Author's Note: If you're waiting for me to say that this was based off real events... you'd be right. I'd love to say I lead a wild and crazy life outside of the Internet, but in actual fact I just have the strangest people in my social circle (that, and I manage to be present for the most bizarre things taken out of context).


All in all, it was shaping up to be a bad day for Anna.

First, she had slept through her alarm, meaning she didn't have enough time to get ready in the short span of time between Elsa pouring a glass of water on her, and being out the door. Elsa had been strangely quiet all day. The sun was too hot. The wind blew her bangs into her eyes. There was a hitchhiking stone in her shoe rattling away merrily. No one told her there'd be lots and lots of icky bugs. Worst of all, it was approaching nightfall and they had yet to reach the campsite.

Elsa trudged a little ahead of her, surefooted as a mountain goat (although definitely much better-looking in Anna's humble and unbiased opinion) along the narrow trail.

"Elsa?"

"Yes?"

"Are we there yet?"

The blonde sighed. "No, not yet."

"But it's getting dark."

That remark would have earned a shovelful of playful sarcasm from her best friend on a normal day. This Elsa merely carried on walking with a non-committal "mmm" as though Anna had made an inane remark on the weather.

The redhead glumly walked on, kicking a pebble just because she could (and also to show the stone in her shoe who was boss). This hiking trip was supposed to be fun. They were supposed to take a day off away from the city, the people, the crazy women inhabiting their dorm room (okay, crazy was a little strong, but Cindy and Meg did things that made even Anna a little apprehensive). It was supposed to be Anna-and-Elsa time, something that had been sorely lacking in their holiday so far.

Quite simply, she missed Elsa.

"Anna?"

The redhead snapped back to attention. "What?"

"We're here."

She surveyed their current surroundings. A bit of flat land. Two cabins. A firepit. "This is it?"

"Yes. Our camping ground." Elsa had set her backpack down. She was already examining the area and gathering bits of kindling.

"Wow." Anna searched for something to say, since Elsa had selected it. "It looks – campy."

"Campy?"

"As in – ugh, that came out weird. Campy as in camp-y? Nice place for a camp? Not the other campy, which is – I'm only making it worse for myself, aren't I?"

The blonde gave another non-committal hum but paired it with an equally neutral shrug, which drove Anna's paranoia up a notch. She opened her mouth to protest.

"Here, can you take this for a moment?" Elsa passed her the camping stove and a box of firelighters. The redhead promptly lost her train of thought.

"Uhm, okay. Do you want me to hold this, or put it down somewhere...?"

"Next to the firepit is fine."

"Okay, then I'll just – are these marshmallows?" Anna's voice rose into an excited squeal on the last word.

Elsa smiled slightly. "Of course. For that ridiculously sweet American treat you wanted to try – spores, or something..."

"S'mores are the best thing ever since marshmallows and hot cocoa combined, and you are about to bow to the supremacy of American cuisine." Anna wasted no time in ripping open the bag in her lap and extracting a gooey marshmallow.

"Oh, are you camping here tonight?"

She closed her mouth with a snap. "Yes, we are. Hi." Anna stood to shake the hand of the tall young man who had just arrived. Just as she clasped it, she remembered she was holding a marshmallow.

Well. She'd been holding a marshmallow.

"Oh," he said, pulling back his hand to find a parting gift smooshed in his palm. "That's one heck of a welcome gift."

"I'm so sorry!"

"Don't be, I've done klutzier things. I know the struggle." He wiped his hand off on some leaves. "I'm Hans, by the way."

Anna grinned. "Nice to meet you, Hans By-The-Way. I'm Anna Iversen and this is my best friend, Elsa Brundtland."

"Hello," said Elsa politely.

"Hi, Elsa," said Hans, and turned his attention back to Anna, arching an eyebrow in mock annoyance. "Very clever," he commented dryly, rolling his eyes. "It must have taxed your wit severely to come up with something as brilliant as that."

She stuck out her tongue at him. He waggled his eyebrows at her. They both burst out laughing.

Elsa remained impassive. She stood up, brushed dirt off her pants. "While it's nice to meet you, Hans, I need to collect some more kindling. See you later."

"Alright."

Anna blinked. "But Elsa, we have plenty of – "

The blonde woman was already gone. "– kindling."

Hans glanced between them but said nothing.

The redhead pulled a face and glumly reached for more marshmallows. She offered one to Hans, who gratefully accepted.

"In case you're wondering, yes, she's usually like that; she isn't called the Snow Queen for nothing back at school."

