He looks up from his book, clasping it shut before giving a smile* Oh, hello there! As you all know, I simply go by V. This story is simply an idea that I've had running rampant in my head for a few days, so I've decided to give it a whirl. Let's see where it goes, shall we?

-V

"Get the fuck out of here, scum!" A villager yelled in his drunken stupor, throwing a bottle at a young child with sun kissed hair, tan skin and three whisker marks on either side of his cheeks. The boy in question was the mere age of five, having lived on the streets for a year now. His name was Naruto Uzumaki, and he was the current pariah of his beloved village, the Hidden Leaf. Five years ago the Nine Tailed Fox attacked the village in a blind rage, only for the Fourth Hokage to stop it by sealing it within young Naruto, at the cost of his life. Hence that day, Naruto was then marked as the Nine Tails jinchuriki.

He was often chased by one or thirty villagers, some ninja accompanying them as well. But the crafty boy managed to escape serious harm most of the time. One out of ten times he would end up in the hospital, only to be discharged the same day. He didn't know what made him heal so fast, but he was grateful for it. His life in the village was about to be thrown upside down, tossed in the washer with said washer thrown in a tornado, with the washer finally coming out twisted and a different washer entirely.*

"Get the demon!" Another villager called out, a small mob forming upon the young boy. Naruto looked behind him and uttered a small curse that no five year old should know, but nevertheless, the boy plowed on, turning in an alleyway only to bump into someone. Landing with a small 'oof'. He gazed up to see a male in a purple dress suit, a flower on the left side, white gloves and a green vest underneath the dress jacket. The male had striking green hair, a pale white face, almost if someone covered it in white paint, black eye shadow over his eyes, red lipstick over his mouth, with lips being stretched into a wide grin.

"Eh? What the?" The male asked, turning around to gaze at the boy. "Get lost, kid!" However, the male saw the mob turning into the alley way, his beady green eyes gazing down at the small boy, connecting the dots. His eyebrows furrowed in slight anger at the thought of someone beating this kid, before a facade of calm indifference crossed his features. He knew what it was like to be beat, and he had seen the kid around the village a few times, begging for food. The male supposed he could lend a helping hand, or some explosives. He clapped his hands together, his grin seemingly to grow bigger. "Ah, hello there compadres! Glad you could join the party!"

"Get out of here, clown. We got unfinished business with the kid." The leader called out, alcohol deep on his breath.

The male faked an image of hurt, as he placed a hand at his chest. "Why, that was rather rude of you. Didn't your mother teach you any manners?" He nudged Naruto behind him with his foot, the boy watching in shock. Someone was standing up for him? The mob squeezed into the alleyway, before the clown like man held out his hand. "Put her there partner!" The drunken male gazed down at the hand in confusion, before shaking it hesitantly. The next moment electricity lit up the small alleyway, as the smell of burning flesh reached everyone's nostrils. The male dropped the dead body before his grin grew. "Would anyone else like to shake?"

The mob stared at the man in fear before they all vanished, stumbling and pushing each other over, trying to get away. Once they were gone, the male turned and crouched down next to Naruto, extending a hand. "No way!" The five year old cried out indignantly, crossing his arms. "I saw what you did to that bad man. I'm not fallin' for it."

The male let out a laugh, one that was high pitched. "You're a sharp cookie, kid. What's your name?"

"N...Naruto. Why did you help me?"

"Because kid, I used to be like you. Abused and neglected. Then I gained shrugged it off and began to smile. And look, I can't stop smiling!" The male pointed to his mouth, showing his wide permanent grin.

"Thank you...what is your name?" Naruto inquired.

"My name? Why young Naruto, I'm the Joker!" The clown like man identified himself, before putting away his buzz shocker, stowing it away in his pocket. "And I would like to train you. To teach you to never stop smiling, no matter what. Would you like that? I could teach you to be a force to be reckoned with!" He held out his hand, eyes shining with delight when Naruto grasped it. "You'll be like a son to me, Naruto." The Joker promised. "Now, let's get out of this village, eh?"

"But...what about the old man?" Naruto questioned.

"Oh don't worry. I'm sure the 'old man' will be just fine without you. Besides, he has the village to look after right? He surely won't mind if you go on a vacation." The Joker reasoned, manipulating the small child. Naruto nodded and the Joker's grin widened. "Alright then, let us be off!" The two then left the village under the cover of night, the Joker knocking out anyone who crossed his path with his trusty crowbar. That night, Naruto Uzumaki's life was thrown upside down, thrown in the washer, with the washer going through a twister and coming out demented and twisted, a brand new washer!

