"You know something Lydia…." Amalia said, looking up from her book.

Lydia looked up from the stew she was making at their nighttime campsite to her friend, "What is it my Thane?"

"I need an opponent to test my skills against." The Dragonborn explained, "Someone I can really fight ya know? Most of the people I go against usually wind up dying for some reason. I mean, there was Alduin, but he died. Tsun's always stuck and the bridge, and you know, a god. Soo..."

Lydia blinked, "My Thane, I'm not sure I quite understand…."

"Oh, you know, something like…."

"LYDIA!" Amalia roared, charging up the snow covered hill. Standing against her arch nemesis, Lydia the Brown Bear of….something or other, Amalia couldn't remember.

"Hello Amalia." Lydia greeted calmly, the complete opposite of her friend's completely enraged demeanour.

"Why are you here?!" Amalia demanded, "Come to see your handiwork?!"

Lydia sighed elegantly, and if such a thing were possible, Lydia just did it. Glancing out over their landscape, at the graves she made. Esbern, J'zargo, Brelyna, and so many more. She looked on in calm, refined manner. "I just came here to see whether or not I felt anything at all...and yet…."

Amalia's features blazed.

"It seems I am free."

Reaching across her back, Amalia drew her weapon. Black metal with a dull edge. it was too big, too rough, too thick to be called a sword, more like a slab of raw iron.

"LYDIA!" Blitzing through the snow, Amaila got within blade's reach of Lydia, and swung her sword down.

CLANG! This was not in fact, a standard sound effect, it was quite literally, a CLANG sound.

"Farkas?!" Amalia gaped in surprise. Standing against her, and holding a curved sword, was in fact, if you didn't get who it was from Amalia shouting it out, Farkas. Holding a large curved sword, he growled.

"Hello Farseer." He greeted calmly, but in a steady nerves manner rather than the complete detachment you got from Lydia. "It's good to see you again."

"You? Why are you…." Amalia balked.

"I only seek a good fight, and now, you'll give me one!" Breaking off the blade lock, Farkas swung, and Amalia returned the favour.

"...My Thane, why am I the villain of that story?" The completely stunned Lydia asked.

"I told you, I needed someone I can test my skills against...and you know, I didn't want you feeling left out or something…." Amalia answered.

"So you choose me and Farkas….why?"

"Well, I thought Farkas would be a good workout partner and-"

"Nevermind, what happens next?"

"Well, obviously I beat Farkas and kill you to avenge our lost friends which you sacrificed to attain godhood." Amalia explained in the same manner you would tell a person, "water is wet." (This was, of course, untrue. Water is not wet, it water merely comes on you, and then it leaves. No more, no less.)

"...My Thane, is this about the sweet roll I ate the other day?"

"That sweet-roll was mine and you know it." Amalia said darkly.

"I apologized, profusely." Lydia said.

"Well...I'll remember that next time." Amalia said, looking off into the distance.

"Next time?" Lydia didn't want to know, but had to ask.

"Next time on Griffon-stave X!"

"ALLLLDUUUUUIN!" Amalia yelled out, a stream of lightning glowing in her hands as she flew through the air, power glowing around her and causing her hair to spike up and turning yellow for some reason.

"DOVAHKIIN!" The black dragon roared back, a black surge of power growing in his mouth.

"Kamehame…...HAAAAA!" Amalia yelled, thrusting her arms forward and throwing a stream of blue lighting towards Alduin, who responded in kind with his black beam of death.

"...That one makes even less sense than the last one!"

"You don't make sense…."

"You are no longer allowed to read children's books, my Thane."

As it turns out, I'm not dead! I've just been...distracted. With things. Like college. And stuff. Mostly stuff.

Anyway, this really doesn't make sense unless you're an anime fan, so I'll spell it out for those who aren't in the know. The first one is from Berserk, a story about a man with a really large sword and a dark past that makes Edgar Allen Poe look cheery by comparison. The next is from, what else, Dragonball Z. Oh, and I don't know if I'll be updating the Dark Souls Crossover arc. In hindsight, I sorta messed up there, but you know, a oneshot series lets me cheat a little...

Ah well, don't know when the next update will be, but as always...

Truly Wandering, Outlaw.