"Sounds like a long story."

Anna nodded fervently. "I'd say."


By the time Elsa came back, arms full of kindling, Hans and Anna were chatting away as though they had been best friends from birth. The blonde scowled.

"Having fun?"

Anna leapt to her feet, blushing guiltily. "Elsa! Hi! You're back! Um, do you need any help with that?"

"No, thank you." Elsa kept her head down, dropping her lit match into the wood and prodding the small flame. Despite the warmth of the growing fire, the atmosphere was icy. She focused on growing the fire, prodding hard enough to dislodge the topmost log – which promptly rolled onto the flame and extinguished it. "Damn."

"You need some dry twigs," said Anna authoritatively, "Bear Grylls said so."

Elsa muttered something about where Bear Grylls could stick his twigs, but eventually conceded it was an idea. She stuck a few twigs in the centre and dropped a lit match on them. The small fire caught and started to blaze merrily.

"Told you."

"Alright, Boring Girl." Ignoring the squeak of offended dignity from Anna, she picked up the kettle from the ground. "I'm going to get water."

Anna leapt to her feet. "I'll come with you!"

"Anna – it's okay. You don't need to, I'll be fine on my own."

The redhead visibly drooped. "Well… if you're sure…"

It was adorable enough to make Elsa relent, and smile at her as she left for the treeline. Mood restored, Anna sat back down and started rummaging through her bag.

Hans reached into his own backpack, and extracted a large package of tinfoil. "Dinner is served."

"What's that?"

"A sandwich." He was unwrapping the layers of foil reverently, like he was unveiling a masterpiece, and showed Anna the most magnificent submarine sandwich she'd seen in her life. About a foot long, and stuffed with a cornucopia of sandwich fillings, all of the finest quality.

Her eyes went wide. "It's beautiful," she whispered, awed by its mere presence.

"Salami, roast beef, turkey, ham, three kinds of cheese, dill pickles, mayonnaise, and a dash of mustard," Hans whispered back. "The salad greens go without saying, of course; red onions, iceberg lettuce, sliced tomatoes." He tapped the bread. "Home-baked."

Anna knew she was in the presence of sandwich royalty. If it tasted as good as it sounded… Her mouth watered.

The young man took a gigantic bite of one end. He sat motionless, eyes closed, cheeks bulging, as he slowly and rapturously chewed the sandwich.

"Is it good?"

"Mmmmpph," he managed. It was amazing Hans could make any sound at all, since his mouth was so stuffed. His free hand flailed as he attempted to express the flavor, the depth, the triumphant symphony that was the taste of the sandwich.

Or so Anna thought. It she was being honest, he looked like he was having a seizure. Yeah, that must be it.

"Beyond words," said Hans hoarsely once he'd swallowed the mouthful. The look on his face – of a man who had seen heaven's delights – made Anna wish she'd thought of packing an amazing sandwich for the hike. As he took bite after bite, Anna watched him like a hawk. She screwed up her courage. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

"Could I," she began, eyes fixed on the last chunk of sandwich in his hand, "have some of your sandwich?"

The expression on his face was pure shock. She felt colour rising in her cheeks, but the allure of the foodstuff proved to be more compelling than her sense of social decency.

Eventually, Hans smiled. "I don't see why not, if you don't mind that it's half-eaten." In her mind, Anna elevated him to the top of her personal pantheon of benevolent heroes. "Provided, of course, you share some of your food. I'm a growing boy, you know."

She giggled. "Of course!" The contents of her pack were spread out for his perusal, and Hans picked the peach. Anna was a little sorry to see it go – it had been on sale, plus it looked sweet and juicy – but it was a small price to pay for the Sandwich (it had swelled in importance such that it had become a proper noun).

Anna took a tiny bite. First she tasted the saltiness and savoury flavor of the meats, tempered with the refreshing sweetness of the salad greens. Crunchy dill pickle. The cheeses – bringing a wealth of flavours on their own – combining everything into a whole. The spice of the mustard.

And of course, the mayonnaise. Lots and lots of sinful mayonnaise, just the way she liked her sandwiches.

"This is perfect," she gushed around another impolite mouthful, and another, "this is the best Sandwich I've ever eaten."

"I'm glad you like it," replied Hans bashfully. "I made it myself."

"Can I keep you?" They laughed – or rather, Hans laughed. Anna only made muffled breathing noises as she crammed the Sandwich into her mouth.

"I think my boyfriend would object."

"Lucky man," said Anna.

"That I am."

