So, I'm a fan of political shows and films, particularly if they fall within the satire genre. I'm nowhere near knowledgeable or talented enough to write such things, but if there was ever an arena for a human Klaus to cause havoc surely it would be in politics.

The title is stolen from a film I'm fond of.

This is simply an introduction to establish the relationships and events that have occurred before the actual story begins. If you have watched the show from the beginning it should be fairly clear where this falls, you know if I hadn't turned everyone human and deposited them in Washington DC.

I make no promises for quick updates as I haven't actually mapped the story out yet. Also I have no beta and tend to just write and post so if you pick up errors please point them out.

There are, it is said, only two certainties in life – death and taxes – Elena Gilbert would argue for a third - Klaus Mikaelson's capacity for destruction. Her short term in politics had been subjugated by his vicious tendencies – one attack after the other all aimed at forcing her to either bow to his will or simply bow-out.

Barely two months into the campaign his people had approached requesting that she lend her ear to their concerns. Naïve as she was she had dismissed the request out of hand, not interested in listening to their oil fueled arguments. After all, what was the harm in her considering bills on their merits rather than what each lobby group determined was their pitfalls? What was the harm in forming one's own policies and opinions?

Apparently a lot, for not a week later her best friend/de facto campaign manager would have, had Damon Salvatore not somehow managed to recover the incriminating pictures, been plastered all over the tabloids in a compromising position with one Tyler Lockwood. Making out with one's boyfriend fully clothed, albeit in a dress that left little to the imagination, was hardly front page news, but there was just something decidedly unseemly getting it on in the cabinet room. Particularly when one of the participants happened to be the son of the republican senate leader and the other was running a surprisingly effective campaign to get a young idealistic Elena Gilbert elected to Congress. Not to forget that they their being there was a security breach which had apparently been ignored.

Elena didn't know how Damon had retrieved the photos and she wasn't sure she wanted to, she was simply grateful that her best friend was spared the embarrassment and her campaign hadn't suffered. Of course just as they had all breathed a sigh of relief, another far more damaging story made front page news.

Everyone was aware that her aunt Jenna, who had acted as her guardian since the untimely death of her parents, had been somewhat wild in her youth, but they regretfully hadn't realized just how wild. There could be no denial that the naked woman snorting cocaine and engaging in BDSM sex acts with no less than four partners was Jenna Sommers considering the excellent lighting and high resolution. It was in fact so good that one couldn't help but think it was a professional job. It was certainly a professional stitch-up; one that Mikaelson, despite the lack of evidence, was clearly behind.

Regardless, the fact remained that whether Jenna was set up or not she had been a very active participant. A very active participant that, in contrast to her bondage mask wearing partners, was staring directly into the camera's lens, her face as unobstructed as her body was unclothed – if one didn't consider nipple clamps clothing.

Jenna, who had moved passed the excesses of her youth to become a respectable member of society, was devastated to say the least. In fact she was so distraught that in an ill-fated attempt to escape the hounding press core she got behind the wheel, took a corner much too quickly, lost control, and ploughed head-on into an oncoming vehicle. In doing so she killed not only herself but both occupants in the other car. Having lost her parents in a car crash, it was particularly traumatic for Elena and having to publicly apologize to the families of Jules and Greta only made it worse.

But what really destroyed her, what had kept her up at night, was the knowledge that it was all her fault. If she had only played along, smiled and nodded, the people she was close to would not have become targets. Ten years was a long time to hold onto something so explosive, but it was a well-known fact that Klaus Mikaelson played a long game and considering the Gilbert's prominence in politics they should have anticipated it. They should have, as Caroline herself had suggested when Elena first announced that she was considering running, check the family closets for skeletons or better yet have Bonnie check.

At the time Elena had laughed, a family such as hers wasn't prone to the types of scandals that destroyed so many others. Hell, the Gilberts were so well established amongst the power players of DC they were practically a founding family. Or at least they had been, before her Uncle John's unexpected withdrawal from society, before her father's untimely death. Elena had intended to continue her family's legacy, but it seemed she was destined for failure, or rather that Klaus Mikaelson decided she was.

It was following Jenna's death that Caroline ignored Elena's protest that if there was something to find it would have come out during her father's long political career and had Bonnie dig into the Gilbert clan. Bonnie Bennett another of Elena's best friends and the real life version of Olivia Pope, uncovered much more than Elena had thought possible. It turned out that the Gilbert family had a lot of secrets - their history was soap opera worthy.

The most shocking secret, at least as far as Elena was concerned, was that Grayson and Miranda Gilbert weren't her birth parents, she was it seemed the product of an illicit affair between her Uncle John – a man she wasn't excessively fond of – and Isobel Flemming who was apparently the ex-wife of Alaric Saltzman who just happened to be the love of Jenna Sommers last few years of life. If that wasn't enough Isobel Flemming was also a distant cousin from the Petrova side of the family - that being Elena's grandmother's maiden name.

