Hypothetically speaking,
When you discover that your best friend from another life who died a disgusting, brutal death now attends the same high school as you and is also on your basket ball team,
What do you do?
Do you sprint up to them in the crowded hallway, crying as you fall into their arms and squeeze the life out of them?
Because I may have done just that.
My tears fell onto his shoulder, creating a damp patch on his yellow t-shirt (I mean yellow? Of course I'd find him if he wore yellow.). My arms were wrapped around his shoulders and although I didn't feel him hugging me back, I could feel his warmth all around me, as though I was enveloped in his personality, his presence, his entire being that was Marco Bodt.
I sniffed and let out a shaky sigh as I pulled back to look at his facial features. Yup, he was still flooded with freckles, he still had a head of black hair, he still had tan coloured skin and best of all, he had both eyes, wide and brown, vibrant and full of life, unlike the last time I'd seen him.
"Marco," I breathed out his name. "You're here, you're really fucking here, oh my god, I missed you so much man." I smiled at him weakly, trying not to cry again as tears dried on my cheeks.
I, Jean Kirschtein-pronounced in the French way which was Jzh-ahn, not "John" or that disgusting American "Gene", had finally reunited with my best friend that I had never met before. Or well, I knew that I had met him previously, in another life.
It all began in middle school. I was playing in the park near my house in the richer part of town, with my friends who were also my neighbours, Ryan and Callum. I heard the sound of cars screeching when a kid with bright green eyes and an obnoxious war cry ran across the road over to us and immediately punched me in the face, sending me flat on my back.
Yes, it was the legendary Eren Jaeger, the idiotic transforming guy.
Except, I didn't know that yet. I punched him back, furious as well as shocked, and it was the best bloody punch I'd ever landed because after my fist made contact with some part of his face, I heard the satisfying sound of a "crack" when I broke his nose.
My friends had to pull us apart, because despite a face full of blood and a broken nose, Eren was still determined to pick a fight with a stranger. Ryan and Callum were scared shitless, but they stayed and held us down until my step mom heard about me being in a fight from some girl who had ran off to tell her.
My mom drove me and Eren to the hospital. We didn't say a word to each other. He held an icepack to his face and I glared out the window at nothing, involved with my own thoughts while my mom told me I'd be paying for his medical bill in French. Why the hell did I already hate this kid so much? I didn't even know him, but he punched me? And I had punched back, as though I'd been preparing for it?
If I was honest, which I usually was, I was a total weakling that couldn't scare a fly.
In the hospital, I stayed by Eren's bed, sulking in the stiff chair while my mom talked to Eren's mom on the phone. Apparently they were in the book club together. The drugs eventually kicked into Jaeger's system and he was well enough to speak.
"Do you remember me, Jean?"
He sounded really nasal, and I hadn't told the guy my name, but he somehow knew it and said it right. That never happened.
"Should I?"
He told me his name, about the life we'd had before this one, and how he'd been having dreams about it for years and that when he'd seen me, he'd just gotten so mad at seeing my "horse face" again. Our previous lives included being in the army, the Survey Corps. A lot of it was about how we trained to fight the Titans, giant human-like monsters that ate the people who had to live inside walls to be safe from them. When he got to that point, I figured the drugs had gone to head and he was spouting nonsense.
"We would always fight, you know. No matter how inappropriate it was. We fought in the dorm, the middle of the street and even in the battlefield. But there was that one time you covered for me to help me escape, and you told me you were counting on me to help everybody. I managed to get Annie, the female titan and I stopped her."
From doing what? Just as I was wondering that, the nurse came in to check Eren's bandages, which were soaked with blood. She changed them silently, delicate pale fingers peeling white cloth away from Eren's nose as he hissed in pain.
She glanced at me, just for a second without really thinking about it, but it was long enough for the colour of her eyes and the overwhelming smell of blood to remind me of everything, everything about that life that Eren had told me about and more. Much, much more.
I must've passed out, because the next thing I knew I was laying on the bed beside Eren's, my mom's voice sounded close, and she was explaining to the nurse that I got dizzy around blood when in the hospital. See what I mean? I was a total weakling. One that passed out around blood, of all things.
