will protect you."

"O-oh! Uhm…" She glanced at Alice who must of done something. I didn't look. "Thanks. I just. I know after what you showed me V…Victoria isn't my mother, but she is my maker. I don't know what I'll do if I see her again. You're all so nice and caring and forgiving…but…its dumb. I feel like I owe her. I…I'm afraid that all this will come crashing down because I do something stupid."

I resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow; I knew by now most took that as me mocking them to an extent. It was simply a quirk of me expressing genuine interest. That answer was a little more than I bargained for.

Luckily, the answer to this was simple.

"Then don't do something stupid." I tapped her temple with my free hand. "You have a better brain for a reason, and it's not to idle with indecision. This is your life, and you must choose to live with what you do with it." I paused, giving Alice a meaningful stare, before shifting back to Bree.

"If you truly wish to find Victoria and help her, I will not stop you. I advise you do it before they get here; I doubt they will be as accepting as us." I let go of the teen, signaling she was free to go. "Now, I think you have about fifteen seconds. If what you want is not here with this Coven, leave now, or forever hold your peace."

Bree's face shifted through looks of panic, fear, confusion and finally contemplation in a matter of about eight to nine seconds. When our matching red eyes met they were filled with determination and confidence.

Her choice was made. She would be staying.

Our resident pixie let out a breath she was holding in. Funny how those human habits hold over. She gave me a look that told me I would have to explain that little episode to her later.

Fair enough. I did essentially just recuse myself of the whole 'don't let Bree get involved' duty. Oh well. Shifters were here, bigger fish to fry now. I sized Bree up one last time before facing Leah's group.

The first one I saw was my mate. Still the most beautiful woman I've ever known, and for the first time I felt a common connection coming through. She was genuinely happy to see me.

Happy. To see me.

I think my heart might have beat for a moment or two.

With a dopey smile on my face I turned my attention to the other three.

Jacob, Sam and…Paul? In that order. Paul looked pissed, but if memory serves he just looked like that. Always. As if losing in tic-tac-toe would set him off. Jacob was more lukewarm; looking closer his body language gave off an air of annoyance; maybe boredom? As if he didn't need nor want to be here. Sam was a blank slate for the most part outside of a minor eye narrow at my smile. It didn't bother me. Couldn't care less what that muscular meathead thought of me.

It was then I noticed Alice hadn't taken on the usual role of social leader. The flickering of his eyes towards everyone else in the group snapped my attention away from him for a split second, but something...primal in me demanded I let this man know I would not be intimidated. I was no sheep, even if I fought like one. Time passed, I saw sweat form on his skin, I knew my pupils dilated when I heard his heartbeat increase. His Adam's apple bobbed and his fingers twitched. His eyes flickered over to someone beside him...

I relaxed. I won.

"I take it you know what we want?"

Jacob glared at Sam and took point.

"Kinda. We know you want to try something with your 'gifts' and promised it could make beating Victoria easy if it worked out. Other than that vague promise and wanting Leach to be around...no. What are you doing anyway?"

"Ahhh. It would take awhile to explain it properly. Long story short, I know you have a type of 'pack mentality' that results in high level telepathy over long distances. I've had limited success with this feature of mating with L-Leah" Dammit, don't fumble you idiot. "and have a running theory that all types of mental manipulation can be expanded. Not for you, as your is strictly mate and species based, but on those who are able to form those connections forcefully. Such as Bree's ability to cause one to lose control of their muscles, or Edward's ability to read minds."

"In the past I've managed to replicate this link with myself and two other vampires; it took a long time to accomplish, and it will take something of a miracle to replicate it now, but if done we would be able to give information and communicate long distances without the need to speak."

I stopped, letting the four digest that. I'm not entirely sure Paul was even listening. Sam spoke up first.

"You need Leah for that, why?"

Ah. Troublesome question. To be honest or not to be. I looked to Leah and saw her features had since cooled to indifference; I didn't quite like that look. Not sure what it meant either.

"I find it...difficult to work while away from her. For a time the physical and mental distance between us allowed me to focus on other things, perhaps have a level of normalcy. However whatever triggered when Victoria attacked me has intensified the need to be by her. It is not insurmountable, of course, but I do not like the feeling."

So I settled for mostly honest. Tis a start! Just don't look at her, don't look desperate. Be yourself.

I looked at her. Gods she was beautiful, even with an expression that was the definition of conflicted. I knew I was making some stupid face, I could feel it.