XxXx

11 years later

Kakashi and Asuma exchanged glances, watching as a clone of Zabuza Momochi slowly stalked towards their genin teams, Team Seven and Team Ten, respectively. It was supposed to be a simple C rank mission, escort a bridge builder by the name of Tazuna back to his home in Wave Country, help him finish the bridge then leave. They never said anything about encountering chunin level ninja, or jounin. The Demon Brothers, Gozu and Meizu were easy enough to handle, but Zabuza Momochi was on an entirely different level. The only reason they continued onward was due to the stubborn determination of one member on Kakashi's team named Shogo Kita, who was teammates with Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha. Shogo insisted they continue and that nothing could deter them, and that they could handle anything in their way. The boy had spunk, but his loud mouth has gotten him into trouble more times than naught.

"Heh, seems that your brats are going to die." Zabuza chuckled out, watching his clone still walk towards them with a calm easiness, knowing that with the jounin taken care of, the genin and bridge builder were of no concern.

"Sasuke, what do we do?" Sakura whispered out, watching the Uchiha. She was a founding fangirl of the Uchiha fanclub that started up in the academy, quickly gaining a rival in her ex-best friend, Ino Yamanaka. She gripped a kunai in her hand, shaking at the sight of the Zabuza clone steadily approaching closer.

"Shikamaru, do you think you can stop the clone with your jutsu?" Sasuke asked, turning to gaze at the lazy genius. Normally, Sasuke wouldn't even bother for help, but it was a matter of life and death as of right now. The boy in question let out a quiet sigh as he contemplated the distance between themselves and the clone.

"Not at this distance. Whenever he gets closer, maybe. But it's iffy." Came the slow reply, as Shikamaru analyzed his opponent. His two teammates, Choji Akimichi and Ino Yamanaka were guarding Tazuna along with Sakura and Sasuke. However, Choji looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there at the moment, and Ino looked close to fainting.

The clone withdrew his sword from behind his back, gripping it tightly within his hands as he began to charge at the group of genin, the sword dragging behind him, tearing up the ground. "Prepare to die!" He roared, quickly approaching before swinging the sword upwards to effectively dispose of the bridge builder and the genin. However before the sword could get halfway into the swing, a cannonball came out of nowhere, dislodging the sword from the clone's grasp and making both explode into a shower of water.

"What the?" Sasuke uttered out, looking around. "Where the hell did that come from?"

Zabuza was equally surprised, gazing around for the unseen opponent. He peered up into the trees to where his accomplice would be, only to see no one in sight. "Oh, that can't be good." He muttered out, quickly creating two more clones that went straight for the target, only to be wiped out by a piano and a cart. "What the hell?" The jounin kept his cool for the moment, surveying the area. In the distance he spotted a shadow and quickly threw a kunai at said shadow, only for the kunai to be engulfed by the shadow, and returned as a fireball. Zabuza jumped over the fireball and cursed, "This is getting ridiculous. Show yourself, coward!" The sound of someone coming up out of the water behind him caused the 'Demon of the Hidden Mist' to turn around quick enough to give any normal civilian whiplash. The jounin struck out with his sword, only for it to be countered with a crowbar. Zabuza's eyes widened slightly as he stared at his opponent. "You...?!"

His opponent's eyes danced from behind his mask as he quickly pushed Zabuza back, a clone tripping him while another scissor kicked him into the water, effectively releasing Kakashi and Asuma. "What the? Who's that?" Sakura asked, peering out through the fog. The mystery man put away his crowbar before walking over to pick up Zabuza's, grunting under the sword's weight.

"Mm. Heavier than you used to be." The voice stated, before it broke out into a laugh. Kakashi and Asuma stared as Zabuza launched out of the water with such rage, they feared for the stranger. "Oh come on Zabuza. Surely you can do better than that?" He taunted, vaulting over the missing Mist ninja. "Hell, even Haku did better than you're doing right now! Sadly to say, she's currently...disposed of."

"So that means she's not coming back?" Zabuza turned around, slamming his fist into the male's face, only for the body to vanish in a puff of smoke.

"Bingo. She's dead, mate. And you could have prevented that." The male said nonchalantly, striking Zabuza twice in the midsection.

"Stop clowning around!" Zabuza roared out, only for water to be sprayed in his face. He let out a growl of irritation, swinging and kicking before he backflipped away. "That's it! I'm going to drown you, you clown!" He quickly began to go through handsigns, cackling like mad all the while he did it.

"Uhm. Leaf-san?" The voice questioned, the male turning to Kakashi and Asuma. "You guys may want to grab your genin and get up to a tall tree." The male then turned back to Zabuza, the meat cleaver like sword embedded in the ground. "Let's see if you can get your sword back, Zaby-poo." The voice taunted, causing Zabuza to speed up the handseals.