I forget myself when I noticed a beautiful, stoic girl with glossy black hair and dark eyes and pale skin sitting beside Eren's bed. I looked her up and down, my mouth was probably open and I could feel heat in my cheeks. I saw a red scarf around her neck, and it felt kind of familiar and that she was glaring at me. With my heart beating around like crazy, I looked at Eren, silently pleading for something, anything about that girl. When he shook his head sadly and gave me a apologetic smile, I knew it meant "It's never going to happen."
The memories played before my eyes like a fast rolling film strip, making me panic and grip onto the sheets around me as I stared blankly at the ceiling then quickly fell asleep on the hospital bed.
From that day onwards, I had dreams about my previous life as a soldier. And sure enough, Eren was there and I saw the things he'd told me about with my own eyes. I saw the black haired girl, Mikasa. The genius blonde, Armin. The tough guy, Reiner. Sasha, the silly, bottomless pit.
Marco, the sweet, charismatic guy who always encouraged me to never give up and that my orders had been right.
My best friend.
I often dreamt about his smile, his freckles, his words. Hs corpse that leant against the building, half of his body missing, torn off. His ashes that fluttered in the bonfire, soaring up to the sky like a spirit heading towards heaven. In a way, that's probably what it was.
When I woke up from dreams like that, I didn't panic or wake up in a pool of sweat. I just cried. Because Marco had been the one person who had never doubted me and had never deserved a fate like the one he'd had. Because I was a coward who could've just given out the right order, but couldn't do anything about it.
And, regretfully, I still was a coward.
I started to notice how similar my life was to my previous one. After I'd done some research, I found out I'd been reincarnated. So when I saw the name of my high school was St Maria's, I panicked. I didn't want the same thing to happen all over again.
The name of the school's opposing football team was, wait for it; the Titans. The school coach was called Keith, and he was just as strict as he had been before. And even though Eren remembered his past life, he ran head first into the football team, the Survey Scouts, to beat the Titans. For that reason, I made sure to do the opposite of what he did and I avoided that life as much as I could.
I joined the basketball team, with a safe name like Maria's Monsters. I stayed away from people I shouldn't have recognised and been able to name. People like Connie, Berthold, Thomas, Annie and especially Eren. I never fought with him. After that hospital incident I never spoke to him again, but I saw him everywhere in school.
Things stopped being safe after the tryouts for the team. I stared at the call-back list for a full five minutes, only able to see one name.
Marco Bodt.
I didn't know what position he was in for or when he'd even gone for tryouts but after that day, I made it my goddamn mission to find that boy.
Even if I didn't want things to happen like they had before, where everyone I knew could be killed at any second, I sure as hell wanted my best friend back. I wanted him back very, very badly. Besides, we didn't live in that world any more. We were much safer now. At least, safe enough to not have to worry about being eaten alive 24/7.
So when I found that black haired and freckled boy walking down the hallway, smiling with brilliant white teeth at his friends, I stopped thinking and just moved, running towards him at full speed with my backpack jiggling.
And that brings us to my current situation.
I watched for a sign of recognition, a flicker of remembrance in his eyes, for him to hug me back so that this wouldn't look as gay as it felt and for him to say me name, just anything to show me he remembered me.
He stared at me incredulously, confusion and disgust playing on his expression as I let him go hastily.
"Ah. Oh, um s-sorry, I didn't mean to do that, not like that anyway, um. You, you remember me, right? Marco?"
He glimpsed around him, taking in the surroundings we were in, licking his lips nervously and frowning.
Marco grabbed the scuff of my shirt collar and threw me into the wall as I yelped. I felt the heat of his fingers as he pushed me back against the concrete, his eyes wild and angry as he glared.
"Don't fucking touch me so familiarly, faggot." he spat at me.
He dropped his grip, making me fall down and he stormed off down the hallway. His friends glanced at me nervously, all wearing similar t-shirts to Marco and blue jeans, then they shuffled to catch up to him.
I slumped against the wall, the contents of whatever was in my bag probably crushed, people stared at me, whispering gossip. I didn't see them. I watched with wide eyes as Marco swaggered away, his shoulders hunched angrily.
Clearly, Marco Bodt had seen some changes, drastic changes to his personality.
And that was assuming the guy had even been Marco.
I wasn't really sure of anything now.
The bell rang, and people forgot about me, heading towards their classes.
I'd make him remember. I would make this asshat of a guy that claimed to be Bodt remember me and everyone in our past life. I stood up and stumbled towards my next class, P.E.
Just my luck.