"Then you will have to learn to deal with it."

Sam now had everyone's undivided attention, and mostly negative. Jacob looked about done with him in general.

"Sam, I am a part of your pack, not a slave. I can make this decision for myself."

Leah hadn't looked him him while saying that, she was more looking past him to Jacob. Huh.

"No, you can not. You are not in the right state of mind. I can order you to leave and never come back here if I wanted, but I'm not that kind of leader."

"Bullshit! To both of those. You and I know you can't do shit, now fuck off, the leaches and I have some weird mind shit to do."

Silence. Sam looked like he was in pain a little. Jacob and Paul both tensed, ready to pounce, but at who I didn't know. Leah snorted and flicked her leader off with a nonchalance I loved. Damn she's hot. Just imagining her above me with those biceps-

Oh.

Okay. Let's stop. Not here. It's been...awhile. Yeah. Moving on.

I think I missed something; now its just us and Leah.

"Hello there! I know we've met, but not really! I'm Alice, and this is Bree. Pleased to meet you!"

Oh Alice you are the best. Leah waved awkwardly.

"Hi there. Leah, I guess. Could you...give Natalie and I some privacy for a second? Would appreciate it."

The sound of chimes echoed. "Of course! I wanted to take a job with Bree anyway, right Bree?"

"Sure? But-"

"Its settled then! Bye!"

With a yelp Alice drug Bree away with an exited giggle.

How...cliche. I began to play with my hair and sway side to side, unsure as to what I was supposed to do now.

Be yourself. Come on. Easy!

"You wanted to talk?"

The shapeshifter looked up for a few seconds, breathing deeply in and out. "Yeah. I did, but, I'm not really good at the whole communication thing."

I chuckled, "That is something we share then. Expression has never...been my strong suite." Leah smirked.

"I'm plenty expressive, but only when i'm pissed...so most of the time. This is going to be weird; can I touch you?"

Eh?

"Eh?"

"Look, just. This is like the third time I've seen you torn to bits. Please?"

Well, how could I say no to that? She said please. I nodded. Leah didn't hesitate to close the distance, but she did when her hand rested right above my shoulder, debating if this was something she wanted. Whatever doubt she had was erased when she grabbed my shoulder with a tenderness I did not expect.

She was warm.

So warm.

I closed my eyes involuntarily. It had been...so long since I felt like that. I almost forgot what it felt like.

Her warmth enveloped me like a cocoon, strong arms wrapping around me in a protective embrace. I opened my eyes and looked up to see her brown eyes gazing down at me in care. Something bubbled up in my chest; it was too much.

I didn't like it. This isn't who I am! This is just some...some inexpiable bullshit that I could never understand but longed for for hundreds of years. It was right in front of me; I can feel it, the lust, love, vulnerability; shit I couldn't begin to name. Raising my hands and placing them on her stomach (damn shes tall) I wanted to push away but couldn't. There was a war inside that I didn't understand, I was scared beyond belief of how this woman could make me feel once she stopped ignoring me. I thought I was ready but oh man was I wrong.

In the end I rested my head between her breast, I couldn't look at her anymore.

Somehow she understood.

Brushing her hand through my hair with care I heard her mutter words that changed my life forever.

"Let's start over, okay?"

So, three long years eh? It's hard to believe I published the first chapter when I was 19, but, reading over what I wrote way back then I can see it really hard. I floated the idea of rewriting this entire story, but, I had enough trouble as it was writing any story, let alone rewriting what I already did to make it look better. The first 3/4ths of this chapter, I think, are leagues above what I wrote to finish the chapter off 3 years later.

I suppose after quitting for so long losts of rust is to be expected. At first I was going to drag out this whole Leah thing and make her more like a Tsudere character, but, after some thought realized that wasn't who I envisioned Leah to be and instead took it in this direction. There hasn't been much characterization of Leah outside of snippets and hints at what she is thinking. I hope this isn't too jaring, but, I don't want to spend forever explaining motives when that's not who she is. She's more actions than words.

Maybe Natalie will change that a little, and perhaps Leah can motivate this amoral woman to be something more than a casual observer.

Who knows. Only time will tell, and now that I've done this I expect that the next chapter will be out before years end. Most likely in late December. I need to get back into the head space and plan some stuff out, I know where I want this to go but very little on the how.

Reviews do really help out, even though I'm not sure I deserve the effort after such a long wait time.

Till next time. Cheers