I hear them. Every snide remark I hear them all. I see their faces, the looks they give me as I walk through Diagon Alley even though they think I am not looking. I have heard what they have said traitor, whore. At first those words use to bother me and I would cry for days on end remembering how everything was before Harry was defeated and the Dark Lord reined unopposed. But that was so long ago. I was so long ago.

I remember the day Harry died. Every eye in the place was on him and the Dark Lord, no one dared to move a muscle, no one dared breathe in fear that the slightest movement would disrupt the delicate dance for survival the two were engaged. The air was thick with tension and you could feel the raw magic that was emitted throughout the Great Hall.

One miscalculated move, a shaky side step and Harry was dead on the ground. My world, my soul, my being was forever shattered after that moment. Looking back, I realized there was something Dumbledore missed that he forgot to tell us. There had to be something that we missed and that would cause the world as we know it to come crumbling down around us. With the Boy-Who-Lived now truly dead on the ground, his followers fought with even more zeal than they had before and the Order was vanquished within the hour.

For seven days we were locked in the depths of the castle. The ones that managed to escape were rounded up like cattle and brought back to Hogwarts were Lord Voldemort was judge, jury and executioner. The prominent members of the Order were awarded as prizes to his most faithful of servants. Ron was given to Bellatrix Lestrange, Ginny, still a virgin, was gifted to Severus Snape for his role as a spy and most trusted of all servants much to McNair's dismay. Molly and Arthur, both considered too old and beyond their usefulness were both killed and their bodies hung in front of the entrance to Hogwarts for the entire world to see.

I, considered to be the brains of the famed Golden Trio, was not to be given to just any Death Eater. When I was brought before him I admit that I was scared despite my tangled hair obscuring my face from view, the lusty looks and the way the men grabbed the front of their trousers did not go unnoticed. It repulsed me.

The beast Fenrir threw me across the room and at his feet like I was a ragdoll. With the wind knocked out of me, I could only lay there on my side wishing, no praying for death to come swiftly like it did for Harry, Molly and Arthur, but unfortunately, for me I had no such luck.

I could hear his footsteps as he came down from his throne. I opened my eyes to see him kneeling just a few inches from me. He roughly grabbed my hair bringing my head level with his. I had never seen him up this close before my eyes quickly took in his features. I did not miss that glint in his eyes I furrowed my brow in confusion was that desire?

Next, I felt his breath on my ear and was surprised to find that it was warm. "I have plans for you, Hermione Granger," he hissed as he suddenly dropped my head letting it collide with the stone floor. I groaned aloud as my vision my slightly blurred. I closed my eyes willing the pain that shot through my skull to pass.

"My Lord…"

"Yes, Lucius?"

"The Granger girl, I was wondering if my son could have…"

"I think not Lucius. He already has Ms. Lovegood. Was my reward not to you and your son's liking Lucius?"

"No my lord, my son and I are grateful for you generosity my lord." Lucius once again bowed low, "It's just my son and I would like to teach that bitch a lesson," he spat each word dripping with venom.

"No, you nor your son will be teaching Ms. Granger anything."

I sighed grateful that I wouldn't be in the hands of the ferret and his father.

"No, Lucius she is mine," my eyes shot open in horror.

From the time Lucius dragged me off to the Dark Lord's chambers I thought the worst. Best case scenario he would take what he wanted from me and kill me swiftly, that was my best hope.

That night will always be in the forefront of my mind. The Dark Lord came in and slowly approached me giving me a once over. He ordered me to take off my clothes, I refused. I remember being overcome with this sudden wave of indescribable pain. It felt as if my bones were being pulled out through my skin. He lifted the curse and ordered me once again to remove my clothes. I slowly stood and this time I complied. I stood there nude and shaking trying to maintain some sort of modesty by crossing my arms over my breast.

"Come here," on shaky legs I slowly approached him my eyes remaining on the floor. He reached out and gently brushed my tangled hair from my face. He gently took my chin bringing my eyes to meet his. "Are you a virgin, Hermione?" I breathed in deeply holding myself tighter. "Yes."

He stroked my face, "you fought valiantly for your friends," I started to sob at the mention of my friends my mind immediately went to Harry. "Behave and tonight will go smoothly for you although there will be some pain. That I am afraid cannot be helped. Misbehave and I will make sure that you suffer not just at my hands but at the hands of my followers. I am a merciful man the same cannot be said for McNair and some of the others."

