Title: Lily and the Map

Summary: Lily gets the Marauders Map and attempts to figure out why it is so important to the four teenage boys. She however can't figure it out and manages to access its insulting mechanism. Mr. Prongs, however, cannot figure out how to properly insult Lily Evans.

May Waters

I got this prompt from a tumblr post, which I now have. I found it originally on Facebook and then put it on my tumblr and whatnot. Anyway, you can follow me and make requests for one-shot fanfics there. :)

Lily Evans tumbled from the Gryffindor Common Room with a very complex piece of parchment. Her red hair spilled into her eyes as she scrambled to race safely down the hall. She swept it back with her pinkie, reaching out to tear open a secret passage. She only stopped once an empty classroom had been located and safely secured with warning enchantments.

Lily had seen James Potter and his friends pouring over this piece of parchment on many occasions. They would sit in the common room while Remus should be on patrol, passing around sweets and checking the parchment often. As far as she could tell it was completely blank. Lily had seen James tuck it into his back pocket and as they headed up to their dorm, she slipped it out again-then ran for her life. She was lucky James had been the last one to go up or her plans for figuring out just how important it was to the boys would be delayed. Gently, she spread it out across the table with her long fingers, making sure there were no creases whatsoever.

Lily let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She pulled her wand from her pocket and pressed its tip to the paper. Nothing happened, she tapped it again feeling frustrated. Was there some sort of incantation? Frustrated she took a seat at one of the desks and ran her hands through her hair-reminding herself inexplicably of James as she did it.

"What are you hiding?" She finally asked the map, her wand still laying across it. "Reveal your secrets?"

Nothing. The parchment stayed infuriatingly blank. After several more moments of silence she decided to give up and return it to James with an apology.

"What are you doing Lily?" She whispered. "I Lily Evans am an idiot, of course the boys would just convince Remus to sluff off his duties as a prefect. James is head boy though-like that's ever mattered really. You're never going to figure out why this piece of paper is so important to them."

Piece of paper? The map lit up with words and she froze, her eyes fixed to the parchment.

Mr. Moony would like to recognize his astonishment that Lily Evans would ever think this is just a simple piece of parchment. He would also like to advise her to keep her head out of things which don't concern her.

Mr. Padfoot would like to agree with Mr. Moony and remind Lily Evans that she is an arrogant rule stickler who should keep to her own business of finding rule breakers.

Mr. Wormtail believes Lily Evans should keep her upturned nose out of stuff, for she nicked our hard work. The shame she must feel.

Mr. Prongs would like to apologize for-

Mr. Prongs would like to tell Lily Evans that she is gorgeous and-

Mr. Prongs wants Lily Evans to be his girlfriend-

Mr. Prongs wants Lily Evans to steal more of his possessions-

Mr. Prongs thinks Lily Evans would look good in her underwear-

Mr. Prongs asks politely that Lily Evans would return this parchment to the proper owners.

Lily covered her mouth and tried to smother her giggles. A parchment meant to insult those who attempted to figure out what it was-quite ingenious, Lily thought. She lifted it to her nose for closer inspection, her eyebrows crinkling together. She recalled the silly names the Marauders had for each other, surely they hadn't come from this alone? She was just about to fold it back up when there was voices in the corridor outside and her enchantments began to flash about her in warning. Her wand lifted and quickly took them down, she pressed her back to the wall next to the door-listening to see who was there.

"I can't believe you lost it James." Lily recognized the voice of Remus Lupin.

"I didn't mean to lose it, I can't figure out where it would've gone either. We had it in the common room and then it's just gone." James replied.

"You had better hope that someone didn't use it to write on, or burn it." Sirius snarled, Lily's eyebrows crinkled together once more. Perhaps it was more than just a parchment meant to insult those who tried to use it.

"I'm sorry Padfoot, honestly." That name rung a bell, she looked back at the paper clutched in her hands, the black ink still spilling across it in dark loops. There was Padfoot's response, it matched Sirius so well now it all clicked.

"Stop being so hard on him guys, anyone of us could've lost it too." Peter spoke up.

"Have you lost it before too Wormtail?" Sirius accused and Lily's green eyes drifted to " Mr. Wormtail" on the parchment.

"Let's stop arguing and just find it." Remus sighed. Stealing a sharp breath and gathering all her courage, Lily stepped out into the hall right in front of the four boys.

"Lily," James breathed.

"Hi, I think I might have what you're looking for." Lily stated bravely, holding the parchment more tightly to her chest.

"You have it?" Sirius perked up.

"I nicked it from James' back pocket when you lot were going up stairs. I don't understand it though, I think it's a bit confused on how to properly insult people."

"Let me see it," Remus held out his hand and Lily gave him the prized possession. His eyes scanned the words on the page before he started to laugh.

"What? What is it?" Sirius demanded leaning over his friend's shoulder, Peter leaning in too. It was only a few seconds before the other two were laughing cheerfully as well.

"Prongs, I can't believe it, you really can't insult her can you?" Sirius finally managed, slinging an arm around James' shoulders.

"What are you talking about?" James held out a hand expectantly and took the paper from Remus. He turned bright red on the spot and tapped the map with the end of his wand, the black ink fading away to nothing.

"If it's meant to insult people, it really does need some work." Lily scuffed her shoe along the tile floor, not looking at any of them.

"Yeah, we'll make the necessary changes." James ducked his head, quickly folding and tucking it away. Then he grabbed his friends and began pulling them away down the corridor. "See you later Lily."

"Bye James," Lily smiled and gave a little wave which Remus and Peter returned, Sirius still howling with laughter was carried between the two.