Chapter one: The awakening

I slowly open my eyes, to see an unfamiliar room. I try to sit up on my bed, but my golden horn hat is stuck on the pillow. I don't even know why I wear that stupid thing. It doesn't even make me look that cool. Taking it off, I carefully set it down on the pillow. It might be a stupid thing, but my brother would kill me if I damaged our family heirloom. I now get a better view of my surroundings. I am in a small glass room, with a toilet, a bed, and a desk. The little radio on the desk is just repeating the same 10 seconds of music over and over again. I decide to smash it. Outside of my little room is just a bigger room. I jump as a computerized voice comes on out of nowhere.

"Welcome test subject number 1897336. You will have much fun inside this testing facility."

"Test subject?! Do you know who I am?! I am Loki! Former ruler of Asguard!"

"Get ready to step through the portal in 3. 2. 1. Now."

A light blue hole opens up next to me, while an orange one opens up on the other side of the glass. When I look through it, I see me, and my long green cape, but not like a mirror, more like a video camera. I cautiously stick one hand through it and see it come out of the orange hole! I guess these are portals. Just realizing it, I look around for my scepter, only to find it's not here.

"Hey you! Stupid computer voice! Where the CRAP is my scepter?!"

"I am Glados. You may call me Glados. You may not call me stupid computer voice. You may call me Glados. You must now go through the testing facility."

"And please tell me why I would give a crap about your facility."

"You give a crap because when you complete the facility, you will get your scepter back."

"Hmm, yeah I guess I could try out a portal testing facility… or I could just blow this place up! I took doomsday devices class in high school! I can make a bomb out of much less than a radio!"

"Any and all unauthorized explosions will be terminated. Now please start the test."

I decide that this robot voice really is a robot, so I think, why not. I might as well play around with some portals. And I really need my staff back. So I walk through the portal. I feel a slight tingling while I walk through, but it passes soon enough. I wander around for a few minutes, going through various doors and hallways. Through some glass I see what looks like the hulk, eating a room of pancakes.

"Hulk want more pancakes!" he screams as he finishes the room.

I see a blue light wiz past my face. I turn to see what it was, and see yet another blue portal. This time though, I can't see the orange portal. I look through the blue, and try to decide whether it's safe to jump, when all of a sudden the portal just closes. Shocked, it takes me a few seconds to figure out that I should try and find out where the portals are coming from.

"For this first test, please get the version 1 portal gun."

Ugh, Glados again. Well, I'd better do what it says. After all, 'hell hath no fury like that of an emotionless robot'. I see a small hole in the wall, just as the blue zips by my face again. This time, before it closes on me, I jump straight through the portal, landing on some sort of platform with a rotating pedestal, holding some sort of thingamajig. Is looks like I am supposed to put it on like a glove. I decide it won't do any harm to pick it up. Right when I pick it up though, some idiot in a fedora swings in on a whip yelling 'Indiana Jones to the rescue!' and puts a sandbag down on the pedestal. He then falls into the water and sinks down.

I feel a button inside of glove-like opening. Since I have no idea what it does, I press it. The blue light shoots out of it, and a blue portal appears on the wall. It's too far to jump to, but I could always just swim in the water. I could, but then my awesome cape would get wet. So I shoot a portal below me instead. I fly through and land on my face in an undignified manner. Looking around, I see a sliding iron door, and a blue box with a black 'X' on it. I walk towards it, and when I get to it, the camera swivels around and stares at me, while the blue box with a black 'X' turns into an orange box with a black checkmark on it. The door slides open. I walk through the door, and then this blue screen, which makes all of the portals I made disappear.