What's more Damon Salvatore, the very same Damon Salvatore that had saved her best friend from public embarrassment was responsible for the breakdown in Isobel and Alaric's marriage having apparently screwed her out of love with the man. And as though it couldn't get any worse this was after Katerina Petrova – otherwise known as Katherine Pierce – had broken Damon's heart having dumped him for his younger brother Stefan, who was then later discarded in favor of Elijah Mikaelson, the devil's own brother.

And the incestuous cherry on top? Elena Gilbert second cousin of one Katherine Pierce was, at the time, very much in love with Stefan Salvatore and on the verge of getting engaged.

The further back one went the worse it seemed to get, her ancestors were apparently every bit as vicious as Klaus Mikaelson and had throughout their time in DC and their ancestral home of Mystic Falls Virginia engaged in a variety of unsavory actions which if revealed would surely end her short career in politics. Thankfully Katherine Pierce was an evil bitch and could be counted on decimating any and all that attempted to bring her family's good name into disrepute so they had little to fear in relation to the Petrova's long line of atrocities.

Her Uncle nee birth father had put an end to the personal scandal by publicly declaring that Elena whilst biologically his was now and always had been the daughter of Grayson Gilbert. It was not a secret he declared, merely private and at no point had any of the family made an effort to hide it. Though not exactly true, the media found it less interesting than the life and times of Jenna Sommers so it died a quick death. John Gilbert faded back into the anonymity he seemed so set on and Caroline somehow spun it so that Elena's story was the kind of fairy tale the public seemed so fond of – right up until they pushed you off the cliff that is.

Considering their campaign was driven by name recognition it was perhaps surprising that all the bad publicity did not appear to influence the result. Caroline had jokingly stated that voting Gilbert was so ingrained in the constituents' minds that she could have spent their entire marketing allocation on shoes and still delivered a Gilbert win. Considering a post voting survey indicated that a large selection of those who advised they voted for her did so mostly out of habit, Caroline's joke was more fact than fiction.

Elena arrived in Washington DC hopeful that the ugliness that surrounded her run for office would be relegated to history now that she was an elected official, but she soon realized that was not to be the case. It had started well, if you didn't include Caroline abandoning her to return to the DA's office from where she had taken a leave of absence in order to help get Elena elected. The way Caroline told it Elena had fought through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered to make it to Capitol Hill, and would be just fine without her. Elena wished that was the case.

It started well. Her appointed office wasn't in the best location, but nor was it as bad as it could have been. Damon had agreed to act as her Chief of Staff and she had faith that while he might not have been the most reputable of people he had her best interests at heart. She settled in, was almost comfortable, and then something astounding happened. Raising not just a few eyebrows freshly elected Elena Gilbert was appointed to fill the seat of a recently deceased member of the Ways and Means committee, one of the most powerful committees in the House. Her father had served twelve years and never hoped to reach such a lofty position, Elena was barely in office four months.

It was unheard of, utterly unprecedented. Elena was flattered, though perplexed. Until of course she received yet another request from his people – it was all downhill from there. She was not so foolish to turn him down twice, even though there was no one in the whole wide world she hated more. So behind closed doors she and Damon meet with the Devil's representatives and in that meeting they proceeded to outline the way of the world. Elena had been enraged, but she swallowed down her wrath and with a very carefully controlled expression she thanked them for their time – as though they had done her a favor – and politely showed them the door. Upon their exit they handed Damon an envelope and extended well wishes to the two of them.

The contents of the envelope turned rage into terror, for the disc within held details of each and every scandal that could bury her political career and one more that might have sent Damon Salvatore to jail. And Damon probably would have ended up there had Stefan, her epic love, not made a deal with the Devil that saved him. Stefan had, much like his elder brother, spent a good few years whoring out his legal services to the rich and notorious. At some point during his immoral past as the Ripper, so named because he utterly decimated all those that stood against him whether by legal means or others, he and the Devil had become the best of friends. That friendship had ended when Stefan grew a conscience and started working in the United States Attorney's Office for the District of Columbia as an assistant DA.

When Elena showed Stefan the contents of the disc he said not a word, but left her office and then not one hour later rang her to announce that he had taken care of it. The next day Caroline, who was Stefan's protégé at the DA's office, rang and advised that Stefan had quit and was going to work for Mikaelson Incorporated. About a hundred unanswered voice mails later, Stefan responded by breaking up with her by text and promptly left the city to take up residence in Chicago in which Mikaelson's head office was situated. To say she was devastated was an understatement; if not for the support of Damon and her friends she might have quit.

But she didn't, she remained. Two years in office as Mikaelson's virtual puppet pushing through every piece of tax legislation that might enable the billionaire to become that little bit richer, but still there.

Waiting.

And should Bonnie Bennett manage to find the chink in the devil's armor, if they ever found a way, she would destroy him.