Kakashi and Asuma appeared next to the bridge builder, "You heard the man. Let's move." Kakashi said seriously, grabbing onto the bridge builder and Sakura, while a clone gripped Sasuke and Shogo by the shoulder. Team Ten followed suit, the two squads from the Hidden Leaf village safe in a tree. "Asuma...was that who I think it was?" Everyone gazed outward as the fog lifted, showing the male and Zabuza locked in combat.

The male was wearing a painted clown mask, something so simple, yet so frighting. Painted white with red lips where the boy's mouth would be, and two eyeholes for him to see out of. That was it, yet that seemed to strike fear in Zabuza's heart. The male had a long flowing purple trench coat, black slacks and standard combat boots. Underneath the trench coat he had a mesh shirt underneath an armored vest, standard chunin or jounin vest. The blonde's sun kissed hair jutted out from behind the mask, giving Kakashi and Asuma further suspicions as to who their mystery man was.

"My memory is fuzzy, but I think so." Asuma agreed, scratching his head in a confused manner.

"Who, Asuma-sensei? Who are you talking about?" Ino questioned. However, her question fell on deaf ears as Zabuza finally finished his attack.

"Water Style: Great Tsunami Jutsu!" Zabuza called out, the lake behind him rushing forward to engulf the mystery opponent. The waves rushed forward, washing over the opponent and sweeping him away. "See? I told you I was gonna drown you." Zabuza panted out, the jutsu taking quite a bit of chakra out of him. He walked forward, only to trip as a hand erupted out of the ground, pulling him down to his shoulders, his neck and head still jutting out of the ground. The mystery man popped out with a grin, Zabuza's eyes widening. "Why won't you just die?"

"Oh come on, Zaby. You gotta know it'll take more than a small wave to kill me." He shrugged, electricity sparking in his hand, dancing from his finger tips.

"Please, not that jutsu!" Zabuza cried out.

"Sorry, Zaby. It seems that your ship is sailing. You should have taken my offer two years back." Without another thought, the male clasped his hand down upon Zabuza's head, electrocuting him and blinding the nearby ninja due to how much electricity there was. His jutsu done, the male pulled back and shoved his hand into his pocket, turning away from the head and whistling to himself.

"What...what is this guy?" Shikamaru muttered out, his eyes wide.

"Oh my God!" Sakura whispered, a hand reaching up to cover her mouth.

"Holy shit." Choji breathed out.

"Is...is that clown make-up?" Ino wondered.

"So, it is him." Kakashi confirmed.

"Seems so." Asuma agreed.

Sasuke stared down at the face of Zabuza Momochi, the bandages gone from his face. The jounin's face remained relatively normal, except there was now bright red lipstick on the male's lips, his mouth stretched into a huge grin. "What in the hell?" Sasuke asked.

"Don't you all just love my handy-work?" The male from before questioned, causing Ino and Sakura to shriek, as he was right behind him. Seeing Kakashi and Asuma draw their weapons, the male put up his hands in a friendly gesture. "Don't worry, I'm not going to harm you. Besides, why would I wanna hurt Smoky the Bear, and Inu the Dog?" Kakashi's eyes widened, as the male grinned widely. "Yep. I remember you, Kakashi Hatake."

"N...Nar-?" Kakashi started hesitantly, only for the man to hold up his index finger and 'shush' Kakashi, further confusing him. Where was the blonde child he used to watch that was a mere five years old, and who was this teenager in front of him? Was this really the male simply known as 'The Laughing Ace' in their bingo book? What happened to him?

"Oh, I don't use that name anymore, Hatake. I simply prefer Smiley. I mean, as you can see, I love smiling and I prefer to make others smile as well!" The boy gave a small chuckle, mirth in his eyes. The rest of the genin were wondering if this boy was delusional, psychotic or just weird.

"I. Are you going to try to stop us?" Ino questioned, speaking up after a moment. She wished she hadn't said anything when his piercing blue eyes gazed upon her, before flickering back to Kakashi.

"Oh, no. I have no reason to harm any of you. Zabuza and me just had an old score to settle is all." The boy shrugged, before leaping out of the tree. "Perhaps I'll see you around, sometime, Leaf ninja." The boy then proceeded to laugh a hyena like laugh, said laugh alternating in pitch and tone before it ended on a high note. The mercenary known as 'The Laughing Ace' simply disappeared in a cloud of green and purple, leaving the ninja from the Hidden Leaf alone with the body of Zabuza Momochi. No one noticed the absence of his sword either.

"Well...that was troublesome." Shikamaru let out a yawn, and everyone else could only agree.

The whole washer in a tornado thing was my attempt at being...clever. It didn't work. Well, I hope you all enjoyed this first chapter of 'Never Stop Smiling'.

-V