I nodded my head in understanding and to my astonishment the Dark Lord placed a kiss on my forehead before he led me to the bathroom.

The rest of the night passed in a haze. I remember the sensation of hot water on my dry skin and the scent of sandalwood, and I remember the feel of his toned body atop of mine. I can recall the sweet nothings he whispered to me as he entered me for the first time. He was neither rough nor gentle. He did not demand much from me that night and he came quickly rolling off of me and allowing the chilled air of the castle to caress my skin. I lay there crying silently until I felt the covers being pulled up around me and his strong arm snaking it way around my waist. I cried even harder. How could I betray Ron and the Order like this? How could I betray Harry? I cried until there was nothing left. He quietly shushed me pressing butterfly kisses to my shoulder and neck. Around dawn I finally fell asleep.

That was how those first few months passed. My routine became set and so did that of the wizarding world. Things slowly went back to some façade of normal. But nothing was normal anymore. People were still being hunted down like wild game and those suspected of harboring fugitives were gathered outside of their home and killed in the street. It seemed as if Dumbledore, Harry and the Order had never existed. I too fell in line and took great solace in knowing that Severus took great care of Ginny. At least, my last shred of family was safe.

I was allowed to wonder the castle and venture into the library, which I all but begged him to leave intact in exchange for my cooperation. I had come to enjoy the Dark Lord's affections and even returned them in kind. I had become friendly with some of the Death Eaters. I had tea with Narcissa at least once a week if not more. I would hate myself each time I came from Malfoy Manor.

There I would see Luna her eyes void of any hint of mischief and her carefree spirit was gone. I would see her standing there with a tray of cakes in her hands. She was a broken and beaten fragment of the girl she was during Hogwarts. It was during those times when I saw her that I hated what I had become. I was nothing more than a whore. I would willingly come to his bed at night. I admit I enjoy having him take me from behind while pulling my hair. When he is not in a typically good mood I have no hesitation in getting on my knees and taking him in my mouth.

I know I am awful and sad.

I am just like her. I am just like all of them. I too am disposable. Anytime the Dark Lord gets tired of me and ready to move on to another he can and then what will become of me. Many times I have wished he would grow tired of me and kill me putting an end to my shame and inner turmoil. At the end of the year I found out that I was carrying the Dark Lord's child. I hated myself even more.

My first child was going to be born into hatred and self-loathing. The Dark Lord took it better than I expected. Smiling he told me that we would be married within the month saying the last thing he needed was a bastard baby running around the castle. Nine months later, there she was wrapped in a little pink blanket in my arms. The Dark Lord took her from me and held her, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Finally, something that belongs completely to me," he whispered to himself. I felt my stomach clinch, there was no way I could get away now. Not without my daughter. He handed her back to me placing a kiss on my forehead, "well done, Hermione. Well done." When he and the healer left me to rest, I held my little girl and cried.

3 years later

Walking down Diagon Alley, I see the looks and I hear the whispers coming from my former housemates. "There she is, that traitor. The Dark Lord's whore." I heard one man say in a harsh whisper. I turn and look, that man is none other than Dean Thomas and next to him a man I recognized as Colin Creevey. Both were dirty and clad in rags that could not have possible kept them warm from the cool November breeze. My heart stopped when I looked in Dean's eyes. It was a look of hurt and hatred. I could not blame him for my treachery was great. I averted my eyes in shame. All of a sudden a man came out of nowhere and struck Dean hard across the face knocking him to the ground.

"You will avert your gaze when in the presence of our Dark Lady," the man turned around and I immediately recognized him as Crabbe, he bowed his head in my direction. I in turn did the same. I returned my gaze straight ahead. I raised my head a little higher and put on a mask on superiority. It was all I could do to keep from breaking down in the middle of the street, all eyes where upon me as everyone made a path for me and Michela.

I stopped in front of Quality Quidditch Supplies remembering a time when Ron, Harry, Ginny and I, much to my dismay, would spend hours in there looking at all of the new gear and comparing broom designs. I can hear their laughter now. A slight tug on my arm pulls me from my thoughts.

"Mum, I want some candy. Daddy said I could get some candy" I looked down into the round, pudgy face of my daughter. I can see myself in every inch of her features but her eyes are his. Every time I look into her eyes, those cold, blue eyes, I am reminded of my treachery. I smile down at her. She smiles back, her smiles never reach her eyes, and I allow her to pull me in the direction of Sugarplum Sweets Shop.