Sorry it's so short guys, I've actually had the whole story written since last year but I just don't have the energy to write. It's also really short because I feel it's a chapter with a strong impact to the story line.

Warning this is gonna get kinda heavy.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders or any of the characters, all rights go to the original author.

It's been a few weeks since the party, and Soda still refuses to talk to me. He doesn't understand, I need the pills and the only person I knew could get them was Erik. The pills have been the only thing keeping me going.

I am sinking

I tried to stop taking them but I just couldn't. I need the energy they bring. I also began to ignored my rule of not taking them before work. Because who really as the energy to deal with customers without a little bit of extra help.

I am in a free fall

School starts soon and I know I need help. I bought my second bottle of pills off of Erik, and I have to go back for a third soon.

I am drowning

The gang has started to notice that something is wrong . I have been losing weight I don't have. I snap at everybody, even Johnny, Soda, and Dallas. My limbs now twitch uncontrollably at times.

I am spiraling out of control

My hands are always so cold, and food turns my stomach enough to vomit most days.

I can not save my self

Now I have begun to see things that aren't actually there. Shadows now whispers in an unrecognizable language.

Somebody help me.

I am slowly killing myself.