She stuffed the last of the Sandwich in, sighing happily as she licked the last of the mayonnaise from her lips. Hans started on his newly-acquired peach, the juice running over his chin and hand. It amused Anna to see he was as sloppy an eater as she was.

"How is it?"

"Great. You know how to pick them."

"You're too kind. All I know is how to open the plastic bag and pick the ones that aren't too deformed."

"Just as long as you don't pick the zombie peaches," said Hans seriously. "So not fun when they try to take a bite out of you instead of the other way round." They both burst out laughing, so much so Anna dropped the little wad of tinfoil in her hand, and peach juice dripped on the front of Hans' pants.

"Damn," they said simultaneously. Anna crouched down to pick up the litter, just as Hans attempted to rub away the stain with his fingers. "Move," she said, "it's rolled under your feet."

And of course, Elsa chose this moment to walk back into camp.

What she saw: Anna, crouched down before Hans, her back to Elsa. Hans, looking down at Anna's head, one hand resting down there –

She squeaked, and Anna heard her.

"Elsa? Is that you?"

"Yes," said the blonde, attempting to make her voice sound normal. Anna noticed, of course, and she straightened up, brushing crumbs off her clothes.

To Elsa, this looked like something much less innocuous.

Especially after she looked at Anna's face.

"Anna…"

"Yes?"

Elsa looked away, blushing crimson. "You've got – uh – something on your face." She would rather die than say exactly what she thought that something was.

"Have I?" Anna wiped at her mouth, left side and then right, examining her hand closely. "Oh. Oops." She felt like dying of embarrassment, that Elsa had seen the blob of mayonnaise she had missed earlier, and now she was going to be teased for being a sloppy eater. Again. "Elsa, I can explain – "

"No need!" The blonde girl practically squeaked the last words in a pitch too high for most humans to register, and started scurrying away. "I understand just fine!"

"Then where are you going?"

"Toilet. I, uh, have to go answer the call. Urgently."

Anna watched her disappear into the trees. "Huh," she said, absently licking the mayonnaise off her hand, "and here I thought she was going to tell me off."

"You're lucky she's so understanding. My boyfriend would have nagged me deaf, and then I'd have to kiss him just to make him shut up and hope it'll distract him." Hans blinked at Anna's expression. "What? Did I say something?"

"No, nothing. I'm just amazed that stuff actually works? Always thought it was something on TV."

"Not if you got something to back it up with," said Hans with a smirk.

"Oh, your sandwich-making skills?"

"I meant my body, you hopeless female."

Anna rolled her eyes; her heart wasn't really in the conversation. "... Do you think I should go after her?"

He shrugged. "Duh. Why are you even asking me that? You're her best friend, aren't you?"

"I've only known you for one day, and it feels like you know know me. You know what I mean?"

"Yes, yes, you can abuse the word 'know' all you want later," said Hans, making a flicking motion with his fingers. "Now go."


Elsa wasn't so sure what she was supposed to be feeling at that moment. First all those girls, and now this man she'd literally only just met that day? Was she that boring that Anna was desperately throwing herself at every other person that came her way?

The thought, while it was immediately dismissed for being too irrational, hurt nevertheless. She ran a hand through her fringe.

"Elsa? Is that you?"

The blonde bit down on her lower lip. Her heart had leapt at the fact that Anna had come looking for her. And yet... she wasn't quite ready to face her. Not after accidentally walking in on them doing – something – that made her blush whenever she thought of it.

"Elsa, I know you're out here," called Anna from somewhere behind Elsa's left shoulder, "you have to come back to camp sometime! You can't hide out here forever!"

Oooh, the thought was tempting, though. Very tempting.

"Elsa! What are we, five? Stop hiding and get your butt out here!"

It occurred to Elsa that hiding in the forest from her best friend was something a five-year-old would do, and she reluctantly stepped out of the treeline in front of Anna. The redhead squeaked in surprise.

"I think the whole forest heard you," said the blonde dryly. "Or maybe there's a bear you haven't woken up from hibernation yet."

Anna spluttered in outrage. "W-well, you shouldn't be running off from camp. It's getting dark, and you could get lost or something."

"The camp is literally behind you," said Elsa, pointing. Right on cue, Hans waved at them and went back to toasting his marshmallow.

"Uh, well, you could get – disoriented, or something."

"I'll be fine, Anna." She patted her friend's arm – she really did look upset – and headed back to camp.

Anna didn't move. Something was not fine, and it was high time she sat Elsa down for a proper talking-about.